Mark Twain Quotes
Summary: (AU)"And no, I'm not done yet. I have yet another quote for you by Mark Twain." Harry's speech to get Fudge kicked out of office once Sirius is freed at the end of his fourth year.
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Gotten from www(dot)quotationspage(dot)com:
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.
All quotes are by Mark Twain
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Harry woke up not ten minutes ago. He had come back from the graveyard with Cedric's body and, surprisingly, Peter Pettigrew (Apparently he had landed on Pettigrew in rat form, when he ran to Cedric's body). Pettigrew was given an immediate trial, as was Sirius. Now Fudge was giving a press conference about Sirius' innocence. Harry had arrived just in time to hear the end of Fudge's speech. He was about to end the conference when Harry stood up.
"If it's alright with you Minister," he said, "I have something to stay."
"Of course, Mr. Potter," Fudge said, smiling, obviously thinking Harry was going to say something good about him. Obviously, he was wrong. The reporters all perked up; to them a speech from the Boy-Who-Lived was worth more than a speech from the Minister of Magic.
As Harry began to speak, Fudge got paler and paler with every word.
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"'It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.'," Harry started off, "That's a quote by Mark Twain. And three weeks was the amount of time Fudge took to prepare that speech. After all, it was the day of the final task, when he was presented with Peter Pettigrew. And a year before that, I had evidence to prove that Sirius was innocent. It took him a month to try Pettigrew, another two weeks to try Sirius. And it's been three weeks since then. If the trial that proved his innocence was three weeks ago, then why is he only being freed now.
"'I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.' is another quote by Mark Twain. Fudge said he couldn't lie to you. I can, but I won't. And Fudge did lie to you, by saying that they freed Sirius as quickly as possible. It may have taken three weeks after Pettigrew's trial, but not three weeks after his. Come to think of it, I don't know why they tried Sirius in the first place.
"'Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.' is yet another quote by Mark Twain. I have my own version of this ladies and gentleman. 'Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were Fudge. And I'm repeating my self.' (People laughed) Fudge is the worst person to have in the position of Minister. I see him freeing Sirius and jailing Pettigrew and giving hi condolences to Mr. and Mrs. Diggory. But there is something he left out. A piece of information that is more important than the other three put together, as much as I hate to say it. Voldemort is back. It was on his very orders that Pettigrew killed Cedric. (Harry now had tears streaming down his face.) I personally dueled with him. Our wands, being brother wands, could not fight against each other. Through the effect of us trying to use the wands against each other, I saw several spirits.
"I saw the spirit of Cedric Diggory. He asked me to bring his body back to his parents and to tell his parents that he loved them.
"I saw the two spirits of people I have never met, who told me to do my best against the one who killed them.
"And I saw the spirits of my parents. They told me they were proud of me and that they loved me. And that they wanted me to keep fighting until the end. It's my parents that told me to go to Cedric's body and summon the portkey, the Triwizard Cup, to me. So I did, and to my luck, Pettigrew was in his animagus form and touching Cedric's body when the portkey was activated.
"'Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.' is another quote by Mark Twain. I did a little digging in the time during the trials. It seems that the only reason Sirius didn't have a trial in the first place is that Fudge was paid to keep him from having one. He was paid by one Lucius Malfoy. (all present turned to glare at said Malfoy who paled and apparated away)
"'It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.' is yet another quote by Mark Twain. He seems to have a lot of them. Do you really believe that this man deserves the honor of being your Minister and protector? This man, who would turn a blind eye to anything just for a little money in his back pocket.
"And to those of you who believe in Pureblood Supremacy. Take a good look at the quotes I gave you. Mark Twain captured the truth of the Human race quite well, don't you think? And yet, he was a mere muggle. And no, I'm not done yet. I have yet another quote for you by Mark Twain.
"'Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.' Voldemort will inflict pain for pleasure. He will kill for pleasure. And he will torture for pleasure. If he wins, no one will survive, not even his Death Eaters, or the werewolves or vampires or anyone else who sides with him. Because he doesn't like to share. And he will not share. We have to step up against Voldemort, before he can step up against us.
"I heard several names, the night he kidnapped me. He, stupidly, addressed his Death Eaters by name. Malfoy. Crabbe. Goyle. Avery. Nott. I know for a fact that the Malfoy he was talking about was Lucius Malfoy, for I have come in contact with the elder Malfoy before, and his voice is still the same as it was then, and the same as it was that night.
"I hope that you can gather courage and strength to fight Voldemort. As were going to need everyone and anyone we can get. I also hope those at the Ministry stop taking bribes and start checking for the Dark Mark. Because of me, Voldemort didn't win the last war. And I intend to make sure he doesn't win this one. I just hope I don't have to do it alone."
Harry stepped down from the podium, and he and Sirius (both crying) went back to Hogwarts.
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The next day, every newspaper in the wizarding world (including those in foreign countries) had Harry's speech in them. Two days later Amelia Bones was sworn in as Minister of Magic.
But only because Harry Potter wouldn't take office.
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End
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You know, I almost started crying when I got to the part about Harry's parents. And of course he wouldn't take office. He was, what…fourteen? Even if he is the protector of the wizarding world and their savior. Stupid wizarding folk.