A/N: Hello wonderful world of fanfiction! The name's Stormy, you probably haven't seen my name around much, but I've been an anonymous reader for quite some time now, a year by now at least. Yeah, I've been reading stories for a while, and I've probably been a hit/visitor to quite a few of you, especially in the HoN category.
Anyways, I've enjoyed reading for quite some time, and with a little bit of encouragement from my friends, decided to get an account and start posting some things myself…so here's my first shot at it! Please read and review, constructive criticism is welcome of course, as it always is with me =D.
Disclaimer: Nope, I own nothing. If I owned the House of Night series, Jack wouldn't have died, and I'd have absolutely no need to write this. The song is 'Overcome' by Within Temptation, also not mine…if I owned that I'd be an extremely happy person.
Damien's POV
I sat slouched on my bed in the small room I had in the tunnels, tears streaming down my cheeks once again. How we all wound up back here was a story I rather did not want to reflect on, but compared to the other option, it seemed almost a welcomed relief. I was the only one awake at the time, it was the middle of the night, or day as it was to the humans, and I heard no other movement indicative of anyone else being awake.
The dreams were so haunting. Ultimately, that was the reason I was awake, the dreams, or nightmares as I should say, were just that horrible. Tonight was probably the first night I had slept well since his death, Nyx's words to me helped ease the pain. The problem with that was they merely eased the pain, they didn't take the pain away. This was evident by the nightmare that my mind just plagued me with, a recall of his death.
It was horrific the first time when it was real, when Jack fell from the ladder that ultimately caused his death. The last thing I wanted, or needed for that matter, was to have my mind replay the scene over and over and over again every time I shut my eyes. Yet, replaying seemed to be the only thing my mind would…could do. I promised that we would get through this war, that we would be together through it and forever after, and that I would always love him. I never meant to lie.
"I'm sorry," I whispered brokenly, looking up the blank, earth wall across from me, "I swear I never meant to lie."
Where are the heroes
In my time of need?
Is my cry not loud enough
Or have they gone all numb?
They just stand and stare
Out of the rain
Thinking but not acting
That they're not to blame
I told Stevie Rae at the time that I did not believe Neferet was the cause behind it, she wasn't there when Jack fell to his death. While the latter was very true for she was not there, I was beginning to doubt that she was not the cause of it. Neferet could do many things, with or without her presence, could it be possible that she caused his death as well?
If that was the case, then how did she get to reach that power? Why did no one step up to be the hero and to stop her, to say something, anything that would have caused alarm? Why was it now, after she had gotten such power, after it was too late to say anything, that we were here to stop her? And why were I and my friends the only ones stepping up? We have to be the most unconventional heroes in history, and yet we are still doing better than who should be the real heroes. Maybe if the real heroes stepped up when they needed to, Jack and many others would still be alive.
Even tonight, it infuriated me. Was a lover's lament, my cries, not enough to at least realize something was going on in our world…whether Jack's death was caused by Neferet or not? I suppose not, instead those who have been silent for so long continued their silence and others…they turned their backs to it. I believed Dragon was sympathetic to me, and I to him, but out of everyone at the house, he should have known not to turn to Neferet. I am thankful I have not become that desperate.
To those who were silent, there is not much to say about them. They stand on the sidelines, they stay safe while the rest of us are out here battling for Light, and receiving great consequences in return. They may not think they are to blame, but everyone who has been silent has some blood on their hands. They have Jack's blood on their hands. It would not have gotten this far if they just stood up.
Falling and crawling
A fight to stand up
The memory still haunts me
In the dead of night
The memories, the dreams, the nightmares, they were all there and so very, very real. Often times since his death, I lose myself in the memories of the wonderful times we were together. I am grateful I can still remember them, but when I fall out of them it is nothing but pain. It is a struggle to breathe properly, let alone stand up and get out of bed to face the day and those around me.
And then, the ultimate memory that was above all others, the memory of losing him. In the dead of night, all alone, it seemed to be the only one my mind would know. There was no greater suffering than that.
Over and over
I felt so small
But one day I'll be stronger
And you better watch out
Though, I must admit it's truly amazing how much love can change your life. I was harassed constantly over my sexuality, both while I was a human and a fledgling. Having the gang was a help, but at times the reminders still hurt. Then Jack waltzed into my life and everything was different.
