A/N: I'm kinda new to the whole fanfic writing thing, so.. any advice etc. would be appreciated :)
Also, this is a pretty filthy first fic, they won't all be porn I promise haha.
Prompt from the glee kink meme: Quinn feels terrible for the way she's tortured Rachel throughout high school, so she asks Rachel to punish her. Would love to see some spanking (hand, hairbrush, paddle, belt, all of the above...), gagging (preferably with her own soaked underwear), being tied down, and orgasm denial.
"Quinn. You can't be serious… You know that I forgave you for all that years ago surely?"
Rachel's voice is incredulous but there are considerable amounts of concern in the way she gently regards the girl sitting in front of her with her head bowed. Blonde hair falls into her eyes as she tilts her head up, forcing herself to meet Rachel's loving gaze.
"Honestly, Rach I know. And I know how much you love me, I do... I just…"
She breaks eye contact again as she struggles to find the words. Rachel's fingers trace ever so gently across her cheek and down to her jaw line while her other hand reaches for Quinn's, tangled and knotted together in her lap.
"Hey, come on, you know that I'm not going to judge you for anything, and I want to understand this, so please try and talk to me baby?"
Quinn's head nods in assent imperceptibly as she takes a deep breath and forces out the words she feels like she's been waiting a lifetime to say,
"I can't stop thinking about how awful I was to you. And please, it's not about how much you forgive me or not, because you're one of the sweetest people Rach, and I know you honestly do forgive me. But it's just that... I don't feel okay with myself. I don't feel like I've received penance for my sins, and I know, I know"
She notices Rachel shaking her head and she can practically hear the insults, mostly rightfully directed at her father that are about to come out of her girlfriend's mouth,
"I know that this need for punishment might be something to do with my upbringing or whatever…"
She shakes her head tightly, short blonde hair rustling around her shoulders, her hands twisting together in her uncomfortableness,
"But either way, this feeling has been here for a long time and honestly, I'm not sure just how much of it is entirely dependent upon my family."
Rachel looks confused, but willing to hear whatever Quinn wants to tell her, so the blonde pushes her doubts aside and forces herself to remember that this girl loves her, loves her, and nothing she says will change that.
"Erm… well… I've always kind of had… fantasies. I mean not specifically about this, but I guess um… about giving up control and letting someone…" By this point her eyes are fixed firmly on the floor and her cheeks are flushed "…dominate me."
Her eyes flit back up to Rachel's face just in time to see her eyes widen slightly and her jaw clench as she swallowed hard.
"Rach I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just… I've been thinking about it a lot, and… I shouldn't have said anything I'm sorry"
She closes her eyes tightly, wishing for once she had kept her mouth shut, but Rachel just lifts one hand to her face, slowly pushes her fingers through blonde tresses, and brings her lips gently to Quinn's cheek,
"Baby, don't ever be sorry about telling me this okay? It means so much to me that you felt that you could talk to me, honestly. I love that you trust me so much."
Quinn feels her lips quirk up a little at the corners at the thought that 'yeah, I'm gonna be with this girl forever', and her heart manages to squeeze in just a little more love for the girl sitting in front of her.
"And if you really want me to…" She brings up her eyes hopefully, looking into the chocolate ones radiating love and warmth, "…I suppose I'll give it a go."
Quinn doesn't say anything, can't – just buries her head in Rachel's neck and wraps her arms tight around her waist trying to convey through her actions 'you have no idea how much this means' because her throat is constricting and she honestly never thought she'd feel so safe with someone.
The conversation doesn't end there, and there are others as well. Details Quinn found it damn near impossible to vocalise, matters of how far and toys to purchase and safe words and once the words were out she was almost shocked at how she could feel her body responding – the images in her head so much more vivid now that the girl she loved was agreeing to do this with her.
They wait until that weekend, because although Quinn is eager, she knows Rachel would prefer it if she had some time to adjust to the idea, but with each one of their conversations she's noticed how the once reluctant girl was slowly losing said inhibitions, and Quinn wasn't sure if she was imagining the spark in her eyes but she liked to believe that maybe Rachel was even.. looking forward to it?
