JJ awoke soaked with sweat. Beth already knew he had a terrible time sleeping; his eyes didn't sparkle and they were slightly swollen and black. Now it was evident to her why he was so exhausted. Nightmares. JJ's breath was coming in short shallow gasps. "You're fine, you just had a nightmare."

Beth softly caressed JJ's skin, that angry red scar kept it fresh in her mind how close she was to losing him, more than once. "Do you have them often?" She knew the answer, but here, in the quiet of Pete's apartment, she might be able to get him to open up.

JJ laid down on the pillow, trying to catch his breath. His lungs burned, as if he was still in Vietnam breathing in the fire from the Napalm. That stuff could choke the life out of you. JJ felt Beth's soft hands on his hot skin, meant to soothe and calm, as if she was stroking their son's tiny back when he cried. It felt so good to wake from the horror in her arms. JJ wanted to tell her everything that happened, to get all of that out of his mind and heart. He could tell Beth everything but what would she think of him? If she knew what he had done, could she still love him? Was he still worthy of her love?

"Yeah," JJ grunted, finally answering after almost five minutes of silence. "Yeah, almost...I uh...sometimes it's my old squad in the tunnel near Da Nang, other times it's shooting this kid...he was wearing a bomb, walked right into our camp...Sometimes it's just cause of the pain."

That got Beth's attention. She hated the thought of JJ in pain. She knew that even walking had to be painful with his knee so badly injured, but JJ was brave, he never uttered a word about the pain until now. As for the war, Beth knew JJ saw and did some terrible things, but she understood as best as anyone could that he had to do what was necessary to stay alive. "Your leg?"

JJ nodded again, "My side burns sometimes, but my leg it throbs up into my back. When it wakes me up I think maybe I deserve it you know? Maybe that is my payback for the things I had to do. I don't know, Beth. I..."

Beth moved over JJ and held him to her chest. "JJ, you did what you had to do. You knew I needed you, that Johnny needed you. Nothing you did had any wrong in it. Don't punish yourself for it, JJ. I'm here and I love you so much. Nothing will change that, JJ. Nothing."

JJ buried his face in Beth's chest inhaling her scent. "Can I do anything for you?" she asked softly. "Rub your back? Get a pillow for your leg?"

JJ didn't want to complain but her hands would feel nice on his aching back. "My back," he conceded and soon felt the relief of her gentle hands on his sore muscles.

"You need to talk to me about this JJ," Beth encouraged. "You need to talk to me or someone about it because if you don't it will cause you more hurt. Why don't you start with whatever you want to and I'll just listen. I won't judge you, I promise."

JJ moaned as Beth massaged his aching muscles. He didn't want to revisit those memories now, for now he just wanted the peace of this moment with the woman he loved. "I can't now," JJ replied. "I know you won't think less or make fun or anything but I just can't. Please understand."

Beth kissed JJ's sweaty forehead, "I understand, it's all right. Why don't you shut your eyes and try to sleep. I'll be here for whatever dreams may come."

JJ stretched and settled into the pillows. Eventually he would tell Beth everything, eventually he would share the burdens of his soul with the same woman that shared his bed and his child, but not tonight. Tonight, he would finally sleep, safe in the arms of love.