FROM THE COLD

Christmas was not widely celebrated in Japan. Ulquiorra Shiffer was one of the few who 'celebrated' it despite not being Christian. His father had been American and so he had brought the tradition with him. So, Ulquiorra 'celebrated' it. He was not a happy person, but he had to remember that he use to enjoy it, back when he had his family. Now, he merely celebrated it out of habit, like it was something that needed to be done, rather than something he would have done willingly and happily.

He was just never happy especially around this time of the year, he was in fact rather annoyed by the festive air and joyfulness. It was just not him, and really, what was there to be happy about?

He could find nothing. He told himself he probably missed his family, and that much was true. But , missing them was never helpful, missing them did nothing to help him in his life. So he put them from his mind, berating himself whenever he thought too much about them, his mother always told him that it did not do to dwell on past events. It never helped anything anyway. Never.

He was nearly twenty years old now, he had a job at the cleaners twice every week, he was a good student and writer and he was smart and he was a good worker . He was successful enough in life, so he really did not need any help providing for himself, still his grandparents sent him money every now and then, they were worried about crisis and stuff like that. He had a good enough life, he had a home and food, so why should he dwell on the past? What good did it do? Nothing.

But still he was a sad being.

It was cold out, the wind was howling fiercely outside and snow fell thick and fast against the windows. The Laundromat was warm and actually quite cozy, the smell of detergent and clean clothes was quite relaxing. Ulquiorra was currently alone, sitting behind the counter next to a clothes rack, his arms folded over his chest, listening to the silence and trying hard not to fall asleep.

The door opened and a cold wind blew inside along with the man who entered, grumbling and cursing the man stumbled over to the counter and Ulquiorra sat up. He had seen this man come here only once, his black hat pulled over his head and his teal sweater smelling strongly like dirt and muck. He almost always had a smirk on his face either that or a frown, and he almost always had the same things washed

He always wore the same thing. Ulquiorra figured he probably either had no sense of hygiene, had no other clothes to wear, or was homeless. His jeans were also ripped up, this made Ulquiorra stare for a moment. It was nearly 32 degrees outside, this man must be freezing, but he stood there smirking, and shivering violently, his hands sunk in his pockets.

"My stuff," the man growled. "Now." Ulquiorra did not appreciate being ordered around, especially by this human wreck, but he handed him his stuff, a single glove, a black jacket and a scarf that looked like it had been eaten by moths. The man took his stuff and wrapped the scarf around his neck and shoved on the single glove and pulled on the jacket.

Ulquiorra checked his watch and sighed softly, he was so tired. The man slapped a dollar and a penny on the counter and walked towards the door. "Sir." Ulquiorra said calmly, looking up from the change. "The proper change is fifteen yen. You have given me two." The man turned around and said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "Oh? I didn't know that." Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed slightly. "I see. Well, seeing that you know now are you going to give me the proper change?"

The man kept his body facing the other direction, his head turned slightly to face Ulquiorra. "No." Ulquiorra stared at him. "Excuse me?" the man's glare intensified. "That's all I got, deal with it." Ulquiorra stared at him, he was starting to consider something, but he was wondering whether or not the man would actually be bold enough to do such a thing, apparently he was.

"That is all you have? Was this all you had this morning when you dropped off your things, sir?" although the sentence did not sound entirely accusatory his tone certainly did. "Or did you think that I would not notice that you gave me a two instead of fifteen?"

"The penny is new actually." The man growled, turning around completely now. "And no, I did not think you would not notice, what do you think I am fuckin' stupid?"

"That's how it seemed to me." Ulquiorra said coldly. "Although I had my doubts for a moment that you were actually stupid enough to believe that I was stupid enough to mistake a two for a fifteen."

"It was worth a try." The man growled, sitting down. "I shouldn't have even washed my shit anyway, it's just gonna get dirty again." The last sentence was directed more at himself. "Why bother coming here if you knew that you couldn't afford it?" Ulquiorra asked him. The man stared at him for a moment and growled. "Why'sit matter?"

"You knew you couldn't afford it yet you came anyway, that was complete utter foolishness."

"Maybe it's called desperation, you dickwad." The man snarled, his teeth bared. The man's blue gaze narrowed and he walked over to a couch near the window and curled up on it. "Do not get comfortable," Ulquiorra said, some of his annoyance obvious in his tone. "In a minute I'm closing."

The man merely grumbled and said. "Yeah, yeah."

"Sir, get up." The man snarled something and sat up and said. "Yeah, fine, fuck off."

The man stood up and walked over to the counter and said. "I can see your still gonna be a bitch about the stupid money so…" the man removed his glove, his scarf and his black jacket and shoved them into Ulquiorra's chest, Ulquiorra staggered and the man put an arm at his back to stop him from falling over. "There, keep 'em. Shitload of good they'll do me anyway. Now you don't need to worry about the fucking change."

And the man stomped from the room, tucking his hands into his pockets as he slammed the door behind him, the bell above the door tinkled and the sound still rang in Ulquiorra's ears after the door had slammed.

Now he was in a bad mood, something like that had never happened before, but he had been warned about it from the people who worked here. Ulquiorra sighed and walked over to a chair in the corner where he had folded his coat. Ulquiorra pulled it on and turned off the lights before he left the Laundromat. He locked the store and pulled down the gates before he began his journey home.

