Title: All that I am
Rating: R for sex but not explicit.
Genre: LoVe
Spoilers: none
Summary: When Veronica leaves for her New York vaycay after grad, her plans change for the seriously better.
Disclaimer: Like all of the other characters I write about, these are not mine, nor were they ever. I make no profits, other than the rewards of imagination stretched.
Feedback: This is my first VM-fic, please send me feedback :)
All That I Am
By xenoprobe
I tried. I really tried. But when I watched her walk away towards the boarding gate at the airport, I knew I couldn't live without her for a whole week. A week – without being able to touch her skin and watch her breathe when she's asleep… it's all too much and maybe I'm in way over my head.
I turned around and went to the ticketing counter and bought me a shiny new ticket to New York – Veronica Mars, here I come.
How could I have known that her father had already called her cell to inform her that he couldn't make the trip after all, something about a ship coming in? And there was no way in hell I was leaving my girl in New York City, alone, for a week, not a chance in hell.
xxx
"Hello?" Sometimes just her voice overwhelmed me.
"Hi Veronica." I tried my best low cool tones; just a vain attempt to disguise my desperation.
"Hay you! Whatchya up to?" She was sunshine and cookie dough and starry skies all rolled into my girlfriend. My. Girlfriend. I still couldn't quite wrap my head around it all.
"Looking at a pretty blonde actually. Reminds me a lot of someone I know." I smirked for added confidence.
"Oh really?" She drew out the 'ea' part. "She reminds you of someone huh? Well what does she look like?"
"Well, she's blonde, like I said, and she's really hot; petite, cute, brainy like nobody's business." Veronica chuffed a little giggle into her cell phone.
"Brainy? Now how can you tell she's brainy just by looking at her?"
"I can just tell – I can pick out the brainy ones. Besides, she's reading while she's talking on her cell phone, probably talking to her boyfriend." There it is, that's my baby- I could see her shoulders freeze. "That, and she's dressed smart too. Little braids in her hair, jeans, and she has something on her t-shirt, can't quite make it out from this vantage."
"I think you need to get closer then." Her voice was steady but devoid of any humour.
"Maybe I should. Maybe I need to just walk over and introduce myself to this mystery beauty. But that might make you jealous; I know how jealous you can be." Taunt, taunt, taunt.
"Oh I think I will survive. This is epic right, gotta deal with the little things." I could see her looking around, but trying very hard not to look like it.
"Well, I'm gonna make my move." I stepped out into the busy New York traffic and made my way across the street towards the out door café at the foot of her hotel. God she's amazing; takes my breath away just looking at her. "I wonder?"
"You wonder what?" the bounce in her words made me want her that much more.
"I wonder if just walked up to her and planted my lips on hers and bent her back over her little table… I wonder if she'd slap me."
"Wow- you're really hot for this blonde brainy chick!"
"Veronica, you have no clue, do you?"
"I have some clue." She stood up and turned towards me - only ten feet away on the sidewalk. "I am, after all, a brainy blonde." That smile; I could swear sometimes it was just for me alone.
"I love you Veronica Mars."
I flipped my cell closed and she met me at the rail of the café gate in two mesmerizing steps. My hands were already out to her, caressing up one side of her perfect face, running down the simple line of her spine. I kissed her. I pressed my lips to hers and willed myself into her. You need to know this Veronica. You need to know this is me and that I love you and I have never loved anything or anyone like this.
Her mouth was sweet and full and her tongue tasted like strawberries and I bent her back, using my height to swallow her frame to mine. Her hands were raking over my scalp, sending electric shocks through me in ways that defied reality. Her body was glued to mine, like breaking away would mean death or something worse. And that's when I noticed her cheeks were wet. I broke the kiss and looked at her; her swollen lips, the slight pant, the honesty in her eyes. My knees nearly buckled.
"You came." Her whisper was fact.
"How could I not?"
I took her face in my palms and kissed her mouth, her eyes, her hairline, her chin, cheeks, neck nose. More.
