A/N: takes place mid episode of Season 5- Grounds for Deception.
The mid-morning sun shone beautifully, the early summer rays drawing out people eager to feel its warmth. The effects of the last few days of overcast weather, rain and thundershowers could be seen in the city and in the people. The rivers running down the streets had subsided but many puddles still littered the cement walkways and roads. Despite this, throngs of people were out enjoying the sun, a collective sigh that summer was finally upon them.
It was his preoccupation that caused him to stumble into one such puddle, water quickly working its way into his shoes. He looked disgustedly at the offending water hazard before making a leap to clear its edges. Mumbled curse words followed as he navigated out of the puddle, ignoring his sloshing toes and wet pant legs.
Doctor Sheldon Hawkes continued to stride purposely down the sidewalk. Sheldon managed to avoid another 'lake' without further water damage, his mind absently wondering if he had remembered to replace the spare socks kept in his locker at the lab.
Finally reaching his destination, Sheldon looked to the apartment building and paused to take in the civic number. Finding everything in order, he quickly took the stairs two at a time and found himself conveniently holding the door for a young mother with a stroller. The young woman gave him an appreciative smile as he slid into the building's lobby, thankful for his good luck. He was afraid if he had to buzz into her apartment, giving warning of his visit, he would be turned away.
As he found the elevator and pressed for the correct floor, Sheldon began to doubt himself. She was a very private person, had many good reasons for being so but as soon as the Doctor had heard the he knew his support was needed. It was his turn to return the favour.
After one of the most harrowing experiences of his life, being set up by Shawn Casey and accused of murder, she had been there to take him home. Sheldon had been so sure that the truth was not going to be found, that he was going to live out his life among the worst of the city's population. That Casey was going to get away with his deception and most important, that his friends had lost their faith in him. He should have known better.
Silence remained between them until they reached the department SUV that Stella had commandeered to the prison. They both sat there staring out the window, Sheldon happy that the dim grey walls and security fences were no longer part of his future. The security guards glared back at him from their perch at the entrance, their eyes watching him suspiciously while scrutinizing him as if he was any other petty criminal that graced the prison walls. It was that fact that disturbed him the most, that he was a law abiding CSI one day, an accused criminal the next.
Sensing the invasion into their privacy, Stella chose to start up the engine and put the SUV into drive. Pulling away from the parking lot, she glanced over to Hawkes. He wore a tight expression, his deep brown eyes betraying his emotional turmoil over the situation.
"You okay Sheldon?" He nodded slowly, thinking over his response. The thin veil of control he had been fighting to keep in check was beginning to waiver now that he was free of the prison walls. He had been trying so hard to keep his cool, the convicts he had been sharing quarters with could smell fear and he had no desire to become the focus of anyone's attention.
"Much better now Stell," his words stated quietly, evident to Stella that his emotions were still very raw. She gave him a reassuring smile, reaching over and rubbing his shoulder in a show of support.
"Good, we tried to get you out sooner Sheldon..." her words drifting off, the Doc simply giving her an appreciative smile. He trusted that his colleagues had been working hard to get the charges against him dropped but it did not wash away the hurt upon seeing the doubt written plainly on many of his colleagues faces over the last few days.
Sensing his feelings, Stella continued. "It was a sick feeling Hawkes, watching as they took you away in cuffs. I felt so powerless. All the tools at my disposal and I couldn't even get my friend out of an obviously bogus charge." She paused, looking over to Hawkes who sat staring out the window, not willing to give away his emotions. "I can't imagine what it was like for you."
Sheldon couldn't answer that question right now, choosing to remain quiet instead. He was still processing his thoughts, raw emotions that he needed to work through in the privacy of his own apartment before discussing them with anyone else. Stella noticed his reluctance, choosing to move off the topic for the moment. She could identify with not being ready to share those feelings.
"Everyone will be happy to see you. Danny and Flack are already putting together a get-together at Sullivan's tomorrow night in your honour," Stella explained. She chuckled, as she recalled Danny and Flack arguing over the time and place of said gathering. "You're lucky it is so late tonight, otherwise Flack or Danny would be waiting for you at your apartment."
Her words brought a chuckle out of Sheldon, the tension easing slightly in his face. "I count myself lucky then. It gives me some time to recuperate."
"I don't know if lucky is the word I would use," Stella stated sarcastically, causing Sheldon to smile.
Stella's presence had been comforting to him, despite the fact that most of the drive home had been in silence. Still processing much of his experience, his mind had been unable to formulate answers to questions he knew his friend had but Stella understood that. She had chosen to simply be there, letting him lead the way. Stella had first hand experience with working through traumatic experiences and she knew Hawkes needed time.
