Title: Coming Out
Author: closetbound
Rating: R
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Disclaimer: It's not mine. Don't sue, please.
Summary: Harry comes out to surprising results.
The Spouse
"I'm gay."
"I figured."
"Ginny, I'm so sor...Wait, you're not upset?"
"Well Harry, I can't say I'm overjoyed to hear it, but I'm not all that surprised."
"Ok...you aren't angry with me?"
"It's not exactly something you can control, is it? It would be pointless for me to get angry."
"Well, ok, that makes sense, but I married you. I guess I just never expected you to take this so calmly."
"Hmm...that's life. Of course, if you really want to console me, you could let me watch."
"Wha...WHAT?"
"It really would make me feel much better."
The Friends
"Hey Hermione, could I speak with you and Ron for a minute?"
"Of course, Harry. Come in."
"Hey, mate. What's going on?"
"Well...um...I just...uh...wanted to let you know that...uh...you know-"
"Anytime, mate."
"RON!"
"I'm gay."
"Oh, that's all? We wondered when you would finally come out."
"You...what?"
"We wondered when you would finally admit it."
"Finally admit it?...Ron, I'm married to you sister!"
"Yeah. So, have you told her yet?"
"This morning."
"Ok, then."
"Ok, then? What the fuck has happened to everyone?"
"Harry, what did you expect Ron and me to do? Hex you?"
"Well, sort of, yeah."
"You're our best friend. Of course we'll stand beside you."
"Yes, but...I think I need a rest.
The Gay Friend
"Seamus, hi."
"Rough week?"
"Strange, at any rate. How did you know?"
"Saw the Prophet."
"Oh."
"Yeah, so has anyone shown you around yet?"
"Shown me around? Seamus, I've lived here for 10 years."
"You haven't been out for 10 years. You've been out for 10 hours-"
"I've been out for 6 days."
"and someone needs to show you how it works."
"How it works? I...um...I think I have a pretty good...not that I'm saying...but I-"
"Stop blushing, Harry. I wasn't about to give you THE TALK, though if you need a demonstration-"
"No, that's alright."
"Suit yourself, but Harry, I was talking more about lifestyle."
"Lifestyle?"
"Right. First, we really need to talk clothes."
"What's wrong with my clothes?"
"Right. Anyway, there's also the culture factor."
"The culture factor?"
"Yes. Have you ever heard of Barbra Streisand?"
The "Coming Out" Party
"Hi, Hermione. Thanks for coming. Where's Ron?"
"He had to work late. He did send this for you."
"Rainbow lampshades...how...colorful. Thank you."
"Leather pants, Harry?"
"Don't ask."
later...
"Harry, I want you to meet someone."
"Seamus, that's Malfoy. I know Malfoy."
"No, this is Draco."
"Seamus, you're drunk."
"Yeah...I think you might be right."
"Possibly."
"Leave him alone, Malfoy."
"Draco."
"Potter, for once, I was agreeing with you."
"Draco, I would like you to meet-"
"Yes, I have made Potter's acquaintance."
"Harry's nice...and he has soft hair."
"Um...right. Seamus, why don't you come lie down on the couch."
"Ok, Harry. You'll talk to Draco?"
"Sure."
"I think he'd be good for you."
"Ok, Seamus. Lie down."
"How sweet."
"Shut it, Malfoy. What are you doing here, anyway?"
"I'm attending a party."
"Yes, in my flat."
"Ah."
"Right. So, how did you end up at a party in my flat?"
"Honestly, Potter, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Try me."
"I've been in love with you for years, and I decided that I just can't manage another day without you?"
"Try again."
"I told you you wouldn't believe me."
"That couldn't have anything to do with the fact that..."
"Yes?"
"I lost it. What was I saying?"
"It looks like Finnegan isn't the only souse in the room."
"As if you're completely sober."
"Touche. Do you want the truth?"
"About what?"
"Do keep up Potter. Would you like to know why I'm here?"
"Of course."
"I'm here because, however ridiculously annoying you may be, your ass turned out incredibly well."
"Huh?"
"In simple words, I want to fuck you."
"Fuck me?"
"Yes, Potter. You do understand my meaning?"
"Yeah, it's just, you hate me."
"Quite a bit, actually."
"And I hate you."
"Yes."
"So, why?"
"It's just a fuck Potter. You turned out to be shaggable, but I'm guessing you have zero experience."
"Well, yeah."
"So, you get a lesson, and I get you. It's a fair trade, I think."
"Um, ok then, I guess."
"Where's the bedroom, Potter?"
"Uh...what?"
"Bedroom?"
"Uh...ok. Malfoy, I haven't exactly...um...well, I mean I know some things...but...uh-"
"Potter."
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
"Right."
"Bedroom?"
"Right. It's this way."
"Rainbow curtains?"
"Don't ask."
The Morning After
"What the fuck is that racket?"
"Huh?"
"Merlin, Potter. Wake your lazy ass up. Something is bringing down the flat!"
"Oh, it's an owl."
"Who the fuck is sending you an owl at 6am?"
"It's from Ginny."
"The Weaselette?"
"Malfoy."
"Don't get your dick in a knot. What does she want?"
"She's angry with me."
"Why?"
"She didn't get to watch."