So…I watch Loud House. I might say, it's pretty damn good show I've seen so far. Thinking about that girl Lynn made me think about Dave Strider. So I might as well make another Homestuck Fanfic crossover. By which, Dave is going to meet up with his buddy John at Washington state. Also, I think this will be an AU where Sburb didn't exist as it'll be more complicated.

Yeah…The Loud family is going to meet up with some rad dudes until one particular Loud is fond with a one particular cool kid and his Bro. So time for ironic bullshit and the sporty Loud having some damn fun over there.

Chapter 1: Hey…who's this Cool Kid?

Ah…the sweet smell of air. The birds chirping, the flowers are blooming, and you know what else is good in this fine day like this I'm having?

Not going to hell that's for sure. It's SPORTS of what I'm talking about that makes me feel so freaking pump-out with iron and crap loads of adrenaline coursing through my veins! Only thing I wish I can do is to move like a freaking ninja that the naked human eye cannot see at all!

"Heads up Lincoln, the ball is coming at you!" Crying out of my war cry, my feet are between the soccer ball and my bro Lincoln near at the goal basket! When I kicked the ball, it means it is game time here and I hope he reacts fast enough from this!

My brown-auburn hair flowing through the speedy winds like Zeus is angry at me for some more mad Olympian challenges to earn and my sweat touches the sweet fabric of my awesome athletic attire from school with a big red Number One on the center of my chest! Telling people that I am indeed a winner here and I'll take your trophies from your competitions!

Kicking the soccer ball with an intense speed like a tiger chasing off to its delicious prey, by which the delicious prey I'm having is my bro who's shaking like crazy. Where I'm going to predict he's going to flinch like a pussy when a soccer ball is about to hit his manhood and not going to catch it at all! You gotta' be better than that Lincoln and you need to get some good reflexes to catch that darn ball if you want to improve yourself in P.E because I heard you failed again in P.E! I mean freaking P.E which is my favorite class I ever had!

"O-oh nonononon-no, sweet no!" As I predicted, Lincoln who's not wearing his sporty attire and only wears his casual clothing like his boring, lame orange shirt, his pants, and nothing else so athletic about him, starting to close his eyes and starting to cover his crotch...which I'm very disappointed. If he's covering his nuts, that means he's not properly participating in this sport we're in!

The ball then whizzes passed him where the wind left a mark on my bro as his hair got blown backwards, his clothes flopping really crazy and the ball hits the net. You know what that means. I won…which Lincoln did nothing or put any effort on stopping the soccer ball going through the net for the six hundred times already!

Looking down at my white-haired brother who's lying on the grass of our backyard and moaning to himself of his daily usual, ineptitude in sports…you know, I wish I meet up with a boy who has a lot of guts and who is challenging enough to suit my interest to have any sense of competition with him. The rest of the boys I know back at school and in the neighborhood aren't really challenging at all! Being all prissy and nerdy like my bro right here, talking about their boring comics, about their boring, prissy girlfriends as they're not talking about the important game! Some of them try to hit on me which I have no interesting on dating them since I always owned them in sports. Some tried to get a little rough on me and try to forcefully kiss me for no reason. In which in return…I wonder, where are their balls went? In the hospital you say? What joy of kicking some balls here and there along hearing some desperate nerds yelling in glory for me! In which I hit the goal and scored some points with some of my fans yelling at me in joy!

I mean come on! At least I want to meet up with a dude who's really cool and hard to surpass his physical prowess that would be a challenge like he's in the air right now and riding on a cool hover board which that wouldn't likely to ever happen on whatsoever-

*VROOOOoooom!* Wait a second…

Looking above me when I heard a deafening screech like a jet went off and my hair is moving like crazy by the sudden strong winds I felt blowing through my freckled face. I look up to see a pair of dudes riding on a single red, flaming hover board that looks so rad as heck to ride and I saw this weird…puppet thing that's tangling on the edge of the board that Luan would probably use to do her obsession with creepy ass puppets. Creepy ass puppets where no man should see it at all.

It's pretty hard to describe them since they're near to the rear of the sun and I only got a shadowy glimpse of them of who they are. I wonder who those people are and for that…I'm quite curious of what they're heading to? You know, I want to go in an adventure to find out why they're here and let's not forget about my brother Lincoln following behind to see our new guests here in our neighborhood! Besides, he needs to jog once for a while to keep him fit in tip top shape.

