Night World: Book Four (My Take)

by We All Need A Nap

Okay, so it's no secret L.J. Smith has not published book four to our beloved Night World Series, so I am writing one up, and I apologize if it isn't exactly the same as the other books, but I will most certainly try my best, it will have many of the same characters, and new soul mates, so I hope you enjoy! Disclaimer I do not own the Night World series

1. Old Soul

Night World: Book four (my take): Story one: Old Souls

Chapter One:

Kestrel sat up in a cold sweat, her heart beating quickly, and her mind unfocused. What's wrong with you? Focus, don't you know waking up like this is dangerous? Hasn't it been drilled in your mind since birth that waking up alert and ready could be the difference between life and death for you? And isn't it your natural instinct? She mentally chastised herself, how could she wake up fuzzy? Vampires couldn't get sick, so why was her built in alert system failing her tonight of all night? The first night she had ever spent in Thierry's mansion. Everyone said Thierry's mansion was just about the safest place on earth right now, but Kestrel had doubts. There were plenty of night people here, all circle daybreak, or so they say, anyone could be a spy, waiting for their chance to pounce, or to run and get back up and help them in, to slaughter all the residents here in their sleep. Yes, to Kestrel it was one big slaughter house.

Kestrel took a breath, maybe she just needed blood. Yes, blood, a late night hunt in the moon light, fresh air, and something to kill. Perfect. She thought to herself with a grim smile. She looked at the clock, just past two a.m. I can be gone and back before anyone even woke, heck, I don't even have to change out of my night gown, no one to stop me. She thought happily as she got out of bed and stretched like a big fierce cat before walking over to her door, she was just about to open it when she heard uneven foot steps from the other side. She stopped dead, she even stopped breathing, and her heart pounded so hard she was sure whoever was out in the hallway could hear it.

Kestrel slowly reached over to her vanity, opened the drawer as quietly as she could, and grabbed the silver dagger she had hidden inside it. Maybe she was being paranoid, but just at that moment she didn't care, her senses were corrupt and she was in a new place, in the middle of the night with a bunch of strangers and didn't trust a one of them, especially ones who lurked at night when she couldn't focus. Kestrel opened the door of her room just in time to see a shadow of a figure retreat up the stairs to the third floor. Kestrel took a deep breath and followed the figure, which had already managed to get up the stairs and was heading down the dim lighted hallway.

Kestrel followed it and just as she was about to jump the figure turned and stared at her with wide eyes, but they only widened slightly and left as soon as they came. It was a boy about her age, with light blond hair, pale skin, and grey eyes that seemed to know things that no seventeen year old boy could ever know. She hesitated to stare at him, calling him beautiful was an understatement, but that hesitation was enough for him to completely plot out her next actions so when she swung the dagger at him he easily caught her wrist and grabbed her arm.

"Who are you?" Kestrel demanded, her face fierce and her eyes narrowed as she was already trying to regain her senses, and to her dismay, she realized he was human. He wouldn't happen to have an enemy in his pocket would he? Kestrel almost rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.

"I think under the circumstances, the question would be who are you? considering you are the one caught right now." The boy said with a voice that made Kestrel wonder if angels were real, because if they were, she was sure they would have voices like his. Kestrel glared, she didn't like being in this position and when she spoke it was in a grudging way.

"Kestrel Redfern. Now, let me go and answer." She said with a slight taint in her voice that made it sound more like 'let me go and drop dead'

The boy smiled warmly though he had clearly heard her tone. He let her go and Kestrel moodily straightened the sleeves of her night gown, the boy stared at her, and didn't even seem to attempt to hide his stare, and for some reason this made Kestrel even angrier then she already was that she had mistaken a human for the enemy.

"My names Hugh, I'm an old soul, I just got back from a mission for Circle Daybreak, I'm also good friends with your cousin Jez, but that's off subject, what are you doing up so late trying to stab people for?" Hugh asked and Kestrel shuffled her feet then crossed her arms with narrowed eyes.

"I woke up, I was going hunting, and I thought you were the enemy" she said stiffly now looking down at her feet while she pulled her sleeves over her hands nervously, feeling somewhat self conscious which she found odd since she had never cared about what she looked like or what she wore. She knew she should explain why she couldn't tell he was a human, and why she was going hunting in the middle of the night in her night gown, but she couldn't bring herself to embarrass herself even more by adding the fact that her powers were acting sketchy, though by some miracle, he did not ask.

