Too Much Work
By: Storychan
Rating: T for violence, language, depression, teen moms, and the assassin protagonist
Fandom: Yu Gi Oh
Plot: 3 years ago, Himeko was the devoted wife of Jounouchi. Now, she's the badass bodyguard of Kaiba. And she ABSOLUTELY HATES them both. Too bad they're basically living with her….
Warning: slight futurefic/AU, Jounouchi/OC, slight Kaiba/OC, teen pregnancy, many mentions of murder, frequent violence, Jerk! Kaiba, Deadbeat! Jounouchi, depressing monologues, mercenaries, general bitterness, dark subject matter, potential female-on-male abuse
Authors'Notes: For y'all that only know his 4kids dub name, Jounouchi = Joey. Also, I don't own Yu Gi Oh and this is just for kicks. Also, in spite of the above warnings, this is basically a tsundere-heavy romantic comedy fic, with some dark themes thrown in. No flames please! R & R!
Chapter 1
19-year-old Himeko was up in the middle of the night, and for once it wasn't because of her 3-year-old daughter Takane's crying, or her jerk boss Kaiba calling her to be his hired blade so he could safely walk through the slums to a ridiculously late red-eye he needed to take for his business.
Himeko was up because she was hungry.
"There's no food in this house," Himeko grumbled, "Argh! Why did Takane have to take after that dumbass Jounouchi as far as how much she eats? Even being the bodyguard of a big time CEO like stupid Kaiba barely keeps me able to get enough food for that girl."
Admittedly, keeping food on the table had gotten much easier once Himeko had graduated high school (valedictorian, in spite of having a toddler to raise by herself) and been able to work full-time at KaibaCorp, keeping a hawkish eye on Seto Kaiba so some rival didn't try to off him, "the competition".
Being the insufferable leader of a gaming company that used to have much more warlike interests didn't make Kaiba less of a target, either. The man had zero friends, but kept making more enemies.
Not that he COULDN'T have friends, Himeko thought. Back when I was 16, busy getting myself over my head eloping with Jounouchi and having his baby, and still hung out with him and his friends, I remember Yugi-kun kept trying to win Kaiba over with "the power of friendship"….
THAT worked out, Not.
Now I'm broken up with Jounouchi, a single mom, an overworked sword-slinging mercenary, and…..damn, pretty much the closest thing that asshole Kaiba has to a friend.
Not that I'm friendly to that jackwagon.
It was actually pretty funny, when Himeko thought about it. She was the only one at KaibaCorp that made no pretense of the fact that she hated Kaiba, and that if someone offered her more money to kill Kaiba then Kaiba gave her to protect him, she'd take the offer and assassinate him in a heartbeat.
Which was cold, and ruthless, and scary, and selfish.
Just like Kaiba. They were quite the pair.
Himeko guessed she knew him pretty well, since her job basically was following him around for several hours a day just in case somebody tried to attack him. And since she lived in the corporate housing Kaiba had given her, he seemed to feel he had the right to call her in the middle of the night and then show up in a limo in front of her house, demanding she guard him while he was someplace he had to be.
She was honestly pretty muich at Kaiba's beck and call. And nothing pissed her off more.
She remembered how the whole bizarre arrangement had started.
It was a few months before Himeko's 19th birthday. Graduation was weeks away, but she wasn't studying. She was at the Red House, a popular gathering place for mercenaries and assassins like herself, staring at a bulletin board of potential jobs.
A request to assassinate the mayor. Sweet payday, but too risky.
A plea by the curator of a museum to guard his exhibit while it was being shipped out of town. That wouldn't work, either- she'd have to travel with the truck the exhibit was on until it reached its destination. That would mean leaving Takane home alone. She only did in-city jobs.
An offer from a poor dropout girl needing a 24 hour guard from a stalker. She sympathized, but the job just didn't pay enough.
And Himeko needed a job with good pay right now, or she and Takane wouldn't eat tonight.
Pathetic thoughts crept into her head.
…What if I asked Jounouchi for a loan?
Right after I make a big fuss of telling that idiot I don't want his help, because any child support he could provide is contingent upon whether or not he can win a children's card game? Yeah, right…..
Jounouchi's the one who mooches off ME for food, spends hours lazily watching my TV and playing card games with those joker friends of his, Honda and Otogi, under the pretense of "spending time with Takane"…not that Takane doesn't normally join their games, too. Or that Jounouchi doesn't love Takane.
He's just a dumbass who's lazy and eats more than a freaking bear…who I used to be in love with.
That's probably why I still let him eat my food, borrow my books so he MIGHT not flunk out of school,and hang out at my house so much that he basically lives there.
Because I love Jounouchi, even though we're just friends now, per my own request.
And because it makes Takane happy.
As those thoughts rolled through her head, Kaiba appeared. She hadn't seen him in 3 years,since she'd broke up with Jounouchi and thus stopped going to his duels.
Jounouchi had never liked Kaiba, so neither had she.
Kaiba was a smug, selfish egomaniac. She couldn't stand him, and he knew it. But he'd always seemed to respect her a little more than Jounouchi, because of her cynicism and intelligence that none of her friends had. And because she called him out on his crap every time he was a jerk to Jounouchi, which was often.
