"What is it like to be you?"

—

When she thinks over the event, she realizes that she doesn't really remember what happened before hand, that she can't seem to recall what she had been doing before he had said it. Well…she sort of did remember actually. Yeah, something for Squall. Some errand. Well no, not really. She had somehow convinced the moogle to do…whatever. Like always. Yeah, she sort of kind of has a hazy recollection of getting ice cream from the scary duck dude. Well, stealing really, but if the duck dude wasn't such a rip off she wouldn't need to steal it! Seriously, who charges 30 munny for a stick of ice cream? Wait...! Ice cream! She remembers now!

Yuffie closes her eyes for a second. And then opens them again, realizing that it was easier to flashback with her eyes open.

Yeah…Ice cream.

—

Euyuch. It's that feeling. That-that-that-that ewyuckygrowlI'mhungry feeling in her stomach. Like she was eating children, crawling and kicking and being digested slowly by some evil stomach acids that kiiiill and ooh, cannibalism. Not a good picture. And euurgh, the feeling gets worse. That-that-that that feeling.

Guilt.

And of course, it only gets worse. And worse. And worse and worse and…oooh. Now she was eating children and puppies, my gawd, she was a terrible person! Stop it now, stop it now, pleeease, she swears she'll never eat ice cream and skive off again! (She crosses her fingers as she thinks this.)

And then, she just knows it, Squall is going to come. Any minute, any second now…

And then:

"Yuffie…"

Crap!

Yuffie jumps, her hand nearly dropping the ice cream cone as she shudders. Under her breath, she mutters a quick curse, before putting on a sweet saccharine smile, her voice going up a few pitches as she makes her excuses: "Yeah Squall, you see, the Moogles it's totally…Cloud."

Yeah.

It's Cloud. Not Squall.

(Duh.)

And for a moment, or maybe it was a few, or…yeah, time passes.

Like, seconds going 1, 2, 3 and happy stuff. Like wind going whoosh and her staring at his eyes. Ooh, such pretty eyes, such beautiful eyes, and why does he have such prettifully long eyelashes? Not cool, probably put mascara on every morning, and then when it rains, he goes all emo and cries tears, black tears, of pain, pain I tell you! For he is a lonely soul who's all be himself and is lonely, oh so lonely…and he's still staring at her. How many moments? Seconds? One? Two? Five? Still staring…Still staring…TALK ALREADY.

"…What is it like to be you?"

Whoa. He talked. Maybe he's psychic—ooh, that'd suck like hell.

Hold up. Rewind a bit, please.

What did he say?

"What?"

"Squall wants to know where are the papers he requested."

"What?"

But before she can say another word, he's already gone and walking—Yuffie blinks.

Wait, what?

—

And for the rest of the day, she only thought of one thing: What is it like to be you? As in, the words would ring in her head, going, echooo echooo echooo, what is it like to be youuuuuu….? And not only that, but she's starting to wonder why, why did Cloud ask her that? Why would he ask her that? Why would he care? Because...if...he cared…? Liked her? Ew. No. (Don't get your hopes up.) Maybe she imagined it? Maybe he didn't really say that, maybe, maybe, maybe her deranged mind was so deprived for attention that she misheard him? But…Why…

…What?

Confuzzlusion.

And thus, Yuffie paces back and forth in her room, replaying the scene over and over, reliving that one moment when her heart went ---Bump, thinking about everything, how her lips were stinging with the taste of salt, how she was shivering because she was too lazy to get a jacket, how she had played with a rock with her foot, how he was looking at her…Confused. Still, nothing makes sense. Why why why why why why why why WHY?

…And with a weird sort of epiphany, she realizes—She's obsessed.

Hm. Not good.

—

Huuh...how to ask, how to ask? Should she just outright and say it? But that would make her situation much too obvious and...yeah, you don't want Aerith to know everything. Because secretly, deep down, she's a scary demon who blackmails everyone to be happy. Other option: attempt to manipulate the conversation so Yuffie can casually mention her situation. Yeah. Work. A lot of hard work and attempting to figure out how Aerith thinks (which is practically impossible), plan out every response, try to think of a topic in which her situation (...Her situation. Man, she sounds like a girl getting her period for the first time) relates to, and then has to memorize her lines, act them out...yeah. Work. Not happening.

