A/N: Alright, so this is an alternate story starting after Tamsin takes Bo's hair for the runeglass. I had started this way back in July and figured it should be posted before season 4 started.

Disclaimer: Absolutely nothing is mine, at all, I don't own anything from the show

Tamsin was sitting on the floor of her apartment, morosely spinning one of her curved blades around her finger. It had been four nights since the night she'd stolen the hair from Bo's head, four nights since she'd had everything she needed on her end to complete the runeglass. She hadn't seen any of the Happy Sunshine Gang since then, dodging all of their calls and attempts at contact.

Drawing up a leg, she leaned her head against the wall and surveyed her apartment, the one that had been provided to her by god knows who. Whoever it was that had decided to station her here. Setting the bottle of alcohol against one knee, she slumped farther down the wall to contemplate the ceiling. She wasn't even drunk anymore, and her hangover had receded, now she was just holding the bottle. It was a familiar source of comfort, one that had scarcely changed over the years. Her mind was buzzing, and the fog that set in shortly after she had taken Bo's hair was being frustratingly inconsistent.

Through half-lidded eyes, she turned her head to take in the disaster surrounding her. It was fitting, really. An excellent representation of what was left of her life. About two days ago, after the initial breakdown that had left her sobbing in a corner, she had trashed everything she could get her hands on, and she just couldn't be troubled to clear away the resulting debris. Wasn't like it mattered anyways. She wouldn't be here for much longer.

She dropped the blade to the floor and lifted her arm up to cover her face, suddenly realising that she was cold. She wanted a blanket. No, she wanted something warmer. Something – she shook her head when she pinpointed it. She wanted somebody there with her. Stone-hearted Valkyrie with the ability to raze a battlefield, but all she wanted now was a friend.

Loneliness gripped every part of her being, filling her up from the inside, but she just shook her head violently. Tamsin knew loneliness. She had been alive for over a millennia, and in that time there hadn't been many people she could call friends. It would be impossible for her not to be familiar with the sensation of being alone. But she had never had anything this close to belonging. To having something she could keep and call her own. To having friends like this. To someone like Bo. It had changed her, knowing that damn succubus, and she really wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

All she knew was that she couldn't betray Bo, but not completing her orders wasn't an option either. She needed to figure out what she was going to do, and she was running out of time. Odin was expecting her.

She went back to the crack shack, still not really sure about what her plan was. All she knew was that she couldn't go through with her mission, not anymore. She got out of her truck and looked at the flimsy exterior to the building that Bo called a home. Shuffling her feet, she wondered when the last time she had felt this uncertain about anything had been.

Never. Not even during World War I, where the literal fate of the entire world had rested on her single decision.

But at least she knew why she had come back here. She couldn't just leave. Bo deserved better than that.

Then she scoffed at her own statement, because Bo deserved better than what she was going to get. It was all because of Tamsin that she was going to be on the receiving end of the shitstorm coming her way, but the very least thing she could do was tell her to her face, instead of just up and leaving.

She tried to steel herself to go inside, but couldn't bring her feet to move. She frowned fiercely, berating herself for her hesitation. She had never been the type of person to be indecisive about anything, and yet here she was, loitering around outside a decrepit old warehouse building.

Too late, she heard footsteps approaching. It was Bo, a look of confusion across her face. "Tamsin? What are you doing out here?" The succubus' eyes glanced over her appearance before searching her eyes. "Is something wrong? Where've you been the last couple of days?" The brunette paused. "We've been trying to call you," she offered, the concerned tone of her voice doing nothing to dispel the knot of anxiety in her stomach, and suddenly Tamsin wanted to cry.

She kept her head angled away from Bo and shuffled her feet, knowing that her outward appearance wasn't exactly what the other woman was accustomed to.

Taking a deep breath, she raised her head. "Bo, I gotta tell you something." She hesitated again. Damn it. "You aren't going to like it."

"Okay," Bo responded cautiously, and Tamsin felt like smacking herself in the face. There was still trust shining in Bo's eyes, and Tamsin knew that she was about to smash it to pieces. The first person who had had any faith in her for centuries, and she was going to ruin it. Trust didn't come easily when you were a Valkyrie, and Tamsin hadn't even noticed how awful it had been to have that feeling, that knowledge that nobody would ever believe in her sitting in her chest for all those years.

