So this is just a one shot that I decided to make due to recent spoilers and Finn's comment about the army recruiter in the promo. This mostly takes place into the future, right around the time Rachel would be in her senior year of college. Finn is currently deployed.
Warning this story does deal with a character death.
September 13, 2016
Rachel knew something was wrong, she didn't know what it was but she knew one thing and that was that it had to deal with him. Being the paranoid person that she was, she pulled out her phone and scrolled through all of the texts in her phone. She didn't see anything from Kurt, Blaine, or Finn so she put it away.
Her phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts and she smiled seeing the caller ID light up with her boyfriend's name.
"Hey," she cooed excitedly.
"Hey baby, how are you?" Finn asked. Rachel could feel a smile forming on her face just hearing her boyfriend's voice.
"I'm doing alright, I keep feeling like something is wrong," she explained and he could sense the sadness in her voice.
Finn sighed on the other end of the phone and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Rach, I know you're worried about me, but I promise I'm doing okay." How he wanted to hold her and kiss her, then he could really make her worry go away.
Rachel sniffled a little, cursing herself for getting so upset. "O-okay. I just miss you," she trailed off unable to stop a small flow of tears coming down her cheeks.
He knew she missed him because god did he miss her, but he would be home soon. An idea popped into his head. "Baby don't be sad I miss you too but hey remember all you have to do is look up at the stars and remember that no matter where I am, I'm always looking down on you." He assured her smiling into the phone.
Although she couldn't see him she could tell that his smile was just as big as the one on her face. "Tonight its supposed to be really clear outside so I will be able to see it perfectly."
He laughed then nodded his head, "Perfect then tonight you and I have a date under the stars." Suddenly a big explosion went off nearly ten feet in front of him. "Shit! Rach I really have to go, I love you baby and I be home so-" The phone line was cut and Rachel immediately began to panic.
"Finn? Finn? FINN ANSWER ME!" Her hands are shaking when she removes her phone from her ear and looks at the blank screen. "Oh my God." She closes her phone and places it back into her purse.
Looking up at the sky she looks towards the direction of Finn Hudson. "Please be okay." She says quietly and heads back to her dorm room to take a nap.
Flashback: Lima, Ohio December 13, 2011
After singing at the homeless shelter Rachel realizes just how selfish and spoiled she was acting with Finn. She couldn't help but act like that though because this was their first Christmas together and she wanted it to be special.
What she didn't realize was that she was acting like her own form of Kim Kardashian and that was the last thing she wanted to be.
She wanted to apologize for being such a brat. Its not until she tells him about naming her pig Barbra that she realizes he got her another present.
He hands her a piece of paper and for a split second she thinks its an acceptance letter to a school in New York, but that is high hopes. Anxiously she opens it and her mouth drops in awe.
"Its your own star," he replied looking rather proud of the gift that he bought her.
Rachel is dumbstruck, completely out of words to say because this is the best present anyone has ever given her. She looks up at him and then back down at the certificate in her hands. "You named a star after me?" she asked quietly.
"No, I thought about that but then I named it Finn Hudson. Because there is already a star named Rachel Berry and she's right here on earth and she's brighter then any of those stars up there."
Rachel is pretty sure that the smile on her face can't get any bigger and she feels tears starting to form in her eyes. She can't help but think back to last year at this time when both of them were still pretty sore from their break up and now they were together and in love. This was the best Christmas ever.
"So I wanted to make sure that whenever she feels lonely she can look up in the sky, and no matter where I am. She can know that I'm looking down on her."
This feeling in her chest, this overwhelming feeling of love and adoration for the boy standing in front of her is huge right now. She feels that in any moment it could burst out of her chest.
Rachel turned around and placed the certificate over her pictures of her and the glee club. "I love it," she smiled up at him and in that moment she knows that there is no other guys for her then Finn Hudson.
In that moment she realizes that all of the talks they have had about being tethered and being soul mates, all of it is true. Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry were going to be together forever.
End flashback.
