Walking Alone
Authors Note: I have so much left to say about this episode, but here's a start. Let me know what you guys think!
Standing there, unable to take the steps I wanted, trying not to look vulnerable in front of you.
"They've decided that your being stabbed was nobody's fault. They're wrong… I'm sorry."
"Anything else? I'm kind of busy."
There is so much I need to hear you say. So much I know you won't say. We stare down.
"No, that was it." A part of me breaks.
And just like that you're out the door.
I needed you to say so much.
I needed you to apologize for the prank, but I knew you wouldn't. You never do.
I needed you to tell me you cared about me. You never would.
I needed you to say you're sorry you didn't come to check on me last night. I knew you wouldn't. You don't know how to be there for someone who needs you.
I needed you to say you don't know what you'd do if I'd died, but you do. You'd do nothing.
I needed you to say that you see me the same way I see you, that I'm like a son to you. But I'm not.
I needed you to say you loved me. But you won't let yourself.
For so long I've wanted to be like you. I wanted to be as good a doctor as you, I wanted to be as smart as you, I wanted to have my whole world figured out like you.
But I'm not like you, and I can't be like you.
I needed you, but you weren't there.
I guess it's time to walk on my own.
Not that I have a choice.