Author: MarksGirl

Title: Caught

Rating: T for language, graphic drug use, and mentions of suicide. OK, that made it sound worse than it is

Spoilers: They're hidden, but they are there... But why are you reading this if you haven't seen Rent?

Disclaimer: I don't own Rent, I rent!

Comments: Appreciated! Suggested listening: None really

Summary: Maureen catches Mimi shooting up...

Time: Without You era

Pairing: Mimi/Maureen, Roger/Mimi, Past Mark/Maureen and Roger/April. There IS a bit of Mimi/Maureen slash, but it isn't bad, and it isn't really the point.

Notes: Enjoy, feel free to drop a review. Maureen's POV. Originally was going to be in Mark's POV, so if Maureen seems a bit ooc, that's why.

She thinks she's alone, forgot that I was only at the grocery store. She didn't here me come in. She ties the band around her thin, frail bicep. She still doesn't see me.

I'm entranced, and worried, and I do nothing. She's wearing only a pale lavender camisole, and I can see how thin she's getting. Seeing my friend's bones is like a slap in the face. How did I not see how sick she was? She still doesn't see me.

She taps her vein expertly. Holds the needle over her arm. And she looks up. Seeing me standing awkwardly in her door frame. Her eyes go wide.

"I was just.." I trail off and gesture to the bag of groceries I had in my arm. I'd moved in with her after my failed engagement with Joanne.

"Thanks." She still holds the needle over her arm.

"Anytime." I say, and walk toward our kitchen, setting the bag down on the counter. It's surreal, as if I didn't just walk in on Mimi about to shoot up. She finally moves the needle from her arm, dropping it on the table next to the couch she was sitting on.

I sit down right next to her on the couch. "Mimi, I thought you were stopping." I carefully control my voice.

"So did I." She deadpans. We sit there for a moment, and then her cold shell of nonchalance breaks down. She's sobbing suddenly.

"Shh! Meems, it's alright! I'm not mad. I just want to help!" I pull her into a tight hug, her cheek resting on my chest. I can feel her shake violently, half because of withdrawal, half because of the tears. I stroke my friend's hair. Her dark curls were matted and tangled.

"Roger broke up with me." She stutters.

"Why?"

"He caught me buying this." She points to the needle.

"I'm sorry." I don't know what to say, but I'm instantly angry with Roger. He knew what she was going through!

"You had nothing to do with this. I'm addicted because of my own weakness."

"Mimi…" I don't know what to say, so I just hold her for a while, and she grows calm in my arms.

"Maureen, what are we?"

"What?"

"What are we?" She repeats.

"Friends, roommates."

She looks up at me. And then she kisses me. She runs a hand over my thigh. I let out a soft moan, but I fight my instinct to let it happen, and push her away. "What are you doing?"

"Didn't you want it? I mean, you were… And you're a lesbian."

"But you're not yourself. You love Roger. Honey, this isn't you talking."

She turns from me then. Gets up, goes to the window.

"You're not mad at me are you?" I ask cautiously.

She pauses, but then admits "No."

"Good. Mimi you really should stop using."

She rolls brown eyes at me.

"I'm serous. Look at yourself. Mimi, what happened to No Day But Today? This isn't living every day as your last. This is giving up, and putting yourself in a stupor until you die."

"My T-cells are low." She admits. "I don't have much time."

"Meems, I'm sorry. But isn't this more reason to get clean, live your days happier, make good? Roger loves you. That's why he was so angry."

"What happened with April?"

"Mimi…" I start.

But she presses, "I need to know. I need to know why he pushed me away. Do I remind him of her?"

I run a hand through my hair. "He loved her, maybe not as much as he loves you, but he loved her. She was my friend back in high school, when I first started dating Mark. He and Roger were best friends, and we decided to play match-maker. It worked. The four of us eventually moved into the loft, with Collins and Benny. They got themselves addicted to heroin. Benny was oblivious. Collins was always away at school. Mark and I didn't know what to do. Things just went on for a long time. Then she started getting sick. Went to the doctor. About two weeks later, she'd stayed home alone, Roger had a gig, Benny was out, Mark and I on a date. When Mark and I got back, we found her in the bathroom. She slit her wrists. Dead. She couldn't deal with having AIDS. The everything happened so fast. Benny married Muffy, and we put Roger in rehab. Mark and I broke up. I couldn't deal, and got with Joanne. Roger came home, Mark took care of him. That was March. He didn't leave the loft for seven months. Christmas Eve. When he met you."

She nods. "She quit."

"Yes."

"And then I started using again… I quit too."