Art Senses Fear
I got the idea for this story in art class while I was trying to do calligraphy, after seeing a tumblr post about how calligraphy can sense your fear. Here's the url to that post with spaces instead of periods (fanfiction net doesn't allow links): mishakatamari tumblr com/post/71618530952/calligraphy-is-literally-an-art-that-can-sense
Thanks for the inspiration, whoever you are!
Disclaimer: All rights to Frozen go to Disney.
Elsa was frustrated. Anna's birthday was in two days, and she still hadn't written her a satisfactory card. At first, the only problem had been trying to figure out how to make the card special. After all, this was going to be Anna's first birthday since Elsa had hurt her in the ballroom and started staying in her room to protect everyone, and Elsa had to make sure that Anna knew that it wasn't her fault and that Elsa still loved her.
Elsa groaned, holding her head in her hands, elbows on the desk. Writing Anna's card in calligraphy had seemed like a great idea at first, but the letters coming out of the pen looked crooked and weird. It didn't help that frost kept slipping out of her hands despite the gloves, covering the pen and the paper and once freezing the ink bottle. Elsa had been a lot more careful after that. If she lost control and somehow caused the ink to go everywhere, her parents wouldn't be happy.
Sitting back up in her chair, Elsa stared out the window. A few years ago she and Anna had been doing calligraphy for fun after their mama had suggested they try it. Both sisters had been good at it, although Anna had tended to write a little too fast. Elsa wondered why it was so hard for her now.
A knock on the door shocked her out of her reverie. Elsa quickly scanned the room and made sure it was ice free before saying "Come in!"
Her mama opened the door and stepped into the room. "It's time for you to get ready for bed. I'll be back with your father in ten minutes to say goodnight, ok?"
Elsa glanced at the clock on her desk, surprised at how late it was. She'd been trying to write Anna's card for a long time. "Ok," she answered.
Mama smiled and then left, closing the door quietly.
Elsa stood up from her chair and got ready for bed. Ten minutes later she was lying under the covers, reading a book, but she couldn't concentrate on it because she was worrying that she wasn't going to be able to get the card done tomorrow. If she hadn't been able to do it today, why would tomorrow be any different?
The knock came again, and this time both Elsa's parents were there. Elsa put the book down and Papa walked up to her bed and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight, Elsa."
Mama gave her a kiss on her cheek, then pulled the covers up over her shoulders. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Elsa said, mentally resigning herself to a rather sleepless one. If only she could stop worrying about Anna's card! Suddenly she thought of something, and sat up straight in bed. "Wait, Mama! Could you sing me a lullaby?"
Mama turned back around, a slightly surprised look on her face. Elsa hadn't asked for a lullaby in a while.
"Please?" Elsa begged. "I don't think I'll be able to go to sleep without one."
Her mama's expression softened. "Of course I'll sing you a lullaby." She sat down on the end of Elsa's bed. "Which one do you want to hear?"
"I don't care." Elsa snuggled back under the covers as her mama began to sing. The last thing she felt before going to sleep was someone's hand gently brushing the hair out of her face. Whether it was her mama or her papa, she didn't know.
The next morning after breakfast, Elsa was again at her desk, working on the card for Anna. After a few more failed attempts and freezing her pen, she decided that she should practice writing something else besides Happy Birthday Anna over and over again, because those three words weren't getting any better no matter how many times she wrote them. After thinking for a moment, she started copying the lyrics to the lullaby her mama had sung to her last night. After hearing it so many times, Elsa knew every word by heart.
A small smile was on Elsa's face as she wrote, hearing her mama's voice singing in her head. As she wrote the last few words to the song she remembered that her mama had sung this to her and Anna back when they shared a room. Anna had always loved this lullaby, and had often asked Mama to sing it twice when she hadn't fallen asleep the first time. Elsa sighed and reminded herself that she couldn't go back to sharing a room with Anna because it was just too dangerous. It wasn't worth the risk of Anna getting hurt again.
Elsa pushed those thoughts away and looked over her work, softly humming the lullaby. It was definitely her best writing yet, and with a start she realized that she hadn't frozen anything while writing it. She looked at all the crumpled pieces of paper that were her failed attempts at Anna's card, and wondered if she should just give Anna the song lyrics and forget the card. After all, their mother had sung the song to both of them. However, Elsa knew that she wouldn't be happy with herself if she gave up now. Anna had to know that Elsa still cared about her. She picked up another blank card, determined to get it right. As she started writing Happy Birthday for the umpteenth time, she started worrying again that Anna thought she didn't love her anymore, and the letters came out shaky, frost sliding over the paper. Elsa put the pen down and took a deep breath. She couldn't write properly when she started worrying. That's why the song had turned out so well. Elsa grabbed another card, and tried to push all her fears away. It wasn't working. She had to replace the fear with something else, or it would just come back. Elsa brought every happy memory related to Anna to the front of her mind, and started writing the card again.
Happy Birthday Anna!
I can't believe you're already six. I hope you have a great birthday and eat all the chocolate you want!
Lots of love,
Elsa
Elsa giggled with joy as she signed her name. Finally, she'd written a card good enough to give to Anna! She set the card down and picked up the lullaby again, deciding that even though she'd gotten the card done, she was going to give Anna the lullaby too, because she wanted her sister to be able to look at it and think about her mama singing the song to her, just like she had.
On the day of Anna's birthday, Elsa was excited. She had told her parents last night that she was going to give Anna the card and the lullaby that morning at breakfast, because she didn't want to wait until dinner when Anna would get the rest of her presents.
However, there was a lot of nervousness tempering her excitement. She usually went down to breakfast before Anna got there, ate quickly with her parents, and left almost as soon as Anna arrived. Today she would have to stay and be extra careful to conceal her powers the whole time. Elsa took a deep breath and stalled for a bit by tugging at her gloves. Finally she picked up the card and the rolled up piece of paper that was the lullaby and walked down the hallway, heading to the dining hall. Halfway there she had a horrible thought. What if Anna hated her now and thought Elsa hated her back? Elsa shoved that idea out of her head as soon as she could, but the damage was done, and most of her excitement was replaced by fear.
Breakfast seemed to take forever that morning. Elsa picked at her food, trying her hardest to conceal, not feel, while Anna practically bounced in her seat, chattering in between bites. Finally the servants cleared the plates away, and Mama and Papa gave Elsa encouraging smiles.
"Hey Anna, I've got something for you," Elsa said shyly, holding out the card and the rolled up paper. "Happy Birthday."
"Ooh, presents already!" Anna read the card out loud, getting laughs from their parents and a half smile from Elsa. "Thank you!" Anna said, giving Elsa a big grin before unrolling the lullaby. "What's this?"
Elsa wrung her hands under the table. Maybe she should've just stuck with the card. What if Anna didn't even remember the lullaby?
Elsa was extremely relieved when Anna's face lit up and she showed the paper to their parents. "Look Mama, it's my favorite song that you sing to me!" she said excitedly. Anna ran around the table and reached out to give Elsa a hug.
Elsa stiffened at first, staring at the white streak in Anna's hair, and considered pushing her away out of fear. What if Elsa's powers acted up and Anna got cold and still again, like she had on that night in the ballroom not so long ago?
As Anna's arms wrapped around her, Elsa decided that there was no way her powers could act up while she was feeling this happy. She stood up and hugged Anna properly, tears of relief and pure joy gathering in her eyes. Anna knew that Elsa still loved her, and as long as that was true everything was going to be ok.