A/N - So I'd like to apologize right now for every chapter because honestly my typing/editing isn't fantastic. It's a common idea with my own personal spin. I hope you like it and can forgive my horrid typing haha. I started writing it years ago and finally finished it. A lot of it is to the script but, with my own twist on it. The beginning is very Spike and Buffy friendly but I m an ultimate B/A fan, it will end that way! Hope you like it.

SUMMARY - Buffy, Spike and Willow feel it when the AI team take out Angel's soul. A lot more comes out of a trip to L.A. and the Sunnydale team ends up with help from the L.A. gang. They go through the motions of getting Angel back and then move to save the world From the first which had been pulling strings in both cities. Buffy and Angel finally get thier chance but at what price?

DISCLAIMER - None of it's mine or Cordy and Riley would be locked in a cage with some of Oz's werewolf buddies on a full moon.

RATINGS - It will change throughout the story but i think if you can watch it you can read it!

Chapter 1 - It's Starting

-L.A. - Angelus in a cage-

Cordelia stared into Angelus' eyes through the metal bars, "You and I are gonna make a deal."

Angel did what he always did; Mock her, "Tough. Did you practice that in front of the mirror a few times? Lemme guess. You want to know about the Beast."

"Everything you know."

Angelus started to pace, "Oh. And in return, I get what? Wouldn't mind a car. I hear the new Mustang is nice."

Cordelia got real serious, "Something better."

Suddenly the vampire was intrigued, "What's a better ride than a Mustang?"

Cordelia spoke without hesitation or fear, "Me."

"You?"

Cordelia stood by her word, "That's the offer. No more stalling, no more games. You tell us what you know, you get me."

Angel started to laugh uncontrollably, "Why would I want you?"

Cordelia stood a little taken back, "Why wouldn't you?"

As he calmed down he explained, "Sorry to disappoint Cordy but the only thing I would do to you is the obvious ravage and rape. All this sexual tension, all this hatred, all this passion inside me; Well I've been savin it all up for one girl and one girl only!"

Cordelia lost the cool and calm she had walked down there with, "Buffy!"

"You got it!"

Since Cordelia needed the info and she wasn't about to let Angelus see her jealousy she went with it, "What if I can get you her?"

Angelus shook his head slowly and spoke as if he was entranced with the memory he was watching in his head, "Half the fun with her is the chase." With an evil smile he came out of his trance and looked right at Cordy again, "Here's the deal though, I'll tell you everything about the beast if you can get the slayer to L.A."

Cordelia considered it and agreed, "I can. I don't know what good it's going to do you. You're not getting out of this cage."

Angel was all excited, "I'll worry about that."

"So what do I need to know?"

Angelus let out a sigh as if they should have already known all this, "He's probably working for someone bigger. Yea right a big hunk of rock has a brain." He laughed a little, "Man you guys are stupid. You've heard of the Svea Priestesses? Very powerful, big into banishing."

Upstairs people finally payed attention to the monitor and walked downstairs with Wesley in the lead, "I have"

Angelus glanced his way, "Well then you would know that the person rock guy is working for probably killed them before they could banish him again. No hope, sorry guys."

Wesley shrugged that off, "Then we're just going to have to bring back Angel."

Angelus wasn't even scared, "Good you do that."

Everyone walked upstairs with Cordelia as the last to leave. Angelus smiled at her with his evil grin and whispered just loud enough for her to hear him, "I can smell the betrayal all over you."

Cordy ignored him and ran upstairs when she heard Fred scream. Gunn explained for Cordy, "His souls missing!"

-Sunnydale - Few days later-

Buffy just finished slamming the door on Giles' face. She has never spoken to her watcher...to her father in that way and meant every word. Buffy stood there on the other side and stared at the door for what seemed like hours but was only minutes. She couldn't believe the man she thought would never hurt her...did! She shrugged and thought about how she held that assumption for every man in her life but in some way or another they had hurt her. Even Xander, her best friend had hurt her time and time again. He only supported her or understood her when it came to something he wanted for her. He couldn't be sensitive about Spike, about Angel or running away. She loved him more then a lot of people in her life but he was deep down just another man.