"Yuffie?" Aerith pauses, looking over her a bit. "Are you...okay? You've been standing there for a while now."

Yuffie blanks out for a moment. She's been standing there for a while...? What...? Oh...oh yes she was! She was standing there! Yes, she was, good girl! And...Yeah. Remember the plan. Ask Aerith for advice without giving away the situation. Somehow.

Right. Plan A or B?

"Aerith! Yeah! Hi..." She trails off. Plan A or B?

Aerith blinks, a confused smile coming to her face. "Yes, Yuffie? Is something wrong?"

Plan A or B? Plan A or B? Plan A or—oh screw it, A's a prettier number anyway. With a deep breath, Yuffie just blurts it out.

"When you wonder what it is to be like someone, wha-what does it mean?" She stutters out a bit. Damn heart. Stop beating, stop beating, stop it! Ooh, bad little heart. Bad.

Aerith looks thoughtful, frowning a bit as she thinks, blue eyes moving back and forth. "Well," She starts. "What do you feel about this person? Do you like him, hate him?"

Okay, so Aerith didn't ask who it was. Good. Yuffie lets out a breath that she didn't know she was holding, and thinks about it. Cloud...what does he think of her? Well, they didn't really know each other and she can't recall ever playing a prank on him...hopefully not. "Err...Neutral," Yuffie answers after a while, before adding quickly, "But there's no guarantee this person is a guy! I mean...to say...yeah, it might not be a guy. You know."

Aerith quirks an eyebrow, but just nods, the edge of her mouth upturning a bit. Oooh, and look there's that sparkle in her eye. Oh yeah, Aerith didn't believe her. At all. "Of course. And this...person, has he done anything to you? Smiled at you? Or maybe it's the other way around? Where you did something to him?"

Her? Smile at Cloud? ...A-ha! That's a laugh. She can't even remember the last time she talked to him...well, except for...yeah.

"No, not that I can remember..." She replies, combing her mind. "Well, unless you count those times when I found him staring...I mean, when I found this person who may or may not be a guy looking at me. But that's only happened...once. Twice. Or something." (It's kind of sad that that's the only type of interaction Yuffie can remember having with Cloud, those one or two moments where she met his gaze for a second. Like, wow, she doesn't know this guy at all! ...Duh. Otherwise she wouldn't be asking Aerith for advice.)

Aerith is nodding, her smile growing. Wait, does that mean Aerith has an answer? Like, an answer answer? An answer? Whoa, Aerith be total amazingness. She be very total amazingness to be able to figure out her situation. (Aha. Her situation. Such a girl.)

"Yuffie, I think you have a crush on this guy."

Aerith is holy, Aerith is very holy and—WHAT?

She speaks her thoughts outloud.

"WHAT?" (She was saying that word a lot nowadays.)

Wait, she does not have a crush on Cloud. Like, no. She's has crushes before (example, Squall, before she figured out that he was a big meanieface who only ordered people around and didn't like pizza. Seriously, who does not like pizza?), she knows what attraction feels like. ...Wait, Cloud's the one who wants to know what it's like to be her. So...Cloud has a crush on her? Wait, what? What? WHAT? NO WAY!

Aerith is giving her a smile, a knowing smile, a secretive smile and she's patting her head and is saying, "Now Yuffie, it's not that uncommon for girls your age to have crushes. It's normal."

Cloud did not have a crush on her. That just didn't make sense and...it was Cloud! The dude who was all, "I must search for Sephiroth because I'm stupid and I'm looking for darkness and blah blah blah cry no one can understand me." Yes, there must be some other answer, because...ew! Cloud did not like her, and she did not like Cloud! (Though he was kinda hot if one ignored the emo-ness and that he was practically taken by Aerith.)

"So Yuffie, is it someone I know?" Aerith asks, her voice all sweet and musical as she leans closer to Yuffie. "Leon perhaps? Or maybe even...Sora?"