"Come on Lincoln! Let's go find out who those guys are!" Yelling at my brother to get up and get his ass off from the ground since he just almost passed out-…oh. Yeah, I need to wake him up first and I know a good method to wake him up which is tackling him!

[Somewhere nearby in the neighborhood…]

You are now the Cool Kid and the coolest one out of cool people. You saw the many ironies of what your Bro is doing and you told your Bro un-ironically that you want to meet up with your buddy Egbert who is living in a state called Washington which is the birth place where the first American president ascended from. Your Bro brought you here as you are suffering from pent up sexual frustration and that you need to fiercely make out with your pan pal buddy John with such heinous acts. In which that you might turn into a creepy ass bird furry and for being a twisted ass creepypasta character that no man should see you at all of being a biggest, disgusting bird furry in your life. In addition to your medical symptoms of your disease riddled body of that urge, you need some daily doses of smuppets to release your erotic urges and probably freak the fuck out from them if it truly cures your fears.

Feeling you should drop some beats here and there along being sexual attracted to your Bro's puppets that you love them so damn much and hiding some really shitty swords that your bro gave you while keeping his badass sword to himself as he ironically beats you in every strife. So you might as well be the Cool Kid once for a while. So, who's this insufferable douche-I mean Cool Kid is doing?

[Be the Cool Kid]

Sup, the name's Dave Strider. I think my name is Dave since that's what my Bro always calls me by all the time for no fucking reason. What next? Telling you to stop reading this bullshit fan-fiction and then later I will tell you some retarded story that I'm secretly a demigod which is extremely improbable? Yeah, that's what would a sane person would think about it. So before I get off-track, what the hell I was thinking again? About something to do with moving here and doing the coming of age ritual where Bro tries to initiate his 'rite of passage' shit?

Oh yeah...I remember now, I was touching my Bro's soft rumpus area while riding on this sack of shit board. When I said I want to meet up with my nerdy frustrated friend that he kept being trolled on his computer like what…five years for now? I want to meet up my buddy John un-ironically; but Bro decided we should move to Washington for shits and giggles to fuck with me.

We're already here in two fucking hours while our goddamn truck that holds our stuff will be here in five fucking days. Five fucking days since we just got here with my Bro's piece of shit board and his cool Lil Cal-which I'm really cool with him! Honestly! I'm really cool with Lil Cal-and I'm not panicking here when I'm near him. His sexy puppet face is not unattractive to me and not at all, you know what I'm saying. You know I'm not flipping the fuck out from this puppet I'm seeing, not at all Dave…not at all. His blue shirt with his name on it and a magnificent skull like face to stare at it while he smiles at me.

My blondish fucking white hair is being humped by the air in backward position style and my sweet Shades that is the child of Ben Stiller hugging my face like it's aroused to be sticking on my eyeballs. My hands are touching my Bro's fine ass while he's being chill as hell here that I'm grabbing his soft, smuppet ass butt cheeks so I wouldn't free falling the fuck out of this board like a bird who forgot to know how to fly that gotten retarded out of nowhere.

So pretty much I'm moving here to do Bro being a complete jackass once more and trying to mentally fuck with me of his ironic mind games which would probably scarred normal people for life of his bullshitery antics that no one should deal with. Since we move out of Texas to this piece of shit State with a jet board that took us here in just two hours, I immediately begin to regret of talking to my Bro about it and we might lose our shitty Texas accent ya' which is nonexistent if it's ya yella belly Yankee bullcrap.

I just want to meet up with fucking John personally, not to move out here that this is jamming with zero shit taste of coolness where it's filled with Republican, Democratic propaganda that I want to fuck some donkeys or elephants to get my sexy ass vote to steal my dignity. You know, showering me with their arousing euphemism to appeal PC votes that everyone is so fucking offended about it. Politicians and the system to make us go full-on retarded here since people can't think shit for themselves.

Anyways as my deep self-hatred and the wickedry fuckery ass ride I had in my Bro's hover piece of shit is done. Here is our house we got…a really shitty house I say. It's like the Inside-Out movie without some fucking gremlins controlling my brain. You know, the selfish, self-entitled girl name Riley who's complaining about San Francisco which is the coolest place to be in than this boring ass state I'm in. The house I saw before me is perfectly, recently build in two weeks ago that my Bro ordered. The glass windows are fine, polished, and new. It has three floors which the top floor has an attic to shove piles of worthless shit that we don't need including the basement downstairs of what I've heard from my Bro's bitching. This house is really fucking big since I don't know where the fuck Bro gets his money from-oh wait, ironic smuppet porn…never mind of what I said before or any other ironic bullshit that he does which I'm pretty sure those stunts he specifically made for me are design to get under my skin and probably trying to piss me off.