Ulquiorra tucked his hands into his pockets, and in doing so realized something that made his heart freeze. His wallet was gone. His fucking wallet was gone!

Ulquiorra's eyes widened and he stopped walking. Oh shit. Ulquiorra searched his coat pockets, his jean pockets again. Nothing! Calm down, you probably left it at the cleaners. Ulquiorra began his walk back, looking carefully at the ground in case it had magically fallen out of his pocket.

He reached the cleaners, lifted the gates and unlocked the door. He walked behind the counter and searched the chair where he usually put his coat. He searched the floor were he had nearly fallen over when the man shoved his things at him, in case his wallet had yet again magically fallen out of his pocket. And then he understood something. That man had put his hand at Ulquiorra's hip to keep him from falling over, his hand had been so close to his right pocket. "That bastard." Ulquiorra whispered. There was no other solution, his wallet never left his pocket unless he had need for it.

But now the man was gone. Long gone with Ulquiorra's money and everything else in the damn wallet. He had enough problems without having to deal with this!

Had Ulquiorra been a lesser man he would have cursed and gotten angry, but he was Ulquiorra Shiffer. And Ulquiorra Shiffer did not throw angry fits when something like this happened, regardless of the fact that he felt like shooting someone.

Ulquiorra reached over to the phone and snatched it up, dialing 911.

The call however was disconnected, the power was failing now. Just his luck. He tried again, nothing worked. Ulquiorra was getting annoyed now and tried a third time.

"Calling the police on me now, huh?"

Ulquiorra turned around fast and saw the man walking over to him, his hands tucked into his pockets, a lazy grin on his face. "You." Ulquiorra growled. The man had a whole lot of nerve coming back here, what on earth was he doing?

"Figured it out, huh? You are pretty smart." The man said, smirking. The next second a fist struck him right in the face, sending him sliding across the floor.

The man sat up, his blue eyes popping. "Ow, what the fuck?! You—!!"

But Ulquiorra's hand latched onto his neck and lifted him to his feet.

"For your sake you had better not done anything to my wallet." Ulquiorra growled, his eyes narrowing. "Now, tell me, you disgusting piece of trash, where is it?" the man now seemed slightly nervous, he swallowed and said. "Dude, don't be such a chick, relax I haven't done anything with your precious wallet."

"Where is it?"

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out his half empty wallet.

Ulquiorra stared and said. "You are an idiot. You steal a wallet and then come back to the person you stole it from and give it back to him."

"Yeah, well you aren't complaining are ya? And take this."

And the man shoved fifteen dollars into his hands. Ulquiorra blinked and then he said. "You—wait, where did you get this? You got it from my own wallet didn't you?"

"Fuck no. I got it from a friend of mine, quick game of checkers, whoever wins gets the money. The end."

And then Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. "And where exactly get the money to gamble?"

"Uh…." The man stared and said. "Where do you think…?"

Ulquiorra stared and said. "You took my money and used it to get money from him."

"Yup." And then he said quickly. "But I got his crap-load of money and everything here in my pocket and all so you can take half and keep the fucking fifteen okay!"

Ulquiorra stared at the man in front of him and pocketed his wallet and the fifteen dollars. "You keep your money." The man nodded and said. "And I'll take the stuff I left you." he walked around Ulquiorra to his counter and snatched his glove and jacket and scarf. The man walked around Ulquiorra over to the door and looked back. "What's your name?"

Ulquiorra blinked. "Why does it matter?"

"Ah fine screw you!" the man snarled, opening the door. Ulquiorra's hand closed over the man's wrist and he froze. "Do you think I'm letting you walk out of here after you stole my wallet? Your pathetic. "

The man growled and tried to pull his arm out of Ulquiorra's grasp. "What the fuck?" Ulquiorra glared at him and said. "Where do you live?"

"Wherever I want, now let go."

"Your homeless. I thought so, do you live in a shelter?"

"Fuck no, I hate those places."

Thoughts were running through Ulquiorra's brain. He had been taught to help customers, he had been given the job because they were confident that he could help people with their stuff. If he just let this man walk back out into the cold would he be going against orders?

If he let this hoodlum leave and he got into trouble would it be bad for business?

Too many questions, no answers. As much as he hated to admit it, this man was a customer. Someone shoot me.

Ulquiorra looked up and said, quickly as if he wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, and he did. "Come with me."

Grimmjow was confused, and annoyed. The man was dragging him up the street by the arm roughly. "HEY! Where the fuck are you taking me? Hey! Answer the damn question!" Grimmjow bellowed. He did not appreciate being pulled around, nor did he appreciate not knowing where this annoying man was taking him. It irked him to no end.

The man whirled around and said, his tone annoyed. "I am taking you to my house, you trash." Grimmjow froze. His home? His home! He was going to stay in a fucking house! A warm house, for the first time in a year! "What…?" he whispered, his tone shocked, but there was a grin on his face. "I am going to stay in your house?"

The man closed his eyes as if he couldn't stand to hear those words. "Yes. My house. Now follow me." The man continued to pull Grimmjow forward, but Grimmjow went willingly with him, his heart hammering in his chest, an excited grin stretching across his face.

The man dragged Grimmjow up the street until he stopped at a small white house at the end of the block, Grimmjow stared for a moment before he was pulled over to the door. The pale man fumbled in his right pocket, he pulled out a set of keys, he went through them quickly and found a small silver one and stuck it in the door.

