Disclaimer:

This is a Suikoden II fan-fiction. I don't own Seed (but he can own me), Culgan, Highland, or any of that Suikoden stuff, nor do I own the lullaby, Baby Mine. Listen to the version by Allison Krauss!

Turning Back

by Billie

Chapter 1

Waking with a start, Seed sat up in bed, brushing a bead of sweat from his brow. "Urrgh…" he grunted and looked around the tent to surmise the time, feeling as though he'd hardly slept at all. Seed didn't worry about waking Culgan, the only person he shared the tent with. Culgan slept like a rock.

Mother…

A twinge of self-reproach distressed him as he heard his mother's silent voice in his head.

Why couldn't she leave…

While slowly lying back down in his bed, he felt the algid air prowl onto his damp skin, giving him a brief cold sweat. He pulled the sheets over his body, closed his eyes, and let out a long, shaky sigh. "Baby mine, don't you cry… Baby mine, dry your eyes…" Recalling the melody and voice of his mother singing the comforting song he'd adored as a child sent a shiver up his spine. Vexed, Seed threw the sheets off of his body and stumbled through the darkness until he found the tent flaps. Tempted to go outside and strike up a conversation with one of the guards, Seed sat down by the tent door, holding it slightly ajar for a breath of fresh air.

Highland was losing the war. Many men believed it was the death of Luca Blight that brought their misfortune but failed to realize how insane and disgraceful to Highland he really was. Sometimes Seed felt responsible for what was happening to the country, but it was out of his control.

Seed and Culgan both pledged their loyalty to Jowy because his dreams and goals for Highland were the same as theirs. He'd wanted a peaceful country where kids wouldn't be the orphans of murdered parents. Luca didn't care about his country; he only lusted for death and destruction. Still, others believed their new king, Jowy Atreides, who married the last surviving heir to the throne, Jillia, and adopted the family royal name, failed them when he squandered their best chance of killing Riou, the leader of the Jowston army, when they met at Jowston Hill in Muse. Some were losing faith in the Ruler and the Guardian while others were just beginning to put their faith forward.

Anger, sorrow, hope, and fear all loomed in the darkness those somber nights, but most of all there was pride. Highland was beautiful and derived from the powerful country of Harmonia. Even though Highland was not all that large, She was just as strong or more so than other countries twice Her size. A lot of soldiers would have been happy if a treaty was signed at Jowston Hill, but more soldiers still wanted justice. Men were seeking vengeance for the children of the Unicorn Brigade who were massacred just after the cease-fire was signed. Everyone but Riou and Jowy were still oblivious to Luca's and Rowd's treachery. These men who sought justice had become beasts themselves. They were unshakable. They fought for months; time was lost to them, because they wanted to be victorious. Only now Highland was fighting more to survive than for revenge.

We can't lose Her.

Trees of the richest green, the azure blue that dominated the sky, the mellifluous sound of the streams racing through Highland, but most of all the melancholic howls of the wolves were attributes only Highland could ever have. Like the wolves, the Beast rune found its way to Highland and adopted the land as its own.

They'll attack us again soon now that they're confident…Damn.

Leon failed the Highland army by being lured into a trap. The Jowston Army was in Highland territory when they set the forest ablaze, chasing the army further from the Highland-Jowston border. Shu was well prepared, as usual, and Leon was astounded.

"We're moving again in an hour."

Seed was in such a daze that he hadn't noticed Leon step in front of the tent to speak to him.

"Seed."

"In an hour," he confirmed, so Leon would leave him alone.

"Get some rest."

"……"

Sensing Seed's despair, Leon added, "Don't forget what we have on our side."

Seed looked up at Leon and nodded to him before he walked away. Remembering the golden wolves that ran rampant through Muse, Seed felt uneasy. The Beast Rune… it was the Guardian of Highland, but it was like a demon.

It wasn't hard to keep his mind on the war at hand, but it was hard not to think of his mother at the same time. Seed found himself biting back tears at both thoughts and under his breath cursed Culgan for always being right, in this case, about his strong emotions and lack of control of them. He let the tent flap fall into place and the darkness envelop him as he made his way back to his cot. The harder he tried to forget his memories, especially those of his mother, the worse he felt inside, but eventually, he fell asleep.

A/N: Yeah, this is a short chapter. I wrote this story a long time ago (like 5 years ago), and it was 6 chapters long. I never posted it because I didn't like it enough. So, I'm changing it up a bit and it will probably be about half as long as the original. I hope it's still enjoyable though. Most of it is sort of angsty (I know, I know, that's no fun) but honestly, how would you feel if your country was about to lose a war? Anyway, I'm really hoping I can use this story as practice for writing something original. Also, I know that the references to Seed's mother might seem a bit out of place, but the original first chapter was some 13 pages long and it made a lot of sense then. However, I want to incorporate bits and pieces of my original first chapter into the new chapter 3, so it might make a little more sense later on. Thanks for reading! (Be gentle.)