North Korea was walking down the street, enjoying the hot sun when a man came along with a paper and pencil.
"Hello, North Korea!" The random man introduced himself. "I am here on behalf of The Onion to take a poll. And I need you to give me your honest opinion! Could you tell us who you think should be named 'Sexiest man of the Year?'"
North Korea's jaw dropped at the word 'opinion'. He had not heard this word in the longest time! 'The Onion', huh? The country thought. Wasn't that a satirical group? North Korea smiled. Of course, there was this one man who would probably order North Korea grounded for a whole year if he hadn't called him the sexiest man of the year. "Kim Jong-Un." The country said, smiling, and he walked away with the reporter waving goodbye.
"Hey, China! Tell me what you think so far!" The reporter handed the report to the country and watched him read it up and down.
"Aiya!" China cried. "North Korea thinks Kim Jong-Un is sexy, aru?" He ran to the computer and looked at some pictures of the dictator. He certainly was not sexy! But after looking at pictures of the man for several minutes, he began to see what North Korea meant. Words began to form in his head, and they began to form sentences, and they formed paragraphs, and soon, he had a whole report on this man to write himself!
"Hey, America! Do you want to read the latest news in China?" China handed the American his report.
America looked at the stack of 50+ pages written. How was he supposed to read all this? News was boring, and he'd rather be at home reading comic books! America shrugged and began to read the first page, but he found it hard to stop. Kim Jong-Un was considered sexy? He couldn't help but laugh every now and again.
"With his devastatingly handsome, round face, his boyish charm, and his strong, sturdy frame, this Pyongyang-bred heartthrob is every woman's dream come true. He has that rare ability to somehow be completely adorable and completely macho at the same time."
America snickered, leaving China confused.
"What is it, aru?" The Asian tilted his head.
America looked at the various pictures printed on the pages. That sexy double-chin! America thought with a smile. That inability to smile realistically is so charming! "I'm sorry, China! Where did you get this idea? It's hilarious!" America handed the pages back to the pony-tailed man.
"Idea? It's news straight from North Korea, aru! A reporter from The Onion gave me a rough draft of the report to check, and the story was so intriguing, aru! I didn't believe it at first but… You don't find him sexy?
America's head threw back and he howled in laughter. "The Onion? You do realize that's a satirical group, right?"
"What do you mean, aru?" China furrowed a brow.
America's smile grew. "I mean the article was a joke!"