Hello! So I re-watched a bunch of episodes from Season 1 yesterday and because I love Sabine so much, I was inspired to write this. Her past and her character really intrigue me. This might be kind of confusing and I realize that I really don't understand much about Manalorian culture so I could be 100% off in this (sorry)...but I hope you enjoy!
Also I do not own Star Wars Rebels or any of its characters.
Hera was everything her mother wasn't.
She remembered the first time Hera had looked at her work. Hera complimented her. She had asked Sabine if she could see more.
It was the complete opposite reaction her mother had...
"Mom! Mom! Look!" Sabine ran in holding the brightly colored paper in front of her. She stopped in front of the older woman and smiled, excited to share her work.
"Not now Sabine, Mommy's busy."
The other Mandalorians around the table all reacted differently. Some scoffed, while others glared. A few laughed and one smiled down at the little girl.
"But Mom, I-I drew it for you!" Sabine tried again, anxiously glancing at the people glaring down at her.
"I said, not now! Go!"
Sabine figured she should have been used to her mother's coldness, but still she let out a small gasp. Hanging her head,she slowly walked away, but not before standing on her tip-toes to slide her picture on the edge of the table.
Sabine flattened herself against the wall and held her breath, trying to hear what her mother's reaction to her drawing would be.
"You should be gentler with her. She only wants your approval." Sabine did not recognize who's voice that was.
"Children cannot win a war." Sabine did recognize her mother's voice immediately. She refused to believe that she recognized the sound of paper being crumpled.
"What's that?"
Sabine instinctively clutched her sketchbook to her chest.
"Nothing."
"Do you draw?"Hera asked gently, making no move to look at the sketchbook, but showing genuine curiosity.
"A little." Sabine admitted. That was a big lie. She drew a lot, but she was cautious. Who could blame her.
"My mother used to draw, and though I was never any good at it, I do have an appreciation for art. May I?" Hera held out her hands.
Sabine hesitantly passed over her sketch book, hoping for her new ally would indeed be a fellow art lover.
Hera's eyes widened when she saw what Sabine had created.
"It's the Mandalorian symbol." Sabine explained.
"I recognized it, it's just that, I've never seen it like this, with so many colors. I knew you were artistic from your armor but this, this is amazing!"Hera commented. Sabine found her cheeks heating up. She couldn't remember the last time she received a such a sincere compliment. Her mother always ignored her, and Ketsu would always just smile at Sabine affectionately saying "Oh little sister. You're creativity is refreshing." But Ketsu hadn't really cared, not the way Hera seemed to.
"Do you have any more?" Hera asked, snapping Sabine out of her thoughts.
"No. Not yet. It's a new sketch book. I just bought it today." Sabine admitted taking the sketch book back from the Twi'liek. She fondly remembered meeting back up with Kanan in the market after taking her own little excursion to find it. Kanan had asked her what she bought and she sassily responded with "That's none of your business, ponytail."
Sabine liked to mess with Kanan. He kind of reminded her of her father, but she was not about to let him know that.
"Well, when you have more, show me. You've got real talent Sabine." The Twi'liek put a hand on the teen's shoulder before making her way back to the cockpit.
"I will..." Sabine said out loud even though Hera was out of hearing distance.
Hera was everything her mother wasn't.
She encouraged Sabine's artistic abilities. Hera let Sabine know that she understood. Unlike her mother...
"Mom?" Sabine called knocking on her mother's door gently.
"Come in Sabine."
Her mother sounded calm and Sabine knew she had chosen the right time.
"What is it?"
Her mother was working, hunched over something on her desk. So Sabine waited until her mother looked down at her to speak. Sabine had begun to notice that her mother always manipulated situations so she could look down at her daughter.
"May I paint my room?" She blurted before she could think. She had planned a presentation highlighting the reasons why this was a positive idea, and had even written a backup speech to prove her point if needed. But there she went, blurting it out like the child she wished she wasn't and ruining her chances.
