It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon at the Halliwell Manor and the Charmed Ones were watching a new episode of Top Gear online. They were glad that they didn't have to look after their kids, because – like every time when they were watching Top Gear – their husbands took the children out for a walk. It was just the sisters' time.

At that moment, there was a review for one really amazing car.

"Oh, God! Can you see this car? Oh, God, I have to buy it!" said Phoebe.

"Yeah, it's great, but if you want it, you'll have to pay it on your own," Piper replied.

"Too bad, I don't have enough money, it's so expensive…" Phoebe said with a sad expression.

"Bugatti, what'd you expect," commented Paige.

"But you have a car already, so what's the big deal?" Piper asked.

"The big deal is that my car isn't as cool as this one," Phoebe answered.

"Oh, listen! That sound is amazing!" Paige said when the car speeded up.

"All right, so we already know this car is fast, it looks great and it will not make your nerd friend throw up even in you speed up. But there's one more important question. What if I were tired and needed my dog to drive instead? Would a man's best friend be able to do it? The answer is – sadly, no," Jeremy said, and the Halliwell sisters could see a Labrador sitting on the driver's seat, doing nothing. "As you can see, there's not enough place for the dog to put his front paws on the wheel. Also, the seat is too high and the dog can't reach to the pedals. Which means that if you want to drive the car, you'll have to make sure not to be too exhausted, because your dog won't help you on this one."

Afterwards, there was a cut to the studio and James said, "Oh no! Dogs can't drive the car!"

"Poor doggy, he really looked as though he wanted to drive, but couldn't," Richard added.

"Yes, that's a very big disadvantage of the car," Jeremy said, "nevertheless, now it's time to hand it over to our tame racing driver." Suddenly, Jeremy's eyes glowed as he said, "Some say he is the Source of All Evil and that he's here to destroy the Charmed Ones." His eyes stopped glowing and people laughed. "All we know is, he's called The Stig," he finished, only for The Stig's race to appear on the screen.

The sisters were staring at the computer, mouths opened. They wore dazed expressions. What the hell what that all about?! They looked at each other.

"The Book of Shadows?" Phoebe asked.

"Duh" was Piper's reply as she turned to go to the attic. Her sisters were right behind her. When they entered the attic, Paige went to the Book and started searching through it. Unfortunately, she couldn't find anything. At one point, however, Paige accidentally skipped a page when she turned two pages at once by mistake, and Piper noticed.

"Wait, Paige, didn't you skip a page?" Piper asked.

"Yeah, sure, Piper, very funny. Is that a pun? You know, 'cause my name is Paige and it sounds exactly like the word page. If it is a pun, I'll assure you that it's not funny," Paige said with sarcastic look.

"No, Paige, I mean it. You skipped one page," Piper replied.

"It's really not funny, Piper, I told you," Paige almost shrieked. She really hated when somebody made fun of her name.

"Paige, I mean it!" Piper said, looking at Paige as if she was crazy.

That was the time for Phoebe to prove herself as the right middle sister, and she turned the page back. Suddenly, they all saw it.

"Oh, my God, Piper! You were right! I skipped this page!" Paige gasped. However, it was not because Piper was right… Well, okay, it was partly because Piper was right, but that was not the only reason.

"Wait, that's it! That's The Stig!" Piper stared at the page in the Book of Shadows. There was a picture of him – in his uniform, of course.

"How is possible that we've never noticed this before?" Phoebe asked in disbelief. They looked at the text.

"Demons with uncovered faces," Piper read the headline and stopped. The sisters turned at each other. Uncovered faces?

Suddenly, little shiny golden orbs replaced the title, and when they disappeared, the words 'Masked demons' were written down.

"Sorry, a little mistake," Prue's voice was heard from the beyond.

"That was a really stupid mistake," Piper snorted and started reading, "Some demons are using masks to hide themselves. This is one example of the mask, which is sometimes used by upper-level demons, upper upper-level demons, upper upper-upper-level demons, upper upper-upper-upper-level demons, upper upper-upper-upper-upper-level demons and/or the Source of All Evil."

"I guess it's an upper upper-upper-upper-level demon," Paige said once Piper finished reading.

"What?" Piper said, shocked by what her sister just said. "Paige, you can't just guess! Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be?"