...Did she say SORA? The horror! The shock! Blasphemy! To think...to think that Aerith would even imply that she likes...Sora. Oh, now that was low. That was low, very very low. (And so very last year? Hello, get with the times!)

Face burning up like...something hot, Yuffie tears herself away from Aerith, head looking down. "It's no-no one!" She insists, hoping that Aerith would not get any ideas to attempt some matchmaking with...someone like Cid or something. Oh gawd, someone like Cid? Oh gawd, don't think don't think...

And before the conversation gets any worse, Yuffie runs to...somewhere, mumbling something about Squall needing some stupid papers.

...Oh right, he did need some stupid papers.

—

"Squall! Your papers have arrived!" Yuffie announces, bouncing into the funky computer room behind Ansem's study. Ahh, it was such an awesomely cool funky computer room with such pretty colours...If only Squall let her in here more often. Something about, "You're a dangerous hazard to everything around you. It's better if we kept you away from the delicate equipment." Pfft. Stupid meanieface.

Squall looks up from typing something on the (ginourmous) keyboard.

"It's Leon. And I do recall asking for those data results, two days ago." He emphasizes, holding out a hand. Yuffie, with a proud grin hands them over.

"Yeah...well, the moogle stole it from it me, so I had to lure it into a trap and get the papers," Yuffie says with a straight voice, nodding her head seriously. It was sorta true anyway. Kind of. Not really. "Those moogles, so much trouble."

"Uh-huh...And this has nothing to do with that moogle that was burning papers for fire for synthesis items?"

Whoa. Psychic Squall. Not cool.

"Nope, nothing at all. Didn't even know that moogles knew how to make fire." Yuffie claims, keeping an innocent grin on her face. Squall just rolls his eyes, obviously not believing her. Cheee, was she that untrustworthy? She adds pointedly. "You believe me, right?"

"Sure." Translation: Not at all. "You can go now." Translation: Leave me the hell alone before you trip and push the self-destruct button and blow this place up.

See, she knew Squall so well. Guys are so transparent...except for Cloud. Weird guy...She could ask Squall! Guys knew guys! He'd understand better than Aerith! Yeah, totally awesome and genius idea! Now, she'd have to decide between Plan A or Plan B again...

"Yuffie?"

Yuffie looks up, a frown on her face. Damn guy, breaking her out of her thoughts. Can't a girl get some time to think? Cheee. "What?"

Squall just stares at her for a moment, before saying, "You're still standing there." (Well duh.) "Was there...anything you needed?"

...Aha! An opening! Go in for the dive! Just do it!

"When a guy asks, 'What is it like to be you?', what does that usually mean?" Yuffie asks. Squall sighs, almost giving out a 'is she really asking me this and why must she ask me now' air. Psh, Squall always seemed to be annoyed by her. Never happy, was he. Inconsiderate jerk.

"Well, since it's you, I'd say the guy was so addled and perplexed by your weird tendency to be completely random and odd and utterly impossible to figure out that he just had to ask." He says deadpanned (and in one breath too, amazingly). "There. You happy?"

Yuffie lets out a snort and crosses her arms. "Oh come on, answer me seriously!"

"And how am I supposed to know?"

"You're a guy! You should know how other guys think! Come on, answer and I promise that I won't give any more papers to the moogles." Yuffie pleads. Whoops, she shouldn't have said that she realizes when she sees Squall's glare. "Hey, I was just thinking that'd it be really cool if we could train them to be messenger pidgeons, you know? It'd be great in a time of emergency okay I'll shut up now."

There's a small pause of silence as Yuffie smiles hopefully at Squall. Pleaase, she mentally sends to him. Pleeease please, pretty please with a happy cherry and maybe a squirrel on top? A happy squirrel with...some...nuts, oh that sounded wrong. Don't think, don't think.

And then, he finally answers. "You promise? You seriously promise this?"

Whoa, is Squall actually falling for that? No way! Oh, swe-eet!

She nods vigorously. "Of course! You can count on me, Squallie, buddly ole pal!"