To know that through all of the last few days' events, his friend stood behind him. Sheldon needed that reassurance voiced by someone; his own brain had been working overtime on a vast number of unpleasant scenarios.
The elevator chimed obediently breaking his reverie, the doors opening to an empty hallway. Sheldon knew most people would be at work this time of day, as he should be. Hawkes just hoped that Mac didn't chew him out when he found out his whereabouts, although he figured even Mac wanted to make sure she was okay despite his anger. Hawkes heard about their blowout in Mac's office and saw their argument at the Kolovos crime scene. Danny had offered to cover for him but if there was a price to pay, he would take it.
Stopping in front of the correct apartment number, Sheldon raised his hand to knock but stopped shortly as he thought over his actions. He knew about her no men rule, Sheldon hoped she would not be offended by his unannounced visit.
His knuckles barely brushed the door when it was opened swiftly, a surprised gasp leaving the owner's lips.
"Sheldon..." Detective Stella Bonasera greeted with a confused look. She looked over her co-worker critically, imagining he wore the same startled expression.
"Stella." Hawkes returned as his planned greeting was wiped from memory at her surprise entrance. Stella raised an eyebrow to her colleague as he continued to stand there, staring at her.
"Hawkes?" she then prompted, questioning his appearance in her doorway. Stella stood before him with jacket and purse in hand, obviously leaving.
"I heard what happened...with Mac," he stated, Stella nodding her head and sighing heavily. She had a feeling his visit was no accident. "And the whole Kolovos thing," he clarified, which was not necessary.
"I figured the gossip wheel would be working overtime with that information," Stella answered a little bitterly, rubbing her hands together. Looking to Sheldon, Stella could see he was merely checking up on her and being a good friend.
Stella also knew the simple act of her storming out of Mac's office was enough to fuel the fire.
"News travels fast. This was big news Stella—you handing Mac you're badge...," Hawkes cocked his head slightly as he scoffed his feet on the floor, he had not believed the news at first himself. It was a big risk for Stella, which could have far-reaching consequences.
Stella bit back the angry retort and simply nodded her head. Her argument with Mac was still too fresh to be talking about it. This was Mac she was talking about; they would work it out—eventually. Sensing Sheldon was expecting a reply she instead opened the door further, indicating into the apartment.
"Want to come in?" she asked politely. Hawkes smiled and shook his head.
"That's okay Stella...," he declined. Stella watched him and then smiled, trying to ease his nervousness.
"Sheldon, if I wasn't comfortable with you in my place I wouldn't have offered," she explained, watching as he gave a smile at her keen perception.
"I don't want to intrude, you were just leaving," he indicated her coat and purse. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were kind enough to do the same for me once, I just wanted to know that this works both ways," Sheldon watched as Stella smiled knowingly; recalling when she had met him at Riker's after he had been wrongfully imprisoned.
"Listen, I suddenly have a very wide open schedule with me not working and all," Stella stated sarcastically. "I think I can squeeze a quick visit in before you have to head back to work."
Hawkes smiled, and shrugged his shoulders. "Okay."
He entered into her apartment, the entry way part of the bigger living room, several large windows looking onto the city. The room was decorated with a few personal pictures, her university degree and a few awards. Hawkes noted a few Greek themed items as well, embracing her Greek ancestry. A hall led away from his left to her bedroom he assumed. The kitchen straight ahead, off the living room. A dining area nestled in the corner, a large window lighting the area well.
"Coffee?" Stella asked, setting her coat and purse on the couch as she headed to the kitchen.
"Would love one," he replied with a smile.
"I promise it's better than the stuff at the office."
Sheldon simply smiled, knowing pretty much anything was better than the coffee at the lab. The simple fact was that bad coffee was better than no coffee. A few seconds later Stella appeared before him, encouraging him to sit down at the table.
"So, Mac know you're here?" she asked raising an eyebrow. He shook his head and gave her a mischievous smile.
"Danny's got it covered," causing her to nod her head. Both of them could only imagine what excuse the well meaning Danny would make up, most likely creating more trouble than intended.
"Well if Mac gives you any trouble, let me know. I will set him straight." Hawkes simply nodded again. He could detect the regret in her voice but there was anger as well.
"I can handle it, no worries Stella," this time causing the curly haired detective to nod.