Her mother only blinked. "What? Why on earth would you want to do that?"
Sabine was shocked her mother had not shut her down immediately. "To express myself. To release my creativity!" Sabine was about to go on but her mother held up a hand.
"What did your father say?"
Sabine recalled the conversation she had with her father two days ago, before he left with The Death Watch again. He had instantly brightened, exclaiming it was a wonderful idea and that he couldn't wait to see his Bean's new room when he returned. If he returned...
Her father was always out fighting, rarely ever home, and because of that he did everything he could to make his daughter feel loved, because he knew she never received any when he was gone.
"He gave me his permission." Sabine said excitedly. Her mother just turned back to her previous work. Sabine froze. "So-may I?"
Her mother sighed and spoke without turning back to the young girl. "Does it involve or disrupt me in any way?"
Sabine thought for a moment before answering. "Not at all."
"Then you are free to do what you wish."
Sabine brightened. "Really?"
"If I didn't mean it would I have said it?"
"Oh! Thank you Mother! Thank you!" She cried nearly jumping up and down before running out of the room.
"You're going to have the buy the paints yourself!" Her mother called after her.
"I know! I will! Thank you!" Came her daughter's reply.
Her mother shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever understand that child..." She murmured.
After 30 minutes of pacing, preparing and planning Sabine had finally worked up the courage to do it.
"Hera?" She called walking into the common room.
Hera was sitting on the wooden chair in the corner, reading from a data pad. She looked up at the sound of Sabine's voice and smiled.
"I thought you went to bed?" The Twi'lek asked, not even trying to hide the motherly concern behind her words.
"I have to ask you something." Sabine admitted nervously. Hera sensed the teen's anxiety and smiled reassuringly.
"Okay, ask away." Hera placed the data pad aside, showing Sabine that she had the Twi'lek's full attention.
That gesture made Sabine's confidence grow.
"I was wondering if I could paint my room...?"
Hera smiled even wider. "Well, I don't see why not."
"Are you sure? I mean it's your ship and-" Sabine had not expected her to say yes so quickly.
"It may be my ship, but it's your room. And you're apart of the crew." Hera said standing up and putting a hand on Sabine's arm. "I can't wait to see it when you're done. Just let me know if you need any paints."
"Thank you Hera." Sabine said earnestly. "Thank you so much."
Hera was everything her Mother wasn't.
Hera wanted her. Hera valued her. And Hera saw worth in Sabine without making her have to prove it. It shocked Sabine. Because Mandalorians valued strength and honor and each Mando had to prove themselves. Like how Sabine had to prove herself to her mother...
Her mother had said it was good news. Apparently, Sabine and her mother had different beliefs on what good news actually was.
Her mother had enlisted her in the Imperial Academy.
"You've become of age. It's time for you to learn how to fight, how to apply the skills and talents you've been born with." Her mother said helping fit all of her possessions into the suitcase.
"I don't want to go..." Sabine muttered dejectedly.
Her mother instantly turned on her, gripping her arms tightly. "You want to make me proud don't you?" Sabine paled. Her Mother had never gazed so intently at her before. It made her uncomfortable. "Don't you?!" Her mother repeated.
"Yes! Yes, I do!" Sabine said quickly, nodding her head furiously. She did. With everything she had in her she wanted to make her mother proud. And she would do anything to do so.
"Then go and serve your Empire." Her mother ordered.
And Sabine did. She learned. She worked harder than any other student in the Academy. Because she had a goal. She was a Mandalorian. She was there to earn her honor, to gain her strength. And her hard work paid off.
After five years she graduated from Level Four and became the first person of her age to become a Level Five Academy Student.
Before she started training in the Level Five coursed, she was granted a day to go home. Home.
Sabine had never been so nervous in her life.
She had made bombs, learned how to operate almost any type of weapon, she could speak fifteen different languages, but she couldn't open her own front door.
