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Raven stared down at her floor, memories from earlier today flooding her mind.
And she felt ashamed. The empath shivered slightly, and she wrapped the white cloak further around her body. The more she looked at it, the more horrible the felt-white was supposed to be a symbol for purity. When she was around Malchior, she felt pure, she felt clean, and more than ever, she felt loved. But in this moment, knowing he had never loved her, that he was just using her-that he wasn't even who she thought he was-she felt anything but pure.
She felt dirty, and deceived, hurt, betrayed. Raven felt like huge creep, all over again, because the minute someone she didn't know showed her attention, she fell for it.
And that's what hurt.
Raven squeezed her eyes shut, as she allowed herself to fall back on her bed. The memories were starting to give her a headache, and all she wanted to do was fall asleep and hope for it to be better, the next day. Her thoughts began to infiltrate back to the way Beast Boy spoke to her, earlier. Calling her creepy, calling her books nasty and that she always hid herself away in her room. Just because she wouldn't play a stupid game of stank ball with him. And normally, whatever he said-it wouldn't matter.
Yet somehow, she was still thinking about it hours later. She had always felt like an outsider, and because she had to withdraw her emotions to protect herself, protect her friends.. she was a weirdo. The two had made up earlier, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt any less. She knew she had friends who cared for her, and there was no way she was overly sensitive, but after the past few events.. it was safe to say she was still slightly ticked off and annoyed. Not just with Beast Boy, but with Malchior, and with herself.
Raven shook her head, squeezing her eyes tight again. "Whatever," She spoke aloud, and began to melt into the comforts of her bed. It didn't matter anymore, it was resolved, and she should be over it. The only thing she could do now was go to sleep and wake up to a better tomorrow.
knock knock.
Just as Raven was about to fall asleep, she heard a knocking at her door. She let out a groan, as she sat up in her bed. "Who is it?" She called out. Raven really didn't feel like dealing with anyone, right now.
"It's Robin." She felt herself relaxing at the sound of his voice, thankful it wasn't Beast Boy. However so, she could sense a feeling of nervousness, even from the outside of her room. "Are you okay, Raven?" He asked, then.
The girl let out another sigh. She knew Robin meant well-he was alot more mature than the younger green boy, so she didn't mind his company, too much. Not to mention they had a bond formed, and as of recently, they had had each others backs. Yes, she was comfortable with him. So, not feeling like getting out of bed, Raven lifted her hand, projecting her powers onto the lock of her room, to unlock it. "The door's unlocked." She said simply.
Hesitantly, Robin opened the door, and peaked his head inside. Upon catching Raven's gaze, he offered a polite smile, and Raven smiled back. "I'm... fine." She answered his earlier question. "As fine as I'll ever be." She mumbled under her breathe, with a slight laugh.
Robin walked over to her, taking a careful seat on the edge of her bed. "Are you sure? Because, I mean, after the past few days..." His words trailed off, leaving Raven to mentally clue the pieces together. The fact that she was still equipped in a white cloak should have been the dead give away, and a part of her wasn't too sure why she was still wearing it. In a way, it brought her comfort, but it also brought her great shame.
She gave a shrug, either way. "If I must be honest, I'm not okay. I will be though, within time."
Robin gave a slight smile, his eyebrows curving upwards. "I'm glad to hear it. Is there... anything I can do, though?"
The empath raised a brow, wondering just why he would single himself out, instead of adding the whole team in. But then she guessed, he knew as well as she did, in this moment, she wouldn't really want the crazy antics of her team getting involved. Yes, they all meant well in their odd ways, but Robin was probably the only mature one in this situation.
Raven found her eyebrows curling upwards too, and in this moment, she yearned to be held, to be assured that all would be okay. It was hardly her forte, and there would never be another chance she would reach out like this, but maybe this once... it would be okay. "A... hug would be nice, I suppose." She mumbled, and before she knew it, she was being swooped into his arms.
He was warm. That was the first thing Raven noticed, and she found it easy to quickly relax into his touch, and wrap her own arms around his shoulders, and simply enjoy the moment. It was a silent comforting moment between them, however Raven couldn't stop herself when a single tear rolled down her cheek. Robin was comforting, and it made her think of just how much Malchior tried to comfort her. Wiping her tears away, holding her, telling her sweet nothings... and then Robin. She knew he was trust-worthy. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. That didn't stop the thoughts, though, and mindlessly, she whispered out, "He hurt me..."
Another tear rolled down her cheek, as Robin pulled away to look her in the eyes. "Raven..."
Raven shook her head, willing the tears away. "I know, It's silly, and it's all kinds of stupid, but-I really thought I loved him." She mused. "He actually showed me affection. At least-what I thought it was. I thought he cared about me. Only to find out that he was only using me-" She stopped herself again, looking away from him. "Sorry, I know I sound really stupid. But... after what Beast Boy said, about me being creepy-" Raven squeezed her eyes shut again.
Before she could open her mouth, Robin was holding her close again. She gasped slightly, feeling herself being pressed against him. "You're not stupid, Rae. Don't call yourself that." She felt her eyes go wide, to hear him whisper that out. "I understand. He hurt you-he wasn't who he seemed to be. But that isn't any reason to call yourself dumb, hey? It was an accident. We all make mistakes."
Raven sighed, as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I know..." She mumbled.
Robin gently raked his fingers through her hair in a comforting matter. "And forget about Beast Boy. He's young, and he doesn't know what he's talking about. You're far from creepy." Robin suggested, and Raven found herself smiling, slightly. True, Beast Boy was the youngest one in the team. It shouldn't come as a surprise that he wouldn't know what he was talking about at times, but coming from someone who was supposed to be your friend, stuff like that hits hard. But she knew Robin was right. It was only Beast Boy-no reason to fret. And it wasn't even him she was mad at.
"You're right." She admitted. "It's not Gar I'm mad at, I'm... upset with myself. For allowing myself to fall so fast for Malchior, not even truly knowing who he was.."
Robin nodded. "It'll be okay, though. You're still here, and you're still whole. And hey, you have all of us to lean on. And if you ever need another hug, you can always let me know."
Raven pulled away, to look him in the eyes again. He was smiling, and the more she saw that smile, the happier she felt. Just with his understanding, comforting words. She knew he was right, and she knew everything would be okay. She also realized it was okay to depend on someone, as long as it was someone she knew and trusted. And she trusted Robin more than ever, because, well, he was a good friend to her.
Raven found herself smiling.
"See, there's that smile." Robin pointed out with a slight laugh.
Raven's smile grew wider, and she leaned against Robin, again. "Thank you, Robin... for everything."