Hawkes sat in silence for a few moments, the whistle of the kettle piercing the air. Stella quickly excused herself to retrieve their coffee. He watched as Stella moved quietly about the kitchen, his eyes scrutinizing her every move. Sheldon could see the fatigue, the pain and the uncertainty over her future in her demeanour. Despite the smiling bravado she put forth, it did not fool him into thinking she was okay.
Stella returned coffee in hand several minutes later.
"One sugar, one cream—right?" she queried, placing the coffee in front of him. He gave her a surprised look. "I wouldn't be a very good CSI if I didn't know those things would I Hawkes?" she returned with a sad smile. Both of them knew that future could be in jeopardy.
"Stella, can I ask you a question?" Sheldon looked to his friend tentatively, who gave him small nod as an indication to carry on. He took a small sip of his coffee before continuing, noting that this coffee was ten times better than the lab version. "Why did you give it up? Why give Mac your badge?"
Stella paused mid sip, raising an eyebrow and giving Hawkes a frown. "Wasn't it obvious?"
He shook his head, sighing. Not to him it wasn't. "No," he instead answered.
Setting her cup down gently, Stella stared at her cup a few moments before meeting Sheldon's gaze. She searched his face, seeing that he genuinely didn't understand.
"I didn't want Mac to have to make that decision," she supplied, her finger absently tracing the top of her mug. "I knew what I was doing Sheldon. Mac told me to step down but...I couldn't do that. Not after what happened, not after seeing the real picture of what was going on. Those bastards Kolovos and Diakos were baiting me, I knew if I was off the case it didn't mean they would leave me alone." Stella realized her voice was rising and paused, taking a deep breath.
"So you continued working on the case," Hawkes supplied, watching as Stella brought her emotions back under control. She took a sip of coffee before finding his gaze again, her green eyes glistening with anger.
"Yes. I bagged Kolovos, he should have been in a Cypriote jail cell being held on charges of antiquities smuggling. By the time I found Diakos, he was already dead."
"And you made the anonymous 911 call about Diakos?" Sheldon asked.
"Yes. That was me." She paused a moment, her mind momentarily replaying the hurt and anger Mac had displayed when he had confronted her with that information, the disappointment. "I was protecting Mac by not telling him what was going on and by giving him my badge; I prevented him from needing to ask me for it. I knew that would hurt the most," Stella's eyes fell, her fingers now tracing the grains of wood in the table.
"If I go down that's fine Sheldon, like I said I knew the consequences of my actions and I am prepared to face them," she met his eyes once again. "I just don't want this to reflect badly on Mac, which would be my only regret about this situation. "
Sheldon's hand left his forgotten coffee cup and gently reached out for her fidgeting hand. He squeezed it gently. "Mac's lucky to have a friend like you," causing Stella's lips to curl into a solemn smile.
"I don't know that he would call it lucky right now," she supplied humourlessly. Sheldon's dark fingers squeezed her hand once more before his phone's sharp shrill interrupted the moment.
Looking at the caller ID, he sighed. Busted. "Hawkes," he answered evenly. The conversation lasted only a minute before he hung up, Stella giving him a small smile.
"Mac?" she surmised.
"Yeah, he wants me back at the lab right away," Sheldon stated, taking a long swig of the cooling coffee before standing.
"I'm sure it wasn't that polite," Stella knew that although Mac was very fair and even-tempered, his tolerance for shenanigans today would be far less than usual. Deciding to ignore that comment, Sheldon rose from the table and gave Stella a smile.
"Thanks for the coffee."
"No problem," Stella replied with a genuine smile. Rising and stepping forward, she embraced Sheldon in a hug. "Mac's not the only one who has good friends," she stated quietly as she held him tightly for a moment. Stepping back, she gave her friend a reassuring smile. "Things will work out in the end Hawkes, they always do," stating her words with more conviction and faith then she felt at the moment.
"You need anything, let me know Stella," he offered, Stella smiling in return.
"I know your number," she supplied, giving him a small wave.
With a final reassuring smile, Hawkes opened the door and left. As he began to worry what was waiting for him back at the Lab, Sheldon felt reassured that for the moment Stella was holding together okay. Despite her words to the otherwise, he knew she was hurting but that was not something he could fix. For the moment, both Stella and Mac were too angry to put in the same room together.
Give it time, he thought as he entered into the elevator car. Stella and Mac would work it out, they always did. In this, Sheldon had full faith. He just wished he had a better prediction of what would happen to Stella's NYPD career.
Whatever happened, he would stand by her. They all would. If nothing else, he had learned in his years since joining the team that they were a family. Through thick and thin, birth and death- they had persevered and he intended for that to continue.