Once it's just the two of them, in the bedroom of their compact New York apartment, Quinn is practically thrumming with anticipation because God she just can't believe this is finally happening, and as her punishment gets closer the promise of redemption just gets sweeter. Even though Rachel can sense Quinn's eagerness she feels the need to just make sure one last time...
"You know I don't mean anything I'm going to say right? And you know that I wouldn't want to do this to you if you didn't... feel the way you do?"
Quinn leans up from her position sitting cross-legged on the bed and gently captures her mouth, before pulling back just millimetres to speak softly onto even softer lips,
"I know. It's okay. Honestly baby, I love you. …I'm ready." Rachel whispers the words back just as softly; "I love you too" ghosting across Quinn's tingling mouth before shutting her eyes, and willing herself into character.
When her eyes open again, Quinn sees a fierce look in her eyes she's only ever dreamed of, and the thought of punishment shouldn't be so exciting but she feels herself clench as Rachel's now firm and commanding voice rings out,
"Take off your shirt and shorts."
Quinn scrambles up from the bed, her clothes quickly discarded, leaving her standing in her simple black underwear, arms at her sides, naturally accepting her submissive role.
"Now get back on the bed, hands and knees."
She moves again just as fast, as Rachel stands just adjacent to the bed, watching over her movements. Her fingers begin to lightly stroke the soft pale skin of Quinn's back right in front of her, as her right hand moves to cover Quinn's ass. With no warning, she brings the palm of her hand down flat and hard on the panty-covered skin, and Quinn cries out, the unexpected nature of the action stopping her from controlling herself like she knew she probably should.
Rachel sighs, and the bored tone of her voice makes Quinn marvel at how remarkably she has fallen into this role, "I'd appreciate it if you could try to control your voice Quinn."
The next hit on her backside, and the 8 that follow it, result only in muffled noises that die in the back of her throat as she forces her jaw together. The pain radiating from her behind is stinging like a fucking bitch and yet it feels good. It feels so goddamn perfect because it feels like relief from years of pent up guilt, and seeing Rachel, with her flushed cheeks and her bottom lip caught beneath her teeth and her hand on her fucking ass, god it just makes her so much wetter.
"Now this is gonna hurt a bit more. This time I want you to keep count okay?"
She feels a tug on her hair and nods quickly to show she understands. When the paddle comes into contact with her already bruised ass she honestly can't help the cry that forces its way up her throat and it takes her a minute to remember that there was something else she had to do.
"One." Quinn says clearly, trying to compose herself enough to stop her voice shaking.
The pain is worse now, but somehow in her mind, worse is better because finally finally is all she can think and the relief through her body causes the throbbing in her centre to overwhelm the pain. By "four" her arms are shaking and her head is hanging low, and by "seven" her voice sounds like it's about to crack. And yet all she can think is that she can feel everything so intensely and god it's amazing, because Rachel is right there, she can feel the heat from Rachel's body, and her arm bringing the paddle down on her backside feels like forgiveness.
So even as the word "nine" is struggling from her mouth, Quinn is still pushing her hips back, looking for me, seeking the punishment clearing her conscience and drenching her underwear. And when "ten" is over, and Rachel tells her lowly, but still with authority, that she can lie down now, her spanking is over, she collapses onto her front in exhaustion, drained completely.
Rachel's hand is gently stroking over her panties, soothing the reddened skin. When Quinn's sobs finally break free and drain into the mattress Rachel's other hand is instantly in her hair, comforting her and asking quietly if she is okay; Quinn doesn't know quite how to explain how good it feels.
It only takes a minute or two for her breathing to calm down, and after quietly reminding Rachel that she is perfectly fine and promising her that she would say her safe word if she needed to, the wetness between her legs is making itself very known again. She thinks maybe it's a little strange how quickly she can go from pain and crying to solely aroused, but the sharp slap on her ass as her hips start grinding down into the mattress below her hurls her from her thoughts before she can dwell on it.
"Stop humping the mattress like a slut Quinn." A whine works its way up her throat as her hips still, fingers digging into the sheet of the mattress to quell her frustration. Suddenly she feels the tips of Rachel's fingers dragging slowly over her cotton covered ass, further down between her legs, pressing lightly over the wetness and it takes everything in her to not push her hips back in search of more contact.
