This was a recent entry to the CoS Writing Contest , 'Any Character's First Kiss'. What can I say, I have a twisted sense of humour.
Jo Rowling owns all of this, of course. Even good old Auntie Muriel.
Ron, hiding in that funny little gap between his bed and the wall, hears the door of his room open slightly, that dreading creaking sound of the not-too-well-oiled hinges, and light – but not light enough – footsteps making the floorboards groan. He curls further into himself, trying to make himself as small as possible. He can see that small wrinkled face leaning in towards him again … and he knows that the slobbery grossness of it all is going to haunt him for a couple of nights to come.
'Hello, here is he, Fred.'
Two identical faces appear under the bed; each carries a wicked little grin. 'Come on, now, Ron, it wasn't that bad,' the one on the left says. Ron has the vaguest feeling that he is lying.
'I didn't see her stalking and snogging you,' the seven-year-old snapps back at the dark faces. 'It was disgusting, all wet and … ' He shudders.
'Still, no reason to come and hide behind your bed like a little girl,' says the face on the right – George. 'Be a man! Come back downstairs and face the music! What doesn't kill you makes you stronger and so forth.'
'Easy for you to say,' he mutters, but slowly he crawls out from the cosy cubby-hole he's been inhabiting. Unwilling to go downstairs just yet, though, he sits on his bed, all arms and legs, with body hunched up.
Fred looks as though he is trying to hide a snigger whilst George merely glares at him. 'Looks like Ginny has company in the girl-department,' he shrugs before turning away, but Ron catches his arm.
'It's embarrassing,' he squirms. 'You don't know – she never does it to you.'
'Ron.' Fred places a hand on his younger brother's shoulders and looks at him. 'She's done it now, and she won't do it again. No one even remembers, I bet. Stop sulking, it's so unbecoming on your innocent little face.'
Ron pulls a face, but slowly follows his brother's out the door and down the stairs.
He has the feeling he might regret it. And when he gets back into the living room and sees Auntie Muriel's fat shiny face beaming at him from under the bright blue banner reading 'Happy birthday Ron!' he knows he's never going to trust his twin brothers with so much as a broken toy.
'Come here, my little Ronniekins, give Auntie Mu a kiss …'
Blegh.
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