Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.
Adrift In The Dark
Anna throws kernels of popcorn into the air catching them with her mouth, before pointing disdainfully at the television. "Do you believe this crap?"
Elsa turns to her sister. She should've chosen something else to watch, but sometimes she doesn't want to watch things that give her nightmares. With a tired sigh she listens to Anna enumerate the faults of everything that's happening onscreen.
"Love like that doesn't exist," Anna concludes with an emphatic shake of her head.
Elsa says nothing. She allows the sentiment to hang between them. She turns back to the screen; she is invested in seeing the completion of the story.
It's not until they're washing the dishes and cleaning up their mess that Elsa brings it up. "Do you really think that?"
"Think what?" Anna looks over at her, blue eyes measuring and slightly hesitant. But, the hesitation reveals that Anna knows exactly to what Elsa's referring.
Elsa knows her sister well enough to know now is not the time to call her on her bullshit. But, the blonde is tired of it all and her discretion leaves her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about, Anna."
Irritation flashes in the redhead's eyes and thin shoulders tense in stubbornness and petulance.
At any other time, Elsa would back off and let the matter rest unfinished. But, her heart is heavy with hurt and Anna only exacerbates the soul-deep ache. She puts down the sponge and studies the redhead. It's time to let her go.
"I'm talking about the things we do in the dark and never discuss afterwards. I'm talking about the way you forget I'm your sister when my face is between your thighs. I'm talking about the way you say my name when you come. I'm talking about the emotions we never talk about when were tucked together under covers after mind blowing sex."
Anna turns to face Elsa, her face unreadable but hard in a way the blonde has never seen before.
"I'm talking about how I love you." Elsa takes a breath and pushes away the pain. "And, how you don't love me."
"Of course I love you," Anna snaps, anger flaring.
Elsa's heart rate spikes before realization makes it sink down heavily. Her face cracks in a painful smile. "But, you're not in love with me."
Anna has no reply for that. Red brows knit together in consternation.
Elsa's throat tightens and her eyes burn. She wasn't expecting a rebuttal, but her hope being disappointed leaves her chest stinging with physical pain. "You deserve to find someone who can change your mind about love." Elsa's voice is quiet and strained; the words cost her.
"All this over a stupid movie?" Anna sounds a little desperate, like she somehow understands the far reaching implications of Elsa's words.
"No, Anna," Elsa closes the few feet between them. She kisses her sister's freckled forehead gently. And because she loves and is in love with Anna, she releases her from any non-familial attachments she may have to her. "It's because I'm only a warm body to you. And, while I love you enough allow that my whole life, I can't rob you of someone who will be able to touch more than your body."
Elsa steps back and turns away. Anna doesn't stop her.
That night marks the first time Elsa locks the door to her room. She ignores the shaking of the knob. She ignores the pointed silence that follows. And, she ignores the tears staining her pillow as she curses her heart for letting her love Anna from the start.