Pinky and the Brain Hack the World Part 1: Your Meme Is Not Funny
By WarnerGuy
Inside the dark rooms of Acme Labs, it seems like it's the same old thing that happens every night. Brain is trying desperately to formulate a plan to take over the world while Pinky does something simple
Tonight, Brain was typing away at a miniature laptop while Pinky keeps running on his hamster wheel. Taking no notice of Pinky, Brain walks up to one of the lab computers and connects a cable from his laptop to the big machine.
Brain presses a button on his laptop and within seconds, the lab computer screen distorts and goes funny. After about a minute, the screen is fixed, but with a large photo of Brain's head with the caption "CITIZENS OF THE WORLD. I AM YOUR RULER" in large bold impact font. "Yes Pinky, I've finally done it!"
Pinky falls off the wheel, rolls and lands on his but. "You've finally apologised to Ellen DeGeneres over insulting her pants? Narf!" Brain frowns at Pinky and explains his plan. "No Pinky. I have finally created my own meme. You see Pinky, these days the simplest things attract the largest amusement for those on the Internet, whether it be dancing Korean singers or videos of felines doing... whatever it is they do."
Pinky stares at the meme and starts to squint, "Well it's not very funny Brain."
"It doesn't need to be funny, as this is actually a video with a very faint hypnotic suggestion swirling around. Watch." Brain unmutes the computer. The speakers start broadcasting, "Citizens of the world. You will find this amusing and obey its message."
Pinky starts to panic and runs towards the speakers, "Brain! Oh my gosh! You're in there! Don't worry Brain I'll get you out!" Pinky runs off to find a hammer but when he turns, he sees Brain. "I'm right here Pinky," Brain says annoyed. "Oh, that's good. I though one of those monsters ate you!" Pinky replied
"Moving on. Tonight, I plan to hack into every computer in the world and fill their screens with this meme. When the people find amusement in this photo, the world will search for me, and make me their ruler!" Brain says with glee
"Egad, brilliant Brain! Oh wait, no no. Are there a lot of firewalls and government security codes you'll need to get past?" Pinky asked
"Hmm, you might be on to something there Pinky," Brain pondered
"Troz! I am?!" Pinky said excited
Brain walked off and started to think, when Pinky accidentally turned on the TV. The news was on and had a report. "Earlier tonight, freedom rights activist Julio Massage walked into the Ecuadorian embassy in London seeking protection after he claimed that the US government were conspiring against him to put him behind bars. Massage is the world-famous hacker whose site Stickybeaks have revealed embarrassing secret documents from many world governments, including President Obama's secret love of Krispy Kreme doughnuts "
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Brain asked
"I think so Brain, but how many sugars do you get actually get in a packet of sugar?"
"Well one out of two ain't bad." Brain said to himself. "No Pinky, we shall fly to London and infiltrate the Ecuadorian embassy and asked Julio to hack into every computer in the world to broadcast my message"
"London! I've always wanted to go to London again. This time, can I tip the palace guards over? It looks like so much fun! Narf!" Pinky pleaded.
"We'll have plenty of time to do that after we take over the world." Brain assured. "To London and then the World"
"Oh you always get your way," Pinky whinged.
And so, through their small size and stealth tactics, Pinky and the Brain managed to sneak onto a jumbo jet bound for London.
Walking towards the Ecuadorian embassy, they passed the gates of Buckingham Palace, with the palace guards in their distinctive red uniforms, standing ever so still, not budging for anything.
Unknown to Brain, Pinky starts walking in the direction of the guard and starts to push on his leg. He pushed and pushed, stop and panted, and then pushed some more.
Then suddenly, almost like a miracle, for the second time this story, he had an idea. It was something his sister tried (yes it was a spool of yarn but apparently it's Pinky's sister)
He climbed up the body of the palace guard until he was on the top of his tall hat and slowly moved his fingers across his eyes and…
POKE!
The guard started jumping around shouting "Ow" many times over. Pinky fell of the guard to the ground where Brain was waiting for him. "Having fun?" he said sarcastically. Pinky was too busy laughing.