With him, nothing else mattered. With him, every word that was spoken to me did not matter one bit, I found my soul mate and anyone that had a problem with it could say whatever they wanted. Jack made me stronger, and when I told him that, though he said he did nothing of the sort, he was proud to do so and hoped I would stay strong forever because of…and for him. And now, he was gone, I had lost him and it left me a wreck.
That was when realization struck me. Jack wanted me to forever be strong, and I would. The thought finally sunk in, Jack would not want me to be like this after he died. He would want me to be strong and continue living my life and fighting Darkness even if he was gone. I would not let that promise go to waste. I would be strong, stronger even, fueled by vengeance for Jack as I stood beside Zoey and my friends.
I will overcome, your violence their silence
Although it can't be undone
I will overcome, knowing that I'm not the only one
I will overcome, it's the only way to carry on
Jack's death could not be undone, he could not be brought back. I accepted the fact that very night, but it did not mean I had to live in pain and fear for the rest of my life. The best way to overcome and best Neferet was to not show her fear induced by her violence. The best way to beat the silence of others was to continue fighting and protesting against Neferet and Kalona.
Aside from that, others had gone through this very loss. Dragon lost Anastasia and I just had to look at him to see where the pain put him. He's in the hands of Neferet, almost like putty. He lost faith, that was something I would not do. I would be like Zoey, she lost Heath and it nearly shattered her, but she pulled herself together and she is still with us and fighting.
Jack's death was my shattered soul, right now was when I pulled myself together and continued fighting, his words my reason to do so. It was the only way to ensure I had a good life, and the only way to ensure Jack didn't die in vain.
Where are the saviors?
Afraid of the toll
Sorry do my nine inch nails
Slash your soul?
There were no saviors but us, everyone else was too afraid of what would come if they spoke out or stood up for themselves. I could understand their reasoning, but it did not make it any less wrong.
The people who kept their silence were just as guilty as Neferet and Kalona in all of the deaths the house has seen. It may have been harsh, hurtful to some (though there was far more suffering caused by the losses resulting from their silence), but now I was speaking nothing but the truth…and I came to two truths. For one, they were guilty because they did nothing to stop the violence. And two, I was most definitely looking to watch Neferet burn in Hell, whether she killed Jack or not.
Such heroes
Throwing stones
Straight at the one
Who is standing alone
Twisting and turning
It's always the same
Truth is never honest
When you're to blame
Pushing and pulling
Never give in
One day I wish you'll see
You're not so beautiful within
Neferet is sheer evil, and I hope one day she realizes that she isn't as nearly as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. The likelihood of that happening is very slim, but it's always a hope. She killed one of the most beautiful fledglings on Earth. Even if she said it wasn't her fault he died (of course it isn't…the public could never imagine a great High Priestess doing such a thing), she was a horrid witch.
If it was not so awful, it would be almost ironic how Neferet thought herself to be the protagonist in this story as she throws more stories and lies about Zoey, the true Chosen One of Nyx and the one standing up against Neferet and for the Goddess, around as if Zoey was evil and the one doing wrong.
I will overcome, your violence your silence
Although it can't be undone
I will overcome, knowing that I'm not the only one
I will overcome, it's the only way to carry on
Run and run
Run and run
Neferet would not win this, she would not win against me. Jack's death could hurt, and would for a very long time, but I would overcome it. I would fight through the pain and sorrow, it was what Jack would want me to do…and in the end what I wanted to do, both for me and for him.
I would run, continue to persist through everything and eventually, the pain and sorrow would fade away, slip off me like water. But for now, I would continue to run towards Neferet and Kalona and fight for the loss of my love.
I will overcome, their violence your silence
Although it can't be undone
I will overcome, knowing that I'm not the only one
I will overcome, it's the only way to carry on
It was final, my decision. Tomorrow, I would wake up and the hole in my heart would still be there, but it would not dictate my life. Slowly, I would move on. Slowly, I would walk away from the pain the violence caused and I would continue to be there for Light. I would be persistent, and though I would never forget Jack, I would slowly forget the sorrow and suffering his loss created for me.
"I hope that is what you want," I whispered to the ceiling as I laid back down in bed, pulling the covers over me.
I felt a small, warm breeze wash over me and very faintly I heard, "that is what I wanted you to do all along, my love."
At that, I fell back into a sleep with a small smile on my face. It was the first night since Jack's death that I did not have any nightmares, just the good, solid sleep my body and mind so desperately needed. I knew now, for a fact, that Jack was happy with my decision to overcome it all…and I was too.
I will overcome
A/N: Good, bad, ugly? Thoughts, as mentioned, are greatly appreciated.