"I think it's an upper upper-level demon," Phoebe commented with a determined look.

"So do I," Piper agreed.

"Wait! Why do you think it's an upper upper-level demon?" Paige said, not quite understanding their suggestion.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I think it's our safest bet," Phoebe explained while Piper was nodding.

"Based on what?" Paige questioned and neither Phoebe nor Piper knew what to say. "Ha! Gotcha! You just guessed!" she cried with aggrieved voice.

"No! We think so, we don't guess so, that's different," Piper shouted angrily.

"And how is that different, seeing you don't have any proof for your theory?" complained Paige.

"The difference is that we are older than you, so what we say is more important than what you say," Piper said, not knowing the best answer.

"Yeah!" Phoebe agreed, nodding quickly.

"No! If you two wanted to jump out of the window and I didn't, would your word be more important, too? Even if you were being stupid?!" Paige hollered.

"Yes!" Piper and Phoebe called out at once.

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

The sisters were so involved in their little fight that they didn't even realize that The Stig had flamed into the attic. He watched their fight for about a minute, but then he got bored and decided to interrupt them. He made a sound as if he was clearing his throat, but the sisters didn't hear him, so he shouted, "Hey! I'm here, too!"

The Charmed Ones jumped and turned around. Once they saw who was standing there, their eyes widened. Piper and Paige opened their mouths in shock, yet Phoebe smiled, happy that she got a chance to meet her favorite Top Gear character.

Piper – being the oldest sister – was the first one who spoke, "All right, who are you?"

The Stig started laughing – quietly and scarily, in order to make the moment more dramatic – and then he slowly reached for his helmet, and even more slowly started taking it off.

"Isn't this a spoiler?" Phoebe whispered to her sisters, and Piper made a hushing gesture. The Charmed Ones were breathing so slowly one might think they weren't breathing at all. Their hearts were beating so loudly that if the room had been absolutely quiet, the hearts would have been almost audible. The biggest mystery in all history was about to be revealed to the sisters. They couldn't remember a moment when they had felt more excited, eager, yet at the same time terrified. The three women actually heard a dramatic music that increased the suspense they felt, until Phoebe got sick of it and turned the radio that was producing the sound off.

Finally, The Stig put an end to the Charmed Ones staring at him in breathless suspense by removing his helmet completely, and putting it onto a nearby table. The three witches were probably in even more stunned than before. That was probably the least expected person in the world. It was… the Source of All Evil!

And again, Piper found herself having to be the one who knew what to do. She left the room without a word, leaving her sisters with the ugly demon that had only half a face. All three stared at the witch as she exited, all of their eyebrows raised in a questioning manner.

Two minutes later, Piper came back and joined her sisters, only this time she was holding a glass of water. She walked up to the place where she had been standing three minutes before and took a sip, only to spit it out the next second.

"What?!" Piper yelled, shocked upon seeing who The Stig was, "But… How is that… Aren't you dead?" she stuttered while putting the glass down onto a table.

"Well, I'm not. Obviously," the Source said. "I was, but then I found the way to get back from that dead eternity."

"How did you do it?" Paige asked.

"Sorry, I can't tell you," the Source replied.

"Why not?" Paige said, sounding somewhat hurt and disappointed.

"Because the writer of this story wasn't smart enough to come up with the way," the Source explained.

"Oh, well, I guess that makes sense," said Paige thoughtfully.

"How long have you been here?" Phoebe questioned.

"Long enough to start getting bored by driving racing cars," the Source told her.

"That means six years, five months and fourteen days, right?" Phoebe asked.

"Impressive," the demon said as he nodded. "You know, I got bored, and when I realized you still hadn't found out who The Stig was by yourselves, I decided to give you a little clue."

"So it was you who made Jeremy say that thing about you and about us, wasn't it?" Paige asked uncertainly.

"Of course!" The Source couldn't understand how it was possible that she was so stupid. Or how it was possible that she was still alive, considering that she was so stupid. Actually, they all seemed stupid to him.

"Wait… Jeremy's eyes were glowing. Which means you used your powers in public! Why on earth did you do that? You know that both sides agreed that magic can't be exposed to the mortals," Piper yelled.

