Preparing
Narcissa walked into the piano room with slow, steady steps. Her body had changed so much in these past few months that she wasn't quite sure about how it worked anymore. Merlin new that being able to see her own feet was a skill she was quickly losing. She held a book in her hand, while she kept the other on her protruding belly, caressing her unborn child through her skin, in gentle circles, which had the added bonus of focusing the kicking next to her bellybutton while keeping it away from her ribs.
She had chosen this room to read by the fire for a little while, for there were comfortable armchairs here, with padded stools for her to lay her feet upon, as well as a welcoming and rather large fireplace. Though it was April already, the chill of the night felt brisk still, and she could think of few things more comfortable than a small but vivid fire against the darkness of the night. It was still a bit too early for bed, and she wanted to stay up and wait for Lucius, but her body was becoming sore so she desperately craved some rest.
She pulled her light blue robes closer to her body, relishing its soft touch, and pushed her blonde hair off her shoulders. She had done away with her hairdo halfway through the day, bothered by the pins and the pulling on her scalp. Lucius had suggested that she left it down for good, and Narcissa had gladly indulged, earning herself an understanding smile from both her husband and her father-in-law.
Narcissa expected Lucius to still be reunited with Abraxas in the latter's study, where they discussed the ongoing war, now quickly spiraling out of control. The skirmishes had become open battles between Lord Voldemort's followers and Dumbledore's people, with the Ministry for Magic somehow lost in between the two, buried in contradicting orders about how to proceed. The war had turned into chaos this last year, and her concerns had only grown with it. Her family was deeply involved in the Dark Lord's movement and in the war itself, which meant Narcissa had lost count to how many nights she had gone sleepless for, worrying about her husband, and her father-in-law, and her sister, and everyone else, even the ones she wasn't supposed to worry about. She couldn't wait for the war to be over, for there might be a chance to reconcile with Andromeda and Sirius, to mourn Regulus properly. The feeling of unease followed her everywhere, and at any time she could find a little something in her throat, keeping her from swallowing her worry.
It was concern for this child of hers, the only one that she had carried this far, and an eagerness to know whether or not this one would live, and hoping that she would have the chance to raise him or her in a better world, one that was at peace, with all of her family there for the both of them. It was concern for her husband and the dark circles under his eyes, the shadow of remorse for his deeds, the way he woke up panting in his dreams more often than not.
So she had chosen the piano room to read and wait up for him, because he settled her unrest as much as she settled his, and that was how they had made it through the years without relinquishing their sanity. And keeping sane was a large part of preparing for this child of theirs, the highly wanted, and deeply wished for, Malfoy heir, as well as gathering as much information as she could get her hands on. She needed to know what to expect, for then she could plan ahead and that small measure of control calmed her.
But it seemed that Lucius was already here, waiting for her, dressed in a grey suit that fitted him perfectly; accentuating is tall and broad-shouldered frame. He was facing the fire, only his back was visible to her, and he moved slightly from side to side, apparently locked into a lonely two-step dance.
"I thought you were still with your father," she said, not to startle him as she walked towards where he stood.
He turned on the spot, clearly caught by surprise, and Narcissa could see a bundle on his arms. He smiled awkwardly at her, and then walked towards her, opening the bundle to reveal nothing but a small blanket that had been upstairs, in the almost ready nursery.
"You seem cold," he said, placing the blanked over her narrow shoulders and kissing her forehead, before cradling her jaw in his palm to kiss her lips, softly, "come sit by the fire." He wrapped an arm around her waist, letting his hand spread over the side of her middle, smiling at the movements of the child inside.
"What were you doing, Lucius?" She asked, as he pointed his wand at an armchair and enlarged it, making it big enough to sit the two of them comfortably but closely. He avoided her eyes, blushing a little in a way that painted a broad smile on her face, while helping her down to the armchair, holding his arms open to receive her body against hers.
"Lucius…" she prompted him once she was settled in his embrace, one of her hands on her belly and the other caressing his jaw, "will you tell me what you were doing?"
She knew, and he knew that she knew, but words were important. Talking about things made them real, and they had been scared to talk of this pregnancy up until the fifth month, refusing to mention it for fear that they would somehow jinx it.
"I was getting ready for our baby, Cissa," he replied, smiling and kissing her cheek, with both his hands planted on her bulge, "I was making sure that I wouldn't drop him, or her. I want to hold this child the moment it's born, so I was practicing."
She laughed, giddy with happiness, a crystal clear laugh that seemed to light up the room. The house-elf popped in the room, asking if his masters wanted for anything, and Lucius sent him to get tea and biscuits for Narcissa, who demanded chocolate chip biscuits, making Lucius chuckle under his breath. She had developed a sweet tooth in the past few weeks.
"I know, I understand. I'm getting ready myself," she replied when the house-elf left them, kissing his cheek in turn and showing him the book she had selected, "I want to do everything right. This book is supposed to be very good."