Then she thought about Angel. It still hurt just to think about his name after all of these years. The one man she loves more then any of them and yet he was the one to hurt her the most which started the domino effect of men equal mistrust. He had went evil but she had to kill him, he came back and he tried to kill himself and then she told him that she needed a little space. After that she thought they would be okay, that since they had worked through everything they would still be together for a long time coming, but then he broke her heart and left for L.A. Since the moment he left town she had only seen him five times and all were under intense and bad circumstances. She still loved him with everything she had but she couldn't find it in her heart to believe that he still loved her.

She also thought Riley loved her which may have actually been true. Maybe he loved her too much and she couldn't love him enough. When he showed up a year later and married she couldn't even tell him everything she wanted to when she was too late. Riley was supposed to be the one for her, he was supposed to be the one that never left her, that she could settle down with and maybe him leaving was partly her fault but the fact she didn't have time to fix it is what still kept her blaming him for thier break-up.

At least she'll always know that Spike still loves her. He's the one who had physically hurt her the most! It was so much simpler when they hated each other but as she stood still staring at her shut door she couldn't imagine being as strong as she had to be without him. Buffy thought about every single way he had hurt her and then thought about how that was the reason she had even allowed herself to get close to him. Since he had showed up with a soul though everything had been different. He was still the person she'd run to, the person she needed to depend on and despite the fact she couldn't love him and he knew it he was still always going to be there. When Giles had made that plan with Principle Wood Buffy had considered the possibility of her being too late. Even as a slayer Spike being ash was one of the scariest thoughts Buffy had ever had. Who would be there for her if he wasn't? The slayer would never be sure if it was love she felt for him or if he was just a best friend that had special insights into her life because he understood her more.

Suddenly Buffy started blaming herself for the distance between all these men in her life. Now usually shed go to Xander about all her questions and problems with men but he wouldn't understand her fear tonight when Spike almost died, he would side with Giles. She couldn't go to Giles because there was too much anger still lingering and she wasn't ready to explain how much she needed Spike to him, she wasn't even sure he'd listen. So she grabbed the doorknob and took a deep breath as she decided there was only one man left in this house who would give her the answers she needed to hear. Buffy opened her door making sure that Giles wasn't still there and walked downstairs. She was determined to find out what was wrong with her and if it was even her, from the only man she "Connected" with and hadn't left her. She passed a bunch of girls sleeping in the living room and quietly opened the basement door. I guess it was extremely quiet because when she peaked downstairs Spike hadn't noticed her. Buffy saw him fixing a few cuts and bruises. She suddenly felt guilty and stupid for falling for Giles and Robin's trick!

Spike put the antiseptic down and stared at his non-esistent reflection in the mirror. "Damn Bugger."

Buffy couldn't help but mock him, "Looks like you got your ass kicked!"

That surprised him and he backed up right into the punching bag. They both smiled and then his face went straight. "What are you doing down here slayer? People will suspect things."

Buffy smiled and played along, "Oh they all have crushes on you and I love it when girls are jealous of me. Let their imaginations wander!"

They both smiled and enjoyed their little flirtatious moment but during the silence that followed Spike got a little worried from the look in the slayer's eyes, "You okay pet?"

Buffy moved towards the bed as they both sat down and leaned against the wall, "That's kind of what I needed to ask you." Spike looked completely confused so she just continued, "Spike, when I came back you know after I died, you told me there was something wrong with me."

It took him by surprise but he answered honestly, "I was evil then." Spike could sense though, she was going to need more of an explanation then that, "I meant it then, You know when I wanted to get in your pants."

Buffy winked now, "You don't want to get in my pants anymore?"

"Well I do but...I know that's not going to happen though. I stopped dreaming of the mini Spike juniors and midnight picnics in the cemeteries a long time ago luv."

"Well I was thinking I could just lend you a pair if you really wanted to" They both put on a smile and then Buffy's smile went straight as she got back to business, "I just mean.... I've been thinking alot tonight about me and the men in my life. I found out tonight that even the ones I love tend to hurt me. You should know! I just needed to talk to the only guy I've "Been" with and find out why you're still here and they're not."

