The Unforgiven
Summary: Sirius Black speaks to his mother in the beyond about the way she had treated him in the living.
New blood joins this earth
And quickly he's subdued
Through constant pained disgrace
The young boy learns their rules.
"You never wanted to let me just be a child, mum," Sirius said as he looked at his long since passed mother. The woman looked at him with cold eyes.
"You were a terrible son, and a blood traitor at that," she said without a bit of love for her son who stood before her. "I wish you had drowned the day in the lake instead of those filthy half-breed and blood traitor rescuing you. You three should have done the Magic world a favor and just drowned."
"Mother, you never could understand," Sirius said quietly.
"You never ceased to disappoint me, Sirius," She said coldly.
With time the child draws in
This whipping boy done wrong
Deprived of all his thoughts
The young man struggles on and on he's known
"You forget mum, you tried to teach me to be a good pure blood," Sirius said to her as she tried to avert her eyes. Sirius pulled up his shirt and turned exposing his scarred back.
"Apparently I didn't do enough, you turning out the way you did," She replied. She refused to meet his eyes, though Sirius doubt it was from the shame of the quality of mother she was to him.
"Apparently not. I still turned to those you thought lower than you for friendship and love, and you couldn't do a damn thing about it," Sirius said as he righted his shirt and glared back at the woman who didn't even try to defend her position to him. She had already decided that her way was the right way.
A vow unto his own
That never from this day
His will they'll take away
"You could never stop me from being Remus and James' friend," Sirius told her. He had a look of self assuredness and accomplishment. "No matter how many times you brought the strong arm of Pure-Blooded Propaganda down on my tender flesh, no matter how many times you shed my blood, you could never stop me from being their friend, and from them being mine."
"An unfortunate consequence of lax admissions to Hogwarts," Mrs. Black told her son.
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never be
Never see
Won't see what might have been
"If you had been more like your brother, then maybe I could have been proud of you, Sirius. I always knew that there was something wrong about you, I did," Mrs. Black said as she looked at her younger son. "I tried to bring you up right, but somehow your mind was tainted that those types actually deserved more than servitude."
"I would never resort to your way of life," Sirius assured her as he paced in the darkness of the beyond. "I learned everything you taught me, but I chose to make my own decisions as to what was right and wrong."
What I've felt
What I've known
Never shined through in what I've shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
"There was a time, Sirius, that you showed so much promise," Mrs. Black told her son. Sirius nodded, hesitantly as he continued to pace.
"Yes, I admit it. For a time there, when I was very young, I thought there was nothing more important than to placate you and your ways," Sirius admitted. "But then I met Lily, James' Lily, and I knew that there was no way that your way could have been right. No way. I felt like a prisoner first in your house, and then with your name. I blame you for my failures, and none for my achievements. You don't deserve me as a son."
They dedicate their lives
To running all of his
He tried to please THEM all
This bitter man he is
Throughout his life the same
He's battled constantly
This fight he cannot win
A tired man they see no longer cares
"Yes, but you see where loving the Mudbloods got you, a thirteen year stint is Azkaban," Mrs. Black said coolly. "Thirteen long years for a crime you didn't commit. Even for all your friendships, they still blamed you for your little blood traitor friend's murder, and the murder of his Mudblood wife."
"Betrayed by Peter, though, never my so-called Mudblood and blood traitor friends," Sirius defended. He hung his head. "There were times I wanted to get out only to kill Peter, and those when I was most like you, most like a Black that I felt my worse. There was a war raging in my heart as to whether I should eradicate that slimy little rat from the surface of the Earth."
"Had you, you would have been able to redeem the name of Black," Mrs. Black chastised. "It would have redeemed you for the many years of unfaithfulness to our distinguished name."
"I couldn't though, because I am not a killer," Sirius replied to her. "I thought about what you would do, and then I did the opposite. I couldn't have the stain of blood upon my hands, the blood of a once-friend because I couldn't stoop to the evil in my heart, the part that desired nothing more than to please you. Just to spite me."
The old man then prepares
To die regretfully
That old man here is me
"There was a time, mum, that I knew I would regret things I have done in my youth as I lay upon my death bed," Sirius said quietly. He looked at the woman. "I thought that I would have a lifetime to fix things I had broken and to destroy things that needed to be destroyed. But then, my dear cousin sent me here early and I left behind my Godson, unable to repair the destroyed life that betrayal created."
"The son of a blood traitor and a Mudblood is no pureblood," Mrs. Black cackled. "Perhaps it would have been better for the purebloods if you had taken that boy. Let your life destroy his. It would have been sweet justice against that blood traitor."
"Perhaps, but I knew love with them that I never knew with you. I knew acceptance with Lily and James, and with their son Harry unlike anything I had ever known in all my years of being your son," Sirius said boldly. "The happiest day in my thirteen years at Azkaban was the day they carted your carcass out of the cell next to mine. I was happy to see you succumbed to the misery of Azkaban."
"You should have died there with me," Mrs. Black told him. "Your brother had honor among our kind that you could never know."
"Did he?" Sirius smirked.
"He was a true pureblood, full of honor and dignity. He knew his place, and where the lesser beings belonged," Mrs. Black said proudly. "You were nothing more than a blood traitor, rolling in the muck with other blood traitors and filthy Mudbloods."
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
You labeled me
I'll label you
So I dub thee UNFORGIVEN
"So, I am a blood traitor, and my brother is the golden child of the Dark Arts?" Sirius asked with a smirk and a laugh.
"It took you that long to figure it out," Mrs. Black said. She shook her head in disgust. "I kept hoping you would finally come to your senses, but I see you have none to speak of."
"Ah, well, you may say that I am a blood traitor, mum, but you are a delusion old bat. My brother was a great man, yes, but for what he did in spite of you. He learned through his own experiences that what you had taught us as children was wrong. He double crossed your Dark Lord and he destroyed a bit of that evil being. My Godson will prevail against the evil that you so heartily embrace. One day, woman, you will come to your sense, but it will be too late. You will be roasting in hell for your wicked ways."
"How dare you speak such lies about your brother," Mrs. Black spat at Sirius. Sirius signaled to another standing just beyond the darkness of the beyond. His elder brother stepped to where their mother could see him.
"My dear son!" She wept, her tears genuine and free. She fell to his feet, as if in worship and clutched his robes to her ancient breasts.
"Don't touch me," he said as he pushed her away. "I agree with Sirius. I will not have you corrupt anymore of my soul. It is only by the grace of God himself that I will not be joining you in the belly of hell."
With that, the ground below Mrs. Black's feet cracked and split until hell swallowed her whole. Sirius turned to his brother and the two embraced. Sirius looked over his shoulder to see James and Lily waiting there, waiting for Sirius with open arms. He knew, finally, he was home.
Song: The Unforgiven
Artist: Metallica