Hello lovers of Morganville, Vampires and hopefully MyrninXClaire! If you don't like the pairing well read this anyway and consider yourself converted. This is my first fanfic by the way so please keep an open mind! Sadly, I do not own anything. If I did book 11 never would have been published. It was a waste of perfectly good trees. So this is set soon after Bite Club because I choose to pretend that Last Breath does not exist! I thought the whole draugr thing was waaay too confusing and Shane's proposal unnecessary and tacky! Ahh but now I'm rambling! Read on little monsters! R&R
Sunlight warmed my face, streaming in from the window opposite my bed. I sighed and buried myself deeper into the warm mass of blankets, safe and secure. In that brief moment as I woke up I was utterly peaceful, I had forgotten where I was, forgotten who I was and the only thing that mattered was that I was safe. But I wasn't. I couldn't be, no truly ever safe, not here. I frowned, unhappy that my own thoughts had ruined my parting contentedness. I let out another sigh and rolled over, searching with my hand for the beautiful boy who was my lover. My heart pounding, I realized I couldn't find him and shot up in bed looking to see where he was. No one was there. Silly me I thought to myself, of course he's not here, not after the things I said to him last night. I shut my eyes and dropped back onto the bed willing the images to stop racing across my eyes.
I heard the front door open and lifted my head off the couch in time to see Shane walk through the door, carrying a take-out bag and smelling of barbeque. I smiled at him and waved.
"Dinner?" I called out questioningly.
"Not for you sleepy head," he said teasingly, pulling the box away from my outstretched fingers.I rocked back on my heels, crossing my arms and glaring at him, my lips pulled back into a pout.
"Don't be angry with me, a man's gotta eat!" he said, a smirk starting to spread across his face. I changed my expression into my best puppy-dog face, staring up at him expectantly, willing him to hand over the box.
"Not fair Claire, you know I just can't resist that face!" he said, his expression deepening. I blinked once and tilted my head to the side and said in my most innocent voice, "What face?" He leaned forward to kiss me, dropping the box onto the table, the food forgotten. He kissed me lightly at first, but I quickly deepened turning into something more. I pulled him back towards the living room and pushed him onto the couch, settling myself in his lap without ever breaking the kiss. Eventually we pulled apart for air keeping our noses toughing, staring into each other's eyes. This must be love I thought, this must be it because I have never been happier in my entire life.
"I love you," I whispered to him.
"I love you too," he whispered back, reaching up with his hands to pull my face back to his.
"Whoa there guys, let's keep it PG, after all we do have a minor in the house," said Eve jokingly. I jumped up off the couch, my face reddening in embarrassment. Shane stayed sitting, eyes sparkling and lips pulled back into an adorable smile.
"Your just jealous cuz Mikey's not home," he responded. Eve rolled her eyes, flipped him the finger and walked into the kitchen.
"You know what, I think that it's you who is missing Michael. Don't worry I won't tell anyone about your bro-mance!" she called out laughing.
"Yeah like I'd ever like some bloodsucker like that," he muttered.
"Hey," I said glaring at him, "Michael's your friend. I thought you were past this."
"Don't worry," he said pulling me back into his lap, "It's nothing against Michael, just the thought of liking a vamp in general." I sighed not convinced.
"Honestly, I'm over it," he said leaning in to finish where we left off. Just as his lips once again met mine my phone went off with an annoying shrill.
"Ignore it," he grumbled and kept on kissing me. I let him for a moment longer and then twisted myself out of his grasp and grabbed my phone off the table. I flipped it open and checked the caller-ID….Myrnin.
"Let me guess, it's your stupid vampire boss, isn't it?" Shane said, the anger evident in his voice. I shot him a look and answered.
"Hello?"
"Claire, you can't have tomorrow off. I would say I'm sorry but I'm not. Be here at 6 o'clock sharp no exceptions and if you're late I'll eat you," Myrnin's voice answered sharply from the other side.
"But….." I started to say but stopped when I heard him click off on the other end.
"Ahhh, stupid Myrnin, I hate you," I said dropping back onto the couch and began massaging my temples with my fingers.
"What now?" asked Shane.
"Myrnin's making me go into work tomorrow," I said.
"But tomorrow is my day off and I thought we were going to go see a movie together."
"I'm sorry Shane but I can't, we'll just have to go next week," I said to him, averting my eyes.
"No," he said, standing up, "We are going to the movies. You'll just have to call him back and tell him that you can't work. Or better yet just don't go to the lab tomorrow."
