Don't Hear, Don't See

"You cannot read loss, only feel it."

- Memoirs of a Geisha

There were so many warnings, so many signs.

They were all obvious, telling me the Doctor and I would soon separate, but I payed no head to them.

Did it all start when we ran into Sarah Jane Smith?

"You can spend the rest of your life with me. I can't spend the rest of my life with you."

She told me, she warned me the fate of all companions who travel with him… That he would leave them behind and travel on, regardless of their choices or not. And… that he would forget them. He hardly mentioned her to me… during our time together. Will I end up like… her?

No.

That wasn't going to happen.

I wasn't going to end up old and left behind.

It was eternal. I was going to stay with him… Forever.

Then we were in eighteenth century France. In the home of Mademe de Pompadour. She was just so… accepting. She waited and remembered, no matter how long it took the Doctor to save her life. She accepted that she had to walk the slower path… and I barely moved at all. I saw myself walking that path… and it scared me.

But I suppressed those feelings as well to hide my fear.

Fear… of loosing him.

The only person who has ever made me stand up and make a difference in the world, in time and space. Even if it was small, or the odds were against him, against us… we'd be alright at the end of the day. I needed him… and he needed me.

Then we were back home in 2012, just in time for the Olympics.

Another day, another adventure. Everyone was saved; the past, present, and future kept in tact and flowing smoothly.

The Isolus only wanted to replace it's siblings, which is more than anyone can count on a single planet, and it found a kindred spirit in Chloe Webber. No matter how many people the Isolus found, it could never replace the complete total number of family members it had when it was on Earth.

And there will never be anyone as witty and charming like… him.

Another day, another point in time saved. There has been so many dangers and troubles that came our way, but we faced them… and came out alive. It made us bond stronger and it… made me love him so much more.

But, why…

Why couldn't I have seen the signs earlier than I should?

Why didn't I listened to any of the warnings… before he left me?