I had an idea, and I wanted to write it. Soooo…. Yea. Here ya go. This one's Gratsu, too. So yep. Some fluff, mostly just angst, but whatever.
Warnings?: Blood, yaoi (fluff. I don't do lemons or kissy-kissy stuff), cruddy writing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
-FT-
How many times had he ever said 'I'm fine'?
How many times had he ever asked people 'Are you okay', and for no one to ever say it back?
How many times had he ever comforted someone in their darkest moments, only for no one to ever comfort him?
He supposed it was because of his smile. As long as his guildmates saw it, they knew absolutely nothing could be wong.
It was one of the many things that he hated about himself. His ability to spread false hope, even when he had none.
But now, he couldn't even bring himself to smile, fake or not. Life had just thrown a wrecking ball into his stomach, leaving him heaving and gasping for air.
What was everyone doing? Not really caring about the residential dragon slayer, only really worrying about themselves.
My name is Zeref Dragneel. I'm your older brother, Natsu.
If I die, you die too.
Etherious Natsu Dragneel. E.N.D.
His hand rose up to tap his cheek, wincing as he realized he hadn't bothered to wrap it up or get it healed. Blood stained his hand, promptly drying. He didn't really care.
Zeref Dragneel.
Older brother.
You'll die too.
E.N.D.
He was a demon. A monster. He wouldn't dare blame that on his brother, (hell, it felt so wrong to say that), because he was sure he'd of done the same.
"Onii-san…"
"Natsu! What are you doing just sitting around? We need to prepare for," Lucy stomped up behind him, pausing as she took in his saddened features and bloodied wounds, "What happened to you?! I swear, if you were fighting with Gray again, Erza'll have your head-"
"It's fine. I wasn't fighting him." I can't even face him right now. Who knows what he'll say- what he'll do! 'I can't love a monster!' Is that what'd he'd say?
"At least get Wendy to heal you up!" The blonde put her hand on the gash, only for him to growl and pull away. "Natsu! This is going to scar if you leave it! Come on, WENDY!" Natsu abruptly stood up, an angered scowl on his face.
"...n-no! I-I don't need it healed. I'm fine." Natsu's eyes met her chocolate one's, and she shook her head.
"What's gotten into you? Didn't you hear me? It'll scar! Dear Mavis, you're being so childish right now!" She grabbed his hand and turned her head around, calling out again for the petite healer. "WEN-"
"I said NO!" He pulled his hand away, hating himself for the fear and concern that flashed over Lucy's face. Suddenly, it felt like he couldn't breathe. He took a step back, wishing he could shrink away from all the stares everyone was giving him. He took a final look at Lucy, before dashing away.
"NATSU?!" It didn't matter. None of it did. He just needed to be able to breathe again.
After a few minutes, he broke through a patch of bushes that surrounded a small lake. Water. It's almost like I'm always drawn to water when I'm upset. He didn't even have the heart to chuckle at his own thought. Insead, his legs gave out and he crashed to the ground, burying face into his bloody hands. An ugly sob ripped out of his throat, and tears slipped down his cheeks.
"DAMMIT!" He threw his fist into the ground, specks of dirt flying up. He curled up, hunched over and back arched. His head was buried under his chest and arms. Odd screams and cries left his lips, each sounding pathetic to him.
He cried for everything, everything that had happened. Igneel's disappearance, his death, Lisanna's supposed one, Simon and all. "IT'S NOT FAIR!"
"I know…" He hadn't been expecting a reply. He rose his head, coming out of the ball he had been in. Zeref.
Natsu must have looked like a mess to the older boy, snot running out of his nose and tears down his face, but regardless, the dark mage wrapped him into a hug. The pinkette let his tears, blood, and snot stain his brother's robes, letting out his stupid sobs.
Once they had died down to whimpers, Zeref spoke up, voice soft and calming.
"Whenever you were upset, we'd sit in my bed and I'd hold you like this… I remember once, right after our parents died, I had thought you had fallen asleep. I broke down, and you came into my room and you hugged me," he laughed softly, "it wasn't really a hug. You were half asleep, quite out of it, so you only really ended up leaning against me. But you tried. Sometimes I wonder if it was really me filling the older brother role."
Natsu didn't respond. He only clenched Zeref's white sache, burying his face into the crook of the black-haired male's neck.
"You didn't cry, and you tried so hard to help, even after you got sick. I- thank you for never giving up." The dragonslayer could feel his own vest and skin growing wet. Zeref was crying too.
"You're such a crybaby…" Natsu whispered. He shuddered at his scratchy voice. "I don't remember. I wish I did, oh god! I lost everything! I can't even imagine how you felt when I didn't recognise you! Hell, I attacked you the first time we met!"
Zeref's hold tightened. "It's not your fault. Igneel and I- we had to take your memories away... "
"I don't want to have to kill you. I just want to be- be this again!" Natsu sobbed.
