Written for the TFIOS Quote Challenge, the Organization Boot Camp prompt #35 (difference) and the If You Dare Challenge #78 (to the end).
Remaining Memories
"I love you Hermione."
"I love you too Ron."
"It's wonderful, it's so wonderful that we're together again."
"I know."
"It's been a long time Hermione. It's been so long since we last spoke."
"No Ron, it hasn't…"
She already knew the conversation that was going to unfold. Each time she visited him she tried to get him to see that these things had already happened. She tried to make him understand that she wasn't gone for long periods of time, but that she came to visit him every single dya. He just thought that she'd been gone for a long time.
He always thought that. Ron hadn't been able to remember more than a few minutes for a long time.
Hermione knew the bleak hallways outside his room by heart. She knew every gash, every hole, every crevice in the walls there. For years, she spent a lot of time sitting outside of his room thinking about what she should say to him, and then she would cry a lot before she went in to see her husband. And even if she'd only been in a few minutes before, he'd still think it had been a long time since they spoke.
It broke her heart that Ron didn't remember things anymore. Steeling her courage outside the blank white door, she stepped into his room and surveyed the space. As always, it looked the same.
"Hermione!" he cried, hopping up from his seat. He was playing wizards chest, by himself, like normal. "It's great to see you love! Merlin, how long has it been?"
"It's good to see you too Ron," she replied, kissing him on the lips. "You look well."
"I feel great! You look well too. You're hair, it's so beautiful."
"Thank you Ron."
He titled his head to the side, looking at her with nothing but adoration in his eyes. "I love you Hermione."
"I love you too Ron."
"It's wonderful, it's so wonderful that we're together again."
"I know."
"It's been a long time Hermione. It's been so long since we last spoke."
"No Ron, it hasn't…"
He frowned. "Of course it has! You haven't been up here in a while. I would remember seeing your beautiful face."
No Ron, you wouldn't. She glanced to the bed, where a journal sat. Walking over he followed, sitting on the bed. "You wrote this?"
"Yes."
She flipped open the pages, already aware of what was inside. "Do you remember this? You wrote all about me on this day, see? Just yesterday I was here."
Ron frowned, pushing the book away. "I didn't write that. I would remember you being here."
"But you just said you wrote it," she reminded, repeating an age old conversation between them. "It's your handwriting."
"Well… I don't remember that! I must've been asleep when I wrote it!"
"No, you were quite awake… you write everything in here that you're thinking about whenever your memory changes over. When your short term memory runs out your thinking process starts over because you no longer have any long term memory."
She knew that everything she just said sounded like gibberish to him. She knew it. Yet she couldn't stop herself from saying it. She wanted him to understand and believe and be okay again. She didn't want him drifting in this constant state of new memories. He didn't form memories about the past anymore, not since his accident.
Hermione wouldn't let herself think about that.
"You're silly," he said with a shake of his head and a crooked grin. "You've always used big words Hermione, but that was super complex. What are you talking about?"
"Never mind," she replied with a sigh, glancing at the clock. Everything would start over again in a few seconds…
"Hermione! It's great to see you love! Merlin, how long has it been…"
She sat in the hallway later crying. She hadn't cried over this experience in ten years. Ten years ago she ran away from her husband, when she couldn't take the situation. She was only gone a few months, off living at her parent's house, but Ron didn't even know. He had no idea how much time passed between her visit before she moved elsewhere and her return visit when she decided she could never leave him.
Now all she could do was cry. A new treatment had been administer to Ron in hopes that it would help bring some of his memories back. That as three long weeks ago. The Healer's said if there was no affect by then that the potion did nothing good or bad. He was the same.
She just wanted him to get better. She wanted her husband out of this permanent section of St. Mungo's, where all patients went when there was no hope that they would go home. She wanted her husband back; it wasn't too much to ask.
Someone came and sat down beside her. She didn't need to look up to know who it was. He'd been coming to this section of St. Mungo's for longer than she could remember. His parents had been there for years.
"Treatment didn't work then?"
"Not even close."
He reached out and pat her shoulder gently. "Sorry Granger."
"It's okay Malfoy, this isn't your fault."
His hand stiffened at that, and he withdrew. "We both know that's a lie Granger."
Yes, maybe that was true. Ron, who suffered from a long-term memory loss dilemma due to overexposure to the Imperio Curse during the end of the war, was tortured in Malfoy's home. But the blond had been dealing with some unknown issue with his parents at the time, something he never spoke about. She presumed that this instance happened right before Harry killed Voldemort and led to his parent's permanent stay at St. Mungo's. It was the only explanation she could produce.
Hermione didn't ask him questions, and in turn she didn't ask him any. It was a bizarre friendship in a way. They grieved together, and tried to get through life after each grueling experience at St,. Mungo's. Visiting someone you love who's in such bad condition can really pull on the heartstrings.
