Disclaimer: I own none of the characters from Durarara! and I am only borrowing them for a bit. This is a silly, drabble based fanfic and should not at all be taken seriously. Also, don't sure me, as I'm broke. Pretty much.
Durarara!
Five Secrets of Ikebukuro's Dollars!
One: The Dollars Love Yaoi!
"We do not!" Mikado Ryugamine tried protesting, but his protests were useless.
Erika Karisawa just ignored that, the energetic girl continuing, "Of course we love yaoi! The passionate fire of two boy's gazes, locked in passion!" She sighed to herself happily as she added, "What could be better?"
Walker Yumasaki asked curiously, "But which Dollars do we ship?"
"Shizuo and Izaya of course!" Erika exclaimed, holding up a homemade dojin with both men in a passionate embrace on the cover.
Mikado looked vaguely disturbed at that image. "Don't let Shizuo see that," he advised her seriously, "he'll freak."
Two: The Dollars Love Russian Sushi!
"What..." Mikado blinked.
"Russian Sushi! Is good!" the large black man said, looking rather absurd in his usual sushi selling outfit.
"Simon, did you really have to slip a ad in this fanfic?" Mikado asked tiredly.
Simon Brezhnev gave him a look as if he was a idiot. "Of course I did." he said calmly.
"Who let him in here?" Mikado asked the others wearilly.
"Sorry," Anri shrugged helplessly as she explained, "he gave me that puppy dog eyes look and I just couldn't resist."
Three: The Dollars Love the World!
"I love the world and everyone in it!" Izaya Orihara declared, spreading his arms exaggeratedly as his usual fur lined coat swirled around him.
"Izaya!" Shizuo Heiwajima yelled angrily, the blond haired man ripping up a traffic sign and charhing.
"Except for him," Izaya admitted, running off.
"Well, that was pointless," Mikado sighed.
Erika, meanwhile, was fangirling happily. "They're so CUTE together!" she squealed, bouncing in place.
Mikado looked at her blankly a moment. "You don't look at the world the same way we do, do you?" he sighed.
Four: The Dollars Welcome Everyone!
"I suppose that IS true," Mikado conceded. Though admittedly that was mostly because of Izaya handing out the group's website and passwords to all and sundry.
Celty's fingers flew over her mini-notebook. "I was happy to join as well," she noted.
"I rather like being in the Dollars," her boyfriend Shinra noted as well, the shorter man standing beside her.
"Hey, Mira! It looks like we've ended up at another Dollars meeting," Isaac Dian noted, having accidentally wandered over from Baccano.
Mira Harvent smiled cheerfully, "Maybe this will be as fun as our last appearance!"
Mikado sighed as he muttered, "I hate scene stealing characters."
Five: The Dollars Love Yuri!
"We WHAT?" Mikado yelped.
"I'm okay with that," Shinra noted.
Celty poked him in the side. "I've seen your hentai collection, too. You had better not be thinking of...," she warned threateningly.
"Of course not, my love," Shinra explained to her quickly, "any yuri would involve you and a willing volunteer."
"That's...," Celty's fingers hesitated a moment, "that could be interesting."
Mikado shook his head, "Do we even have anyone yuri in the Dollars?"
"Ahem," Erika coughed while Anri blushed.
"Dayam..." Walker drawled.
"Wow," Mikado blinked, "I didn't realize you two were..."
Erika beamed proudly as she stepped behind Anri and squeezed her breasts. "Aiee!" Anri squealed.
"Look at this great rack!" Erika exclaimed cheerfully, "Who wouldn't go yuri over that?"
"Oooh," Anri moaned as her nipples were pinched.
"Fade to black! Fade to black!" Mikado yelled, "If they go much farther we'll lose our PG rating!"
The End?
Notes: Just a short piece on Durarara! for the Anri/Erika facebook page. Basically pointless but amusing, hopefully.