"Shane, come on now, you know I can't do that! He'd kill me, or Amelie would. I can't just blow off my job!"
"Yes you can!" he stated back.
"No Shane I can't and you shouldn't expect me to!" I yelled at him.
"You know what, I'm starting to think that maybe there is another reason why you keep doing everything that crazy bloodsucker commands."
I froze, anger turning everything into sharp focus, "Just what are you implying, Shane."
"I'm not implying anything, I'm flat out stating that I think you're cheating on me with him," Shane said, eyes flashing with hurt and rage.
"I cannot believe you just said that to me! Out of all the ridiculous things-!"
"It's not ridiculous! I've seen the way he looks at you! Don't tell me you don't see it too! At first I wasn't worried because you always acted like he wasn't important but lately you started looking back at him," he stopped, turning away from me. I knew I should feel bad but I was just too angry and I couldn't seem to be able to lock the anger away.
"So you're saying that if I look at my boss then I must be cheating on you with him. Really Shane, do you know how stupid that sounds, do you even hear yourself?" I shot back questioningly.
"It's the way you stare into his eyes…" he said but stopped, sounding hurt and confused. I immediately felt bad for implying that he was stupid. He's just hurt I thought, he's only acting like this because he loves me.
"I can't believe you could ever look some disgusting…thing like that in the eyes," he muttered. That's when I snapped. I had never felt so enraged in my entire life. How could he have so much hate and prejudice in his heart, especially with how wrong he had been proven in recent events? In that one second I hated him, just for a fraction of a second I hated what he was and how he acted. It was really the smallest possible fraction but that's all it took, I wanted to hit him where it hurt and I knew just how to do it.
"Well he does have pretty eyes. Maybe I just wanted to look at something beautiful after having to look at you all day," I stated, my voice flat and eyes burning.
His expression was pure pain, pure innocent, unneeded, unnecessary pain.
My stomach twisted and I wanted to take it back, take it all back and wrap myself back into his arms and tell him just how much I loved and needed him. But I knew I never could and it felt terrible, like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the stomach over and over again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I really didn't" I whispered, searching his eyes for any sign that he might forgive me. There was none, his faced had twisted into the most unnerving mask of hate that was directed entirely at me, the anger turning his normally soft features cold and sharp. I knew it wasn't the content of the insult that hurt him the most but the fact that I had said that Myrnin, a vampire, a vampire who had tried to kill me on numerous occasions was better than him.
"Get out of my sight," he stated, but his voice was wrong, it wasn't him, it was anger.
"Shane…" I said helplessly, begging him with my eyes to forgive me.
"No," he said bluntly, "Get out of my sight."
No longer able to hold back the tears, I burst out crying and pushed past a very shocked Eve and ran up the stairs and into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. I sank to the floor in a heap, my head a whirl of emotions and cried until the world had no more meaning.
I awoke sometime later to Eve knocking on my door asking me if I was alright and if she could come in. I chose to ignore her and simply stripped down to my underwear and climbed into my empty bed. I tried to escape the pain and fall into the peaceful numbness of sleep but every time I closed my eyes images of Shane's pained face came into my mind, staring back at me. I sobbed harder and curled myself into the tightest ball I possibly could, trying to make myself so microscopic that I would disappear. I stayed that way, sobbing and shaking, for I don't know how long until exhaustion overtook my fear and gently pulled me into the oblivion.
Depressed, I rolled onto my other side so that I was facing the wall and tried to make my mind once again blank so that I might be able to slip back into the realm of oblivion. I sighed again because I knew that was pointless. I would never be able to forget, not for a single second. I turned and looked at the clock. It read 10:27. Late, and just a little late, 4 and half hours late. Myrnin really was going to kill me this time. Oh well, if I'm already that drastically late I really don't need to go at all. Guess I wasn't going to work after all, how ironic.
I rolled my eyes and snuggled back into my bed, just because I can't sleep doesn't mean I can't stay in bed all day. Besides, I'm far too overdue for a mental health day. I stared at the door willing Shane to walk through it and tell me he everything was going to be alright, that he forgave me and all was well. But I knew the truth, that was never going to happen. I ruined the best thing in my life and it was no one else's fault but my own.
"Great job Claire," I said to myself, "You really know how to hurt people don't you?"
I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time and let the pain and sadness sink into me fully until I could feel nothing but the dense pressure of thought.
Don't fav without reviewing thanks! And please be kind, I know I'm not the best writer! Constructive criticism is what I need!