"It's the truth," she said after a moment, staring at the wall she knew by heart. "You took care of the people you cared about most, and I tried to take care of mine. I don't think either of us did all that great."
Malfoy shrugged. "Hey, they're alive. We did something good."
"Yes, I suppose." They sat in silence again, comfortable where they were as people passed by. But Hermione could feel her resolve breaking. Lately it was harder and harder to visit Ron.
"Don't cry Granger. I think you've already done that once today."
"So?"
"So you've said before that you're children worry when you come back like that. Remember, dry cheeks and light smiles. Try to keep your chin up."
"Maybe I should be feeding that line back to you Malfoy. You never leave here seeming too jolly."
"I have no one to impress Granger. Astoria ran away with Scorpius ages ago. I'm still in the middle of a custody battle to get him back."
"I know, and I'm sorry."
"Yeah well, if sorry could fix things then life would be better for us all."
She nodded her agreement. And for several minutes they sat quietly again before she broke down crying.
"Didn't we just go over this?" Despite his rude tone, he placed an arm around her nonetheless. They'd grown comfortable with each other enough to offer up shoulders to cry on after ten long years. "What's gotten you so upset today Granger?"
"It's not from today," she whispered, attempting to stop the tears. "It's from the last time I visited."
"Oh, and what happened then?"
She attempted to stop her crying, but Draco still knew she was on the edge of breaking down again at any moment. "He forgot her name."
"Beg pardon?"
Hermione shook her head. "He forgot Rose. He forgot her name; he forgot his daughter. Last time, I talked to him about it for ages. This time, he at least remembers her. But he actually forgot her last time."
"And now he remembers something he forgot. That's progress Granger. Take it while you can."
"It's not progress," she muttered, wiping her eyes. "It's the same vortex he's been living in for ten long years; the one he can't get out of. The Healer's say he'll probably forget Hugo again sometime soon for a while."
"And then he'll remember again?"
"Yes, though it won't help much. He doesn't always recognize their photographs."
"Still haven't brought them in, have you?"
She shrugged, looking sadder than before. "They knew him when they were very young, before things started to really get bad. I just don't want them to see him like this."
"They don't see him at all."
"I know. When he gets better, they'll see him. I'll bring them in and they'll meet the real daddy for the first time, not the man who's hurt right now."
"What if that never changes Granger- hypothetically? What if he doesn't improve, just like my parents haven't improved?"
She shook her head, as though she was completely ruling out that possibility. "I promised them. It's going to happen."
Draco snorted, scooting away from her so he could look directly into her eyes. "You know, sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them." She shot him a glare, and he cleared his throat, knowing she was angry. "Right, of course. But, you keep that promise anyway Granger. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love?"
"Yes," she admitted, "Ron's my true love. But what does this have to do with my children?"
He smirked, patting her head. "Granger, sometimes promises are hard to keep. You need to admit that to yourself and your children before you come back here. You need to admit that you don't know what tomorrow's going to bring, or how your husband's going to react. Hell, maybe he will get better one day. You told me once that you promised to be with him to the end."
"To the bitter end," she agreed, studying him. "I won't leave him."
"And that's love Granger. You have it, and obviously Weasley feels it if he still remembers you despite everything. But love can also mean having to be strong for those you care about. You have to be strong for your husband who can't be strong right now, and for you children who don't understand why daddy's out of the picture. Just don't feed them lies. Don't promise that you can let them meet their true father one day if you don't know for sure. Don't leave the possibility to hurt them more than they already are on this topic. Situations like this are hard on everyone. Being a split family is difficult."
"Tell me about it," she muttered. "I just want him to see the difference between yesterday and today and tomorrow. I want my husband back!"
"And he will come back. But if you keep letting doubt cloud your mind, you're going to start believing he won't. Don't do that to yourself." He stood, offering his hand to her. She took it, brushing her bum off as she stood.
"You should bring Potter in sometime," he continued, knowing her secret. Harry partially blamed himself for what happened, since he was so nearby at the time. But Harry had other things to worry about. Hermione didn't blame him for what happened; Harry blamed himself. And he had yet to visit his friend since he felt so awful. Maybe it was about time she brought Harry in…
"I think I will," she agreed, glancing at her husband's door one final time. "I think I want to speak to him once more before leaving."
"Suit yourself Granger. I'm done visiting for the day." He brushed past her, only to turn back while finger his lip. "And Granger?"
"Hmm?"
"Keep your chin up." She smiled softly at the encouragement of her friend. Squaring her shoulders, she opened the door and stepped inside the room.
Malfoy was right. Ron would get better someday. She just needed some faith.
"Hermione!" he cried, hopping up from his seat. He was playing wizards chest, by himself, like normal. "It's great to see you love! Merlin, how long has it been…"
A/n: This is an actual disease, but I put an Imperio twist on it. We watched a documentary about someone like this in my psychology class, but I can't remember what it's called. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and leave a review if you could! This story's a little quirky…