The man pushed the door open and Grimmjow followed him inside.

The two men walked inside and Grimmjow was for the first time in a year greeted by warmth. The house was clean, very clean, and rather nice looking, the couch stood in front of the hearth, pictures were on top of the hearth, pictures of the pale man and two others. Grimmjow stepped inside, the kitchen was to the right, the staircase to the left of the kitchen, which probably lead up to the bedrooms or bathroom. The pale man walked around Grimmjow and walked over to the couch and turned around.

"Alright, there are a few things that you should know and agree to if you want to stay here. One; you are not to mess up, or touch things you shouldn't, two; you will sleep on the couch it is actually quite comfortable I will prepare a blanket for you, three; listen to your host, four; you smell, take a bath before you sit down or touch anything."

Grimmjow nodded. "Fine, fine, fine. Sure. Tell me something." Grimmjow said, walking over to him. "Tell me your name." they stared at one another for a second and then he said. "I'm Ulquiorra Shiffer. Take a bath."

Grimmjow grinned and said. "Grimmjow Jaegerjaques." Ulquiorra blinked and said. "Interesting. Go." Grimmjow walked by him, smirking.

"The bathroom is upstairs on your right." Ulquiorra said quickly. Grimmjow just nodded as he began his climb up the stairs. Ulquiorra sighed and walked over to the hearth, Ulquiorra started a fire and sat back down on the sofa, sighing. The firelight was reflected in his eyes, and then he stood up, deciding to change shirts, his turtle neck was too warm for his comfort.

Ulquiorra walked up the stairs, crossed the hall and opened the door to the bedroom. Ulquiorra walked over to his drawer, stripped off his teal turtle neck and threw on a plain black tee-shirt before he headed downstairs. He passed the bathroom and heard the shower going off. I doubt even my shampoo can wash away his stink. Ulquiorra thought before he could help it. He walked down the stairs and sank onto the couch, his hands tucking into his pockets.

He could not help but feel slightly…less alone now.

Grimmjow sighed as he felt the warm water rush onto his body, he reached over to grabbed the shampoo he'd set down on the outside of the shower door, which was open. It felt great, to be somewhere again after living on the street for so long, what confused him though was why the hell that Ulqui-guy had even brought him to his own house. Not that Grimmjow was complaining of course. But really, the guy obviously didn't like him too much, or so he liked to think.

Grimmjow smirked to himself, messaging his scalp with his soap covered hands, his hand lifted in the air, his eyes half open. The guy was irritating, but at the same time, his black messy hair, big green eyes, and all made him actually…cute. 'Emo' had seriously been the first thing Grimmjow had thought upon setting eyes upon the green-eyed man, but really he wasn't, he was dedicated to what he did, it was sort of admirable in an annoying sort of way. Grimmjow would bet a million dollars that the man wasn't as 'emo' as he looked.

He's really not bad looking either.

Grimmjow face-palmed. That sounds wrong, he thought, rolling his eyes, what am I gonna do, start crushing on my host? I sound like a fucking girl! Ha, that sounds even worse. Wrong, wrong, wrong, stupid mind!! And then Grimmjow realized something was wrong, his eyes were burning. Terribly! Grimmjow looked down at his palm, his hand was still soapy. Oh shit. Grimmjow yelled loudly as his eyes stung and burned and immediately shoved his head, eyes open, under the shower.

Ulquiorra looked out the window at the swirling snow hurtling by and closed his eyes. He was literally ready to fall asleep, he was exhausted and was glad he didn't have work tomorrow, although he normally didn't like doing nothing. He would probably go for a walk tomorrow, not too long, but long enough to enjoy himself.

He heard a loud thud upstairs and jumped as he heard a series of very vulgar curses. Ulquiorra sighed, stretched, got up and walked upstairs, reached the bathroom door and called out. "Hey? What are you doing in there?" There was a muffled yell from the bathroom. "Got fucking soap in my goddamn eyes! Oh, god! What is in your shampoo, alcohol!? Oh shit!"

"No, I don't buy any shampoo with alcohol in it. You probably aren't used to feeling soap get in your eyes."

"Jesus Christ, this sucks! Oh shit, I better not go fucking blind! You better hope I don't 'cause I will just seriously shoot you!"

Ulquiorra stiffened, his eyes widened. Ulquiorra's hand curled into a fist. "You don't know what your saying, do you?" he growled. Ulquiorra backed away from the door.

There was silence, the shower had stopped. Grimmjow froze in the act of drying his hair. The tone Ulquiorra had just used told him he shouldn't have said what he had just said. Not at all.

"Ulquiorra…? You okay?"

Ulquiorra was already gone.

Ulquiorra lay down on the couch, laying his head back on the cushions, his hands laying against his sides. Ulquiorra stared into the firelight, the flames dancing inside his green eyes, the snow hitting the window… it all reminded him of times he didn't want to remember, things he did not want to remember. The flames from the dancing fire reminded him, not of heat, but the chill that had filled the room when she had died.

I don't want to think about it. Don't think about it, don't think about it, you don't need to remember…I don't want to remember…

Ulquiorra closed his eyes tightly, the wind outside turned to screams, the sudden creaking of the stairs turned into his whimpers of fear, a gunshot, angry yells, the dripping on the floor was crimson blood as the man shot himself through the head—

"Hey! Hey, you okay?"

Ulquiorra's eyes flew open.