They were still basically enemies, though. She thought he was a too-big-for-his-britches megalomaniac. He thought she was a lovesick moron for wasting her intelligence and talent on impressing Jounouchi, who he couldn't stand.
Yet here he was.
"What are YOU doing here?" she'd barked, eyeing him with suspicious contempt.
"Looking to get a job done, you idiot," Kaiba had smirked. "If it's not too much work."
"What's the job?" she'd asked, her need for cash outweighing her pride. Face flushing, she glared at him.
"What, you'd take it?" Kaiba smirked, amused. "Thought you couldn't stand me, Himeko."
"I can't." she fumed, then decided on a rare tactic-honesty. "I'm trying to support my daughter".
Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "What, that loser Jounouchi's brat?"
"Call her a brat one more time and you won't make it back to your fancy office alive, Kaiba."
Smirking but backing up, Kaiba nodded. "I'm not stupid enough to argue with a woman with a dagger in her hand."
Looking down, Himeko realized she'd pointed the dagger she used for her work at him without even realizing it.
Realizing death threats weren't going to help her case, she lowered it.
"You'll do anything to support the child you love, won't you?" Kaiba asked. "I suppose I can u dertsand that." She realized he was referring to the child HE loved, his brother Mokuba.
When she was still with Jounouchi, she and Mokuba would occasionally hang out, but Kaiba didn't even talk to her except to tell her and Jounouchi and Yugi to stay away from his little brother.
Jerk.
But Himeko was desperate.
"I heard you can't even pay your rent, can you?" asked Kaiba, seeming sadistically pleased by the fact.
"What's it to you?" Himeko barked.
"Well, if you'll be my bodyguard, that could change."
"Your….bodyguard?" Himeko repeated, bewildered. "Are you on crack?"
"I know you don't want to work with me, Himeko-san," Kaiba growled. "Frankly, I don't want to work with you either. But I hear you're the best guard in Domino City. And I need the best. Take it or leave it."
Himeko couldn't leave it, or Takane would suffer for it. How could she turn down an offer to give her child a better life…even if it came from a man she couldn't stand?
So in the end, she took him up on the offer. She got a very nice paycheck and rent-free corporate housing. And she and Takane were finally able to live comfortably, and it didn't matter how much Jounouchi ate when he came over for dinner every weekend to see Takane, because she could afford it.
Not that she stopped yelling at Jounouchi for taking all her food, of course.
"I'll work for you," she told Kaiba. "But I won't be nice to you."
"I'm not paying you to be nice," Kaiba had grinned, "I'm paying you to glare and wave that dagger around, which is way more suitable to a bitchy girl like you anyway. I don't intend to be nice to you either. In fact, it's actually refreshing to have an employee openly hate my guts instead of brown-nosing. And don't worry…..I hate your guts, too."
Himeko was stunned out of that depressing memory when she heard a knock at her door.
She was in her PJs, so she yelled, "I'm not answering the door. Go away, whoever you are!"
The knocking persisted.
"I said get lost!: she called. "It's like, midnight!"
The knocker kept knocking.
"Alright!" cried Himeko, pulling her robe tighter around herself as she opened the door, screaming, "What the hell do you want?"
And looked to see Kaiba and Mokuba standing on her doorstep with a plethora of suitcases, the former raising an eyebrow at the sight of Himeko in a robe and nightgown instead of her usual black leather uniform.
Himeko blushed, angry and embarrassed. The hell is he looking at?
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Remember the guy who tried to set my briefcase on fire?"
"Yeah, I kicked him out of your office and sent him packing. Why?"
"He came back…and he burned my entire corporate offices down."
Himeko gasped. Turning her head, she could see a pillar of smoke in the distance coming from where KaibaCorp HQ used to be.
"I lived in the KaibaCorp building," Kaiba explained. "So did Mokuba. Because we owned it, after since we also own your house, we've decided to live here with you until HQ can be rebuilt."
"WHAAAAAAAT?"
Kaiba, smirking, strode past her into her living room, and flopped down on her couch. "I'll sleep here," he announced. "I'm not THAT high-maitenance."
"B-but…." Himeko began angrily, feeling she'd already lost control of the situation.
Then Takane, awakened by the commotion, came down the stairs.
"Mommy, what's Kaiba doin' here?" she asked, pouting and pointing at him. "Daddy says Kaiba a poopyhead."
"He is," muttered Himeko through gritted teeth.
"If you won't let me live with you," Kaiba grinned, clearly enjoying Himeko's discomfort, "I couid always just evict you, and repossess the place. Because I own it. Don't forget that your daughters' wellbeing depends on how nice I feel like being."
Defeated but still glaring defiantly, Himeko accepted that her only choice was to let Kaiba move in with her. Mokuba would have to share a room with Takane, since she didn't have a guest room. But that was nothing compared to the thought of the 24/7 presence of Seto Kaiba in her life!
"This is….just not fair," she sighed, ignoring Kaiba's gloating grin as she ran to fetch pillows for her despicable new house guests.