And she realised now, she didn't want to destroy it, didn't want to prove to everyone that they were wrong to put their faith in her. But the part that really hurt was that she knew they had been wrong. They were foolish to trust her, and she should have never let herself get so attached. She had never been worthy enough to be accepted into this wonderful ragtag family. She didn't want to see the look of confusion and betrayal that she had caused so many times on Bo's face. She especially didn't want to see it directed at her.

She didn't really want any of this at all. And she opened her mouth and told Bo everything.

"Dyson just listen to me!" she yelled frantically into her phone. "I'm just trying to warn you, please, just listen."

"Why'd you call me Tamsin?"

Tamsin squeezed her eyes shut. Her confession to Bo hadn't gone well. Or maybe it had, she wasn't sure. Deep down, she had been expecting a lot worse. It had gotten to the point where she had been honestly preparing to fend off a physical attack.

Because that's what I do, she thought bitterly. Look out for myself first, and don't give a rat's ass about what happens to anybody else. The self-preservation instinct was one of the first things a Valkyrie is taught to listen to. You look out for yourself, and screw the rest. They weren't supposed to care about anybody else, because caring for somebody meant you had a weakness. Valkyries certainly weren't supposed to fall for anybody, especially not stubborn succubi who saw good everywhere they looked and didn't know when to give up.

"Because – I… I knew the others wouldn't listen to me." Tamsin closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, "And – because we used to be partners, D-man. I just –" She grew frustrated with herself. "Look, this isn't why I called."

"Is it true, Tamsin? What Bo said, that you were just sent here to bring her in." She could hear the steel in his voice, could picture his eyes flashing in her mind. She'd seen it enough times, aimed at those intending to hurt the ones he cared about.

"Hey, look, I know I'm a piece of shit okay? I know exactly what I did, and you know it, and everybody knows it. But I wasn't – I wouldn't –" The blonde gritted her teeth and pressed a hand against her eye. "I couldn't do it, I can't do it." She tried to calm her breathing, mentally swearing that if she broke down while she was on the phone she was just going to shoot herself and save everyone the trouble. She just had to tell him what he needed to know, and then she was out of here.

"There's just a couple more things I need to tell you, okay? Just a couple minutes and then you can hang up on me." There was no sound on the other end of the line, so she just forged ahead. "I'm sure you and the happy sunshine gang know this by now, but it was Odin who sent me."

"Yeah." His gruff response was a good sign; his answering probably meant that he wouldn't hang up before she'd said her piece.

"Well, I don't know how much detail you have, but you're going to need more than that if you want any chance of beating him. He's Bo's father, and I don't know why, but I've worked for him for a long time, and he's never been this hell-bent on anything. Dyson, he wants Bo, and I don't know what for, but whatever it is it isn't good."

"So why didn't you just tell us? Give us this information before you betray us, and we could've found a way to stop him together." Tamsin had no response to this. No matter how good they were, they couldn't just stop one of the oldest gods of this world. It wasn't that simple. "Even staying to fight with us now would be better than just disappearing on us."

She laughed hollowly. "Like you guys would trust me enough to be by your side now." She shook her head. It had always been considered a great honour to be trusted enough to fight side by side with great warriors, even greater when fighting for a noble cause. But she wasn't great anymore. Maybe she never had been, not really. Sure, she had always been good, nobody could argue that, but she'd never done anything to merit more than that.

She sighed, wishing he could figure out what she was trying to say so she could just leave. "No, look, you don't understand. I disobeyed him, and my life is forfeit. Once he realises I have no intention of delivering Bo, he's going to come after me, and I can't be anywhere near here when he does. I'm leaving tonight, Dyson. I don't know where, but it's going to be somewhere far, far away." She shrugged even though he couldn't see her. "This is the only way I can protect – protect all of you guys." She stumbled over the sentence, unsure of how she meant to finish it. Shaking her head, she moved on.

"But he will catch me, and once he's taken care of me, he's going to come for Bo himself. He won't send another Valkyrie, I'm the best he had, and other than that his choices are pretty shitty. But all that just means the Scooby gang is going to have to face him head on.