"Logan."
"Yes baby."
"Room 1013."
And I pulled back enough to bend down and heft her into my arms. I cradled her light frame to me and her arms never left my neck as I walked us through the throng of guests in the lobby of the W hotel. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed.
She slid down my body in the elevator and the sweet pain of it was almost my undoing, I just wanted to touch her, everywhere. I kissed her back against the mirror and caught the reflection of an infinite number of Logans and Veronicas in the elevator with us… they were all perfect. No words could even dare capture the desperation in our kisses.
We kissed our way to her room and when the door closed behind us, she was already working me out of my shirt, running her nails over my chest, scraping them around my back and claiming me with the marks left in her wake. She kissed my neck, kissed my chest, kissed my stomach and part of me really wanted to let her keep going but this was not one of those moments. This was something way more important.
"Veronica." I breathed her name as I pulled her back up to my kiss. "Stand still."
She did just that. She stood still, in the low light by the bed and closed her eyes. I unbuttoned her jeans and eased the t-shirt over her head. Then I ran my palms over her skin. Her flesh was warm and soft and more perfect than any other memory of it. I unhooked her bra and let it fall to the floor at our feet. She didn't move to cover herself and I smiled, even though I knew she wasn't looking. I pushed her jeans down and she stepped free of them at her ankles. In her panties and nothing else she looked almost too innocent to continue but I was speechless, standing there shaking my head in utter awe of her.
One eye peeked open and she caught me looking at her like she was a porterhouse steak.
"Take your clothes off Logan."
Her wish was my command as she stepped from her last undergarment. Before long, we stood, nose to nose, naked and so raw to each other. My hands roamed her soft curves and delicate surfaces but all I could see, all I could think about was her eyes. I don't need anything more in this life. I can die happy now.
I had to break the stare to pull back the sheets and as we climbed into each others arms I was overcome and started to tear. She caught me immediately and her concerned but understanding look appeared as she thumbed a stray drop from my face. I grabbed her wrist and sucked the salty evidence from her finger and her eyes fluttered shut. I pressed her back into the pillows and braced my hands on either side of her face. I took the little elastics from her braids and ran my fingers through her silky hair until it was all around us like a golden halo as I entered her.
I pushed into her, and her hands met my face. She brought my mouth to hers and as I sank deeper and deeper into her depths, out mouths mimicked the act and I was forced to lay my full weight on her. She welcomed it and wrapped her arms around me, clutching and we gasped our confessions into each other's open mouths.
"Oh God."
"Love you… I love you."
"So much."
"You don't know."
"I do."
"I really really do."
"Oh God…"
"Veronica… Veronica…"
"All that I am."
"Love."
"Don't' stop."
"Don't ever let go."
"I love you."
xxx
The stars outside cast a strange light into the hotel room. Her head rested on my chest and rose and fell as we breathed together. My heart still raced; from making love to her, from loving her.
She pushed up on one elbow and looked at me curiously.
"I can't believe you just screwed that blonde you were following?!" She swatted at me playfully and I caught her hand in mine, clutching.
"If I could make a living at it, this would be my career of choice."
"What's that?"
"Loving you." I smiled but there was no hiding the seriousness of my meaning.
She kissed me, and reached for the remote with one hand. Without looking at the TV on the opposite side of the room, she pressed a few buttons before the sound of song filled the room.
We'll do it all We don't need If I lay here I don't quite know Those three words If I lay here Forget what we're told Let's waste time I need your grace If I lay here Forget what we're told All that I am I don't know where If I lay here
Everything
On our own
Anything
Or anyone
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
How to say
How I feel
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Chasing cars
Around our heads
To remind me
To find my own
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
How was it that she could make a perfect moment even more perfect?
She rolled me back onto her and I kissed the tears in her hair at the temples.
"I do get it Logan. I know." And I believed her.
I believed that she knew that I love her, with all that I am, all that I will be.
fin