"Oh, no, don't worry. Only magical beings were able to see the glowing. That was part of the spell," the Source explained.

"Fair enough. But don't you think that Jeremy must be confused about it? I mean, he had no reason to say 'The Charmed Ones,' he doesn't know us," Phoebe stated.

"Oh, come on, of course he knows you. Everybody knows you – the other 'you,' anyway," the Source said with a smirk, but when he saw their confused expressions, his smirk froze. "Wait, you don't know it? You really don't know it?!"

"What don't we know?" Phoebe asked.

"Geez, you really don't know it! Where have you lived? Have you been on this planet in the past few years?" The Source didn't know whether he should laugh or cry (or do both at once).

"What are you talking about?" Piper inquired.

"Do you remember the witch you saved, Connie?" the Source replied with a question.

"Yeah," Piper and Phoebe said.

"No," said Paige, obviously confused.

"You can't remember it, you didn't know us back then. She was the first witch we ever saved," Piper explained.

"And she was so thankful," the Source said, "that she came up with an idea to create a TV series about you. She got some–"

"Wait! Hold it for a minute. Is this going to be one of those stories, where the villain has the never ending monologue, only in order to make the story last longer, and to give the good guys more time to do something and win?" Phoebe asked, afraid she will have to go through the same cliché again.

"Yes, it is," the villain replied as Phoebe shook her head in disbelief and snorted. "Anyway, she got some actors and actresses and cast a spell so they looked just like you. It was a really cool spell, it changed their appearance in the past, too. Afterwards, she told few people about her idea and they created a popular TV show called 'Charmed.' She told her coven– What the hell are you doing?" the Source said as Paige started making the blah-blah gesture, looking as though she was really bored, and her sisters giggled. "Stop that and let me finish first!" he said and Paige rolled her eyes, but stopped anyway. "Thank you. Well, she told her coven to watch you guys and then they were writing scripts based on your real lives. Of course, they changed some things to make the story more interesting for the audience. For example, they made Prue's death a lot more dramatic than it actually was," the Source said and noticed their stunned expressions, "But don't worry, it was canceled in 2006, they had some problems with money." Their faces didn't change a bit. "All right, I lied." The sisters sighed with relief. "The truth is that Connie didn't do it because she was thankful, she did it for the money," the Source explained.

"Gee, do you have any idea how much it scared us when we thought it was gratitude?!" Piper said angrily.

"Sorry, just a joke," the Source apologized.

"I can't believe they canceled us!" Paige said in disbelief. Her sisters turned their gazes to her. "Oh, come on, we're an interesting family. TV series about us shouldn't have problems with money. But maybe we're not that interesting…"

"All right, we'll talk to Connie about it later, we have bigger problems right now," Phoebe told her sisters. "They created a TV show about us and they didn't give us a single penny!"

"Hey, I think that I should be your biggest problem right now," the Source claimed, feeling ashamed, but the Charmed Ones ignored him.

"We'll talk about the money too," uttered Piper. By then, the Source had heard enough. He was really bored, so he threw a fireball at the Grandfather clock. The sisters finally started paying attention to him.

"Oh no, something was telling me that I shouldn't have put this thing into the attic," Piper said disappointedly.

"You'll pay for the next repair, mister," Phoebe told the Source.

"I just wanted to get your attention somehow," the Source tried to excuse his behavior, "and now that I've finally got it… I'll kill you!"

"Oh yeah, really? And how are you planning to do it? Do you know how many times your little friends have tried to kill us? I don't. Well, I think it's about two or three hundred times, but I wasn't really counting. None of them were successful. Neither you were. Why do you think that you could kill us now?" Phoebe asked disdainfully. The Source just stared at her, openmouthed, because he didn't know what to say.

"Umm…" the Source paused for a while, but the sisters kept watching him, and he realized that he has to say something. "…I haven't thought about that." He thought it would be enough of an answer for them, however, the Charmed Ones just kept watching him, as if expecting a continuation of the finished sentence. "Well… That's it."

The Charmed Ones, however, didn't stop staring at him. On top of that, he could see that they were repressing laughter.

"You…" Phoebe tried to say, doing her best trying to not laugh, yet it was obvious that her lips were trembling, "…didn't think about how you're going to kill us?"