"My my, Quinn, you're completely soaked… I think I'll have to take these off you…" Despite herself Quinn smiles at the teasing note of Rachel's voice, and shifts her hips subtly, impatient to just have Rachel touch her already.
"On second thought…" Quinn almost groans in frustration, but some part of her mind reminds herself that this is all part of the punishment. She doesn't deserve that yet, and she knows it. Fuck she wants to come, but patience can be rewarding, she tells herself. Once she suffers the punishment she deserves. "…on your hands and knees again." Rachel says firmly.
As she pushes herself up, her muscles groan, and she doesn't know whether to hope the spanking is going to begin again or not. Pain begets atonement.
Her ass, at least, is relieved that there's no more spanking. Just Rachel's hands ghosting slowly over skin which Quinn swears has never felt so sensitive. Every brush across her back, her thighs, her bra-covered breasts alights her nerve endings and fuels the fire building inside her core, the urge to move becoming steadily more overwhelming. Eventually she feels her bra clasp being undone, and once it has fell from her shoulders and the straps manoeuvred around her hands, she feels the bed dip behind her and her whole body tenses with anticipation.
She can feel the heat from Rachel's body as she leans over her, weight resting on one arm, and yet still managing to avoid skin to skin contact, and then suddenly there's a warm, small hand cupping her left breast, and fuck she's never been so close to coming from so little contact. She's not even entirely aware of the deep groan that comes out when lithe fingers begin toying with her nipple, rolling it slowly and simply dragging across the sensitive skin, but the harsh pinch that comes as a warning is very much noticed.
Just as suddenly Rachel has withdrawn from the bed, her hands now lingering around the waistband of her panties, before finally sliding them down over Quinn's toned thighs. She moves her knees as instructed so that her underwear can be fully removed, and then Rachel orders her onto her back, by the headboard.
The burn as her raw skin rubs against the fabric causes her to hiss, enjoying the harsh sensation, her eyes closed, when with no warning her mouth is opened and something pushed inside. With the familiar smell and taste it takes just a few seconds for her to realise she's been gagged with her own panties. Her eyes snap towards Rachel and her fast breathing almost stops because when the fuck did she get naked? Her eyes roam appreciatively over tan skin, small breasts and the best legs Quinn has ever seen, and Rachel just cocks an eyebrow,
"Just in case you needed a little help staying quiet."
Rachel is now on the bed with her, hovering over her, so close and yet so far. She knows not to touch without permission but that doesn't make the urge any less strong. She settles for staring as hard as she can at the incredible view she has, mouth dry and ass still burning whenever her hips involuntarily shift, trying to relieve some tension.
"What do you want?" Her eyes dart up to meet Rachel's and the lust she sees reflecting back at her is almost turning her on more than the body she was distracted from.
"Do you want to touch me? Do you want me to touch you? Do you want to come?" Quinn's head is nodding vigorously, mouth straining to form any affirmative word she can around her panties.
"Well, it doesn't really matter what you want, because I already know what I'm going to do." Rachel dips her head, her tongue dragging a broad stripe up Quinn's neck to her jaw line, before teasingly swiping over her bottom lip.
"I'm going to fuck you so slowly that you'll be so desperate to come it'll probably be worse than the spankings"
Any blood left anywhere else in her body pools south of her waist at that statement, and her hips rut up sharply of their own accord. Rachel's mouth is now trailing soft kisses down her sternum, the nails of one hand scratching, not hard, but firm enough along Quinn's thigh to remind her of how this is playing out. Her hands are twitching at her side, aching to move, and as if sensing her discomfort, another command is issued,
"Hands above your head and grip the headboard. Don't let go." Once she is in position one glance down tells her that Rachel's teasing lips are so goddamn close to her nipple and yet she resists the urge to seek her warm mouth out. She knows that she doesn't deserve that pleasure, not yet. But in spite of that, suddenly there is a warm, wet tongue dragging slowly but firmly across her hardened nub and ohsweetjesus it feels so good she finds herself wishing she didn't feel guilty for the heady sensations. There's sweat started to gather on her forehead and she wants to wipe it away, but she just grips tighter, fingers turning white, as Rachel's right hand begins to gently stroke the sensitive skin of her other breast, her body now settling between Quinn's spread legs.