"Hey don't hide from me" Hugh said in a good natured way, then gently grabbed her wrists and started pulling the sleeves back from her hands. His fingers just barley grazed her hands, but it was enough to send sparks flying through her entire body, and strong emotions that felt like she had been hit in the head with a giant wooden club. Kestrel jumped back glaring and her anger flared while she got into a defensive position. He shocked me! she thought outraged.

"What did you do to me?!" she yelled ready to knock him down, but something inside her refused to harm this random boy, though that only infuriated her more, he was just some guy who happened to come home the same night her senses went on the fritz, when any other boy ever startled her she had never had a problem knocking them flat.

"I didn't do anything. You need to take a deep breath, lets go downstairs, and we can calmly handle this." Hugh tried to say but Kestrel didn't want to listen to anything he had to say, especially when she looked into his grey eyes and saw that he had a pretty good guess of what happened. Just when Kestrel was getting ready to demand what he knew and she didn't, the room door they had been standing in front of opened. Ash stood there with a bad case of bed head, in his blue pajama bottoms, but he looked alert.

"What's going on out here?" Ash said, his eyes darting back and forth between Kestrel and Hugh.

"He shocked me! And I don't know how!" Kestrel exclaimed, giving Hugh her best glare, unfortunately he missed it because he was now looking at Ash, and Ash was looking back, Hugh's face was serious with his eyebrows drawn together, and Ash's had a smirk on it that made me want to slap him.

"go to bed Kestrel, deal with this in the morning, your not gonna figure anything out by shouting like that other then some of the people on this floor have a mean swing." Ash said with a light tone in his voice and just like that he was back in his room. Kestrel and Hugh turned back to each other and Hugh looked as though he wanted to say something but before he could Kestrel turned on her heel and ran as fast as she could to the doors to the balcony, she stepped out onto the balcony, and jumped to the ground, landing on her feet, but the three story fall was steep so she ended up falling forward and landing on her chest and knocking the wind out of her. She rolled on her back and looked up seeing Hugh had followed her, but stopped at the balcony, and was looking down at her with pure concern etched all over his face. Kestrel sucked in a deep breath and stood up already recovering. She re-adjusted her night gown and ran into the woods, though she could still feel Hugh's eyes on her.

She ran and ran and ran until she was deep in the heart of the woods and then she scaled a tree and waited. She saw squirrels, and possums, and rabbits, even a few raccoons, but Kestrel was determined to land a deer. It was almost an hour before one finally wandered in her path. She licked her lips, her jaw ached from the anticipation of fresh blood that drew her fangs out, and she was in a position to pounce like a feline about to attack. She jumped on top of the deer and it collapsed under her, she dug her fangs into the deer's neck and sucked the warm rich liquid. How could humans not crave this taste? It was so much sweeter then any desert they had ever created. Kestrel thought to herself then she stood and looked down at her white night gown, it was torn over one of the legs and covered with dirt and drops of blood, she could feel her golden waves had become tangled, and her mouth would need scrubbing to get the blood off, but she didn't care. Kestrel felt alive. More alive then she ever had.

She looked up at the moon and closed her eyes, stepping into it's light, she felt an odd sort of bliss in doing this, as though she was the only creature on the earth that could feel the moonlight. She didn't want this to end, but when she heard a loud crunch of leaves she whipped around and scanned the tree's but saw nothing, she felt a chill run down her spine so Kestrel got in a defensive crouch looking all around her. "Who's there?!" Kestrel yelled but all was silent. Kestrel stood there, her earlier bliss gone without a trace, though finally she grew patient and started running back to the mansion, a shock of adrenalin clinging to her with every step.

Hugh watched Kestrel run into the woods. He ran a hand through his hair once she was gone. She was so beautiful, is beautiful, her Golden waves of hair and golden eyes, though he could so clearly tell Kestrel wanted to slap him for giving her those shocks, he couldn't help but read behind those eyes, she was fierce and could come off as somewhat malicious, and she was strong, not just physically, Hugh already knew that emotionally she was even stronger, and even when things have hit rock bottom for her, she never cracked up once, nothing had ever broken Kestrel Redfern. And yet still, there was something behind those eyes that Hugh couldn't pin point, something that he was desperate to find out about her.

I love her.

That was Hugh's first thought about her when they had touched, and then he realized why, she was his soul mate, only, Kestrel didn't know it.

