Yes. It's another oh-so-original 'write letters to _' fic. Oh joy. *insert sarcasm here*
I kinda hate myself for writing one of these (after all, they're pretty much the scum of the fanfiction world), but screw that and a bottle of maple syrup! ANYWAY! Send in letters to one of the provinces, m'kay?
"Letters? Why should I?" Ontario demanded. He and the rest of his immediate family sat around the dining room table, their adoptive father sitting at the head of said table and looking quite happy that none of his provinces or territories had screamed or chosen the more than likely option of separating from him.
"All of you are going to be part of a pen pal program to strengthen international relations," Matthew replied calmly. While his voice was the same low volume as always, his tone oozed 'no nonsense' more than it did his usual politeness.
"But that's a waste of paper!" Manitoba protested.
Canada held back a small sigh; he'd been expecting this from either the 'friendly' province or BC, and his predictions had been right. The 'beautiful' province nodded in agreement, but didn't look up from her cell phone as she sent a text at the speed of light – after all, what else is there to do when you appear to be a 16 year old girl? Matt's response was the obvious one, of course being "Then use your email address," which seemed to sit well with the scary-mugged man.
"In that case I call dibs on Hong Kong as my penpal," Victoria looked up from her phone for a second to make sure that no one was against the idea. After all, she hadn't had a chance to talk to her 'twin' in quite a while.
"And of course I shall be writing to Papa France!" Jean piped up excitedly. Oh, he'd show those mauvais anglais when he and his père started an empire of French sexiness.
"Kissup," Ontario muttered, not bothering trying to hide the comment from his ex-husband/verbal punching bag.
"Oh, and you were not thinking of pairing up with Angleterre?" the Matthew look-alike didn't have a chance to lie and deny it before the French-Canadian answered from him, "After all, you and Arthur are both depressingly boring. Eh, Olivier?"
"Shut up, asshole!"
"Could you two please not fight?"
"Stay out of this Northwest!" Ontario's snappy reply made the northern girl consider getting out her shotgun, but she thought better of shooting a hole in the ceiling and didn't bother.
"C-could you both calm down? Please?" Matthew begged. Of course his quiet request was ignored, not having been heard by the two, who were now shouting at each other from opposite ends of the room. The nation sighed and took out his cell phone, sending a mass text explaining that they where dismissed and wouldn't be able to choose their pen pals because Harper was a douchebag.
Everyone filed out of the room seconds after receiving the text, save for BC, who hadn't gotten around the installing cameras in that room yet and instead opted to take pictures through the small opening in the closet door. Oh yes, she would definitely be sending these pictures to Elizaveta and Kiku.
Oh BC. How can we not love you :)
For anyone that cares/didn't know, here are the provinces' and territories' human names!
Alberta – Ralph Campbell
British Columbia – Victoria 'Van' Cheung
Manitoba – Ilan Riel
New Brunswick – Marie 'Bonnie' McCain
Newfoundland – Benjamin O'Reilly
Northwest Territories – uh… I dunno? Can you guys help me pick a name?
Nova Scotia – Joel Alexander Mackenzie
Nunavut – Nanook Puqiqnak
Ontario – Oliver Stanley
Prince Edward Island – Anne Montgomery
Quebec – Jean Tremblay
Saskatchewan – Owen Williams
Yukon – Kate Sahneuti
… yeah, I'm using the iammatthewian characters… feel free to kill me for being lazy and unoriginal ^-^
The provinces/territories await your fan squeals, but you gotta sign it with the name of a real place :P
Also, here's some translations for you noobs that don't speak French ^.^
mauvais anglais - litterally means 'bad English', but a real translation would be 'horrible anglophones' or something similar.
père - dad
So click that awesome review button of awesomeness (total Prussia moment lol) and type something!
*insert heart/smiley face/whatever here*