Grimmjow knew he had done something wrong. He had never cared before, this however was different. He could not explain why. It bothered him. He pulled on his boxers, threw a towel over his shoulders and walked downstairs, slamming the door behind him.

Then he heard whimpers. Grimmjow stopped, he felt something like nerves in his stomach and peered around the side of the stairs, he could make out Ulquiorra, curled up on his side on the couch. He seemed to be twitching. Grimmjow looked around the room cautiously before he began to walk downstairs.

Grimmjow stood right behind the couch now, he could hear him whispering things. Shit, did I do this? Grimmjow thought, now regretting talking to him the way he had. Grimmjow walked around the couch, and now stood right in front of him. Grimmjow felt himself shiver, the man's expression was pained, his eyes were screwed shut, his hands were clenched at his sides. He seemed asleep, but dreaming something truly terrible.

His whispers were barely audible, but every now and then he would whimper either in fear or pain. And finally Grimmjow decided to end his misery and reached out his hand, kneeling down as he did so that he was level with the man's face, he grasped Ulquiorra's shoulder gently and said.

"Ulquiorra? Hey! Hey, you okay?" Grimmjow shook him.

Green eyes flew open, Ulquiorra's hand seized Grimmjow's wrist in a death grasp and the body ceased in movement except for the rapid breathing. Grimmjow's eyes widened and he felt his blood freeze. Ulquiorra's eyes were wide open, his pupils dilated, his face frozen in panic. His eyes had a dulled frozen over look, dead looking but at the same time fearful. His breathing stopped the instant he saw Grimmjow staring at him.

Wide cerulean eyes stared into green eyes, Grimmjow was certain Ulquiorra didn't recognize him. And then just as that thought came to him, Ulquiorra's grip on Grimmjow's loosened and the widened, fearful, eyes returned to normal. Ulquiorra's eyes looked his face over once or twice and then finally he released Grimmjow's wrist and Grimmjow felt his blood flow continue normally.

Ulquiorra pushed himself up right, Grimmjow noticed his arms shaking, and wiped his fore head, his breathing coming out in shaky gasps. Grimmjow stared at him. He couldn't find his voice.

"A-are you okay?" Grimmjow asked him, his voice dry, a complete contrast to the rest of his body which was still wet from his shower.

Ulquiorra stared at him and then allowed his eyes to swivel around the room. "Yeah. I'm fine." Ulquiorra whispered, his voice betrayed a slight tremor. Grimmjow stared and said. "Are you going to tell me what—?"

"No!" Ulquiorra growled. "Your…" he stopped and turned his gaze to the ground. "It's none of your concern."

"It's something I said wasn't it?" Grimmjow asked him.

Ulquiorra rested his head against the back of the sofa, cold sweat still on his face and neck. Ulquiorra put his arm over his eyes, wanting to maintain his "I don't give a shit about anything" image.

"I did something to trigger this…didn't I?" Grimmjow growled, his gaze looking Ulquiorra over. Ulquiorra looked down. The man's expression was…guilty looking, his head slightly turned away, but his gaze still on Ulquiorra's, giving Ulquiorra the impression that he was saying "I'm sorry I did this to you but I am going to act like I am not as sorry as I actually am, if you get the drift.", which he probably was.

"Don't be sorry. You don't have much to do with it."

Grimmjow's head immediately snapped up. "I never said I was sorry!" he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. It actually looked cute…ish, in a way. "Your body language says otherwise." Ulquiorra murmured, closing his eyes, wishing his body would stop shaking. He could still feel Grimmjow's eyes on him, he hoped Grimmjow wouldn't notice him shaking.

"Well, I'm uh…this was supposed to be my sleeping place right…?" Grimmjow's voice said, seemingly at a loss for something to say. But Ulquiorra couldn't move, he was somewhere between sleep and consciousness. "Sleep here, then…" Ulquiorra managed to get out, pushing himself slowly against the arm of the soft couch. "There's room…"

Grimmjow sighed and said. "Nah, I need to spread out, I've never been able to sleep sitting up. Here, maybe we can move you?"

"Then sleep in my bed or something." Ulquiorra groaned. Grimmjow growled. "Sure, sure…"

Something strange happened. Grimmjow began to walk up the stairs, he was on the second step when he put his foot down on the third step. The third step let out a loud creak, He heard a rustle behind him and turned his head. Ulquiorra was sitting straight up, his whole body rigid. Grimmjow stared at him in bewilderment. What was wrong with him?

"Ulquiorra?" Grimmjow asked almost softly.

No response.

Grimmjow gently stepped down the three stairs and walked over to stand beside him. "What's up with you?" he asked.

"Stay." The man replied.

Grimmjow blinked. "Wha—?"

"You heard me. Sit down, curl up on the couch and go to sleep."

Grimmjow stared.

"Why? Are you afraid of the dark or somethin—?" Grimmjow began mockingly.

Ulquiorra turned a fierce glare on him. "Do whatever it takes to get comfortable and shut up and sleep." The man snarled, his tone saying "Do not mess with me right now, I am in no mood to be messed with, got it?!"

"Alright, alright!" Grimmjow snapped, walking around the couch and sitting down on it, muttering. "Crazy kid!"

And Ulquiorra closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

"Why did you do it?"

"Listen to me, please, you don't understand…it's—it isn't what you think!"

"I know what I saw! You fucking whore!"

