Summary: Dean attempts to teach Castiel about headlocks, but it backfires on him a bit. Weird, little one-shot-y thing. Destiel friendship.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Simply tragic.
AN: I don't quite know where this came from. It's just a little one shot. Set somewhere in season 5. I don't know when, I just know it's before all of the massive stuff starts going down- so it's somewhere before S5 ep 18. No slash unfortunately, just a little bit of play fighting and a naïve angel.
Warnings: Bit of violence, swearing, accidental partial strangling.
/
Dean rolled his eyes, having recovered from the angel's sudden appearance which had occurred about a minute previously. During that minute he'd also established that the angel had just 'dropped by to make sure that all was well.' Well, fair enough. All kinda was well. Sam was in the bathroom, he'd been having a shower, but the water wasn't running anymore so Dean assumed he was getting dressed. They'd most likely be heading out for breakfast within the next hour or so and then would probably skip town.
Dean noticed that Castiel was staring at him, unblinkingly, as if waiting for him to speak again. He smirked, a slightly devious look slipping onto his face.
"Hey, Cas… Come over here. I wanna show you something," he said simply. The angel tilted his head slightly and took a step forwards, unable to contain his curiosity.
"What is it that you wish to 'show me,' Dean?"
Dean grinned and shook his head, deciding to tease the angel. "If I told you, it'd ruin the surprise."
"I am not sure that I like surprises and certainly not the kind that are usually associated with you…"
"I'm hurt, Cas," Dean declared dramatically. He grinned and shook his head.
"Come on, you trust me- don't ya?" Castiel frowned at him.
"I believed that to be obvious," he said simply, narrowing his eyes a little.
"Exactly," Dean acknowledged, before moving forwards quickly and trapping the unaware angel in a headlock. Castiel blinked repeatedly, before staring at the hunter in confusion from his new found position.
"Dean. What is this? Is this some new form of greeting or affection that you have recently acquired?" he asked slowly. He could easily break the hold around his neck, or simply fly out of it…but if it was a gesture of affection or goodwill, he didn't want to upset or annoy Dean. However, he was confused. It was a peculiar and illogical course of action.
"No, Cas," Dean said, laughing, but not releasing the angel. "It is so not a 'new form of greeting or affection that I have recently acquired.'"
He suddenly frowned when his arm full of angel neck was replaced by an arm full of air. Damn it. The angel had done a disappearing act. Well, that was no fun…Now he'd never get to explain the joys of a headlock. He stepped back in surprise as Castiel suddenly appeared again.
"Then I do not understand, Dean," he said, staring at him unblinkingly. Dean rolled his eyes, looking kind of amused. "I would've told you right there and then if you hadn't took off like a rocket."
"I did not 'take off' remotely like a 'rocket,' Dean. A rocket, or a ship, or any other form of …air vehicle flies through the use of previous propelled materials to thrust and push them forward. I, however, since I am angel, just use my wings to take flight. I do not need to use previously propelled fuel and strange systems to assist me in flying or travelling," Castiel pointed out patiently. Dean sighed in exasperation.
"That's…great," he said sarcastically, chuckling slightly. Castiel stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to explain his weird actions.
"It's called a headlock," Dean informed him, deciding to take the explanation process slowly.
"I see…" the angel acknowledged, looking perplexed. "The term 'lock,' implies that my head was securely contained or restricted…But it was not. Surely to 'lock' a head, alone, it would be best to remove it…And then secure it. As opposed to simply wrapping one's arm around the desired head? It is not perhaps the best course of action to attempt to 'lock' the head of an angel. Particularly if the…headlocker is a human, as the angel would probably destroy the said human… Before they had even received the chance to attempt to 'lock' the head of the aforementioned angel."
Dean stared at him for a few moments, unable to understand how Castiel could analysis such a simple concept so much. After a few seconds, he threw back his head and laughed. He knew it shouldn't be so amusing, but it just was. He still didn't know why everything had to be so complicated with angels, particularly Cas. If it hadn't been so damn funny, he would've regretted his choice to attempt to headlock the angel. "It's a human thing. Usually used on other humans…Most of the time it's used for messing around, play fighting, you know? Some dicks use it in a proper fight though. It's pretty easy for me to get outta the headlocks of most humans though."
"So it is…a fighting action? Perhaps not always a serious one?" Castiel questioned doubtfully. Dean shrugged.
"Kinda," he agreed. The angel said nothing, as he tried to understand the notion of a headlock. After a few moments he sighed, and shook his head.
"I still do not understand, Dean," he declared eventually.
"Hmmm…that sucks," ordinarily, Dean would just tell him to forget it or something…but this was something that he felt he just needed to know. The ability to headlock was something that the men aside from the boys. He may've been an angel, but it was just something Cas needed to know.
"Alright, I got a plan," he concluded after a few moments.
"And what does this 'plan' entail?" Castiel pressed, tilting his head slightly.
"Me, pulling Sam away from his girly bathroom behaviour, and you not telling him that I have a plan, or mentioning the head lockin' business," here Dean paused and glanced at the angel. "Think you could do that for me?"
Castiel nodded slowly. "I will not inform him of the fact that you have a plan, or of the fact that attempted to somehow lock my head…"
"Awesome," Dean said with a smirk. He strolled over to the en suite and pounded on the bathroom door for a few moments. "Hey, Sammy! You decent?" he called.
"Er, yeah?" Sam replied loudly, sounding confused.
"Get your ass out here, yeah? I want your help explaining something to Cas," Dean declared, stepping away from the door. He noticed the angel's confused and somewhat wary glance and shot him a disarming grin.
"Don't worry, Sam'll be fine," he chuckled quietly.