Hugh walked back down the hallway, and went into his room, but he didn't sleep. He was to busy thinking, he wasn't sure if he should tell Kestrel or not, if he told her she could get angry, she might not like that fate has decided for her who to love, or maybe it will all be to much for her and she'll leave, I would rather watch her be with some other nice guy right in front of me then never have her, but if I don't tell her, and let her find out on her own, she will come to love me on her own, she'll get to know me, and maybe she will accept it once she does find out…yes. I want Kestrel to love me because she loves me alone, not because some force makes her. Hugh thought and then looked out his window and up at the moon, he had always found comfort in looking at it, he always knew that even if you couldn't see it, it was still there, a constant variable, the only thing he had ever grown attached to.

Old souls couldn't attach themselves to anyone or anything, they had seen enough of the world to know better, even if they did find someone or something that stayed till their own death, they knew that in their next life that object or person would be gone, and they would be without it.

It wasn't like that with the moon, every time he shut his eyes to sleep and woke up, it was there, every time he had doubts, it was there, and every time he died and came back, it was there, and he loved it for that.

Hugh kept staring at the moon, but after awhile he suddenly felt alert, and ready for a fight, he didn't know how he knew, but he knew something was out in the woods, and he felt adrenalin pumping through him. That's weird…I've never felt a need to fight or run before, not unless it was to protect someone…Kestrel.

It came to him with a feeling of dread and fury that was also knew to him, why would someone want to hurt Kestrel? He questioned as he was running down each floor to get outside to Kestrel, she said she was going hunting, what if she was already in trouble? With that Hugh ran faster than he ever had, his limp leg making him frustrated do to how much it was slowing him down.

Hugh burst through the mansion door, and started towards the woods, but before he was even halfway to it he saw a glimpse of white and gold coloring coming towards him and before he knew it he was on the ground with the wind knocked out of him.

Kestrel was on the ground sitting up and looking around somewhat confused what did I hit? she asked herself then her a groan from beside her and glanced over. Hugh. She felt like she couldn't breath, her heart was pounding, and for the first time in her life she was afraid of something other than Ash, but she wasn't sure why, it was only Hugh she tried to tell herself, but a bigger part of her was petrified that he was hurt, that she had hurt him.

"H-Hugh?" she stuttered leaning over him, stroking the blond hair from his eyes. "Please be okay Hugh, are you okay? Do you need a witch? I can get a witch. Your not going to die right? Please, please, please don't die. What about a concussion? Did you hit your head?!" she asked all in a rush, ignoring the electric shocks that went through her, finding that they felt somewhat pleasant, though she didn't think about it at the time.

"Kestrel, I'm fine…" Hugh said in a groggy voice then took a deep breath and started sitting up. Kestrel let him, it wasn't her job to make sure he's okay to sit up, he was just some random guy…some random guy with soft hair and dreamy eyes and a voice like an angels that gave her pleasant electric shocks every time they touched, and made her feel like they had known each other forever…yah…just some random guy….

Kestrel started pulling her hand away from his hair when he began sitting up, but Hugh caught her hand and kept it there for a moment longer then gently lowered it to the space in-between them, but didn't let her go. Kestrel almost smiled at the shocks running through her body, but they felt so good she refused to let her own hand move. Kestrel looked up at Hugh and he stared into her eyes as though he was reading her soul, which made Kestrel feel exposed and she instantly started putting walls around her mind.

'No, don't put up walls, you don't need to hide from me.' it took Kestrel a moment to realize that the thought was not her own, it sounded like Hugh, only not like Hugh at the same time, it was Hugh's thoughts, he was in my mind. Kestrel started panicking.

'Go away! I don't want you here, I don't want to share my mind with anyone but me! Get out! This is private!' She thought back to him and started pulling her hand away to get away from him. He let her, and just like that, their connection was severed.

Kestrel sat staring at Hugh for a moment, his eyes looked sad and desperate, but also calm and understanding. Kestrel scrambled away from him and then stood up and ran into the mansion, she was scarred and confused, she just didn't understand what had happened between her and that human.

Kestrel had a sleepless night. She thought about going down to talk to someone about Hugh, but she was afraid someone would think she had gone insane, she stayed up all night thinking of him, replaying everything that had happened between them in her head, and once she was away from him and thinking clearly she realized what had happened.

Soul mates.

