A/N: Greetings! I've been meaning to submit this story for the longest time, but I didn't know how to go about starting it. Izuru Kira is one of my favorite Bleach characters and I decided I might as well take a shot at writing a fic about him, since there aren't too many invloving him as a principal character, much less a het fic. So I figured that if I was going to do this, I might as well make it crack. That's where Matsumoto comes in... the pun was intended. Enjoy!

Chapter 01-- The Question

Kira stared into the mirror. Shifting his eyes slightly, he noticed a glistening on his brow and reached to wipe it, surprised to find that his hand was moist when he pulled it away. As he had suspected, the men's room was indeed humid.

Under other circumstances, the blond would have been careful about breathing in too much of the air circulating in a public bathroom, but given that this was a decent restaurant and that the other customers appeared to be of good hygiene, he took a long-needed deep breath.

Kira watched his cheeks slowly deflate from the air being released from inside.

"Hey, are you okay?" Asked a calm, anonymous voice from a stall not too far from where Kira was standing, "You looked to be hyperventilating a little when I came in. Do you need an ambulance or something?"

Kira smiled. "No, thank you. I'm fine, truly."

"If you say so," the man responded, appearing to lose interest, "Grip that sink any harder, kid, and you'll be washing dishes for this place in no time."

Kira stared down and was surprised to see that he was indeed gripping the sink a tad bit too much. He pinched his nose and gave off a nervous sigh.

"It looks like I'm still constipated."

Kira blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Constipated. Still."

The bathroom was quickly filled with a silence that was only interrupted by another man coming in to use of the three urinals to Kira's right.

"What seems to be your problem kid?" The silence was broken after the second man flushed and zipped his pants, "We've all got our problems… surely yours isn't as bad as mine, ne?"

Kira closed his eyes and shook his head, resisting the urge to laugh. To think, that he was talking to a nameless middle-aged man sitting on a toilet waiting for a bowel movement.

"I'm going to propose to my girlfriend tonight." Kira finally revealed the source of his anxiety, "I'm nervous."

"Huh," the man voiced, "How long have you two been dating?"

"Almost ten years now."

There was a clunk heard from the stall, leading Kira to believe that the man might've hit his head.

"Just how old are you?"

The blond then remembered that he was in the world of the living. Kira looked to be young enough to be the man's son, thereby implying that he had started dating as a tween.

"Well!" The blond quickly added, making up a lie on the spot, "We've known each other since we were in school," over fifty years ago , "but our third anniversary is coming up."

"High school sweethearts, eh?"

"Yeah…"

"Meh." The man said, clearly indifferent judging by his voice, "Not too many couples around marrying young… I wish you the best of luck, kid."

"You seem nervous, Izuru. Are you okay? You've been fidgeting since we left the restaurant."

"No, I'm fine." He lied, feeling the hair near his temples dampen with perspiration.

"Okay, if you say so," Momo replied suspiciously before returning her attentions to her vanilla ice cream cone.

He thought it wise that he hadn't told Renji about his plans as the red head would have probably pushed him ahead in the four times Kira had bailed on following through making the proposal. He wanted to do this at his own pacing and today, today would be the day he would ask.

In fact, Kira had made a personal wager: if this turned out to be the fifth failed attempt, then he would give Renji his monthly paycheck. Although he had enough money saved to sustain himself for longer than that, the thought that the paycheck would likely be used to buy another pair of ridiculously expensive shades provided enough incentive.

Kira squared his shoulders and cleared his throat.

Here we go…

"Momo, can I ask you something?"

"Hmmm?" She responded, taking a lick from her cone.

"Will you marry me?"

Momo paused and slowly turned to face him with a dumbfounded expression.

"Oh! Here, I almost forgot." Kira nervously searched his pocket for the small box and firmly placed it in her palm when he found it.

It was no secret that Kira had harbored a crush on Momo since their days in the Academy. He thought it strange that during those years when his companions were using their time in school to mature into young adults and able Shinigami, he had begun thinking about things most students his age wouldn't even think about for decades, perhaps even centuries.

Lying awake in his bunk at night due to Renji's snores in the bunk above him, he would wonder what kind of woman he would marry and how many children they would have. What kind of life they would lead and whether he would grow old with his wife.

His own mother and father had not married until an age when it was reasonable to expect that the couple would never have children and they didn't expect to either. Had they still been alive, Kira would have appeared to be their grandson rather than their first and only son.

He didn't want to wait. With Aizen defeated and his remaining minions being hunted down one by one every week, it was a perfect time to begin building a family. With his position as Lieutenant of the Third Division and acting head of it, it was reasonable to expect that his line of duty would put him in dangerous situations. If he had survived the Winter War, then he could make through anything.

"I--" Momo spoke, and his heart leapt, "I can't accept this."

Everything stopped.

Kira had asked a question that had two potential answers, yet he had not expected for a second that the reply would be in the negative. As far as he knew, the last ten years had been an enjoyable experience to them both… what had he done wrong? Then again, why had he been so nervous back in the bath room? Had he subconsciously been aware of the possibility?

"Why?" Kira asked, looking away to hide his dismay.

Momo bit her lip. "You deserve better."

Kira quickly looked at her in bewilderment.

This sudden revelation made after ten years...

She's hiding something…

"You're not telling me everything, Momo." Kira said in a curt voice that surprised both of them.

She looked down in shame, "I was going to call it quits before this… I just didn't know how."

Anger bubbled up within him. Momo had been planning their break up for how long? To think, that while he had been shaking like a fool, going over where and when he would propose, she was planning something else entirely.

"Why now?" He demanded in a hollow voice, "Why not last year? Three years? Four years? Why now? What did I do?"

Momo slid her hand in his and squeezed it. She refused to look at him, even though he wanted to make eye contact. Instead, she focused her gaze in their joined hands.

"Four months ago, during Rangiku's party. You left early because you had to present a report the next morning at a captain's meeting detailing how the Third Division was fairing without a captain. We drank a lot. I did stupid things, we all did that night."

Momo pulled his hand from his and placed both her hand on her knees to squeeze.

"I slept with Shyuuhei. It was an accident!" She looked at Kira, but his face did not revealing anything.

"I-is that why he has been avoiding me?"

Momo nodded.

"It was an accident Momo, like you said. I know you'd never do anything like that intentionally." Kira grasped her hand, "We all make mistakes."

He wouldn't forget this incident right away, but with time, he'd cope. He had too. His knew his relationship with Momo was strong enough to overcome something of this magnitude.

"You're a good guy, Izuru," Momo gave him a quick kiss and choked back a sob, "but the answer is still 'no'."

With that, Momo shunpoed away, leaving Kira alone with no companion but his thoughts and an unopened velvet box.

A/N: Lemme know what you guys think. R&R Ladies and Gents!