"Brothers again? It can't happen… I've done so many bad things and this curse-"
"NATSU!"
The pinkette tensed up against his brother's body, gripping the black cloth hard enough to tear it. He felt Zeref try to peel him away, but he didn't. "I don't want to leave you-"
"Natsu! Get the hell away from him!" The magical energy in the area increased. Someone was powering up an attack, to hit Zeref.
"N-NO!" Just as the attack was yelled, Natsu was on his feet, arms spread. "DON'T HURT MY BROTHER!" An icy spear ripped through the slayer's shoulder, another tearing through his knee. A third dug into his stomach, piercing his back.
Natsu screamed, and could hear both male's yell out his name as he collapsed. He sluggishly blinked, watching Zeref retreat and Gray turn him over, onto his back. His hand ghosted up, reaching towards the disappearing black cloak, before it fell limp.
"Dear Mavis… Keep your eyes open! I'm so sorry.. Just stay awake. You can do that for me, right? Oh god!" There as an increase of pressure on his stomach and shoulder, before he was picked up. Natsu let his head fall against Gray's bare chest- Where had his shirt gone? "Come on Natsu! Focus on me! You can do that for me, right?" The pinkette's eyes met Gray's jaw, trailing up to blueish-black, fear filled eyes.
The ice mage held him close, as if that would save him. "G-ray… Zeref….."
"Zeref can't hurt you anymore. It's all going to be okay.."
Natsu lazily pawed Gray's chest. "'Mm fine.. Put me down, 'mm fine…"
"Like hell! You're bleeding like crazy! Just hang in there… WENDY! PORLYUSICA!" Gray was running, Natsu realized. The younger boy began to struggle against the other's strong grasp.
"Zeref! I need to go to Zeref! Put me down! ZEREF!" Natsu screamed his brother's name, only for it to be swept into the wind. "ONII-CHAN!" The dragonslayer willed his body to erupt in flames, causing Gray to shriek. He felt Gray stop, the devil slayer's grip loosen and his body slam into the ground. Using his good leg, Natsu swept it under the other male, letting him crash into the ground alongside him, before he forced himself to stand. He let his flames temporarily mend his wounds, cringing at the pain.
He could walk. That's all that mattered. "NII-CHAN!" It was more of a stumbling limp, and he soon crashed to the ground again as the floor was covered in ice. Flames gathered in the pinkette's hand, and he melted the ice around him, turning it into steam. Away. Nii-chan… I need to get to Nii-chan. He pushed himself to his knees with a cry, getting onto his feet in more time that it should've.
"Dammit! Just stay down and let me help you!" Gray tackled him, Natsu's head between the taller boy's hands, their faces inches from each others. The slayer's took in deep breaths, and the fire mage couldn't will enough strength to form for him to shove the ice mage off him. "And why the hell are you calling Zeref your brother!?"
Natsu felt stupid, he couldn't stop the endless amount of tears from streaming down his face. He put his arm across his eyes to hide from Gray's gaze and spoke. "He's my damn brother! And I just wanted us to be us again! I wanted to be brother's again!"
"Zeref… Dragneel? That's not possible..?"
"It is, dammit! I just- I don't know!" Natsu growled to himself, hating every part of this, but he felt Gray lean closer.
"How long have you know…?" Natsu moved his arm so he could meet the other boy's gaze.
"Since I came back, earlier…" he hesitant replied. Why couldn't Gray just leave him alone?!
"And you didn't tell me? You know I'm here, Natsu. I thought we went over this!" The words slammed into Natsu like the trains he despised, and he couldn't help in when his vision watered over. Again.
"I'll love you no matter what. Even if the world thinks you're a monster, even if you're related to a literal dark mage, nothing could ever change how I feel about you! So just talk to me, Natsu! Please!" All Natsu could do was nod, he didn't trust his voice. The only words he whispered next was one he hadn't ever said before.
"I love you and I'm so sorry!" Natsu broke down into sobs for the second time that day, as Gray sat up, and pulled Natsu into his lap. "I'm sorry!"
"It's all okay now.. Let's go see Wendy now, okay?" Gray picked Natsu up, yet again, bridal style. Neither really cared if they were drenched in Natsu's blood and tears. All that mattered was each other. Gray pressed a kiss to Natsu's forehead.
"It's all okay."
It's okay.
We're okay.
You're okay.
I'm okay.
And from the trees, Zeref couldn't help but smile. His little brother had found such a good family, but of course his own brother was going to have to be the one to take it all away. I'm so sorry, Natsu. Comforting you was a mistake. You should've just continued on hating me.
-FT-
La fin. I'm so sorry, that was cruddy but I like one shots. Angst and fluff. I can't write fluff. Oh well. Have a great day!