The house is pretty new, clean, and I basically hate it. Where's the ruin ass house that you need one? Like it is going to be all Tyler Durden up in this bitch and being all edgy about it while we make a place called Fight Club, where we beat each other to death for no goddamn reasons at all along having imaginary friends out of the fucking blue like it is Foster Homes for sociopathic Friends right out of my ass.

Walking to the house that's painted in white, so this piece of crap wouldn't be rotten. This place looks as boring as hell itself. Speaking of hell, where the hell is the graffiti? The disgusting look of this place that makes me wants to vomit? Why the hell my Bro decide to pick this crappy joint? To psychologically mess me up since that's currently working on me.

Oh man, if I ever find John. I will tell him of how my life sucks right now since we're living in this sexy joint and probably beat the crap out of him for suggesting me on coming over here in the first place. Where my Bro has more psychological games under his sleeves than his collection of puppet fetishes in his mind.

"Dave. Give me a good honest question to me. How shitty is this house I bought? It looks so bad that it looks so fine, arousing in your eyes Dave. Admit it, you're getting arouse by it don't you?" Yes, the house looks so nice that I want to stay inside of it forever and I don't mind fucking the said house. It looks pretty god damn ugly and grandiose if I say it right, yet I'm getting a heavy amusement from looking at this pile of shit. It looks so great that my mind is in ecstasy from looking at it and my eyes aren't bleeding from looking at this shitty design that is so elegant for one bit.

"It is so good that it is shitty, yet it's good in a bad way that I want to cut myself Bro. You know, decking the halls and rub myself for it." Giving him my lying opinion about it yet it's true at the same time. Bro looks back at it and rubbed his chin like a douchebag he is. Ironically thinking about the house which he's not thinking about it at all, what he's actually thinking about is jacking off to some gay puppet porn.

When I'm about to think shit here and do nothing in particular but to fuck around in the front yard and jerking our dicks off out in public like it's an all-out gay exhibition museum for people to watch especially for kids to learn about sexuality. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone yell out behind me and charging at me in a war cry, disliking of our plans on doing something that's unreasonably retarded to watch.

"BANZAI!" Yup, it's a girl and being all kamikaze bat-shit crazy about it as well since we're doing something gay here. In all serious gay power we're doing and being all disgusting Otaku ninjas about it simultaneously. Where Ironic Tendencies is an actual, official superpower like moving around that no can see shit and flash stepping like it's fucking Naruto that has a huge weeaboo cult following. Where said anime is actually a capitalistic religion that indoctrinate you to worship your god Naruto or whatever.

Moving behind her and touching the paved cement sidewalk where her foot just about to land on the fucking front door of our new found house that I was about to open. Luckily, Bro was fast enough to react to this bullshit occurrence and opened the front door in the right time. Where he just becomes a blur and the door suddenly opens up for our new psychopathic neighbor here to land. Making it to my list of grievances of why I hate this place so much. How worst could this possibly be for me? What? Meet some weird kid that seems do always talk to himself for no reason at all along breaking the fourth wall out of fucking nowhere? I'll call that bullshit and that probably wouldn't exist on meeting some weird douche who's probably being an absolute prick.

"Lynn! Why do…you…attack…our…new neighbors. HUFF…I really need to stop running on catching up with you." Whoops, I think I just jinx it up. What terrible luck I have and I'm pretty sure he'll be the biggest insufferable douche I'll ever meet and I'll probably be the biggest, gayest douche ever to him.

"Wait. How-how did you get there and not here new kid? Are you like a freaking ninja or something?! If so, that would be really cool!" What Ninjas? I only see sexually confused hipsters here who are being ironic shinobi-Japanese crap, speaking in broken Japanese jutsu words and growing disgusting neck breads. In short, what the fuck are you talking about?

"What fucking ninjas? We're bunch of dudes moving into this shitty house for no reasons at all. Standing here in the hot sizzling heat we're in like a bread about to get raped by Mr. Toaster." Complaining about the heat during the month of June of my shitty summer break, although truthfully, I feel really nice outside…despite sweating out here like a soak sponge that needs his icing really bad.