He took the book from her hands, opening it and turning it slightly towards the light coming from the fireplace. Narcissa snuggled against him, getting comfortable while he read out loud to her in that deep voice of his. She could hear it, but she could also feel his voice resonate in his chest and through hers, and their child obviously enjoyed it too, settling inside her, as if paying attention to the ways his parents were supposed to use to soothe him.
The house-elf cracked back in, pushing a cart with tea and biscuits towards them. Lucius reached for a cup of tea and handed it to her, carrying on with his reading, but this time only commenting on what the book said.
"Apparently, small babies find comfort in the smell of people close to them. So we'll make sure to spray just a hint of your perfume on the crib, how about that, hmm?" he nuzzled his nose against her neck at that, taking a deep breath of the orange blossom scent that she preferred.
"Maybe we should alternate, use mine and yours. Maybe even your father's? I'm sure he'll love carrying his grandchild around the manor; we should make sure our baby doesn't fret much in his arms. What does Abraxas smell like?"
Lucius laughed at her suggestion, but he replied, with a smirk to his lips.
"He smells like sandalwood, and dismissiveness."
"Oh stop it, Lucius! Where is your father, by the way?
"Upstairs, writing letters. Moving on to… music. Babies like relaxing music and getting them used to a certain song, even while still inside their mothers, will help parents calm them down once they are born."
Narcissa took her cue and pointed her wand at the piano by the tall windows, charming it to play a very soft and mellow tune, a lullaby she remembered and was particularly fond of.
"Cissa, you'll put us both to sleep with that," Lucius mused, flipping the page. He settled further into the armchair as Narcissa aimed her wand at the piano once more, changing the lullaby into a classical piece with a little more rhythm to it.
"Now that is music. Let's see… lullabies, rocking them in your arms, we know that… oh, they like watching things move. The book suggests mobiles or charms that keep small things hovering over the cribs in repetitive motion. Babies are creatures of habit, apparently."
Narcissa sipped from her cup of tea again, taking a whiff of the steam rising in rivulets and then blowing it away. A glimmer of light caught her eye and she reached for it with her other hand.
"It's snowing!"
She looked at Lucius, trying to figure out why it was that it was snowing inside the room in April, and found him smiling down at her, holding his wand and pointing it straight up. Little snowflakes emerged from the tip, falling down on them both. She marveled in them, for they did not melt in her hands, and they did not feel cold to the touch. He had made them so, so that they could cast this very same spell over the crib and their child could catch the flakes from the air, she realized.
"If our child turns out to be half as crazy about snow as you are, I'll turn this house into an igloo just to watch the two of you smile."
Narcissa's eyes seared like mad, and she reached out for Lucius jaw, bringing it close to hers, to cover his lips with hers, smiling her happiness into the kiss, tasting a little salt from her tears in it, too.
"You are my angel, Narcissa, and I didn't know happiness until the day we met. And I shall never know it again should you not be by my side."
He whispered the words into the air between their lips, claiming hers once more after his confession. Lucius hardly ever talked of his feelings, and it never failed to move Narcissa to tears. He dropped the book on the tea cart to take her face in his hands, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.
"I'd do anything for you, Cissa, anything to make you happy. I'll have this war be over before our child comes, my love, I'll find a way. I'll turn the entire Ministry against Dumbledore and his silly band of do-gooders, and I'll put this damned war to rest before our child is born."
Narcissa combed his hair back, away from his face, with her free hand, setting the cup of tea atop her belly, and holding it steady when it chimed with a kick of the baby, making them both smile.
"I trust you, Lucius. I trust you to do good for us, to keep us safe. Don't ever break that, please."
"Never," he pledged, kissing her hand, "I'll do many things, Cissa, but I'll always do what's best for us, for our family."
They settled into their previous embrace, watching the fire burn, silently enjoying the company of each other. After a while, Lucius picked up the book from the cart again, but said nothing. He placed it on his lap and reached for a biscuit, bringing it to Narcissa's lips. She took a bite, enjoying the crack of it and feeling the chocolate chips melt in her mouth, humming with pleasure.
"And this is me, practicing for meal time," he jested, taking a bite off the biscuit himself and offering it to her again. She took it with her teeth, making sure to nib his fingers, just enough to get even.
"What else does the book say about feeding, then?"
"Well, I'll be excused of the task for months, because our child is supposed to be breastfed exclusively for a little while. Four months they say. Well, I'll certainly enjoy the sight, that's for sure," he teased, moving his hand from her belly to caress a smaller curve, humming, "but then we're supposed to start introducing other things, through soup. Maybe I should find something to spoon feed to you, no?"
"I swear you'll regret it," she threatened, catching his roaming hand in hers and moving it away from her tender breast, "sorry, but that's a little sore."
