A/N: Did I ever mention that I love kimi no vanilla's work? Yes, I think I did. But I'll say it again anyways, because she's so awesome. Anyone who hasn't read her stuff seriously needs to go read it, like RIGHT NOW. –cough- And as for this fic…well…you decide for yourself what you think of it…
Angst warning. Big time. Also somewhat morbid, and hints at child-molestation and rape. Don't like, don't read. Spoilers for those who don't know about Sasuke.
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When Sasuke finally came home, Sakura was the first to see him. He'd come straight to her, and on any other day, in any other situation, she would've been happy. But he came to her at night, barely able to walk, fresh blood over most parts of his body. It had taken her a moment to realize that his eyes weren't bleeding, that it was just the sharingan…
"Sakura…" He says her name so quietly, in such a worn out voice, that she is suddenly reminded of the bell training, when Kakashi used the genjutsu on her. This time it wasn't a genjutsu, and this time she didn't faint. But she still cried.
"Get in," she said, in a surprisingly strong voice. He'd walked- limped, really- into her house, and when she closed the door and turned around he was standing in the middle of her living room. Blood was dripping onto her carpet, but she didn't care at the moment.
"Sasuke, where are you hurt?" She asked quietly. He looked at her, and those eyes were staring at her in such a way that it took all of her will power to not run out of her own house.
"Everywhere," was his answer. She bit her lip.
"All that blood, is it…?" She knew it couldn't be all his; no human could bleed that much and live. But was Sasuke really huma- no, don't think like that. He's still Sasuke, not some demon.
"I killed him. Both of them." His voice sounded dead, and she understood, much to her horror, what he meant. For one, anyways. But to focus on more important things right now was better than to dwell on it.
"Sasuke, go take a hot shower. Wash all the blood off, so that I can find where you're hurt." She's surprised that her voice isn't shaking, because her body currently feels like jell-o. He stares at her, blankly, then nods. She walks up to him (the blood smelled horrible, Sasuke smelled like blood, like death), takes his arm (the blood oh god there's so much of it), and leads him to her bathroom. She closes the door and runs to the sink, washing all the blood off her arms and hands with hot water. After Sasuke's done, she needs to get a shower herself.
She hears the water running, and only then does she realize that no one else knows he's back. She considers radioing the Hokage, but then decides not to. Not until she's done healing him.
After half an hour passes by, Sakura gets worried. She knocks on the door, and there's no answer. She opens it (it's not locked, thank god), and sees Sasuke curled up in a ball, his face between his knees like he's sick, and his arms wrapped around himself tightly. Most of the blood has been washed away, at least, but the water is steaming, and Sasuke's skin is red and doesn't it hurt? Sakura quickly turns off the water, and Sasuke doesn't look up, but he begins to shiver. She can tell that he hasn't really washed himself up, so she puts the plug in the bathtub and starts running the water again, warm, but not overly hot this time.
Seeing Sasuke naked, while it may have made her blush and swoon were she four years younger, didn't have much of an effect on her at the moment. It scared her a little, truth be told, because there were so many scars and slashes and punctures. Most of them, she could tell, had occurred while he was gone.
She went to work right away on healing the still somewhat bleeding wounds, and as she let her chakra flow through his body, he looked at her. She couldn't bear to return the gaze.
After she was finished, she went to work on Sasuke's hair, scrubbing at it, sometimes rough, sometimes gentle, so that all the blood, wet and dry, would get out of it. The bathroom now smelled like a mixture of death and strawberries. It made Sakura feel sick.
It wasn't until she'd pulled the plug and the water began to drain that she realized that she had no clothes for the Uchiha. His weren't in any condition to be wearing.
"I'll be right back, so stay here," she says quietly. He doesn't say anything and she leaves. When she's out of the house, she gags. The smell won't leave her nose.
She runs to Naruto's small apartment, and she's thankful that it's not too far. When she gets there and makes her request, he gives her a strange look. She'd already expected that, however, and begged him to just do her this favor, and told him that she'd explain later. Sighing, he had given in and given her a spare change of his clothes, a black t-shirt and tan pants; Sasuke looked about the same size as Naruto, at least. She thanked him quickly and ran back, and for the first time since she'd started living alone, she dreaded gong into her house.