The man's voice was at it's top volume, for every ear to hear, the neighbors, the passersby, and five-year-old Ulquiorra.

"I don't want to hear anymore of your whining! I don't need to hear it! You left me, you never loved me, ever! You lied, you stupid bitch!" the man screamed. Ulquiorra stood pressed against the door shaking terribly, he could see his mother sobbing, her hand on the arm of the couch, her other hand on her face.

"Please, dear, please, you know it didn't happen! You know it's all in your head, please!"

"SHUT UP! I gave you everything, a home, a child, everything! And you think I'll be fine when your off fucking another man, you stupid little shit!"

The black haired women's green eyes were swimming with tears, she sobbed harder. "No…no, I would never do that, never! Please…"

Ulquiorra's eyes widened, his heart began to race in his chest. Why was his mother crying, why was his father screaming at her? What was happening?!

The black haired man stepped forward, until he stood directly in front of her.

"You failed me…" the man was crying too, but his tears was angry and pained at the same time. "You failed me…fucking bitch! I loved you! Why?! Why did you do this why?!"

And then when the women sobbed harder, he reached into his pocket, pulling out what was unmistakably a gun. Ulquiorra's eyes widened, he knew what was going to happen, he tried to move, but his mother turned and shook her head. "Mom…!" he whimpered, his voice shaking.

Ulquiorra's mother looked up and saw the gun pointed at her. "No, please, don't do this. You have to understand, it isn't real, oh please, it isn't—!"

But the gunshot went off within seconds, blood splashed to the floor as the bullet was fired right into the women's heart, killing her in an instant.

Ulquiorra screamed, his hand covering his mouth the instant he realized his mistake, but sobs still came out. The black haired man either began to cry or laugh, he dropped the gun to the floor and staggered into the kitchen, overwhelmed.

Ulquiorra crawled forward, sobbing, as he looked down at his mother's body. "No, no, mommy, no! Wake up! Please!!"

"Shut up!" he father screamed, reached for the gun on the floor. No bullets left.

The man cursed loudly. "Shit! Son of bitch!" and he raced up the stairs.

Why did this happen? How could this happen? What had his mother done to deserve this? What happened to his father…?! Why was this happening?!

And then the footsteps started, soft, slow footsteps, down the stairs. Ulquiorra looked up, his eyes widening. The third stair creaked loudly and Ulquiorra's gasp was barely audible. His father was walking towards him, holding the now loaded gun in his hand, his eyes wide and blood shot.

Ulquiorra backed away, his heart racing, sobs wrenching themselves from him. His father walked towards him, slowly, pointing the gun directly into his son's face.

"You see what you made me do…? You see…?" and then he raised the gun and positioned it against his own temple. And a blood chilling grin slowly worked it's way onto his face, his eyes stared without seeing, and he pulled the trigger.

Ulquiorra sat up, his hands gripping his face, gasping for air as soft sobs tried to escape him. Ulquiorra's eyes were wide open, his chest and face were drenched in cold sweat, he was shaking uncontrollably. "Forget…Why can't I just forget it…?!" Ulquiorra moaned, his nails digging into his face, his eyes closing tightly.

A bang went off, Ulquiorra's eyes flew open. A truck drove by, throwing up slush outside the window and Ulquiorra bit his lip, feeling sick.

A single tear slid down his face, but Ulquiorra refused to allow any more to follow. Taking large gulps of air to calm himself, Ulquiorra tried to stand up, but couldn't. He looked down.

Grimmjow's head was lying in his lap. Then Ulquiorra blinked, the man had blue hair. Never had Ulquiorra seen such a think before, it was so blue Ulquiorra wonder how he had missed it earlier, the man off course hadn't taken his hat off until he was in the bathroom, but earlier when Ulquiorra had woken up…oh, he had been scared to death so that was why…

Had he been in any other mood he would have probably noticed immediately.

Ulquiorra continued to stare at the man, fighting down the strange urge to laugh, and at the same time to stop his fingers from stroking Grimmjow's hair. He wondered if it really was as soft as it looked?

Grimmjow had probably had a hard time falling asleep and decided "ah screw it!" put his head in Ulquiorra's lap and just went to sleep. His arm was also draped over Ulquiorra's knees, his fingers loose and relaxed, but Ulquiorra could see how lined the bottom of his hands were, how rough they looked. What did he do on the street?

Hang on, forget his hands. His shoulders were completely bare, Ulquiorra's eyes traveled down his back, all the way down to his rear and felt his face and neck get too warm for his comfort. The man was completely naked, except for the black boxers he wore that, Ulquiorra swallowed, showed off his perfectly curved, firm, ass.

Ulquiorra just stared, overwhelmed by the need to reach out and squeeze it. The man licked his dry lips, and turned his eyes away fast, fixing his gaze on the ceiling. If he were to just touch it, would Grimmjow allow it? Wait, what the hell was he thinking? He could not just do that to a man he had only seen twice (at the cleaners) and been in the same house with for at least 11 hours. It was wrong!

But, god, he wanted to…so bad…

"OW! Shit!!" Ulquiorra jumped and looked down in time to see Grimmjow fall of the couch. "Wha…?" Ulquiorra stammered, blinking. Grimmjow was gripping his shoulder, lying flat on his back on the floor. "Ow…what the hell, dude?! Your nails feel like knives!"