"I know what I did, and this is all I can do to try and make it right. He won't let me go free, not after disobeying him like this. No, he's going to hunt me down and make an example out of me, send a message to any other potential deserters." It surprised Tamsin how blasé she sounded describing her own inevitable slow and tortuous death.

"When he's done that, he's coming straight for Bo, and you guys have to be ready for him. All I can do is buy you is some time, lead him on a merry little goose chase before he catches up. I've got a plan, and there'll be false traces of me popping up all over the world soon, credit card bills, security alerts, even aura displacements, anything he could use to track me. I've got a couple of tricks up my sleeve. He'll have to follow these traces, but no one can escape him forever. He's going to get me eventually."

She paused here. It was strange feeling, knowing that her life was essentially over. Surprisingly, it was a different feeling from knowing that she was approaching the end of her life cycle. Either way, if she was going to die, she was glad it would be protecting Bo.

"I've bought you two more weeks at most, so you guys had better be ready for the shitstorm when it hits you." Tamsin stopped, unsure of what else she could say, but she knew that this might be her last chance, and she had to at least try and make him understand why she'd let this happen, maybe even make him understand just how screwed up she actually was. Maybe they could even forgive her one day. But Tamsin brushed away the foolish thought.

"I know what I've done, I understand, I really do, and you can't possibly hate me more than I hate myself. My life is over, my time is up, but I'm going to protect her with everything that I've got left, for as long as I can, you have my word." And she knew that right now, to the man on the other end of the phone, her word didn't mean a whole lot, maybe it never really did, but she's offering it anyways. "I'll spend whatever life I've got left protecting you guys."

"You love her, don't you?" It was phrased as a question, but underneath, she could hear his resignation. He knew, probably had for a while too, so she definitely hadn't been as subtle as she would have liked.

"Yeah," she blinked at the tips of her shoes, noting the scuffs on them, "I guess I do." As the words left her mouth, her throat felt like it was starting to close up, and she found herself furiously blinking back tears. He didn't know the weight a Valkyrie's love carried, but she did, and it fucking hurt. It tore at her soul in a way that she had never felt before, and probably never would again.

Hell, there wasn't a probably there. If she lived another ten thousand years, she wouldn't meet anyone like Bo, and at the moment her expected lifespan was hovering around a few weeks.

"You'll take care of her?" There's a waver in her voice, but Tamsin didn't bother to try and hide it.

"Always will, partner." The last word draws a surprised intake of breath for her, and there are tears in her eyes again. He called her partner to show that he was still in her corner, even if it was just in the spirit of the word. He hadn't turned his back on her.

"Thank you – Dyson," she curled her fingers in the hair hanging limply over her shoulder, tugging at it half heartedly. She was already dead, she didn't need her stupid pride anymore. "For-for everything."

She heard him smile wryly through the phone. "Happy to do it. And hey –" she heard a catch in his voice. "If, you know, by some miracle, you do come back from this," Tamsin scoffs at the words, and he chuckled in return. "I'm serious, you can't hang around Bo and not start expecting miracles at every turn. If you do come back – you'll be welcomed. At the very least by me, and I'll make sure the others know of what you're doing."

She took in a shuddering breath. "Well then, I guess I'll catch you on the flip side." I'm not going to see any of you ever again.

"Goodbye, Tamsin." She nodded once and hung up before she said something embarrassing or started blubbering like a fool. Dyson would tell them about Odin, so now it was time for her curtain call.

She felt like a dust cloud had exploded in her brain, making everything hazy and indistinguishable, but she pushed herself to her feet, trying to shake herself into a more alert frame of mind. Here was where the chase began, and if there was ever a time where she needed to be on her game, it was now. It was strange, reorienting her goals like this. She was no longer fighting for her own life; she wasn't fighting for herself at all. The goal now was to just stay away – stay alive – for as long as possible.

Now standing tall, she narrowed her eyes and squared her shoulders, surveying this apartment for the last time. She was good. She could do this. Step 1 – Keep Odin away from Bo. The only way to do that was to distract him, give him another target. That was all she had to do, and that was all she was going to do. She was going to buy Bo the time she needed, and she was going to die trying.

A/N: There's a second part that will be uploaded within a few days, I split it up just because it was getting really long.