He nodded, but she caught a glint in his eyes that said he intended to change her mind about his caresses, later, and she didn't mind that one bit. He pointed his wand to a cabinet on the far end of the room, making a bottle and a tumbler fly out of it and land on the cart, where the tumbler was filled with liquid amber by a levitating crystal bottle.
"Nice drop of Scotch, puts hair on your chest," he mused, raising the glass to his lips. She gave him a questioning look and he smiled, rolling his tongue inside his mouth, tasting the strong flavor of fire-whisky.
"Are you going to feed our child some of that?"
"No, I'm not. But I can drink it, unlike you, and I feel like celebrating, because I'm happy here, with you and our baby, and the music is good."
She smiled in earnest, finishing her tea and asking for another biscuit. She frowned when her husband moved again, reaching for something in his pocket and dislodging her from her warm nest for a second. But she smiled at the sight of sophisticated wrapping paper tightly swathing a small case.
"I went to Knockturn Alley earlier today, for reasons completely unrelated, but I ended up in Borgin and Burkes and they happened to have this. I had it modified to better suit us." Lucius took the tea cup from her and extended the present in return.
Narcissa took the small gift and ripped the paper open with care, freeing a dark case. It had a simple lock that she slid to the side, and an interior made of black velvet, which served as striking contrast to the silver object inside.
A rattle, a small silver rattle with the Malfoy crest engraved on one end and the Manor itself on the other. She took a moment to trace the outline of the front of the manor with her fingers, feeling every line, every wall, and every window, and every angle of the roof.
It wasn't just their home; it was also the very first place they remembered being together in. It was where they had first danced together, and where they had first kissed, where Lucius had proposed to her, where they had been married. It was where Narcissa had known love, and a man's embrace, and pleasure. It was where they would live with this precious child of theirs. It was their safe haven amidst the turmoil.
Narcissa's eyes welled again as she turned the rattle in her hands, appreciating the intricate details that embellished the handle, already imagining a tiny hand wrapped around it, making it chime in these rooms she had grown to love.
Lucius was still smiling when she looked at him once more, thanking him. He wiped more tears off her cheeks, chuckling.
"I didn't mean to make you cry, let alone do it twice in one evening."
"Consider it practice. Babies cry all the time I'm told," she smiled, she couldn't stop smiling; she was too happy to stop smiling, despite the fury of the world beyond the walls of the manor.
He took the rattle and the case from her hands, and he threw the wrapping paper to the flames. Then, he wrapped one arm around her back, steadying her body against his as he placed the other arm under her knees and used it to lift her legs up to his lap. She cuddled against his shoulder, and they just stayed there, silently watching the fire and daydreaming about doing the same, in only a couple of months, with a bundle in between them, and a small blond child swathed in it.
Now that she was warm and comfortable by the fire with Lucius, Narcissa could feel how tired she was, how her feet bothered her, how a dull pain seemed to have spread out through her body. The day was taking its toll on her, but she felt too good to move. She felt slumber taking over her, slowly but steadily. She could feel Lucius hand on her back, soothing her ache there, the other lay on her legs, where his fingers drew random patterns of care. The baby moved inside her, for a brief moment, as if adjusting to her new position, then went still again. Her eyes closed and she didn't fight it.
She woke up along the way to their bedroom, with Lucius arms holding her tight to his chest, her head on his shoulder, the steady rhythm of his shoes on the staircase resembling that of her heart. She let her eyes shut again, and in that moment she was utterly content.
Author's Notes: Prompts and Challenges
Assignment 10 Law and Government Task #5: Write about having to practice/train/rehearse for something
December Writing Club - Character Appreciation 12. [Object] Cup of Tea; Disney Challenge Songs 7. Stories - Write about reading to someone; Cookie's Cooking Corner 6. Twix Alt, include biscuits in your fic; Book Club Abanazer Bolger: (food) chocolate chip cookie, (word) trust, (dialogue) "Nice drop of Scotch, puts hair on your chest."; Showtime 40. Finale: (action) carrying someone up the stairs; Amber's Attic Songs about someone's love for or connection to a certain place;Count your Buttons Objects 3. Wrapping Paper, Words 2. Angel, Dialogues 5."It's snowing!"; Em's Emporium 2. (word) chaos; Angel's Arcade 3. Pierce: (trait) ambitious, (dialogue) "Now that is music.", (action) laughing; Lo's Lowdown Dialogue 5. "He smells like sandalwood, and dismissiveness."; Bex's Basement 22. Jen - Write about Narcissa Black/Malfoy.
Advent Calendar Day 4: Canon Pairings Lucius/Narcissa
Winter Funfair – Eastern: Yule Log BurningF3 – emotion anxious; Northern: Building a Snowman Mittens (plot point) confessing true feelings; Southern: The Nice List 17. Calliope - Write about cuddling by the fire (3 tickets)
Winter Bucket List: 12. (word) melt
365 Prompts Challenge 4. Action - Falling asleep on the sofa
Word count – 2 939