Two Seconds
Written by Hikari-kun, always and forever
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Two seconds.
That was all it took for him to slip away. Just two, lousy seconds. Two seconds took away nineteen years of life right off the Earth in the blink of an eye.
It really makes you realise how fragile a human life is.
I should have realised right from the start. I should have known something was wrong right from when it started. I was supposed to be his lover for Christ's sake. And yet, I knew nothing. I was stubborn. I kept insisting it was nothing… that it would stop soon.
It started as just a headache. He kept getting them. Every time he threw himself on me while I was sitting on the couch, I'd just kick him off and tell him to go take some aspirin or just something… anything to shut him up. I didn't care really. I just wanted that brat to stop complaining and whining about the pains running through his head. I just wanted him to shut up.
Then he started complaining his head felt it was going to burst. He'd curl up into a ball, and lie on the couch, crying he was in pain. As usual, I ignored his pleas. I thought nothing of it. I brushed it aside, like the cold-hearted bastard I am. I left him to suffer in silence. So long as he wasn't an inconvenience to me, I didn't care.
It happened only a week after the headaches began.
That night, I knew something was wrong with him. I discovered him that evening, hunched up over the toilet in the bathroom, being violently sick. He didn't seem to be able to control it. But it was only when I heard him scream out in excruciating pain, I knew something was very wrong.
He said he couldn't move his legs. He said he couldn't feel his legs. They buckled and gave way underneath him, while he tried to keep himself upright with only his hands, which were gripping the toilet seat with a such a grip, I thought he might pull the toilet seat right off.
My heart ached as I stood in that bathroom doorway, watching him throw up every meal he'd ever eaten right in front of me. Watching his legs slowly giving way. I knew I should be moving. I should have been on that phone in milliseconds, dialling for an ambulance.
I let him die.
He stopped breathing… just like that. Click, and his life was gone. And I just stood there, frozen in the doorway, unable to come to terms with the events that had just taken place.
I let him die.
I let him die.
I couldn't stop staring at his peaceful face, still slightly covered in vomit. It stared back eerily, as if it was still watching me, alive. As if it were saying something. As if it were saying;
"You let me die,"
I couldn't control the overwhelming guilt. I couldn't control it. It was gathering up my feelings and throwing them right at my feet, showing me how truly weak I was. How much of a monster I was. How, all my life, all I've ever done is destroy. Destroy precious life after precious life. First Kitazawa… then my brat…
I let him die.
I couldn't stop tears rolling down my face. No hysterical crying… no over-the-top amount of tears. Just a few tear drops that trickled down my cheek told me everything about myself.
I let him die.
I was a monster.
In my heart, time froze eternally. The scene… the setting… my brat… they all became permanently embedded in my brain.
I let him die.
And when I finally came to my senses, Seguchi was there once again, to pick up all the broken pieces. To say it wasn't my fault that Shuichi had started taking drugs. To say none of it was my fault, and that they'd all help me through this difficult time.
But not even Seguchi's words could erase the cold, hard truth that had smacked me right in the face.
I was a monster.
And I let Shuichi die.
A/N: I don't usually write stuff like this, and I hate writing about people dying because it makes me sad even writing it, but something about this piece called me, and I simply wrote it.
Drugs aren't fun or cool. Seriously.
As for the drug Shuichi took… that's all from what we were learning in Biology about drinking too much water while taking ecstasy tablets. Your brain cells just… pop. And all the reactions Shuichi went through happened to some girl we were learning about. Except hers happened all on one night, but for the sake of the fic I spaced Shuichi's reactions out over a week period. So, all in all, he'd been taking those tablets for about a week, but the biggest reaction happened on the night he died.
So there you have it. Another set of reasons not to take drugs.
But, leave a review or whatever. I wrote this because it was meaningful and I hope it's meaningful to anyone who reads it.
Later!
-ThE-gEnIuS-hIkArI-
(- Hikari-kun - )