The characters of BtVS and Angel do not belong to me. I guess Buffy now belongs to UPN, joss and I'm not sure who else. Angel's still under the WB joss, and others.
This fic takes place after the series/season finales. Basically it's what Willow tells Angel
I didn't get to see any of the season finales since I am out of the country right now, but I got 'the call' on Tuesday and knew I had to write something for it.
Home Sweet…
God, I never thought I would miss LA so much! But we're home! Angel rushed in front of all the others towards the front door. "I want to say this, hold on, HOME SWEET…his voice died in his throat.
"Willow?" Angel knew. He knew. Something was dead in Willow's eyes as she stared straight at him. Her eyes didn't look down and they didn't look away. They looked straight into him.
In the back of his mind, he knew that Cordy had said something. But his attention was on Willow's eyes. "Its Buffy". He knew because her eyes told him. His eyes lowered to her mouth. His mind was screaming, 'Don't say it! Please, for the love of God, DON'T SAY IT!'
Like slow motion, her mouth opened. He didn't hear her voice catch, he didn't hear the words that would rip through his soul. He saw Willow's mouth. "I'm sorry".
Angel closed his eyes against the pain. It was too much. Nothing was supposed to hurt this badly. Hell, torture, death, nothing came even close to this pain.
Cordelia was holding his hand, speaking to him. He looked over at her, and her brow was furrowed with sorrow. They were making it feel too real. 'No', that one word was repeated over and over again in his head.
He didn't hear Cordelia ask what happened, he didn't hear Willow telling them. All he heard was 'I'm sorry'. It didn't make sense. She couldn't be dead. "How?" His voice sounded soft and as old as all it's 200+ years.
Willow couldn't go through it again. She relived it once tonight, she couldn't do it again. Not even for Angel. Instead she said simply, "Saving the world".
Angel was quiet for a moment. Then he turned to go upstairs. He walked straight passed Willow. "Not mine". She watched him disappear up the staircase. She turned back to the group in front of her.
"I should go now. I'm…sorry." She started pass them, but was caught by Cordelia. "Willow, I don't know what to say. I'm…I don't know what I am. If you or Xander, and Giles…if anyone needs anything at all. We'll be here for you."
Willow nodded but said, "Watch him. Take care of him, okay?"
Cordelia looked in the direction of the stairs and nodded.
Willow walked out of the hotel, but stopped against the wall outside. Silent tears wracked her body. Slowly, they eased away. She wiped her eyes and headed back towards Xander's car.
Buffy had said she was the strongest out of all of them. She was Buffy's big gun. She got into the car, but couldn't stop herself from looking back at the hotel.
There were some things that nobody was strong enough for.
She turned her car around and headed for home.
"Angel?" There was no response. She walked into the bedrooms that he kept for himself. "Angel?"
He was in the chair. He wasn't saying anything. He wasn't looking at anything. It frightened the hell out of her. She went to him and put a hand on his shoulder. Anything to make contact with him. She couldn't even feel him in the room with her.
Angel finally spoke. "She was the reason. Everything I did, everything I was working towards…it was all for her. The day- the day that I spent with her…that one perfect day. I gave up a lifetime with her just to know that she would live. How is that fair, Cordy. How am I supposed to live with that."
He looked at her now, and she wished that he hadn't. Nobody should look that way, not a human and not a demon. No one. And this was the second time she had seen it in one night. First Willow, now Angel.
"I'm going to make you something to drink, okay." He didn't respond
"Angel? Are you going to be alright?" He looked at her then, and gave her the saddest smile she had ever seen.
"I don't think so." She didn't know what else to do for him. She walked back to the door to leave.
One more glance over her shoulder broke her heart. He was still sitting, and he was so still it scared her. His eyes were vacant, but she didn't see what he was staring at.
For the first time ever, Angel seemed dead to her.