Its been six hours since Rachel received the phone call from Finn. During that time she went back to the apartment that her and Kurt share and just had the longest cry ever. If something was wrong with him, she wasn't sure what she would do.
Finn can't die, he just can't! They were supposed to go sight seeing together, and get married, have children and most importantly grow old together. Rachel felt her chest tighten and a whole new wave of tears invade her face. This was not how their lives were supposed to be! Things were supposed to be different for them. She laid down on her bed and cried herself to sleep.
Three Days Later
Its been three days since she last heard from Finn. Three days since that explosion went off in the background and shook Rachel up for life. She has received may panicked phone calls from Carole, Kurt, and all of their friends. She told them the same thing that she has been telling everyone else, she doesn't know anything.
At two o'clock her cell phone rings and she sighs out of relief when she sees that Noah is the one calling her. Noah is in Finn's infantry so she assumes that he's okay. Rachel tentatively picked up her phone, a cheery greeting soon following.
Finn is dead. Finn, her soul mate, best friend, partner, boyfriend, her everything, is dead. Rachel couldn't believe this was happening to her. At first she thought it was a joke because Noah did like to call her and joke around, but the sadness and sniffling on the other end said otherwise.
She couldn't breathe, everything was slowly starting to cave in, and she felt restricted. What was she going to do without him? Finn was her everything, and in a split second he was gone. She didn't even get to tell him that she loved him one last time. What was she supposed to do? Carry on with her life and live out her dreams? She couldn't do that, all of her dreams involved Finn and without him, she was nothing.
Rachel walked outside onto her patio and looked up at the sky, she found the star immediately and started to sing her heart out, tears streaming down her face.
I can't win, I can't reignI will never win this gameWithout you, without youI am lost, I am vain,I will never be the sameWithout you, without you She's brought back to the time in high school when she sat on the bench in front of him and sang this to him. It was the day he talked to the army recruiter. The day their lives would change forever.
I won't run, I won't flyI will never make it byWithout you, without youI can't rest, I can't fightAll I need is you and IWithout you
Rachel finds herself getting angry, more so with herself for not stopping him. She told him she would support whatever decision that he made, but she never expected him to actually sign up. She wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She needs to finish this song, Finn needs to hear her singing.
Without youOh, oh, oh!You! You! You!WithoutYou! You! You!Without youCan't erase, so I'll take blameBut I can't accept that we're estranged Without you, without you,
Without you, without you
The glimmer of her promise ring catches her eyes when she looks down for a moment to gather herself up. Finn gave it to her right before he was deployed. "I promise I'll come back for you Rach. I promise to love you forever, and I promise that one day you and I are going to get married." Her voice becomes low and broken, she can't finish this song its just too hard. It takes her a couple more minutes to compose herself so she can finish. Rachel Berry finishes everything.
I won't soar, I won't climbIf you're not here, I'm paralyzedWithout you, without youI can't look, I'm so blindI lost my heart, I lost my mindWithout you Without youOh, oh, oh!You! You! You!WithoutYou! You! You!Without you "Just look up at the star Rachel, that's how you know that I'm here for you. Even if we aren't face to face I'm always here." With that he kissed her never wanting to part from her, then pulled away pulling one of his half smiles and left.
I am lost, I am vain,I will never be the sameWithout you, without youWithout you
Rachel finishes the song still looking up at the star, her star. She knew that this was going to be the hardest thing that she would ever have to do, but with Finn up there looking down on her; she knew that she could do it. She's laying down on her bed clinging to the picture of the two of them from graduation. Her pillow was stained with her tears, and her eyes were sore from crying so much. The song Faithfully is playing lowly in the background. Its probably wrong of her to grieve like this but she doesn't care. She is wrapped up in one of his old football shirts that still smells like him, and she is wearing her Finn necklace.
I will never be the same, without you. She sings quietly before her eyes close and she drifts off to sleep.
So this story made me really emotional, and I know its not the best, but I just had to get it out of my system. It has been in my head since the promo aired yesterday. Don't worry! I will be back to writing fluff and everything soon, I just needed to get this out! Thank you for reading and reviewing. (:
The song is David Guetta's Without You