Sasuke, apparently, had taken it upon himself to get up and dry himself off, finding a towel on the rack, and was now sitting with it wrapped around his waist. He looked at the clothes Sakura handed to them, taking them and sniffing lightly.
"Naruto." Sakura nods, slightly worried. But Sasuke's tone isn't angry or hateful; it's just empty. Maybe that just scared her more.
"Yes, they're Naruto's."
"Does he know I'm here?" He asks, not even looking at her.
"No. No one does, I wanted to make sure that I could heal you first," Sakura said softly. When he does look at her, she notices that his eyes are back to normal. Still empty, but they were now the charcoal black ones that she remembered.
"Oh." She leaves the room for a few minutes, going into hers so that she can give him a little privacy while he gets dressed. She still felt sick, and resolved to drink something later on to settle her nerves a little better. She goes back out within a few minutes, and he's dressed, and for a minute, she's reminded of the old Sasuke, before he turns to look at her.
"What happened?" The question that had been burning in her mind since he'd arrived was now being asked, and Sakura could only hope that there would be an answer.
"I left. I killed Itachi, and I killed that other bastard. Kakashi was right." Sasuke's voice was bitter now, and Sakura flinched. She didn't know what he was talking about entirely, but she understood one thing; this was not the same Sasuke that she used to know.
"What…other bastard?" Sakura hesitates because she's afraid of the answer. But what scares her more is that he doesn't give her an answer, instead choosing to give her a glare that made her want to close her eyes and scream.
"Sasuke-kun…I'll tell Tsunade-sama that you're here now…" she said quietly.
"Don't."
"W-Why?"
"Not yet. Just wait…" Sasuke curls up into a ball again, and he looks so fragile, with the moonlight spilling in from the windows and onto his pale skin, his still damp, dark hair clinging to his skin...just like a child, vulnerable. But Sakura can see in Sasuke's eyes that killing people probably comes second nature to him now. He could probably slit her throat without so much as blinking. This thought makes her cry, and she sinks to the floor, sobbing. She was doing so well at keeping it in, too.
"Sasuke-kun, please, let me tell Tsunade-sama, or Naruto, or Kakashi-sensei- just let me tell someone! Please…" She had promised herself that she wouldn't be weak like this. She had promised. Sasuke looked at her, eyes hard, like chips of black ice.
"Naruto. You can tell Naruto. And in the morning, you can tell Tsunade. I just want to rest right now. I want to be able to sleep, for once. To sleep and not have to think." Sakura doesn't understand, but she nods anyways. Then she gets up and radios Naruto. The pain in her throat makes it hard to speak.
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Naruto didn't know what to think when he saw Sasuke. The first thing that had really registered in his mind was the horrible smell that he always associated with death. Then he realized that Sasuke was wearing his clothes. How odd, he'd thought detachedly. Then it had hit him, and he was on Sasuke so fast that Sakura didn't even have time to blink.
"You bastard! You left! You left, you asshole, you idiot!" Naruto didn't think he could let go of Sasuke even if he tried. "What were you thinking! What took you so long! Are you insa-"
"Shut up." The voice isn't angry, it's…pained. When Naruto looks at Sasuke's face, he sees so much pain and suffering and sorrow, and he wonders how he can breathe. Naruto lets go.
"Teme…what's…wait…where's Tsunade-baa-chan? Does she know you're here?" Naruto doesn't know how or where to begin, so he just asks the first thing that comes to mind.
"No. And it will stay that way for tonight. Now just let me sleep…please, Naruto, I just want to sleep." Sasuke's eyes are pleading now, and it makes Naruto feel somewhat anxious. Since when had Sasuke ever said please? When had he ever looked at anyone with a pleading gaze? What had happened while he was gone?
"I…I guess I…I'll stay here tonight, if I can, Sakura-chan?" He questions. Sakura just needs, and Naruto can see that she's crying. It makes him wonder, but he doesn't ask anymore questions as Sasuke gets up and Sakura leads him into a bedroom. He figures that he'll know soon enough.
