"I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing."
"What do you think you're seeing? Because if it's a heard of rutting, mostly urple, hoof-less horses, we're sharing this hallucination, Colonel."
"Shit." Sheppard blinked again as the one with the blue body and rainbowed mane and tail ran up to him, stamped her not-hoof just an inch away from his foot, and snorted in his face. Her breath was actually kind of sweet smelling, which was weird because horses smelled awful, not like a berry pie.
"I'm going to venture a guess and say that the designers for those little pony dolls are Ancients who needed to make a quick buck. But goddamnit, that means not only are they at least partly responsible for the Wraith, Goa'uld, Ori, Replicators, and who knows what other people who will want to kill us, but also for brainwashing kids with the most annoying cartoons and the stupidest toys ever." Rodney was about to go on, but was knocked over by another blue horse, but this one had small wing-like appendages on her side and made the oddest whistling noises. It sort of stood over Rodney and bent her head low to look at his hair and ruffle it with her whistling snorts. "Ow! Get it off!"
"Huh. She likes you." Sheppard commented as the whistling horse started licking Rodney and nuzzling him. A light green horse with pink for her mane and tail ran up and nickered at the two blue horses. The rainbowed one turned from her inspection of Sheppard and nudged the whistling one off of Rodney who got up as quick as he could.
"Great. Where are Xena and Conan? Why aren't they here to protect me from these over-grown mutant toys?"
"The Alesh said that because they're not 'Lantian, they can't help us. They want to trade with us not the Athosians and Ronon doesn't think of himself as 'Lantian." Sheppard said.
"Yeah, yeah. But, shouldn't the diplomatic teams be doing this horse-whisperer thing instead of us?"
"Nope, and you know it. You were there when they told us that we'd have to do a getting-to-know-you thing."
"I hope this is worth it."
"Ray-bou Berries."
"Fine. It's probably going to be worth it. But if these beasts follow you, we are not taking them home with us."
"But, look, ma, she's almost as good as trained." Sheppard mock-pouted and Rodney's stern look vanished as he laughed.
"God, imagine Weir's face if they pranced through the 'gate after us."