That was the only way to explain it. Hugh was her soul mate, and she was his, they were meant to be together forever, but she didn't want to be with anyone, she didn't want to care about anyone but herself, and she diffidently didn't want anyone to know her secrets, especially Hugh. What would he think of her if he knew everything about her? He would hate her. Why would he hate her? Because she was bad.

Kestrel pulled the sheets over her head. I'm staying in bed all day…maybe forever, Hugh can never see me again, I don't want to love him, so I wont. she thought stubbornly, but barley had time to think it before there was a soft knock at her bedroom door and Rowan poked her head in.

"Kes? What are you still doing in bed? It's almost eleven, and you know we have that meeting at eleven, one of us will be able to go on our first mission for circle day break with a team, it's all you've talked about doing since we announced we were coming, I would have thought you'd be the first one up" Rowan said gently, but the authority in her voice was always there, it was something she both hated and loved about Rowan, it made her seem more like a mother then a sister sometimes, Rowan always knew what to do, but that voice was also the one that made her do homework, and clean her room.

Kestrel didn't say anything for a short while but finally she found her voice, she had wanted to go on her first mission, more then anything, but now she wasn't sure, all she wanted to do was lay in bed and think about Hugh, and hide from him, and Hugh the old soul, a big shot of circle day break operations, would certainly be at the meeting.

"Go away Rowan, I changed my mind, I don't want to. And I'm tired, that's not the way to go on my first mission." Kestrel said cynically, though everything out of her mouth was a lie, except that she had changed her mind, even though she did not sleep, she didn't feel tired, she felt anxious, and awake.

"Well I'm not surprised, Ash told me he saw you last night, he said you were having an argument with Hugh, are you okay?" Rowan asked gently as she sat on the foot of the bed.

"Yes I'm fine" Kestrel lied hoping Rowan would take the bait and leave. No such luck.

"Kestrel, please , I know your not being honest, I wont push you to tell me anything you don't want to, but just remember, you can talk to me about anything. You do have to get dressed though, I will not take no for an answer, I know how much you've wanted to go to your first meeting, and do a mission, I wont let you miss that chance, so come on, get up, get dressed, and meet us all in the meeting room." Rowan said, she tugged the blanket off Kestrel's blanket and then left. Kestrel stared at the ceiling unsure of whether or not she wanted to take the risk of seeing Hugh.

After fifteen minutes Kestrel finally decided to get out of bed, but she also decided not to get dressed up, it was just a bunch of people who she now lived with, what did she care if they saw her looking like crap, but before she knew it she was putting on her best white silky top, with her best black dress skirt and even her black flack flats, soon she was tying her hair up in an elegant golden knot, and putting on make up. When she was done she didn't look like Kestrel the fierce, wild animal anymore, she looked like Kestrel, the elegant beauty. Kestrel took a deep breath and then she opened her door and headed down to the meeting room, she was a little over a half hour later, and she was so nervous she felt like shaky and sick. What if he doesn't like my outfit? What if he does? This was a bad idea, I should have stayed in bed, I should have locked my door and never let Rowan in, I should have never gone out hunting last night, if I had just stayed in bed this wouldn't even be an issue! Kestrel thought and took one more breath before opening the door to the meeting room.

She had a feeling that all eyes were on her, she couldn't blame them really, she turned up late, and looking nicer then she ever had in her life, but at that moment all she could seem to keep her eyes on were intense grey ones that looked old and sad. Hugh.

Kestrel felt as though her breathing had stopped, her heart pounded, and Kestrel couldn't look away, now it seemed as though just being in the same room as him made her senses dim to everything but him, she could feel only Hugh, and only see him as well. She could feel his warmth and love towards her, she could feel the kindness and loneliness, along with a sense of longing for her. And she was shocked to realize she loved him back.

"Kes, come sit, we were just talking about that pack of wolves" it was Jade who broke the moment. She was sitting in her chair beside her soul mate Mark, her cat tiggy purring in her lap, she had that innocent smile that she always had, but Kestrel still felt like smacking her. Jade didn't know what she just ruined, but Kestrel was now back in her usual state of alertness and ready for a fight. Kestrel looked down trying to compose herself as she walked down to her chair, she sat down in-between Rowan and Jade, and diagonal from Hugh, with Ash across from her. She could feel Hugh's steady gaze on her Goddess, doesn't he ever get embarrassed with just staring at some girl? He isn't even attempting to hide his staring! Does he ever blink? With the way he stares you'd think he had never seen a girl before.