Ulquiorra blinked. When had he gripped Grimmjow's shoulder? Oh, when he was 'fantasizing'. Ulquiorra felt his face heat up and he swallowed, trying hard not to look at the man's exposed crotch. He has nothing I haven't seen on him…why should it interest me so much? Not that I am actually interested…shit.

"Thinking about something?" Grimmjow asked, frowning as he rubbed his shoulder. "Jesus Christ."

"Sorry." Ulquiorra muttered, not really listening to the man's complaints.

He was currently trying to make his—soon to be apparent-because-Grimmjow-was-probably-going-to-lie-his-head-back-down-on-his-lap— hard on go away. No luck.

Ulquiorra's hand curled on the side of the couch as he tried to force dirty images out of his head away. But no matter what he did he could not get the images of Grimmjow below him, moaning, out of his head. Shit.

Grimmjow pushed himself into a sitting position, his hand scratching his head. "Your weird, you know that? What the shit's up with you anyway?"

Ulquiorra allowed his eyes to travel down Grimmjow's form, he was actually kind of attractive. Ulquiorra allowed his gaze to roam Grimmjow's muscled shoulders and legs. It was only when he got back to Grimmjow's handsomely boyish face when he noticed blue eyes staring at him.

Ulquiorra glanced quickly away. Your an idiot. Now he's going to think you like him.

I don't!

Doesn't change the fact that he's got a nice ass. Which you want.

Shut up.

But you do.

Silence.

Grimmjow watched Ulquiorra in silence, to his surprise he noticed that the guy was checking him out. Grimmjow watched Ulquiorra's eyes trail down from his shoulders to his legs. Suddenly Grimmjow looked up at him, their eyes met, Ulquiorra hastily looked away. Grimmjow smirked, and allowed himself to look Ulquiorra himself over. He was slender, almost fragile looking, his skin was the palest Grimmjow had ever seen and maybe that was what made the green in his eyes stick out so much from the rest of his body.

His slightly messy hair and green eyes made him look cute, actually. Maybe even beautiful. Then Grimmjow noticed something else, his hand was clenched into a fist at his side. A thought came to Grimmjow suddenly, Ulquiorra checking him out, Ulquiorra avoiding his gaze, digging his nails into Grimmjow's shoulder, the clenched fist…Grimmjow followed Ulquiorra's gaze. Holy fuck.

He had to confirm this, he had to.

Grimmjow pretended to stretch, he removed his knee from his chest. He stopped and, through half closed eyes, watched the man's reaction. Ulquiorra's gaze watched him finish the 'stretching' and slid down to stare at his crotch. Yup. He was right. Ulquiorra immediately removed his gaze and stared at the ceiling.

Grimmjow smirked and immediately decided to play around with him. This was going to be fun.

"See anything you like?" Grimmjow asked him, smirking. Ulquiorra jumped. "W-what?" he murmured. Grimmjow merely grinned and sat up, walking over to him. Grimmjow saw Ulquiorra swallow slightly, his eyes focusing on Grimmjow's face.

Ulquiorra pressed himself into the cushions as Grimmjow put his leg over Ulquiorra's, his knee pressing against the couch cushion right next to Ulquiorra's leg. Ulquiorra's eyes were wide and his breath was coming out slightly faster.

"No."

Ulquiorra shoved him in the chest. Grimmjow yelped and fell off onto the ground. "Hey, what the fuck!?" Grimmjow exclaimed. "Unlike you, I will not have sex with someone I barely know. Pervert."

Grimmjow's eyes widened. "Pervert? Pervert?! You were the one staring at my cock a second ago! You are the pervert!!"

Ulquiorra sat down on the couch, his fingers now pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

"Jesus, you're a weird one. First you invite me to your house even though I stole your wallet was a smart-aleck to you, then you order me to sleep on the couch with you, then you talk in your sleep."

Ulquiorra still had his eyes closed.

"What happened to you?" Ulquiorra stiffened. Grimmjow's voice was now slightly softer. "You were whispering, in your sleep after I lay down on the couch with you. You were talking to someone. Who? You told them not to leave, who was it?"

Ulquiorra's hand gripped his face and his closed eyes narrowed. "Ulquiorra?"

Silence.

"Ulqui—?"

"Your better off not knowing." Ulquiorra said, the words came out in a hurry.

Grimmjow blinked. "Not knowing what?"

Ulquiorra didn't look up, he just stared through his fingers at Grimmjow. The man sighed and walked over, sitting down on the couch next to Ulquiorra. "Hey," Grimmjow whispered, prodding him in the arm with his index finger. "You gonna answer the question?" Ulquiorra shook his head. Grimmjow stared at him and scratched the back of his head lazily, closing his eyes. Grimmjow sighed stood up.

The slightly smaller man let out a startled gasp when Grimmjow put an arm at the small of his back and underneath his legs, heaved him into his arms and set Ulquiorra down in his lap. Ulquiorra was silent but he glanced over as Grimmjow's right arm slide around his shoulders in order to rest his hand on Ulquiorra's face, the pad of his thumb gently stroking Ulquiorra's pale cheek.

"Were your parent's murdered?"

Ulquiorra's eyes widened. Grimmjow's hand stopped stroking his face and he said. "Every time you hear that step creak, the third one, you freeze, I don't know if you freeze when your walking up the stairs, you probably don't, unless you walk over it or somethin—"

"It doesn't concern you. Just back off."