"I did think about how I'm going to kill you. The only problem is I didn't come up with anything," he said and then noticed how his greatest foes' eyes widened and mouths twisted in amusement. "I mean, I didn't come up with anything, you know, special. I was simply counting on killing you with a fireball, but when you said that thing about lots of demons trying to kill you with no success, I'm not sure it will work."

The Charmed Ones looked at each other. The Source just told them his original plan. If they could make him use this plan and not try and come up with a new one, they should be able to vanquish him pretty easily, and maybe finally for good.

"I think that's a good plan," Paige tried to delight him as her sisters nodded.

"No, it's not. You're only saying that to make me feel better," the Source said as he hung his head in shame and something resembling sadness.

"It is, actually, a good plan, I think it might work," Phoebe said.

"Too bad you won't use it, I bet you'd be worshiped in the underworld once the demons found out that you killed us," Piper added.

"You… …really think so?" the Source said with a hint of a smile. The sister simply nodded. "All right, I'll do it!" he yelped with an excited energy in his voice.

What the Charmed Ones did not expect was the Source of All Evil flaming out after this statement.

And what the Charmed Ones did not see was the Source of All Evil flaming back in, only this time behind the sisters.

The Source knew the most powerful one of the trio was the oldest one, Piper. It was only logical that he try to kill her first. However, he also knew that – out of the three sisters – only Paige could orb things, and could easily send his own fireball back at him, meaning he had to get rid of her before he could move onto her older sisters. He aimed at the youngest person in the room, and sent his fireball forward.

What the Source did not expect was Phoebe sensing the flying fireball due to her intuition.

"Paige, watch out!" Phoebe yelled as she ducked in order to make sure the fireball wasn't going to hit her.

Paige turned around just in time to shriek "Fireball!" and change its direction. She aimed at the Source, and he was not fast enough to move away, however, the fireball only struck his arm.

"Son of a–" the Source yelped.

"Language!" Piper scolded automatically.

"Enough of this scolding!" the Source started screaming at the top of his lungs. He was getting really irritated. "First, you blamed me for that stupid clock I was forced to destroy because of your stupid fight, then you kept interrupting me while I was making the stupid speech, then you said that stupid thing about me not having a plan, which was actually just your way of saying I'm stupid, and now you won't let me complain when I get hit by my own stupid fireball?! That's so–"

And again, Piper didn't let him finish. This time, though, she did something more than just interrupting him. Seeing him speaking with such passion, she leapt at the chance of trying to blow him up unnoticed. And it worked… …almost. He really didn't notice what she was about to do, however, she didn't have enough strength to blast him. All she did was make him fall down to the floor.

And Phoebe decided to take advantage of that. She levitated towards the Source and jumped on his chest, winding him. Paige then joined her sisters in the fight and orbed the nearest chair so it hit his head. The Source groaned and tried to stand up, but found himself unable to do so as Paige kept orbing more and more furniture to hurt him.

"No! Not the rest of the Grandfather clock!" Piper moaned as Paige decided to use this piece of broken furniture, unfortunately, she was too late, the clock was already lying on the Source's body, and Paige only shrugged.

When the Source realized he didn't have any chance of getting up while the furniture kept coming, he decided to take a different approach. Instead of standing up, he flamed out again. Once the three sisters saw the fire beneath the little pile of furniture, they turned around, somehow expecting the Source to appear behind them again. And they were right. The burning air in a man-like shape was a sign of the coming threat. The trio looked at each other. They couldn't just keep stopping him from killing them, they had to vanquish him once and for all. They had to make sure he wouldn't have a chance of coming back that time. There was only one remaining question – how to do it?

By then, the Source was already in the room. He created yet another fireball, only this time it was much bigger than the last time. He aimed at the sisters, hoping he might be able to get them all by one shot.

"Let's kill three witches with one fireball," he mumbled and shot at the trio.

"Fireball!" Paige called out and tried to orb the big ball of fire back, however, the Source used his telekinetic powers to make it fly in its original direction. All of the sudden, there were two people pointing at each other, with one huge sphere of fire (and little blue and white orbs) between them. The problem was that it was not moving in any direction, as the both beings' powers were of the approximate same strength. After few seconds of their little fight, the ball wasn't able to handle being squashed anymore and started sending small sparks of fire to random places.