As soon as she thought it, Hugh dropped his gaze. Had he read my mind again? Kestrel looked up at him and narrowed her eyes, but quickly received a jab in the side from Rowan, forcing Kestrel to tune into the conversation around her.

"Well, I can't go, I would need to bring tiggy, and he's not comfortable around dogs, or watching other animal's get eaten…" Jade was saying and Kestrel couldn't resist herself. She smirked and glanced down at tiggy.

"Maybe it's because he knows he's next." Kestrel said and let her fangs show as she grinned at tiggy, Tiggy seemed to understand her every word and hissed at her then turned around so Kestrel couldn't see his face.

"Don't say that Kestrel! She didn't mean it tiggy!" Jade squealed and Mark glared viciously at Kestrel, Mark and Kestrel had never quiet gotten along, Mark's favorite thing in the world to do was to protect Jade and make her happy, Kestrel's had always been to tease and pick at her sisters and even Ash sometimes.

"Kestrel, were talking about sending a team of six down to a rather large pack of werewolves, not to fight, but to talk, to the pack leader, they haven't attacked any big portions of populations, other then excessive animal hunting, we don't know what their views on humans are, that's why we want to send a team down, not to fight, just watch them, monitor, it's in Texas, if they seem okay, we want for the team to talk to the leader, try to talk him into joining circle daybreak, if they seem…off, to put it lightly, we need them to be taken down. We can't risk such a strong pack joining up with the vampires, or stay around killing because eventually they might start on humans. It will be plenty dangerous. Werewolves are protective of their land, if your seen watching them or hunting on their land, or even just passing through, they will not hesitate to attack. I think humans get a pass from them because they don't know, but if they sense vampire or any other species around it will blow everything." it was Lady Hannah who explained this all to Kestrel, everyone was silent as she did. Thierry held one of Hannah's hands in his own, but he looked serious as he looked around, and then it came to Kestrel. Hugh couldn't fight, and he couldn't be silent when walking or running, he couldn't go. If she went, they would be apart, and maybe she would be able to squash her feelings for him in the time apart.

Kestrel jumped up from her seat almost at once. "I want to go!" she said a little to frantically, everyone turned to look at her, including Hugh, who's eyes had grown distant, his jaw set. Had she made him mad? Kestrel wondered, then pursed her lips, it was good he was mind, if he's mad he wont love me. Kestrel thought to herself. Hugh looked like he was about to say something but Thierry was talking.

"I don't see why not, Hannah? Hugh, Aradia? Any input?" He asked looking around, Hannah smiled.

"I believe it would be a good first mission, but not everyone can be first timers, we'll have to pick the rest of the team carefully" Hannah said, Aradia only nodded, they all turned to Hugh, who seemed to have completely lose himself, but he blinked and looked around then took a deep breath.

"I want Rashel and Quinn to go with her. I also want Jez, Morgead, and since Keller is currently unavailable, Ash." that was what Hugh said. That was all Hugh said. He stood up and left, his head high, but his jaw set, and his eyes distant. Kestrel sat back down, her heart felt like it had sank down into her butt, suddenly she wasn't so excited to go she wanted to follow Hugh, to comfort him and tell him she would never leave him, but she had to, she had to make him see she couldn't love anyone and he shouldn't love her. she looked down at my hands in my lap, Ash kicked her shin, not hard, but enough to make her look up at him.

'you can't run from him. Believe me, I tried. It doesn't work like that.' Ash's voice sounded in her head. Kestrel stared at him. So he knew. How long had he known? It didn't matter, Ash was just screwing with her, she would find a way to break the connection, she didn't want this, and neither did Hugh, Hugh only thought he did.

"Okay well it looks like we have our team, though I don't know how I feel about Jez going…she's a wild power, if you guys get caught, not only will she die, but-" Thierry tried to say but Jez was quick to interrupt him.

"I am going Thierry. I need to stay in touch with my skill, those dummies in the training room just wont cut it, I mean, no matter how many times Morgy tries to beat me, I still need competition" Jez said with a grin, and Morgead's face flushed with fury.

"I let you win Jezebel" Morgead said through his teeth, Jez turned to hit him but Morgead was fast, he caught her wrist and smirked at Jez. Jez yanked her wrist away and stared ar Morgead through narrowed eyes before returning to look at Thierry.

"plus it sounds like Hugh really needs me to be there, you know he wouldn't send me out unless he absolutely had to. Clearly he thinks the team will need my power or extra protection" Quinn snorted at this and even Rashel rolled her eyes.

