Need You Here

by Aviadri Cameron

Starts in the beginning of Mockingjay. Katniss is depressed with the thought of Peeta in the Capitol. Katniss will do What ever it takes to get him back. Even though she hasn't fully understood how she feels towards Peeta, she knows she cares about him. Katniss is also desperate to keep something a secret from the others, a certain someone created by a certain star-crossed lovers.

1. Chapter 1

Run

Hide

Cry

Hide

Run

Cry

Run

Run

Run

Cry

That's all I seem to do now. I repeatedly run, I hide in the places that I hope they'll never find me and do the only thing I can think of, cry. The hot, clear liquid seeping from my eyes, staining the dull clothes that I wear. When it gets late, I know they'll go searching for me, and I don't want that. It's not that I feel guilty for making them worry, I just don't want that attention they give me and just for once just leave me alone.

I've lost it. I've lost the will to live. I'm not stupid, I know I should wake up and take care of myself for it but it's just too painful. The only reason I'm still alive and haven't tried to kill myself is because of him-because of Peeta. If I just knew for sure that he was dead, I'd be able to die right here and now but the problem is I don't. Before I know for sure how he is I'm stuck here, undead yet unliving. If he is in fact still alive, I will not hesitate to do whatever it is within my power to get him back from the source of all pain and suffering, Snow.

When I first heard that the rebels weren't able to rescue Peeta when the force field blew up, I was stiff. At first I was just numbed by the shock but as the numbness slowly faded, I felt devastated, betrayed, enraged, but mostly hollow. Devastated for Peete, betrayed by Haymitch, enraged at the rebels that I was once again played as a piece in someone's games. What shocked me the most was the hollowness, I'm so used to having Peeta that not having him made feel so empty. Even though I still don't know exactly how I feel about Peeta but I do know that I do actually love him to some extent. I might not know if I'm In love with him but I do know that I do care deeply for him. He is my friend, the one who has numerously saved my life and I will do anything to keep him safe.

When it reaches what I estimate to be a little past ten at night, I slowly walk to the compartment I share with my mother and Prim. I look at the clock on the wall and it is 10:15- Bathing. The people in 13 are too organized for my liking. I mean who forces people to get stamped with a schedule on their wrists each and every day that tells you when exactly to eat, sleep, and even bathe? I look at the person staring at me in the mirror, no wonder people don't get near me. I'm a mess, a walking zombie, when I look at my void like eyes, the only word I can sum up is depression. Mother and Prim will be working late tonight at the hospital, maybe even working till dawn. Even though I haven't bathed since yesterday, I go straight for the bed, not having the will to clean myself.

I'm woken up a few minutes later due to an unspeakable nightmare about helplessly watching Peeta get ripped apart by razor sharp claws. I start hyperventilating. No Katniss, they weren't real, it was just a dream. Just Peeta's voice in my head helps to calm me a little but then as if I just realized that he's not here, I sob uncontrollably. After the sobbing resides and completely dies out, I fish the pearl Peeta gave me from the drawer beside my bed and hold it like a lifeline.

An hour of twisting and tossing later, I finally accept that it's going to be another sleepless night. I stare at the ceiling, enjoying just the little comfort the two pieces of Peeta I have left could give. As my right palm slowly roles the pearl and my left softly caressing the spot at my lower abdomen where a piece of Peeta lives, I know I can get through this night.