"They can't keep doing this for long, we gotta help Paige somehow," Phoebe whispered to her older sister.

"But how?" Piper asked.

"Follow my lead," Phoebe said while seizing Paige's arm. Piper did as Phoebe said and also grabbed their youngest sister's arm. Suddenly, the Charmed Ones felt some kind of strange connection between them and Paige could feel the power inside her grow. The fireball jerked and quickly flew towards the surprised demon. Luckily for the witches, he didn't move as quickly as the ball of fire did, and it didn't take long and the sphere found a new home in its maker's chest. The Source wailed and fell down again.

"WHEE!" Paige yelled so loudly that her sisters jumped.

"What's the matter?" Piper asked, confused.

"It tickled me," Paige explained as she tried to shake the feeling off.

"Hurry, we don't have much time. Find the spell to call our ancestors in the Book, I will try and rewrite it so he couldn't come back again," Phoebe said while pointing at the Source of All Evil, who was knocked out, and ran to grab a paper and a pen. Paige rushed to the Book of Shadows and started flipping its pages.

When she was getting close to the end of the Book, Piper took the Book away from her and whined, "Oh, my goodness, Paige, you have got to be kidding me! You skipped the page we were looking for – again! And no, this is not a pun," she reassured her youngest sister as she saw her open mouth, ready to protest, "see? It's in the middle," she claimed triumphantly as she handed her the large book opened more or less in the middle, where the spell was written.

"All right, you two, break it off!" Phoebe demanded as she made her way to the Book, holding a piece of yellow paper and a black pen. She looked at the spell and started rewriting it in order to vanquish the Source of All Evil for good.

By that time, the Source had come around after being hit with his own fireball. He noticed the middle sister writing something on a paper, while the other two were standing next to her with their fingers crossed. He tried to stand up as silently as he could, however, the floorboard in the attic decided to do otherwise, and it squeaked loudly as the Source laid his foot on it. Piper and Paige looked at him, while Phoebe continued writing and tapping the pen on the paper, thinking.

"Today is so not my day," the Source whined as yet another thing didn't work out for him.

"I thought Leo fixed the floorboard," Piper said thoughtfully.

"Do you mind?" Paige demanded as she pointed at the Source who was trying to throw Phoebe at a wall telekinetically.

"Oh, right!" Piper realized what her sister meant and tried to blast him. The Source landed on the floor once again. Unfortunately, Piper was too late, and Phoebe was already lying on the ground. On top of everything else, she landed right in the middle of a mess made of ketchup mixed with a melted chocolate, red wine, and a melted lipstick. That just had to happen on the day she wore her new white blouse!

"Oh, no! What are we going to do now?" Paige asked, her eyes wide.

"I might have a solution for that," the demon said with an ominous smirk. He reached for his handbag which had appeared out of nowhere, and took out a laundry detergent. He handed it to the sisters and his smirk grew as he saw they were really about to use it. 'Silly witches,' he thought, 'they should know better than to use laundry detergents…'

"Ouch, my back!" Phoebe complained as the detergent ate up not only her clothes, but was eating up her skin too. Suddenly she was hit again, only this time with a thought. "Back! That's the rhyme I was looking for! Thank you!"

"Nooo!" the Source yelled heroically as he stood up. He heard Phoebe cheer up and thank him for sending her flying and giving her the detergent. It was not the reaction he'd expected, and yet it had happened. That day was so not his day…

"Okay, let's do it!" Phoebe said excitedly as her sisters leaned in to see the newly written spell. Before she did it, Piper managed to bring the unhappy demon to the ground again. The Charmed Ones were standing next to each other when they began chanting:

"Prudence, Penelope,
Patricia, Melinda,
Astrid, Helena,
Laura and Grace…"

The once-leader of the underworld tried to get back to his feet, and found himself unable to as he caught on fire as a result of the spell.

"Halliwell witches,
we're under attack,
so vanquish this evil,
and don't let him come back!"

The sisters stopped chanting and looked at the smoking man-like form, squeezing and crying out in pain. Poof! He exploded and disappeared, leaving only a scorch mark and the racing suit folded on the floor. The witches sighed in relief as they saw one of their greatest enemies die again.

