A/N: My boo Justine (imhookedonaswan) wanted some Hades, Killian and Lucifer sass. I hope I did it justice.
"I need your help; Rumplestiltskin at kidnapped Zelena."
If there was one thing Emma didn't expect, it was Hades asking her and her family for help. "And what makes you think that after everything you have done that we would even dream of helping you?"
"Because, I can send you all home." With a flourish of his hand, Emma felt a massive weight being lifted out of her stomach. "You and your family are no longer tethered to the Underworld. You can go home whenever you wish."
"And what about me, mate? In case you have forgotten, I'm dead," Killian shouted. They had found out the hard way that Killian's body was decomposing rapidly, so his body was becoming an unsuitable form for him.
"There is a way…" Hades wa about to explain, but he was interrupted.
"Are you really about to tell him about Orpheus and Euridice? God lord, you are like broken record…"
Emma, Killian and rest turned to see who was behind them, and they were confused. The man obviously knew who Hades was, but he didn't seem to recognize any of them, so it couldn't have been someone who encountered Regina, Snow, David or Killian during his life. He had brown hair that was almost black that was kept short and well kempt. A white collared shirt stood out from his stark black tailored suit and shiny black loafers. He seemed unassuming, but Emma could have sworn that as she caught a glimpse of his dark mahogany brown eyes that they had turned blood red.
"You do know that story is ancient, right? Much like yourself." The stranger sauntered up to Hades and patted him on the back so hard he nearly knocked him over. "Hello, Hades. Fancy running into you out here in the. You are usually the 'stay in my room and brood' type if I'm not mistaken."
"I don't really have time for this. The love of my life has been kidnapped!" Hades increased frustration with the delay in finding Zelena and this gentleman showing up out of nowhere was getting to him.
"You mean Persephone…"
"No! Zelena!"
"The Wicked Witch?! Oh, that is precious."
"Did you come here to gloat over my suffering, or are you here for a reason? Did come to visit Versace to 'borrow' one of his suits?"
"Ok that was one time, and it was for his funeral. I needed to look impeccable."
The back and forth between the two men, albeit entertaining, was getting the heroes nowhere. Killian interrupted their tête-à-tête by asking, "Just who in the bloody hell are you?"
The man in the black suit looked to Killian and smirked while swinging back on his heels with his hands in his pockets. "Feisty one, isn't he? Who does he belong to?"
Emma heard Killian growl, so she held him back. "Just answer the question before I do something I regret."
"Oh, he must be yours. I must say, sir, well done." Walking up to Emma as he removed one of his hands from his pocket, he grabbed Emma's hand and placed a kiss of her knuckles. Emma stared into his dark eyes once again, and she confirmed her suspicion for earlier: they flashed red. He released his lips from her knuckles, but his gaze lingered on her. Killian wanted desperately to tear the man limb from limb for even touching Emma, but he knew she could take of herself in these matters. "Allow me to introduce myself. Lucifer Morningstar, at your service."
Emma stood still for a second, untils he doubled over with laughter.
"Wait a second...you're Lucifer? THE Lucifer?"
"That is what I said, isn't it?"
Trying to reign in her laughter, she continued, "But how is that possible? Hades is right here! Are you telling me that the God of the Underworld and the Devil are two different people?"
"I believe that is what I am telling you, yes," he said with a matter-of-fact tone but still smiling.
"I need to sit down for a second…" Emma sat herself down right on the sidewalk, trying to wrap her mind around the situation. Meanwhile, Hades was chomping at the bit to get a move on to help Zelena.
"So, Underboy, what exactly happened to your lady love?" Lucifer inquired.
"Rumpelstiltskin took her...I need to get her back."
Lucifer wrapped his arm around Hades and brought him in for the most awkward of awkward side hugs. "Oh, it's ok now. I'm sure these nice people and their leather-clad dog would be more than willing to assist you."
"Oy, who are you calling a dog, mate?" Killian's temper flared at Lucifer's comments.
"Woof woof."
"Lucifer, what the hell are you doing?"
Killian noticed the man's eyes go completely wide at the voice behind him. He looked up and noticed a woman, dressed in a police jacket and long ponytail. Her face was obviously frustrated.
"Detective, I thought I told you to stay behind…"
Sighing, she walked closer to Lucifer and Killian. "And miss an opportunity to watch you make and ass of yourself? I think not." This woman looked over and noticed Emma. "Let me guess: your friend here was introduced to Lucifer's charms."
Emma couldn't help but laugh. "If by charm you mean arrogance, then yes" Emma held her hand out for the women to take. "Emma Swan."
"Detective Chloe Decker."
"Detective, huh? I'm a sheriff."
"If you two could stop it with girl time, and help get the mangy dog away from me, it would be much appreciated," Lucifer called out.
Killian sped towards Lucifer, grasping his collar in his right hand while brandishing his hook in front of Lucifer's face with another. "Call me a dog one more time…"
"Or you'll what? Kill me? I'm immortal, Fido."
"Doesn't mean I can't make it hurt." The tip of his hook grazed the skin of his cheek, creating a tiny puncture. Blood appeared, causing Lucifer to try and shrink away from Killian. This always happened when Chloe bloody Decker was around. As Killian went to drag the hook across his cheek, Lucifer held up his hand in surrender "Alright, alright, no need to damage the merchandise." Killian reluctantly released Lucifer from his grasp, his knuckle pure white from the force of his grip. Lucifer adjusted his collar, making sure it was back in it's proper place. "Now, I believe the 'Lord' of the Underworld promised your friends a way to return but not yourself, am I correct?"
"Aye."
"Well, it seems I have a solution." Lucifer reached into his pocket and removed a coin, which one removed he let float in the air. "This is a Pentecostal Coin. It allows those to return from Hell, to the land of the living. Fortunately for you, the same rules apply if you are simply stuck in the Underworld."
"And you'll just hand it over to him, no questions asked?" While the others thought the exact same thing, it was Regina who voiced it.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" He looked from Regina back over to Killian. "Let's just say, you owe me a favor."
"What kind of favor?"
Lucifer suddenly stood right in front of Killian so they only person that could hear him talking with Killian. "That's for me to decide later on. Do we have a deal, Spot?" Emma and Chloe looked over at each other and rolled their eyes, but Emma still had her concerns. She called out to him, "Killian, please think about this…"
Lucifer opened his palm, revealing to the coin. Grumbling, Killian swiped the coin out of his hand. "Excellent. You'll be hearing from me. Now, I believe you all have to go see an imp about a witch. Come on, Detective, we have business to attend to while we are here." He nodded at Killian and they both walked towards the diner.
"Well, that certainly was...interesting," exclaimed Snow.
Emma sidled up to Killian. He was clutching the coin in his hand, afraid to put it anywhere else. "Killian, are you sure about this?"
He turned to his side looking at Emma. "As long as I am able to get back with you, I would make a hundred more deals with that man." He touched his forehead to hers, comforting himself momentarily. "Now, let's go find Zelena."
The heroes, along with Hades, rescued Zelena from Rumple. Zelena chose to stay and rule the Underworld with Hades, while the rest returned to Storybrooke without incident. The deal with Lucifer was all but forgotten by everyone, except Killian, who would turn the coin in his hand at all hours of the day, wondering when the time would come that his debt would have to be paid.