Spike shrugged actually unsure of what to say, "I can't give you an answer to that. I could go on for hours about why I'm still here and then I could repeat the reasons your ex lovers gave you for not being here but you'd be in the exact same place. I can tell you there's nothing wrong with you, well actually you're a little high maintenance and too into your work but other then that..."

Buffy hit him softly with a pillow knowing he was pretty beet up already. She half smiled and then looked Spike in the eye, "Is it okay with you that we're just..." She paused not knowing what to call them, "...whatever the hell we are?"

Spike smiled and wrapped his bloody hand around hers, "If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be. I already told you that I got over the happily ever after Buffy but I still love you. Plus slayer, there's always hope." She smiled a small smile and looked down knowing she couldn't say it back." Spike knew though, that if she was bringing up all the men in her life then Angel was defenitely on her mind and she wouldn't bring up whatever she was thinking so he knew he would have to. "You and Angel deary had a relationship without sex, I am sure you and me will do just fine. Brother and sister even!"

Buffy looked surprised that Spike had brought up Angel but knew she should have seen it coming. She didn't want to talk about him because she could go on for hours so she just said what she really went down there to say, "I just want to know why he could say he loved me and yet he could leave me." She shrugged though letting Spike know that part of the conversation was over. She rested her head on his shoulder causing him to shiver a little, "So Big Bro You up for a work out? Or are you a little to injured to take me on?"

A work out to release all her feelings was just what she needed and Spike wasn't about to deny a round with the slayer he hadn't been able to take out. They both stood while Spike walked to tape up his hands. Spike had to admit he wasn't up to full strength seeing as half his bones were broken but no violent vampire turns down a round with this slayer.

When he was finished Spike winked at her as he walked towards the stairs, "Backyard luv?" When she nodded they both walked upstairs and outside. The backyard was huge and a perfect place. It was amazing how both of them had grown to this, had grown to being able to depend on each other through violence. Suddenly they both realized that maybe they were just meant to be brother and sister like. They stood in thier fighting stances, "Don't hold back pet!"

-Meanwhile In L.A-

The AI team just stood staring at the window Angelus had just escaped out of after draining Lilah. After he was gone they all ran to Cordy hearing her cries of pain the arrow impended in her leg had caused her. "Is she Okay?" Gunn asked Conner

"She's lost a lot of blood but..."

Cordy interrupted, "Where's Angelus?"

Gunn answered, "Gone. He killed Lilah."

Cordy reacted, "Oh, God. It's started." There upon her face was a subtle evil grin.

-Back in Sunnydale-

Spike was now wearing his game face and for once Buffy was flat on her back. That didn't last long though because at the moment Spike gave her a cocky grin Buffy kicked his shins which caused Spike to topple over. They were both up quickly now and circled for a while until she kicked him in the side of his face and he flew. That was when Willow entered the backyard.

She didn't say anything until she saw Spike land hard. With a smile she finally spoke, "Sorry to interrupt guys."

She was about to go inside when Buffy started a mini conversation about where they stood with the First. Spike was grateful for the time out, it gave him time to recuperate although he'd never tell the slayer that stood a few feet away from him. The first conversation was over but then Buffy smiled at Willow letting her know something was on her mind, "Willow, do you think I m a lesbian?"

Spike tuned in at the wrong part of that conversation and fell back to the ground laughing a little bit. Willow too giggled at Buffy's reaction to that night's events. Buffy agreed the question was silly and shook her head, "What? Okay I get it! So there isn't something wrong with me there! No offence Will."

"It's okay I understand. Wait, no I don't. Why would there be something wrong with you?"

Spike had to answer and stuck up a finger for each name he spoke as if he was counting, "My grand-sire, Riley, Giles, Xander and Me."

That cleared it up for willow by the look on her face. Spike hopped off the ground and before Buffy could explain more to Willow he noticed the slayer was shivering. As Spike touched her arm Willow walked over to touch the other arm. Spike felt this flow of energy first but when he looked at Buffy he saw her head look up and figured she'd feel it too. Willow continued to feel the energy and all of a sudden it became a little too powerful that they were all thrown about two feet away from each other in a triangle shape. Each one of them knew what it was from the feeling the blow gave them.

"ANGEL!"