"I wonder what that thing is made of," Paige uttered when she noticed the suit was still pure white, even though flames had covered it mere seconds ago.

"Do you realize what we just did?" Phoebe suddenly said in a shaky voice. "We vanquished The Stig! Who will drive all the cool cars from now on?"

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out," Piper said and started rubbing comforting circles on her younger sister's back, because she was visibly upset and saddened by the fact that they had destroyed her favorite guy on the TV show. Once her sister calmed down, she went to pick up The Stig's suit. She stared at it, thinking.

"What is it?" Paige questioned when she noticed Piper's gaze.

"I think I have an idea," Piper informed her pensively.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Phoebe asked as she approached her sister.

"Depends," Piper answered. "What are you thinking?"

"I'm going to pose as The Stig!" Phoebe smiled as she reached for the helmet lying on the table.

"No! Don't be ridiculous!" Piper said and took the helmet out of Phoebe's hands.

"You know what? If you don't let me do it, I'll quit. I will stop using my premonition power, because seriously, this power has let me down so many times already…" Phoebe whined and crossed her arms.

"Wait, what? Did you have a premonition where you saw yourself posing as The Stig?" Paige asked incredulously.

"Umm…" Phoebe was reluctant to answer, and seeing that, Piper understood that she did not have that kind of vision.

"Stop it, Phoebe. You're going to use your powers, and you are not going to pose as The Stig," Piper told her.

"Why not? Nobody knows what The Stig looks like, anyway," she protested.

"But you' re not a racing driver!" Piper explained. "We need to find one. And then you're going to rewrite the memory spell…"

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

The house was dark and quiet, as all its occupants were sleeping. It was shortly after 2 a.m. and the only thing sending light into the house was the big, beautiful Moon. Suddenly, more lights appeared. They were little blue and white orbs, and once they disappeared, three women were standing in the hall. They were all dressed in black, and one of them was carrying a white racing suit and a helmet.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" one of them asked softly.

"Yes, I googled it. It was in the first link, so it must be right," the woman who orbed them there answered.

"Remind me again," the one holding the suit questioned, "why can't I be The Stig?"

"Because you are not a racing driver, Phoebe, but this guy is, he's from England, and his career is suitable for being The Stig," her oldest sister explained.

"Let's go, but remember – we have to be really, really quiet," Paige whispered as she and her sisters made their way into the bedroom. The door creaked loudly as Paige opened it, and she shrugged and sent an apologetic look to her sisters. Fortunately, the people that were sleeping in the room didn't notice. Even in the dim light, the witches could see a man and a woman lying on the bed with their eyes closed, the woman snoring slightly. Phoebe silently put the suit and the helmet onto a dresser.

"Bye-bye, suit," Phoebe waved sadly.

"Hush, let's just say the spell," Piper scolded and held out a piece of paper. The Charmed Ones stood next to each other and started chanting quietly:

"Let the truth be forgotten,
the memories rewritten,
so he can pose as the TV driver
with a career much, much brighter."

The sleeping man glowed in a vivid white light, which quickly spread through the room and then disappeared. The trio sighed in relief as the spell didn't wake the couple up. They silently left the room, the bedroom's door creaking once again as Paige closed it, and then they vanished in the same little orbs they had used to get in.

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

The next morning, the couple woke up.

"Good morning, honey," the man said and smiled at his wife, who was lying next to him.

"Good morning, Ben," the woman replied sleepily as she got up and went to the bathroom.

Ben Collins got up, too, but something caught his eye – the folded white racing suit with a helmet on the dresser. 'That's right. I'm The Stig. And nobody knows but me, but,' he thought as he frowned, 'man, that sucks. I'd be so famous if people just knew that I'm The Stig… All right, that's it! No more hiding. Maybe I should write a book about myself…'

(_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_)

And that's the true story of why Ben Collins decided to write the autobiography.

The end

Author's note

Hey guys! This is my first fanfic written in English! Yay! I hope you enjoyed it!

Also, I have to note that all characters that appeared in here are fictional. Maybe you thought they were real, but they're not real. Everyone you consider real is, in fact, just a fictional cousin with the same name.

A huge thanks to my brother, and to my lovely beta hpenchantress, because they both helped me a lot with this story. Thank you again! :-)