"Like we would ever even get close to needing help. We could do this mission in our sleep." it was Quinn who spoke and Morgead glared.

"Yah right, you could never out do Jez and I, the two of you will be begging to go home before we even see some action" Morgead spat back at Quinn. Quinn and Morgead stood up at the exact same time as if to jump at each other and try and claw the other's throat back. Kestrel looked between them, she wasn't sure who would win, Morgead was a lot bigger then Quinn, but Quinn's reputation made him to be fiercer then almost any other vampire. It was Ash who stood up to stop this.

"Wait, that isn't why Hugh wants Jez to go. He knows you can all take care of yourselves, but it's Kestrel. She's his soul mate." Ash said and sat back down, Kestrel could feel heat rising to her cheeks as everyone stared at her. Kestrel glared at Ash, and then she stood up, she didn't want everyone to know, she herself didn't even want to know, and now it was out. Kestrel walked as calmly and silently as she could to the door and disappeared out it. As soon as she had shut the door behind her she broke out in a run to get back up to her room, she would refuse to come out until the second she had to leave with the team.

Kestrel locked her door and yanked her hair out of the bun, she stripped her clothes and replaced them with sweat pants, a big t-shirt, and socks, then she wiped off her makeup then jumped in bed and curled in a ball. Her heart hurt and all she wanted was to both see Hugh and never see him. The choice was lifted off her shoulders when there was a soft knock at her door.

"Go away!" she called but the lock on the door turned and in came Hugh anyway. He had a key. Damn you Thierry. Kestrel pulled the blankets over her head and turned her back to him, she couldn't let him see her upset. She felt the bed go down a little bit beside her, and even through all the blankets she could feel Hugh's warmth and love radiating off him like a warm heater placed right beside her, meaning he had sat down on the bed.

"Kestrel, please, don't do this." it was the first time Kestrel had ever heard him sound vulnerable, Hugh while sweet always seemed so confident and sure. She felt Hugh put a hand on where her shoulder was under the blankets and rubbed it a little, and before she could think about it her body seemed to have a mind of it's own and suddenly she was turned around, out of the covers, her head pushed against Hugh's chest, and she threw her arms around Hugh's body, Hugh wrapped an arm around her back and used the other to cradle her head against his chest.

'I love you Kestrel, I really do. Please don't run from me, don't hide, you don't need to hide from me, I know you want to be with me, but I wont make you. I will never make you do anything you don't want to do, but you want this, I can feel it.' Hugh's voice was in her mind again, and this time she let it stay, she could feel his mind wrapping itself around hers, both his mind and body putting her in a safe cocoon, filling her with every ounce of his love, she could feel his mind breaking through her mental walls, and she couldn't stop it, and linking their minds, was a silver cord, thick and bright.

'you can't love me Hugh! Don't you see? I'm not good for you. If you knew …me…you would know you deserve so much better…' Kestrel replied and only realized then that Hugh had managed to break down her walls and was exploring her mind, going through her secrets and past.

He saw her being canned by her father for being sweet to a werewolf

He saw her talking her sisters into trying to lure a human that wasn't in a trance into the village for them to feed on

He saw her kill another vampire as a child for stealing her favorite doll

He saw her being compared to Rowan and Jade, and hurting so much she could hardly stand it whenever people talked highly of them but all they could say about her was "she's the mean one" but never showing emotion to it, keeping it all in

He saw her never crying over death or tragedy

He saw her being beaten from doing wrong

He saw her falling head over heels over a werewolf boy

He saw her father torturing the boy to death right in front of Kestrel, teaching her werewolves were second class and bad, while she watched, showing no emotion, or expression of concern

He saw her start out as a happy baby, always trying to do things alone, to a malicious, sarcastic teenager with the philosophy of "Kill or be killed" and taking it to heart, murdering every night person who ever did her wrong.

Then he saw how her love for him was so intense it hurt, he saw she was afraid of hurting him, of him leaving, of wanting to stay away so she wont be hurt, or scared, or confused, so she could go back to being the fierce cold girl she was.

Kestrel had not meant for him to see any of this, but no matter how much she tried to push his mind away, she couldn't.

'you'll never hurt, or ache, or be alone again. I wont let you. All that I've seen, I know how your hurt, I know how strong you have always needed to be, to protect yourself, to protect other, you don't need to be strong around me Kestrel. I love you, I can be strong for you.'