"Fine, fine, sue me for caring about you—!" Grimmjow stopped. "I do not care about you." he growled. Ulquiorra's eyes narrowed. "Sure you don't."

Grimmjow looked down at him. "I…" Grimmjow murmured.

There was a bang. Ulquiorra's eyes flew open, his hands clenched in his lap. The snow fell against the window, harder than before. Ulquiorra pressed his face against Grimmjow's chest. Grimmjow looked down. "Hey! Hey, what the…It's just a truck, Ulquiorra."

But Ulquiorra's eyes were wide and terrified, the same terror that Grimmjow had seen in them earlier was back. Now slightly worried Grimmjow gripped his shoulder. "What happened to you?" Grimmjow whispered.

Ulquiorra relaxed and took a slow breath. "Only one of my parent's were murdered. That was my mother. In this room." Ulquiorra whispered. Grimmjow listened carefully.

"My father was a good man at first. From what I learned he met my mother on the street, she was homeless and he took her to his house, which is where we are now. My mother admired him so much, she talked to me about him and what a wonderful person he was…and I agreed. Something happened one night. He got into an accident when I was barely three years old, he was hit by a car. He survived the incident, but at a price. His brain was partially damaged, and from that time on he was different. He became a drinker, he also became delusional, he made up all sorts of stories in his head. He believed my mother, who loved him alone, was cheating on him."

Ulquiorra stopped talking at this point. Grimmjow looked at him, waiting. "My mother and I had been warned about his condition, but she couldn't let him go, she wouldn't let him be taken to a mental institution, because she believed he would get better…But really, there was no chance of recovery. He got worse and worse but she insisted that he would get better whenever I asked her about him.

He became dangerous, bursting into violent fits of rage whenever she came home.

And…one night, it all fell apart. We…" Ulquiorra swallowed. "We both came home, he screamed at her for cheating on him, she hadn't done anything wrong. She kept begging him to realize that it was all in his head. He wouldn't listen…he couldn't.

"He took a gun from his pocket…He…he killed her with single shot. And I didn't move, I couldn't move to help the women who gave birth to me, who cared for me, who loved me more than anyone else ever would…I watched him kill her!" Ulquiorra whispered, his eyes closing, fighting back sobs. Grimmjow's arm tightened around him.

"He shot himself. He planned to kill me, but he turned the gun upon himself, he shot himself through the head. Why…? Why didn't he kill me? I can never live the same way again, every day I wake up, and I hear them screaming, I hear the gunshots, I walk through the front door and see her clutching the couch, crying…I want to forget…I need to forget…but…"

Ulquiorra could feel tears in his eyes, he bit them back. "I can't…!"

Grimmjow's eyes were wide as he looked down at Ulquiorra, curled in his arms, falling apart. Closing his eyes, he pulled Ulquiorra closer. Ulquiorra felt both of Grimmjow's arms tighten around him. He could find no words to say. He felt useless. Grimmjow opened his eyes.

"None of it was your fault. You were young, what the heck could you have done?"

You shouldn't have had to see that.

Ulquiorra swallowed hard. Grimmjow's arms tightened around him, no one had held him like this. Almost as if saying 'it's okay, I'm here.' Ulquiorra closed his eyes, nuzzling his face against Grimmjow's chest, his arm wrapped around Grimmjow's back. Grimmjow froze as he heard Ulquiorra's soft sobs. "Stay with me…" Ulquiorra whispered.

Grimmjow looked down, his eyes widening. Ulquiorra could feel the warmth in his eyes sliding down his face. He didn't want to start crying in front of Grimmjow of all people. But the pain was almost unbearable now. What else could he do? Grimmjow's hand gripped his shoulder and he whispered. "Just let it go." Ulquiorra buried his face in Grimmjow's chest, tears sliding down his face.

Stay with me.

Grimmjow looked down at him.

Idiot. As if I could leave.

Grimmjow put his arms around him and just held him there, closing his eyes and resting his chin against Ulquiorra's shoulder.

Shielding him from the cold.

I ain't goin' anywhere.


Ulquiorra's eyes opened the following morning. Snow was thick against the window, but it seemed early. Ulquiorra glanced over at the clock. It was 3: 00 in the morning. He then realized that he was alone. He jumped up, realizing as he did that he had fallen asleep on his side on the couch. Where had Grimmjow gone? Sighing, he rubbed his left eye and looked around the empty dark room. It wasn't like he had expected the man to stay long anyway.

But he wouldn't have minded. Wait, maybe he would have. Especially since Grimmjow had seen him so vulnerable last night. Why had he even told Grimmjow the story of his past last night anyway? It was private! It was personal…why had he told him?

Ulquiorra inwardly cursed himself as the answer came to him immediately.

Because I wanted to.

"Yo." Ulquiorra looked at the top of the stairs. It was Grimmjow, wearing his wholly jeans and one of Ulquiorra's turtle neck sweaters, blue, which matched his hair color. Ulquiorra watched him walk down the stairs until he stood only a few steps from him. "Why are you still here?" Ulquiorra's asked him, tilting his head slightly. Grimmjow blinked. "Why? Cause you wanted me to, don't you remember?"

Ulquiorra could not remember saying such a thing to him.

Grimmjow sat down on the sofa, staring thoughtfully in the empty fireplace as he said. "I was not always homeless, you know." Ulquiorra looked over at him, closing his eyes he sat down on the sofa next to him.