"Wait-did I hear you cuss? You know cussing is bad right?!" Turning to this white haired kid that's being the biggest asshole right here, but most importantly…are you really serious right now? Concerning me about cussing? Don't you see this girl just tried to kick me? By any chance, who the hell is this guy and where did they just came from because I was too busy fascinated of the door I was staring at?

"Hey buddy. Do you realize that this girl just tried to kick me like I'm a domesticated abuse husband who lost his balls to do her sociopathic wife? Scratch that, I really enjoyed that scenario I was in. For that, I really want draw my blade to amputate some limbs here…you goddamn psycho. But when I think about it twice, my ass felt like some feathery soft pillows and her legs are rocking hard, ready to penetrate right to my butthole of how she acted upon me." Giving him my full opinion of this mess I'm in that has nothing to do with these guys but to piss me off. They kept pestering me because they're curious mammals who want to learn about me and I'm the motherfucking zookeeper for them. Also, my Strider senses are tingling again that this girl wants to kick me again…for no goddamn reasons at all.

"HIYAAA!" As I move like a slow turtle who just got recently crippled, I moved in the slowest speed ever as I'm now backed at the door and-not-in-the-cement-sidewalk-anymore-by-which-I'm-not-talking-so-slow-for-sarcastic-sense-to-you.

When she realized she was kicking an air of nothing, her face was drawn in a huge surprise and how she is standing there, really confuse of what mad tricks I did that's now irrelevant to me.

Landed on my feet, doing my forbidden Otaku moves on her where is so fucking forbidden, the forsaken weeaboos will be all over me and asking me to do this wicked ass move I'm having. I bet this girl that tried attack me is indeed a weeaboo, trying to blackmail me to teach her of how gotta' go fast in the Sonichu spectrum.

By any chance, who the hell is she and why does she want to break my fucking spine for? Like I'm some sad, little alien cripple who is so low in self-esteem down to his dignity that I bowed down to my bitchy like girlfriend who is an utter bitch and making the stupidest rap lyrics I ever heard of on coping with his shitty esteem? Who the heck think she is?

[Somewhere in an alien planet…]

Typing to my Morail Gamzee…which I think he is my Morail? I want to discuss about my feelings with…Vriska since she…well, crippled my legs and I felt very depressed right now since she keeps berating me for no grubbing reasons at all. But I don't mind it at all…I guess?

Also, why do I feel someone just insulted me recently and why do I feel more depressed like right now? I mean what would Pupa Pan do in this situation and the Lost Weeabos coping with such dramatic experience I'm having?

After having my buddy Gamzee pep-talk out of my mood. I think I'm feeling a lot better now! You know what? Time to get some fresh Alternian air and hearing the nasty lifeforms dwelling near to my hive! Nothing go wrong of doing that!

Just hope the wildlife doesn't eat me though...

[Dave]

Yeah, that's probably what he's feeling right now and I could care less about it in the slightest sense.

So who are they and what do they want with me?

[Lynn Loud]

Oh boy, when I tried to kick him again. He just suddenly disappeared on my sights and reappeared out of nowhere behind me? Like how does he do that?! Is that humanly possible that he move such speed?

Getting up to my knees and wanting to greet this new kid of who looks like a really cool dude along with his coolly presume guardian next to him that's wearing those anime shades for some weird reason? I heard this tall guy spoke out about my...performance.

"Wow motherfucker, you totally miss Dave's back. How about you be more precise and kick his ass for once? He sure loves it by the way. So do your thing on him and I'm going to do something that I'll probably abandoned him. You know, important business." Seeing this cool looking guy got on his rad board with flames on it. He floats off onto the sky and never be seen again…I think? Thinking about it, does he really care for this kid since I tried to break his spine?

"Wait, so this guy abandoned you…err, Dave of what he calls you?" Seeing he just lifted his shoulders saying he has no idea and pretty much cool with it.

"Nah, don't worry about him. He's trying to psychologically get under my skin and pretty much a ruse for me to bitch at him to suck his dependent dick so I can bow down to him. He'll eventually come back and I'll be glad if he's gone. Besides, I know Bro. He's probably doing something retarded without me knowing about it." After he spoke such…um, enthusiasm about his guardian person where he calls him Bro which I think it is this guy's brother. I'm a little bit concern about this Dave person since he's speaking a little bit strange like this happens a lot to him? But whatever it is, he's still freaking cool as heck and I need to learn about that teleporting skill he does!