The guard finally spoke in a very British accent, "You stupid American tourists, you always find some way to annoy me,"
Brain decided to correct the guard, "Actually we're two genetically-altered Amercian lab mice travelling to London to find the world's greatest hacker in a fiendish attempt to take over the world."
But the guard was having none of that explanation, "I don't care. Shoo! Before I get 007 onto you."
"Come Pinky, before I have to put you in a Quantum of Solace," Brain said
"I have no idea what you just said Brain, narf!" Pinky replied
As Pinky and the Brain walked off, the Warners are being chased out of Buckingham Palace, followed by a British Ralph the Guard and the entire royal family, including the Queen. Heaven knows what they did to be chased by all of the royal family
Some time later, the two lab mice finally reached the Ecuadorian embassy, surrounded other freedom rights protesters who look like they stepped out of a time machine from the 1960s. "We finally made it Pinky, the Ecuadorian embassy…" he opened up a blueprint of the building, "…now Pinky, we shall stealthily climb this drain pipe, where there are air vents circulating to every room in th- Pinky! What are you doing?"
While Brain was taking, Pinky was just walking to the front door and before Brain could stop him, he knocked on the door. Surprisingly, the door opened by Sultana Sultana. "Hello Mr and Mrs Feldman, what brings you to this little shack in the city?"
Brain was very surprised, "Mr Sultana? What are you doing here?"
"I am Ecuadorian citizen as well as American. Isn't that great? I've been very busy you know with Mr 'I'm going to hack the internet' other here, but he's a very good checkers player."
"Yes, well, that's who we wish to see, Mr Massage," Brain asked
"Well, he's very busy at the moment plotting his world domination strategy but I'm sure you two are very good friends mhmmm." Sultana Sultana raved. "Come in and I'll tell him you've arrived"
Mr Sultana, Pinky and Brain walked into a study where Julio Massage was sitting, crouched over his computer.
"Mr Massage, you're friends the Feldman's are here to check up on you. Now you three play nice together," he says as he chuckled, leaving the three alone to talk about Brain's latest world domination plan
Julio was a very interesting person, he was pale as a sheet, and had hair whiter then an albino rhinoceros. He took no notice of the lab mice for almost three minutes when Brain piped up and said, "Ah, excuse me Mr Massage, I'd like to speak to you for a few minutes about a ve-"
Juilo, without moving a muscule started to go "Shhhhh"
"Zort! I think he's leaking air Brain," Pinky remarked
Juilo, still taking little notice of the others in the room started saying to himself, "This world is a lie, you're governments are a lie, they steal all of your wallets and keys and junk just so they can spy on you! It's a conspiracy man! And it's my job to stop them."
"Yes, that's all well and good, but can you please help us?" Brain said, starting to get annoyed
Julio, now taking his eyes off the computer as he starts to get slightly annoyed looks at Pinky and the Brain and says, "Woah, talking lab mice"
Brain was stunned. He was almost at a loss for words at how after all these years of dealing with people conveniently not able to realise, disguises or not, that they were just two talking lab mice.
Pinky, while all this was happening, was disinterested and started looking around the study, playing with ball of lint gathering in the corner of the room.
Julio, seeing that Brain was too stunned, continued, "I know all about you Brain, how you seek world domination, how you think the world would be a better place and how you put up with that stupid sidekick of yours."
"Well, yes, I guess being a hacker you'd know that," Brain said slightly embarrassed
"So, why come to me?" Julio asked
"I need you to hack into the computers of the world to forcefully upload a hypnotic video so I can rise to power!"
"Mmm, OK. I need to show the governments a thing or two so they can fear my power! Ever since I've been cooped up here, I've been the laughing stock of the hacker world!"
"YES!" Brain yelled
"Hand me that video and I'll have it to the world in 24 hours. Come back then."
Hmm, that was easy, why would a world-famous hacker accept Brains offer to help him? Is there any secret thing in it for him? Is he a double agent? Will Pinky somehow mess everything up. Until next time..."Oh Brain, you are so easy to trust people you don't know..." a familiar deep voice says as the camera remains completely black...
Writers note: I'm not exactly sure where this story will be heading at the moment, but I have a few ideas in my mind for the next chapter. There will be a little wait before the next part arrives, I'm a bit busy atm with real life at the moment :p