YES EIEN I DID IT, I WROTE IT. NOW EAT YOUR BOOK.

I totally messed with the ages of some of the characters in order to make this work.

Also, most teachers aren't anything like Cobra. But this is COBRA.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail

The Scarlet Family
Prologue

The class of freshman waited with bated breath for the signal that the day's tortuous lesson was finally over, and that they could be free to enjoy the good things in life once more.

Good things that they all collectively believed their terrifying professor was incapable of understanding and/or feeling - a conclusion they had come to in the scant five minutes they'd known the man.

"Hey!" the professor shouted, catching onto the inattentiveness all around. "You've still got fifty minutes left, so I want all your fucking eyes up here! I'm not teaching you this shit for my health, and you're all here because you chose to take this goddamn class for whatever shit degree you're pursuing. So get the most out of your exorbitant tuition fees and fucking pay attention when I talk!"

Suddenly, the dark-skinned man holding court over the frozen masses whipped around to stare straight at one blond in particular. "Mr. Eucliffe," he snarled. "I see that fucking phone. Worse - I hear it. Have some fucking respect for your peers and yourself and put it the fuck away already!"

With a squeak, the student scrambled to put the device away. "Yessir!" As soon as the professor stalked away, he turned to his dark-haired neighbor. "Dude, how the hell did he see that with only one eye?!"

"Mr. Eucliffe."

Jumping, the young man looked up into his professor's single indigo eye - which was now narrowed at him dangerously. "Congratulations. You are observant enough to realize that I'm missing an eye," the older man hissed, reminiscent of the serpents the class would be studying over the course of the semester. A thick scar ran down his face, permanently closing one of the orbs set into it. The other, however, more than compensated for the missing organ by concentrating all the baleful energy most people could only summon with two whole ones into his stare. "I may have only one eye," the professor said slowly, emphasizing each word with the utmost care, "but my ears work perfectly fine. So I suggest you keep comments like that inside your damn skull."

Only once he had the undivided attention of the room did he retreat.

"Now then! My name is Dr. Erik Scarlet, and yes I have a motherfucking doctorate so respect the title. It's either Dr. Scarlet, or as Mr. Eucliffe correctly intuited, it's 'Sir.'" The professor glanced around the room for dissenters. There were none. "Now, I'll be hopefully filling your brains full of important information on the types of toxins in the world, along with their various uses and dangers. Since I don't believe in bullshitting, or wasting your valuable time along with mine, let's get started."

"Hey."

With a soft groan, the student sitting next to the blond the professor had just berated, turned towards his neighbor. "What is it, Sting?!" he demanded in a low tone.

"Uh... Rogue? Did I ever tell him my name?"

The brunet rolled his crimson eyes at his best friend's question. "We literally just had roll-call."

"Yeah but... he remembered who I was? Just from that?"

Before another word was uttered, a piece of chalk went flying at mach speed past the pair, narrowly missing Sting's head. Hitting the desk behind them, the chalk poofed into a cloud of white dust.

"Now that I have your attention, Mr. Eucliffe. Mr. Cheney," Erik Scarlet stated calmly, as if he hadn't just thrown a piece of chalk at his students hard enough to vaporize the object upon contact. "Perhaps you can lead the class discussion on what the nature of toxins are."

"Holy shit!" Sting breathed, finally escaping the class. Spending the rest of the hour in that course with Dr. Scarlet had not left him with a better impression of the professor than the first few minutes had. In fact, the blond nineteen year old was fully convinced his latest college professor was part reptile.

Behind him, Rogue Cheney, also nineteen years of age, exited the lecture.

Sting leaned against the stone wall just outside the room they had just vacated and breathed heavily. "What kind of gangster was that man before he became a teacher?!"

"I wasn't," a baritone voice rumbled behind Sting.

A yelp emanating from his throat, Sting jumped about a foot into the air at the unexpected appearance of the very scary man he had just gossiped unfavorably about.

Said professor wore a rather smug expression, as Sting leaned even harder against the wall for support.

"Don't scare me like that!" Sting wheezed, his heart doing its damnedest to escape his rib cage.

"You forgot your laptop in the room." Holding out the object to the flabbergasted student, Dr. Scarlet snorted. "Moron."

Startled, Sting was unable to reply to the insult. Once the machine had been transferred back into his custody, he stuttered, "Uh... thanks."

"Don't forget it again," the professor warned. Just then, his phone rang with the most generic tone Sting had ever heard. Turning away from his students, he muttered, "Have a nice day, you two." Not waiting on a response from the pair, he answered his phone. "Lucy. What's going on?" He started to walk away. "No, I'm not going to forget. ...You were the one who forgot last year. ...What do you mean by, 'my turn now?'"

"...Whoa," Sting mumbled, staring after his new teacher.

"That was unexpected," Rogue observed. "But we're going to be late. Come on."

Wendy dropped her fork, her eyes wide at what her two friends were saying. "You had Cobra for your first class?" she asked, not bothering to retrieve her utensil.

"Cobra? Fits!" Sting stated.

Rogue rolled his eyes and handed their mutual friend a new plastic fork. Long association with Sting meant that he always grabbed extras at lunch. Same with napkins.

"Thanks, Rogue." Wendy took the proffered object. "He's a good professor - you'll learn a lot in that class if you pay attention," she advised, returning to eating her salad.

Sting eyed her with caution. "So why the weird reaction, then?"

The bluenette smiled weakly. "I was just a little surprised, is all. He's... um... the older brother of a friend of my brothers'."

"Seriously?" questioned Sting. "Small world, I guess. Hey, I've got a question for you, then! Who's Lucy?"

"His wife," she answered.

"That bastard managed to get himself a wife?!" the blond teenager blurted out.

"Um... yeah? Erik's been married for about... three years, now? It was a lovely ceremony." Wendy's eyes glazed over in recollection. "Although, he did throw a few fits during the whole thing. Then again, Natsu did set fire to the venue, so..."

The group collectively sweatdropped. "Yeah, that sounds like Natsu," Sting muttered, embarrassed over the actions of his childhood idol. "But that's another person in common, which surprises me. Hey - do you have a picture of this?"

"Sure." Bringing out her phone, Wendy scrolled through her album. "Here."

Indeed, there was a photo on her screen of a young man with flaming pink hair standing beside a conflagration looking chagrined. The familiar maroon-haired visage of Sting and Rogue's new professor was beside the pyromaniac, clearly shouting at him. Off to the side, however, stood the most beautiful woman either Sting or Rogue had ever seen. Blonde, and still in her wedding dress, it was pretty obvious that she was the bride. She was laughing at the proceedings, unconcerned by the fact that her wedding had just literally gone up in flames.

"Holy shit!" Sting swore. "How the fuck did he land a fox like that, with that personality! Much less keep her!"

Rogue cuffed his long-time friend upside the head. "Don't be rude."

Wendy giggled at the pair. "I can tell you story, if you like? It's kind of long and convoluted, though," she offered and warned in the same breath. "And I kinda have to start with Erza - his sister. She introduced them, and Natsu and Gray played a big part, so..."

"Tell me!" Sting demanded.

"I have to admit that I'm curious as well," Rogue said, much more softly.

Smiling, Wendy nodded. "Okay, then! Now... where should I begin, precisely..."

And thus begins the tale of how the Scarlet family came to be.