Glaaare. Oooh, she's never going to use that term again. Right. She'll shut up this time. Honest.

Another annoyed sigh. "Fine." Mwa-ha! The Yuffster wins yet again! "Now...explain the situation to me."

Yuffie leans against the wall, getting herself comfortable before starting. "All right. So there's this guy...Yeah, this guy that I'm not really all too close with. And then, one day, out of the blue, he suddenly asks, 'What is it like to be you'? And before I can say anything he just walks away. And...yeah. That's it."

Squall stares at her, a look of disbelief on his face. In fact, his feelings are so clear (and because she is total awesomeness), she can practically read his thoughts: You're bothering me...with this?

"That's it."

Yuffie nods. "Yup."

"So you don't really know this guy (She nods), and then one day, he asks, 'What is like to be you?' (She nods again)..." Squall pauses, thinking over everything. When he looks at her again, she feels her heart flutter. Maybe he has an answer? A real answer? AH! He's opening his mouth! He's going to talk! Answer! Like, awesomeness! "...Maybe this guy likes you?"

Or not.

Yuffie's mouth drops open. And here she even went to ask Squall! How does she not have an answer yet? "Not you too!" She cries, feeling somewhat cheated and outraged. She even promised not to use the moogles anymore! "Seriously, is crushes all you guys think of nowadays? Hmph, probably Aerith and you are secretly dating, aren't you? Lovesick fools, the lot of you!"

Squall raises an eyebrow, looking somewhat bemused.

"Yes, you've caught onto us haven't you. And we're also secretly conspiring against you so that we can take your precious...what is it? Materials?" He shrugs, and is already turning back to his computer. "Now let me work. I've answered your questions."

"It's materia!" Yuffie corrects. "And that doesn't count as an answer! It's...wrong and...ew! Come on, surely there's something else."

"Then why don't you just ask the guy yourself?" Squall turns back a bit, a gives her a smirk. "Unless...you're too scared to do it."

Yuffie freezes. "What?"

Squall's smirk only grows wider. "You heard me. You're too scared to ask the guy, aren't you. Who is it then? Sora? Cid? Some kid you met while you were on vacation?"

What is with SORA? Why is it Sora the first thing that comes up in people's mind? Seriously, that was laast year, get it straight!

"It's no one!" And before she knows it, she's stomping out of the room and with a FWOOSH the door closes behind her. Damn Squall, probably wasn't enough of a guy to give a good answer. Damn long hair. ...And he just locked the door behind her! Oh no he so did not just do that, stupid annoying damn JERK.

Damn it, tonight they were going to have pizza.

—

But Merlin just had to conveniently remind Aerith that dear poor Leon did not like pizza, how about some beans, thank you. Psh, old senile man, just haaad to be nice to everyone. Gosh, what happened to revenge? And beans out of all things! Why not just get some grass and fry it with some...something! Yeah, that'd be great, oh yeah.

And so, Yuffie is left to sulk in her bedroom oh so happily while muttering and cursing under her breath. Oh happy day.

But then a familiar deep voice just had to interrupt her: "Yuffie, Aerith is telling you to come down for dinner."

"Damn it Squall, so I can't even sulk anymore? I'm not hungry, you bastard." She spits out viciously to him, giving him a narrow glare. He only sighs.

"We..." He pauses, as if loathe to admit what's going to come out of his mouth. "We have pizza."

Immediately, Yuffie is sitting straight up, her eyes pinned on Squall.

"Really?"

He looks to the side, a scowl on his face. "Yes, really."

And before he can even say pizza is full of disgusting grease and will make you fat, Yuffie is pushing him aside and is racing downstairs! Mwa-ha! Food! Happy food! The Yuffster shall always win!

And somehow, her situation was left forgotten.

—

AN: This was inspired by Kai Saitou, who once said to me, "No offense, but I can't evenbegin to see how your mind grasps what will now be known as "The Concept of Yuffie"...which somehow inspired this piece. And yes, the Clouffolution is still alive! Please support it and write/complete happy Clouffie fics. (-coughKaikaipantscough-). Thank you for reading.