"You plan to hurt your brother?" Castiel asked, looking a little shocked.
"You crazy or something? No way," Dean retorted, rolling his eyes. He smirked slightly as he heard the lock of the bathroom door click open. A few seconds later, the door swung open and Sam stepped up.
"'Bout time…Like, seriously man- How long do you need to get ready? I swear, you're such a girl," Dean teased immediately. Sam glared at him.
"Shut up," he said simply, before glancing at Castiel. "Hi."
"Hello, Sam."
"What's up then? What'd you want me to help 'explain,' Dean?" Sam asked his older brother, raising his eyebrows.
"Well, it's more of a demonstration really," Dean commented, his face lighting up in amusement. Sam glanced at him warily, deciding that he didn't like the sound of that, or the expression on his face.
"Dean," he growled, warningly.
"Lighten up, Sammy," Dean suggested with a smirk before attacking his brother and managing to get him in a headlock very quietly.
"What the hell, Dean?" the younger Winchester snapped, struggling against the tight grip. Dean ignored his protests, and snickered.
"Ya see, Cas? This is a headlock."
Castiel stepped closer, tilting his head slightly and studying the pair thoughtfully.
"Yes…you do, indeed, appear to have Sam's head secured in your arm. Perhaps it should be called a 'trap-a-head-in-an-arm," he suggested.
"Doesn't quite have the same ring to it," Dean said simply, before releasing his glaring brother.
"You're such a jerk!" Sam hissed, rubbing his neck in annoyance.
"Like it even hurt, you bitch," Dean scoffed. He then smirked. "Besides, I was just showing Cas how to do a headlock. Doing it on him didn't work."
The younger Winchester couldn't stop himself from grinning at the image of his brother head-locking the angel. He could just picture the confused expression on his face, and torrent of questions he would've chucked at Dean afterwards. However, he still didn't appreciate being used as a test dummy. He noticed the thoughtful and confused expression of Castiel. "Newsflash, Dean; ya kinda failed- he clearly still doesn't get it entirely."
"Damn!" Dean complained with a sigh. He glanced at Cas. "Come on, man…It's fairly simple."
"I still do not quite understand the purpose," Castiel said simply, before disappearing.
"And so he decides to leave before we can try and explain more," Dean said, with an exasperated air to his voice.
"You just randomly decided to headlock him?" Sam questioned, raising his eyebrows. Dean nodded, looking amused. The younger Winchester blinked in surprise as Castiel appeared right behind an unaware Dean. He was about to greet the angel, or ask what he was doing…but stopped, deciding it would be more amusing or his brother to get made jump by the angel, like he always did. And, like always, it would be pretty hilarious. He watched in a combination of shock and amusement as Castiel yanked his brother back and promptly secured him into a headlock. Dean, who immediately started struggling against his attacker, released a slight cry of frustration and surprise that sounded something like 'Gah!"
He relaxed a little as he realised that it was only Cas…but that didn't change the fact that he was annoyed, and surprised at how quickly the angel had learnt to carry out an efficient headlock. Or the fact that the grip was beyond uncomfortably tight. His finger's curled around the angel's arm, clawing and prising at it- trying to break the grip.
"Cas…" he protested hoarsely, finding that the tight grip was choking him somewhat. Sam, who had fallen back on the bed, was practically rolling around in laughter by now. He actually couldn't believe it. This was totally hilarious. It was just payback, it served Dean right. He'd headlocked Cas, and then head locked him and now…it really had backfired because the angel had Dean in a headlock. In a grip that was apparently rather uncomfortable.
"I think that I may, perhaps, understand the human notion of a 'head lock' a little more now," Castiel remarked, studying Dean thoughtfully. He frowned at that fact that the green eyed hunter was grimacing, breathing in a semi strained manner, making the occasional choking sound and was trying very hard to break his grip. "Dean. Are you alright?"
"No!" Dean snapped weakly. The glare he was giving him was somewhat marred by the fact that his emerald eyes were filling with water - because his chest and throat were starting to burn a bit, due to his airways being restricted.
"Er, Cas," Sam began, jumping up. "You may wanna let him go. I think you're choking him a little bit."
"Oh…I apologize, Dean," Castiel immediately released him, looking at him in concern. Dean stumbled away, coughing and clutching at his throat.
"Thanks," he rasped. Sam smirked; he just couldn't help but find it amusing.
"You alright man?" he teased.
"Shut up!" Dean growled instantly. He shot his brother a glare, whilst massaging his throat a little with his hand.
"Dean," said Castiel, stepping towards the hunter- a guilty and worried expression on his face. "It was not my intention to cause your pain or to restrict your respiratory system. Forgive me. Do you require me to 'use my mojo' to heal you?"
"Its fine," Dean said simply. He couldn't resist smirk at the angel's choice of words though. He really couldn't stay mad at Cas over this. Particularly not when he seemed to be feeling so guilty. Plus…even he could admit that it was kinda funny and at least he'd now grasped an understanding of headlocks.
"Dude," Sam snickered. "You really should've expected this to backfire, you know."
Dean smirked and nodded. He noticed that Castiel was still studying him anxiously and shrugged. He reached out and clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly.
"Seriously, Cas. Not a problem. You know I've had worse."
"But Dean…"
"Its fine," the elder Winchester reinstated. He flashed the angel a proud grin, to which he responded with a small, confused smile. Sam smirked, and rolled his eyes.
"Gotta say though…" Dean paused. "Atta boy Cas! You'd better use that in a fight with your angel buddies."
The elder Winchester glanced at the angel thoughtfully, and nodded slightly. "And don't you worry your feathery little head, I got plenty more stuff I can teach you!"
"I regret to inform you, but that does, in fact, concern me greatly…"