And those were the words she had been waiting all her life to here. "I'll be strong for you" he had said. She didn't know that's what she wanted or needed, to not be strong for once, but now that it was an option, she couldn't bring herself to push it away any longer, Hugh had seen everything about her, all her bad deeds, all her killings, all that had ever upset her, and every time she had desperately wanted to pull her hair out, kick, scream, and cry, but remained silent with her emotions blocked, and he still loved her.

'Hugh I love you.' it was the first time she had ever said it, even admitted it, but it was out now. And before she knew it Hugh was yanking her up in his arms and kissing her in a sweet yet fierce and desperate way, Kestrel kissed back and held onto Hugh as though she would never see him again. And while they were kissing she explored through Hugh's mind.

She saw him as a boy, she watched as a small happy, scrawny boy laughed and played with his sisters, while his father started a fire, and his mother took pictures. The little boy had fair skin and grey knowing eyes, he seemed to talk and know things that he shouldn't, and every time he mentioned something he shouldn't even know how to pronounce or just know about something, his sisters would exchange a look but would smile and laugh it off, his sisters were beautiful, one as blond as him and very tall but had sun kissed skin and hazel, the other a brunette with fair skin and dark eyes, but fairly smaller then the other girl, the father was a big man with dark hair and dark eyes and a tan, the mother a small dainty women with blond hair and grey eyes like Hugh's, and fair skin again like Hugh's, it was a perfect family scene, and they soon sat down to eat dinner, all bowing their heads in a prayer, and that's when there was a howl, the family looked up and looked around, the father had grabbed his grill fork and was looking around, scanning the area, the mother was silently herding her children to the family car, probably assuming it was just a mountain wolf, and they could wait it out in the car. And that's when it happened. Several rogue werewolves jumped out of the tree's and snarled looking at the family, the father tried to stab one with the grill fork, another hit the father over the head, making the father fall the ground unconscious, Hugh's mother screamed and shoved her kids into the car then slammed the door shut, her last action to protect them before a werewolf dug it's claw's in her back and dragged them down, the mother screaming the whole time, falling to the ground in pain only to have her throat cut by a claw causing her immediate death, the last and biggest werewolf tried to open the door, but his claws made it difficult so finally he gave up and smashed the window. Hugh's sisters screamed, but he stayed silent, Hugh's sisters wrapped their arms around him and each other, screaming and crying and telling each other they loved each other. The large werewolf grabbed the tall sister by her blonde hair and dragged her out the window and tossed her to the others, then grabbed the second sister, his second sister put up a fight and, boxing him in the nose and clawing his eye before the wolf decided to bang her head against the ceiling of the car knocking her unconscious and also leaving her bleeding from the head while he pulled her out, ripping a gleaming silver cross from her neck and throwing it in the dirt. He dragged the girl to the others and smiled at his three companions. "Dinner is served!" he called but one cocked his head to the side.

"What about that last one?" he was small for a wolf, but his teeth made his words distorted enough for him to be scary.

"He's to small, not more then a mouth full, besides we don't have much time left, the dame's screaming is sure to bring up rangers soon." the big one replied and the small wolf grabbed Hugh's mother, another that had jet black hair grabbed his father, one with light brown hair, grabbed the brunet sister, and the last and largest got the blonde sister, who was still conscious, and was sobbing and begging them to leave her alone. And then the werewolves began to eat, the blonde sister shrieking ear splitting, spine chilling, blood curdling screams while Hugh silently got out of the car, picked up his sisters cross from the dirt, he had remembered killing a werewolf in a past life with silver. He edged toward the black haired one that grabbed his father -it was the closest one- and stabbed the cross into it's back, the wolf was up and howling in pain. The others looked up, and one lunged for Hugh, Hugh tried to run but it caught his leg and chomped down on it, Hugh didn't scream, he didn't cry, he was accepting his death when the park rangers jeep rolled up to the camp site, and the werewolves all ran into the woods. Hugh looked around at his family, his mother, her insides were strewn all around her body, she was hardly recognizable, his father's heart was gone, his brunet sister's liver was shredded, her heart on the ground beside her, his blonde sister was still struggling to breath, tears streaming down her face. Hugh crawled to her side and grabbed her hand. "Amber… mommy, daddy, and Carry are dead, Amber, are you hurting?" Hugh asked through tears, he may have seen hundreds of deaths in his time, but no matter how many he had seen, if it was someone he loved dearly, it still hurt.