And oh when she lowers herself completely there's a delicious pressure on places she knows are leaving patches of wetness on her girlfriend's stomach; a guttural groan resounding in reply. Every muscle in her body is tensed, as that heavenly tongue works her nipple over, electric sensations spinning down to her clit.
She's pretty certain she's never been so wet, and is wondering if there'll be a stain on the bed when fuck, Rachel slaps the side of her ass. The corresponding jerk pushes her clit roughly against softly defined abs while her red abused skin drags across the mattress and she grunts quietly.
But now her hips are moving and there's finally some friction right where she needed it most, she just can't seem to stop. Short quick rolls upward, and in only a few thrusts she can feel those telltale sensations right from her fingertips of an impending rush of bliss but before she can register the loss Rachel has pulled herself back and she is left grinding against the air before sagging in frustration.
But now Rachel is lying on the bed between her legs and even just the memories this position brings back are almost too much for her brain to cope with in her current state of arousal. The fingers of one hand are tiptoeing over the skin of her inner thighs, spreading around her wetness which has seeped out of her core. Quinn's certain that if she wasn't gagged, she'd be shamelessly begging by now, but she's glad that she can't because she knows she deserves to suffer this, and Rachel shouldn't have to listen to her pathetic pleas.
Finally she feels feather light sensation on her outer lips, playing with the trimmed hair there, doing nothing but teasing, encouraging more wetness to ooze out of her slit. She can't keep her eyes of Rachel. Her fingers toying with her, her eyes admiring her own handiwork, and her body stretched out behind her; and it's doing nothing but make her even more desperate to come and yet she can't drag herself away. She doesn't even know how she should rightfully punish herself worse – to look or not to look?
"Do you like this Quinn? Do you want me to carry on touching you?" Quick nods of a head in reply.
"Well if you can't even be bothered to answer..." Rachel moves her hand away, and muffled protests quickly follow, desperate half-formed words. She seems to take pity on her, and this time, using one hand to slightly part her, drags the pad of one finger from the source of her copious essence up her inner lips and over her clit; all Quinn can do is let the long, low moan out and fight to remain still.
The lone finger repeats its action a few times, and the blonde can't believe how intense this feels but her nerve endings feel raw and fuck its incredible. After a few beats of rest, that tantalising finger is back, this time running slow - excruciatingly slow - circles on her clit, and this time she is powerless to control her bucking hips, rising up for more friction.
"Do you want to come Quinn?" She knows the almost violent actions of her hips are answer enough, but she still tries to say yes.
"Do you deserve to come?" At this, her hips slow. Her eyes cast to the side, and all of a sudden she feels very small because it's a reminder – a rightful reminder, she tells herself firmly – that the reason she's in this position is because she doesn't deserve it. She doesn't deserve the beautiful girl in front of her to be with her, to love her, to be doing this for her. She deserves her punishment. So she forces her body to relax, to stop seeking pleasure it doesn't deserve, and meekly shakes her head, saying that no she doesn't deserve it. She can't force herself to meet Rachel's eyes, but she can feel her hand moving in small soothing circles on her stomach, and it's enough to make tears prick the corners of her eyes.
Rachel looks torn but decides against voicing her thoughts for the moment. Instead she expresses her love through the devotion with which she worships and maps Quinn's body; a tender kiss to the top of her breast, one to her hip, a stroke of her knee and a tongue swirl in her belly button and she sees the corners of Quinn's mouth quirk up just a little, and she knows it's okay. Turning her attention back to where she needs her the most, she this time lowers her mouth to Quinn's slit, the tip of her tongue just grazing the skin. But then a hard, firm lick right up the length of her has all the tension which had left her muscles returning in full force and Rachel smiles to herself a little.
This time she works Quinn over at a steady pace, running stripe after stripe of her tongue, flicking her clit each time. She's steadily increasing her speed, and she can hear Quinn's breath coming out faster intermittent moans increasing in intensity with each exhale, and just as her back arches Rachel slows to a glacial pace.
She can feel her forcing herself to relax and not try to seek out the release she's craving but doesn't think she deserves, and it's kind of killing her, but she thinks this is what Quinn needs.
