I still remember. I still do. There's no doubt of that.

I remember how I laughed to my idiotic brothers and their doings. I still remember when I cried if someone dear to me died away. I remember every touch that my body had gone through. I still remember every feeling that I've even feel. I remember everything.

But not my name. Not anymore.

"Hitsui, goddamned! You have a customer!"

I woke up from my minds. I felt sick in my stomach. But I couldn't resist, not because I wanted to. I had to do no resist if I wanted to get over day by day without any harm to myself. It was WRONG to me serve men like that. It was WRONG to have so many men to be served at the same time. Do you now know where I live?

Yes. In house of prostitution.

I walked to inside the house. It wasn't big, not as big as the best border in country, but still. We lived there, everyone in their own ways. Someone tried to survive no matter, what someone just freezes their hearts. Just like I did. The freeze went to that point I couldn't remember my name, no longer. I couldn't feel anything no matter that I remembered that I had brothers and parents. They only excited, but nothing more, nothing less. Just like sky, for example.

I went to my room. I didn't look anybody at the way to there. I couldn't even watch those men in my room. There were about three men, maybe even four, I don't know. I stripped myself to naked in front of them. First I took off my obi. Then the whole kimono, I was definitely without any kind of protect. I really mean it. Those men eyes were so lusty. I didn't have curves like many other girls in that house, but still. Well, it was my job, huh?

"Sorry to keep you waiting," were my first words to my customers. One of them stood in front of me. He hit me so hard. It hurted so much. I feel on the floor and I hit my head for a second time. I couldn't see a thing for a moment. But I didn't cry. Those men were not worth of my tears.

One of them craped my hair. That same guy pulled me up to my foot. It hurted, I felt like he was going to scalpel my head by his bare hands. Every part of my body was terrified and some even in pain, but I couldn't – no – I shouldn't not show it to them. It just makes them to want to hurt me much more. I know those men a little too well. My head was in fire because I felt before, and I felt how blood was running under my chin from my forehead.

Disgusting.

So, they did their tricks to me. One of them pulled me on top of him and he stocked his genitals in my own. One of them stocked something in my ass, maybe fingers. I hated the pain, what those tricks caused to me. I hated their way to laugh at me and to my agony. Those sadistic bastards, may I say.

"Hey, this bitch is soaking wet!" one of them jelled to his fellas. I almost jumped in air. No way… Was I really that fallen woman? Well, it seemed I was. I WAS soaking wet from below. I bit my lips. I didn't want to make a sound of my mouth. It was… so…

"Ironic, is it?" I heard someone saying. I watched in corner. One those men just stand there watching. He seemed to have no interest to anything. Well, he had classes on his nose. Ash-grey hair, onyx eyes, normal toned skin… for somehow, it sounded so familiar to me.

"Ka…"

His name was just on my tongue. Why it was so hard to get out? Why…?

He clapped his hands and the, he smirked to all of us. It gave me very bad chills, like to anyone else in there too. Or maybe it was that other reason down below, but I didn't feel very comfortable in first place. Man that clapped his hands – okay, he was a young boy, not too much older from I was – said to other that what the other men had done to me, was enough. They didn't want to stop, but even I knew -that four-eyed kid was a bad news.

"You should do what he says," one of the men said. "Or else we're in trouble."

The one, who had just fucked me throw me to floor. My places were in agony. I mind was in sorrow. They all left the place, expect the boy with classes. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do… anything. The four-eyes walked to me. He crap my arm, pulled me up. I legs were shanking, I was bleeding. I wasn't even virgin, but somehow that always happened. Maybe that's why I was most "popular" girl in there.

Four-eyes looked at me. His eyes… somehow they freaked me out, but somehow I felt safety. It was so familiar to me; maybe that's why it wasn't so scary situation to me anymore. But I didn't know why I felt the way I felt. I just stared at him. He looked between my legs, then the blood trail coming from my personal place.

"My, my," he said and put me on futon in that room. I couldn't sit, no matter did he wanted it or not, only thing I could do was laying on it. He didn't say anything to me about that. He came on to me, made me felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to give him that image that he could anything he wants with and to me. It's a opposite, in fact, what I wanted to believe.

"They did so nasty things to you," he said with voice, which almost made me to vomit up. It was so… I don't know what to call it. I really don't, even now, in these days.

"I think we have met somewhere," I said and I tried to move myself off under him. "But I don't want to you sleep in same bed as I am."

"What a shame… Not, I get it."

He stood up to his foots. He got the nearest blanket to his hands and put it all over on me. If there was a bedtime story, then I could laugh at him. But he just packed my stuff to my only bag. It was small back, but it was dear to me. A memento of someone. Of something.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "Put them down, or I…"

"Or you what?" was his answer. He turned to me and pulled me on my seat. Shit, he was right. I couldn't do anything to him.

"I'll figure out something to you," I said. He laughed a bit, but not with bad tone. "I actually expected something like that from you, Himi… I mean, Hitsui."

"… You know my real name, huh?" I crap my kimono, pulled in on me as good as I could in that position. Well, I was still sitting, but I didn't want to naked in front of four-eyes. At least not that naked as moments before. He nodded to me and told my real name to me.

Himiko.

How beautiful name it was, may I say. But I was too used to be called as Hitsui, so… It felt idiotic. It was like he was mistaken me from another person. But that's all he ever told me in that day.

"How are you?" I asked, when he had get all my most important stuff, expect the one most less–precious one – my diploma. I didn't miss it in after words, to be honest. He looked at me and stared me for few ten seconds.

"Kabuto," he said. I knew it! That was the name what was on my tongue before! Dear God…

"So," I started and I was able to get on my feet. Kabuto seemed a bit surprised about that – did he know even that that I had so tolerance of pain? It felt like knew everything of me no matter that I didn't even remember him. It was so disturbing.

"Why are you backing my stuff?"

He turned to me and threw my back to me. We just looked each other. I remember that I thing that Kabuto had beautiful eyes. But not in the way someone else would think. I just though how ironic it was.

"I'm going to take you out of here," he said.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe my ears. Was that for real?

"You heard me right, Himiko. I already paid money from you. You're free to go."

"I hardly KNOW you!"

"This is your job, right?" Kabuto said and smirked again. Oh, that how it was. A set up, huh? But why? I didn't even ask. I was just happy to get out of there. I could just jump in the air and scream "YOLO" with all I've got. Beat it, bitches!

"Well," I said and put kimono nicely to cover my body. It felt so warn in fact. Like my whole body did. God, this nerd was my save from the shit! Hallelujah!

"Shall we go, then, Kabuto-san?"

From that barely moment my – our – journey begin.

TBC