"I don't feel much Hughy…I love you, don't let it beat you." the one called Amber said, she lifted her hand, stroked his cheek, and just like that, her face froze, her breathing stopped, and her hand fell. Amber was dead.

After Kestrel saw that memory, others were racing into her mind, Hugh as a five year old, trying to explain to the other kids what reincarnation is, Hugh as an eight year old, and making friends with a lamia boy, Hugh as a ten year old knocking out the lamia boy who had tried to kill him, Hugh as a twelve year old and finding a member of circle daybreak at last, Hugh as a thirteen year old and training as hard as he could with a limp leg, learning how to kill bad night creatures and learning all he could about the night world till he was as much an expert as the brightest night person, Hugh as a fourteen year old and comforting young girl who had just lost her family to a vampire attack, Hugh as fifteen and saving a lost witch from a shifter, Hugh as sixteen and meeting Jez, she soon become the most important person in his life, and him willing to risk all he had learned about growing attached to people in his past lives to be with her,

Hugh as Seventeen…walking into Thierry's mansion in the middle of the night, limping up to the second floor, walking down the hall to the second set of stairs, feeling someone following him, but assuming it was one of the other residents going up to the roof to look at the stars or something, going up the second set up stairs and almost to his room when a strong pull to something, he turned around and there she was, Kestrel. Through Hugh's eyes Kestrel was the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on, her golden waves of hair seeming to glow in the dim light, her night gown fitting perfectly on her, her skin fresh and perfect, her face more beautiful then any angel could ever have, her golden eyes are what really caught him, they told him everything about her, he saw a fierce warrior, a strong independent soul who couldn't be made to do anything she wasn't willing to, stubborn, and beautiful, but he saw through her exterior, he saw how young and vulnerable she could feel, and how protective she was of her family, and also what sweetness and love she could give if given the chance. In his eyes she was perfection, no one could hold a candle to her beauty, he didn't see the savage, selfish, uncaring animal of a female everyone else saw. That moment they had met in the hallway when she tried to stab him, he had fallen deeply in love with her, before he even knew she was his soul mate.

'Hugh…I didn't know… all you have been through… I've been selfish, I only thought about what I wanted to stay hidden, with everything bad that happened to me, I let it harden me, but Hugh, you're stronger then I have ever been, or ever will be, you watched your family slaughtered, you never breathed a word of it until you met circle day break, even in your past lives, all those horrible memories, and you were still able to love, and be nice, and know who you are.' Kestrel thought to him, and gently began to pull back from their kiss to look at Hugh, but he refused to let her go, he broke apart for one breath then pulled Kestrel back to him and continued their kiss.

'Kestrel don't think that. You're the strongest person I have ever met. You need to understand that people show their strength in different ways, and deal with pain in different ways from others. Kestrel you know how different the two of us are, but when it comes down to it, we've both been hurt, and lost before, but what happened was we learned to deal with it differently, you saw what happened to my family, after they were killed I was put in foster homes, everyone there was so…cold, it was like they had all lost the will to live, and after all the lives I lived I knew that wasn't right, I learned to talk to people, to help them, and just be the friend they needed. You though, you grew up in a cold world, that occasional had love in the forms of your sisters, Rowan, the guidance, Jade the innocence, you have given them more then you can ever imagine, when Jade cried over losing a cat, Rowan held her, and comforted her, and you stood tall, telling her there were other cats, and remained level headed, and when Rowan was planning to runaway with a werewolf, Jade was all for it, happy Rowan would leave the village finally, but sobbing because she would miss Rowan, and you Kestrel, realized what they didn't, you saw that your father would send Ash after Rowan if you left, you knew Ash would kill you and the wolf if she left, you convinced Rowan to stay, what I'm trying to say here is that, even when your sisters and everyone else think your being cold at the time, even you may think that's how it is, but underneath, your protecting them, you remain level headed and see reason when no one else can. When everyone else is crying and confused, you hold your tears, and find a way to protect who you love. That is pure strength.' Hugh explained to Kestrel, stroking her hair, and holding her close.

Kestrel pulled away from him and buried her head in the crook of Hugh's neck and done something she had not done since she was a baby. She cried. She let out all the years of sadness and loneliness and longing for happiness right there. She sobbed and tried to stop but found that she couldn't. Hugh held her the whole time, whispering that he loved her, and she would never have to hold it in, or be alone again, whispering he would do everything in his power to make her happy and keep her safe, whispering she would never have to hide again.