So she waits until she has calmed down and once again resumes her actions, this time lips lightly sucking Quinn's clit and fingers playing around her entrance. Wetness is liberally coating her fingers with no effort and she forces herself to remove her mouth from the delicious taste to insert the tip of one finger, slowly and teasingly.
Quinn's pelvis is immediately pushing forwards, trying to grasp onto Rachel's finger, and she can feel the contractions of her pussy, desperate to hold on. She uses one arm to this time keep her hips in place, draping over her stomach, and pushes her index finger back inside. The wet warmth tightening around her has Rachel moaning before she can realise it, but Quinn is moaning too and it feels so good that she's suddenly aware how aroused she really is, and she's honestly not sure how much longer she can carry this on for without having a spontaneous orgasm.
She begins to pump her finger in and out, still keeping a steady pace, the pad of her thumb just brushing over her clit with the lightest touch with each thrust. Quinn has her eyes screwed tightly shut by now, but she's at least not fighting her body's natural reaction, hips rolling off the bed despite Rachel's steadying arm, trying to increase the tortuous speed. But as soon as her walls are beginning to clench again, the fingers are pulling back, keeping her pleasure at bay.
It's just a few seconds before her fingers are back, this time two, and as soon as they enter Quinn her pussy clamps down so hard, Rachel honestly can't tell if Quinn is coming or not, but one look at the pained expression on her face tells her she's still fighting with the edge she's keeping her balanced on.
Her muffled moans and incomprehensible noises are every few seconds now, no matter what Rachel is doing. She's never felt so tense. Rachel was right – this is worse than the spanking. The too much pleasure and yet not enough all at the same time. She needs to come. She's exhausted and her arms are aching, her mouth is dry and she's being slowly pulled apart by Rachel's mouth and fingers. All she wants is to fall off that edge.
The movement has stopped and when she opens her eyes Rachel is looking at her with eyes brimming with too many emotions. This time when she speaks, her voice is softer, and it sounds like her Rachel again,
"Do you want to come Quinn?" A tentative nod of a head dislodges blonde hair, stuck to her forehead with sweat. Her voice is even softer this time,
"Do you deserve to come?" This time there's a noise of indecision from the back of Quinn's throat, and she looks away again, honestly not knowing the answer to Rachel's question. Fingers graze her cheek, before the panties in her mouth are removed and before she can even breathe, lips are pressed softly against hers.
"You're fine baby, you're okay. You don't have to keep punishing yourself. You deserve anything and everything you want, and I want to give it to you." Her fingers are now being unwrapped from the wood they were gripping, and they're stiff and sore, but all she can focus on is Rachel's eyes. There's so much love looking back at her, she's doesn't know how not to believe that maybe she has paid her punishment now… that it's okay.
"Honey, I need you to believe that you don't deserve to be punished anymore, okay?" At the tears lacing Rachel's voice and eyes, she feels a desperate need to do anything to calm her, but she finds herself not even needing to lie when she clears her throat and says simply
"I believe you."
And then she's kissing her again, and she can feel her smiling and when Rachel's mouth makes its way back down her body, kisses being pressed tenderly to her skin, alternating with "I love you" and "you deserve it" she feels worthy.
And as she watches arms wrap around her thighs and that mouth she loves so much attach back on her again she only hesitates for a second before moving her hand to weave fingers through dark hair. A breathless laugh escapes her lips as a tongue flicks firmly over her clit. The welcome intrusion of small fingers, this time curling, and tugging in a way that swells through every inch of her body is accompanied by moans from two pairs of lips.
It's all quick and firm and oh so much better than the barely there touches, and Quinn can feel her orgasm thundering towards her far too quickly. But there's no room left in her head to feel anything but yes and fuck don't stop and suddenly there are waves of pleasure drowning her in the best possible way, toes curling and head tipped back, one name on her lips.
Rachel guides her through it, gradually slowing until she feels Quinn relax and hurries to wrap herself around the girl she loves. She's shaking, they both are, but Rachel is right there to hold together. One arm wrapped tenderly around her waist, she lays kisses on Quinn's shoulder, and when she hears a whispered "Thank you" she just pulls her closer and entwines their legs.
Relief, gratitude, penance and forgiveness are all weighing heavily on Quinn's mind, but at the feel of fingers brushing gently through her hair, all she can really feel is love.