"I never knew my dad, from what I heard from my mom she met him, had a one night stand, and that was that. She was a slut. She used to bring guys over to her apartment. I learned that she was a prostitute…duh." Grimmjow added, rolling his eyes.

Ulquiorra watched him. "I left that stinking place as soon as I could, meaning when I was fifteen."

"Fifteen?" Ulquiorra repeated. "What did you do then?"

"I took my mom's wallet before I left, left her keys and everything important back home, including the wallet. I just stole the cash inside it. Ha!" he let out a bark of laughter, slapping his knee, grinning. "I'd have loved to have seen her expression!"

Ulquiorra stared at Grimmjow and said. "How long have you been on the street?"

"Two years, I'd have gotten away from her sooner, but the need only got stronger with age. I'm seventeen now." Ulquiorra stared. "Your only seventeen?"

"Yeah. What you think I was older? Heh. How old are you?"

"Nineteen."

"Oh."

"You think I was older?" Ulquiorra asked him. "No. Younger. Sixteen." Grimmjow said, scratching his ear lazily. "I figured you were too immature to be an adult." Ulquiorra explained. Grimmjow glared. "Hey…!" he said, eyes narrowing. "You look much older." Ulquiorra said. "Like you're twenty one."

Grimmjow grinned. "I hope I won't look much older when I'm twenty, I'll probably look like an old man when I'm thirty."

Ulquiorra sighed and sat down on the couch, closing his eyes tightly. Grimmjow went silent. "S'up?" he asked. Ulquiorra shook his head. "Where are you going to go?"

"Well," Grimmjow said, placing a hand on Ulquiorra's shoulder. "I was thinking I could stay here rather than hull my ass back out on the street. I wouldn't always have to sleep on the couch, maybe I could sleep in your bed?" Grimmjow said, smirking.

Ulquiorra stared at him. "Not likely."

Grimmjow's grin vanished. "Fine, fine…I don't know where I'm going to go…"

"No, I meant it isn't likely that you are going to sleep in my bed."

Grimmjow's eyes widened. "I'm…going to stay with you? I-I-I'm seriously staying here?!" Ulquiorra sighed, closing his eyes. "Do you honestly think I'm going to kick you back out in the streets to freeze to death, you idiot?"

Grimmjow stared, his eyes wide. "Forever?"

Ulquiorra just nodded. "As long as you want to."

Grimmjow's grin was huge, Ulquiorra opened an eye and stared at him, he couldn't help but laugh slightly. "Your the strange one, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow stood up and walked over until he stood in front of Ulquiorra, he leaned in until his face was an inch from Ulquiorra's. Both of Ulquiorra's eyes opened. "What are you—"

He was silenced when Grimmjow gently placed his lips on his. Ulquiorra's eyes widened. Grimmjow drew back, grinning like an idiot. Grimmjow kissed him again, but this time he placed his hands on Ulquiorra's face. It actually…felt nice, a complete contrast to what Ulquiorra could have expected. Ulquiorra hesitantly placed his hand on Grimmjow's cheek, his pale fingers sliding through his soft hair.

Ulquiorra returned the kiss, not really knowing else to do. Grimmjow drew back, his eyes wide. "Dude…" he just grinned. Ulquiorra blinked, he wasn't sure what had just happened. "You…you like me?" Ulquiorra said, raising an eyebrow.

Grimmjow's face actually turned slightly red. "Uh…no…I just…umm…shit…" Grimmjow looked away, one of his hands still on Ulquiorra's face, the other was scratching the back of his blue head.

"No. I do not. No. I uh…well, that was…I…um…Fuck. I do not—!"

Ulquiorra actually smiled ever so slightly, for the first time in ages. The man was quite cute when he was flustered. "Grimmjow, shut up." Ulquiorra said, leaning in so that he and Grimmjow were within inches of each other. He kissed Grimmjow and the man's eyes flew open, Ulquiorra could literally feel the man's heart beat beating a hundred miles a minute in his chest.

Ulquiorra took Grimmjow's face in his hands, and Ulquiorra felt the man begin to respond slowly, Ulquiorra's tongue lightly brushed at Grimmjow's bottom lip, and the man let him in. Grimmjow's mind was whirring and melting as Ulquiorra's tongue curled around his, Grimmjow could feel Ulquiorra's hands on his face, could feel Ulquiorra's tongue running over his teeth and occasionally brushing against his own tongue. Grimmjow moaned softly, pushing himself against Ulquiorra, his arm wrapping around Ulquiorra's waist, pulling them closer together.

Ulquiorra drew back, breathing heavily, Grimmjow looked dazed. His arms were still around Ulquiorra, his other arm was around Ulquiorra's shoulder's.

"You were saying." Ulquiorra asked him, leaning his head over Grimmjow's shoulder to gently lick at his earlobe. Grimmjow moaned softly.

"Shut up." He whispered, grinning.

But really, this had been the best moment of his life.

Well, there you are, my first actual GrimmUlqui centered fanfic. YAY!!!

I hope it was okay, I am not very good at writing them, sadly. Especially Ulqui, his personality is soooo difficult! And I am sorry for making him somewhat emotional, but wouldn't you be too if you were in his position?

And, Grimmjow DID like Ulqui, the first time he met him at the cleaners, which wasn't shown in the fic.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I for one enjoyed writing it and I am somewhat satisfied with it, but not by much. Review if you want but no one is making you.

Happy holidays!