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"When did he return?" Tsunade asked harshly. Her eyes were on Sasuke, who had on a blank look. Naruto couldn't conceal his apprehension, and Sakura just trembled, trying to remain as calm as she possibly could.
"Last night."
"Why wasn't I notified immediately?"
"He needed rest, Hokage-sama. He was injured when he came in." Seconds pass by as Tsunade scrutinizes the last surviving Uchiha with suspicious eyes.
"Injured?"
"Yes. Many injuries, all different kinds…"
"I see." Brown eyes soften, just a little. "I'll take a look at him myself. I'll see if he needs further medical attention."
"Yes, Hokage-sama." Tsunade took Sasuke by the arm and led him into a separate room, which was like an examining room at a hospital, only smaller, so that the patient doesn't have much room to run around in. She tells Sasuke to strip, and to lay down on the table. His eyes flash red, and on the other side of the door, Naruto and Sakura can hear screams, and the sound of items being thrown against the wall. They rush in, and Sasuke is back against the wall, clutching at his head, screaming at the top of lungs.
"GET AWAY FROM ME! IDON'TWANTOIDON'TWANTTOIDON'TWANTTO!" Tsunade is staring, horrified, and Sakura looks at her.
"What's wrong with him!"
An answer that no one wants to hear is what they get. "He's…he's been through severe mental and physical trauma…it seems like he was…" Tsunade can't say it, the words won't come out, even though they're in her head. HEWASRAPED,THAT SICKFREAKRAPEDHIMANDOHGODHEWASACHILDOHGOD- but Tsunade didn't say that. The look on her face seemed to be enough for Sakura. Naruto stares at the now unconscious kunoichi, and he realizes with a feeling of cold, dark horror, what Tsunade was trying to say.
If Naruto could see any color other than red, he'd realize that the liquid running down Tsunade's face was tears, not blood.
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Hands. Hands going everywhere, pale, cold, long fingers, touching him. How could anyone be that cold? And a tongue, long, slimy, on his neck, on his chest, in his mouth-OH GOD MAKE IT STOP! Sasuke pulled at his hair, trying to scream and kick away the one who was holding him down, because oh god it HURT. A voice, snake-like, hissing that this was the price for revenge (NOIDON'TWANTITMAKEITSTOP), and then red, so much red that it was all over him, and it pulled away, finally, laughing. Sasuke screamed again, and then there was more red, except that this time the blood wasn't his.
Itachi is dead. It was all a blur, and Sasuke can barely remember what his brother said to him. He remembers that smirk, and then the question- "Was it worth it?". Sasuke wishes that he could say yes and be telling the truth. But since he can do neither at the same time, he just lets the bright, chirping blue light take away the trouble of answering. Itachi probably already knew anyways.
And then, after the cold, empty feeling swallows his insides (because he finally did it, and now there's nothing left), the hissing comes back. It tells him that he did a good job. So Sasuke looks at him, smiles, and rams a crackling Chidori into his stomach. The crimson washes over him, and blinks. He had to go. But go where? He would go home, because he had nowhere else to go.
Now that he's here, Sasuke realizes that as his screams and Naruto's (but why was Naruto screaming) mix together, that he should have listened. Kakashi had been his sensei, so why hadn't he listened? Sasuke wishes that he hadn't been so damn arrogant, that he hadn't been so deadest on getting fucking revenge, and that he had just, for once, listened to someone's advice. But now it's too late, and the damage can't be undone, and he can't go back and fix it, fix himself and fix his life.
He knows that no matter what happens, no matter how many people forgive him, no matter how many people still care about him, Konoha will never be his home again. Empty shells do not have homes, and shadows can only last so long.
Sasuke wishes though, that he can have a night to rest. A night where he doesn't have to feel those cold, clammy hands, or that wet, slimy tongue. A night when he is still Uchiha Sasuke. But now he is just a shadow, and he will never be Uchiha Sasuke again. After all, shadows cannot dream.