Swaying in the Background

I miss him.

Sometimes I forget that we're not really friends anymore.

Something really good happens and I turn around to tell him about it only to realize- he's not there.

Or I need a quick fashion tip. And he's not there.

I want to have someone to walk through the hallways with. I want someone to talk to in those moments before class. I want to have someone to hang out with after school. I want someone I can call up and just cry to. I want a friend.

But mostly, I want Kurt.

I miss his constant, whispered commentary in my ear as we strutted through the hallways linked. He always kept me proud of who I was. He kept me laughing as others tried to bring us down.

Cue the music for "Defying Gravity," right? That's what Rachel would do. That's one good thing in my life. At least I ain't no Rachel Berry. She's too much, even for me, and I'm usually too much for people. Not everyone can handle this much goodness. Me and Rachel should buy matching "Proud to Be a Diva" t-shirts. But she'd probably want to match Kurt instead.

What the hell is up with that diva duo? I mean, Kurt and Rachel? They used to be bitter enemies and now they're hanging out like they're BFF's or something. Trying to get into that damn school together.

I want to call her out on it. Remind her that he's competition and ask her what she thinks she's doing. Is she messing with him? Playing him along so that she can use him and then lose him? Keeping her enemies close?

Rachel always has something up her sleeve but she better not touch one hair on that boy's gelled head. He's, he's…

He's mine.

Kurt is mine.

Except he isn't. Not anymore. And that hurts so damn much.

His crusade against obesity? It's a knife in the gut. It's a personal attack against me, his ex-best friend, and I sure as hell don't appreciate it. What I want to eat is my business and he should just stay out of my way.

His nagging on me? Uh uh, (insert the finger wave) not cool. And definitely not helpful.

Food is constant, unlike some other people I know. It's always there. It never decides to shack up with a boyfriend and drop you like a hot potato. When I'm eating, I'm in control. Everywhere else, I'm always just swaying in the background. Food makes me feel good.

Until I feel sick at least.

But in that moment, as I bite into some crunchy, salty, goodness and I feel the oil greasing my tongue, everything is okay.

Food doesn't wake up one morning and say, "hey, it was nice being your best and only friend for years" then ditch for a pretty boy boyfriend. Food doesn't shove you out of its life, forget about you, never hang out anymore, all because of said pretty boy, and then be confused when you're upset. Food doesn't try to set you up with someone just because you both happen to resemble chocolate and not understand what's wrong with that. And food sure as hell wouldn't blame you for being frustrated if it did any of those things.

Food understands that boyfriends don't replace best friends.

Food knows I hate swaying in the background.

Author's Note: I know it's really short. It was supposed to be much longer and lead to Mercedes decision to choose to go to the Troubletones but I saw it was better like this. It's not as good as "I Studied the Dictionary" (which is my favorite story) but I like it. I was really frustrated with Kurt when he kept abandoning Mercedes for Blaine. Don't get me wrong, I love Blaine, but having a boyfriend is not an excuse to no longer speak to your best friend who has stood by you for years. Mercedes had a right to be hurt. Then I was really mad when the resolution of the episode was MERCEDES apologizing! Kurt was in the wrong there! So I decided to stand up for her a little ;)
I took time during finals to write this and not another chapter for "Hermione's Condition." I only got 1 review for the last chapter which is pretty disheartening. Gleeverse readers are usually more generous. Reviews give me inspiration! ;) Thanks for reading!
I put this in the Kurt category also because it's really centered around Mercedes thoughts about him but he doesn't actually appear. Should I make it just a Mercedes fic?