[Lincoln Loud]

Why hello there folks. Today I was chasing after my sister when she spotted something that's flying in the sky after doing her brutal soccer ball practices that I don't want to get involve on ever. So now we're here my dear viewers and meeting up with our new neighbor that I don't know much about him. By any which, does he like comics? Especially Ace-Savvy ones? At first, I really don't like him since he was cussing but he's really a cool kid of what I've seen so far about him! Like…the coolest kid who can drop the sickest beats around here and be extremely cool about everything!

"Why hello there my fellow neighbor, how is the cool day we're having here near you? By the way, what's your name?" Trying to put up a pun that Luan would enjoy and make myself look cool to him, the cool kid still make the blank expression he has and answered our question. Of how he answers…sort of hurts my feelings.

"Wow, what a crappy pun you just made. Like what? Are you some sort of fat skeleton that has nothing better to do than to be fucking lazy and making horrendous puns along harassing a naughty kid who decided to be a dick to everyone? I don't think so buddy. To answer your question, the name's Ben Strider and I just move here to do my Bro trying to mentally torture me since I want to visit my buddy John, not to move out here at all." Um wait, how does a fat skeleton get involved in this conversation we're talking about that sounds nonsensical? But nevertheless, let's forget about that and continue our conversation…Ben Strider-

…

Wait; did his Bro say his name is Dave? I think you're trying to be deceitful to me right here aren't you Dave? I know what you're doing. I got the skills to know that someone is lying to me like Ace-Savvy taught me a few tricks in my sleeves of how to detect liars.

"Wow-wow-wow…I think you're trying to mess with us? Isn't your name Dave since your Bro said it out loud?" Seeing the kid just raised his eyebrow at us, he gave us his legitimate reason of why he call himself Ben and not Dave.

"Well my Bro is an absolute douche and his actually name is Dave so he can point his identity to me to hold his fraud insurance when it comes to making smuppets. So the cops can blame on me, throw me to jail, and giving me the Captain Custer position in the butt endlessly…does that sound familiar to you?" Wow, I never know your Bro is so cruel-

"Ha, ha, ha…just kidding buddy. Wow, you really fall into that crap I just recently made up. Nah, my name is really Dave. Don't forget about that yo." Gosh darn it! Did I really fall into his ruse in a moment notice?!

Okay, keep it cool Lincoln. I don't want to make this guy think I'm uncool and unhip about it. Just do ya thing and hope for the best that he doesn't notice that you're forcing yourself to act cool to him. So what do to do Lincoln? How would I make myself look cool? Bringing him to my house?

…

…

Nope, definitely nope, my sisters will destroy the entire cool kid plan I have in mind and it will destroy my image of me being a cool kid just like him! I don't want to see me as a laughing stock to Dave! best hope Lynn doesn't invite him in, hope Lynn doesn't invite him in-

"Hey Dave, do you want to come to our house and meet up with my sisters since you're new to the neighborhood? The name's Lynn Loud and next to me is my bro Lincoln." Oh jeez no, really Lynn? Why?! I don't want to let him see me with my sisters or I'll be a loser here! So I got a plan to slow him down before he can reach to my house.

"Hey Dave, do you want to do-?" Yet Dave agreed with Lynn with no second thought before I ask him a trivia question. "Sure why not, I want to see something new here than Bro dicking around at me. So lead the way Lynn." Oh come on!

"Hey Strider, do you want-"

"No." Please come on, listen to me!

"How about-"

"No."

"Can we read my comics, it's so super cool-"

"Buddy no. I have my own web-comic." Wait-really, you're into superheroes? Me too!

"Let's-"

"No."

Again, trying to stall him before he can reach to my house is failing, looks like this is going to be the inevitable as he seems to be ignoring me. What? Am I not cool enough to him? I wonder what Clyde would say about this situation we're in? Luckily, I got my Clyde radio to give me advice about this!

Pulling out my Walkie-talkie down from my pants, I spoke out to Clyde quietly before Dave can notice me. "Psst…Clyde? Do you have any cool-kids advice because I have a new awesome neighbor who's living few blocks away from my house?" Oh man, hope Clyde knows what he is doing or else Dave will shame on me of who I am. So I need to soften the impact before he can judge me.

Welp…the first chapter is done. Now time for the second chapter for the introductions of the sisters.