And she didn't have to. Her mother and father came rushing out. Her father scooped her up and spun her around. Her mother came over the instant her feet were on the ground and hugged her. Her mother had never hugged her before.
But she was hugging her now. And she kept exclaiming "Level Five! Level Five, Sabine!" Over and over again.
Way sooner than Sabine would have wanted, her mother pulled away, but kept her hands on Sabine's shoulders. "We're so proud of you." Her mother whispered, keeping eye contact with her daughter.
Sabine gasped as tears started to fill in her eyes. Her mother pulled her in again and Sabine relished in the embrace. Her father soon joined in and for a while the three of them stood, holding each other. They only separated because her father had stated they had a surprise for her. He slipped a Mandolorian Helmet into her hands. Sabine's eyes widened.
"It's time to forge your armor, Sabine." Her mother smiled.
Sabine had never been so happy. It was the best day of her life.
But then everything changed.
The next time she came home was less pleasant.
It was the middle of the night, Sabine was breathless from running.
She stopped in front of the door and only hesitated for a second before knocking.
A few minutes later her father opened the door in his bed clothes.
"Sabine? What are you doing here?"
She pushed past him and ignored his question.
"Sabine? The Academy didn't tell us you were visiting..." Her mother said coming into the light.
"I had to get away! I couldn't take it anymore." Sabine admitted looking pleadingly at her mother.
"What's going on Bean? Are you okay?" Her father asked stepping in front of her.
"Why are you here Sabine?" Her mother demanded. Her tone was the complete opposite of her father's. Her father sounded worried, her mother was suspicious.
"I can't do what they want me to do. I'm sorry." Sabine hung her head.
"What are you talking about?" Her father questioned.
"She ran away." Her mother said flatly. "Go back before they realize you're gone."
"No, Mother. I'm sorry. I can't." Sabine declared boldly.
She had never stood up to her Mother before now.
Her mother's eyebrows shot up in fury.
"You can't?!" She repeated incredulously.
"Why? Why can't you go back?" Her father asked curiously trying his best to maintain calm.
"I can't ask questions. I'm forced to do things without knowing! I can't do something without knowing why I'm doing it! Without knowing the effect that it has! I've been following them blindly for five years because I wanted to please you! That's all I ever wanted! I never cared about the Empire! I just wanted your approval! And I'm not sorry for this! I'm not sorry for the choice that I made! It's my life! And from now on I'm not going to let you make my decisions for me! I'm not going back. I'm never going back to the blasted place ever again."
Sabine had never been so sure of anything before now.
"You insolent child! How dare you!" Her mother spat, but Sabine did not even flinch. "You go back right now or I'm disowning you."
Sabine's eyes widened just as her father screamed her mother's name.
"You can't do that! This is not just an act of teenage defiance! She's afraid!" Her father protested.
"I'm not afraid." Sabine argued.
"She's a coward! She's weak!" Her mother screamed. The words hit Sabine like poison.
"I am not weak!" Sabine yelled. She was crying now. She could not remember the last time she cried. It sure made her look like a fool. Crying as she declared she was not weak.
Her mother turned on her.
"Either go back...or get out." Her mother's voice was dangerously low and it made Sabine cry even harder.
"No! Sabine! Don't go anywhere! We'll get this worked out." He assured. But he had lost control of the situation a long time ago. Sabine sprinted past her mother and father who had begun arguing again and she drowned their screams out. She ran into her room, it was still painted the way she left it, and she grabbed her armor. It was a little dusty from just sitting around but just like her room still painted like Sabine had left it. She changed quick. She stole her family's emergency credits from their vault after.
She hesitated for a moment in front of the window. Her parents were still arguing, and Sabine knew it could be hours before they stopped, before they even realized she was gone.
She was ruining her life by doing this, but at the same time, her life was finally beginning.
She crawled out the window and into freedom and left her honor with her mother, far far behind her.
Sabine realized she had never actually said goodbye.
It was as she stood in front of the Lasat, Human, and Twi'lek who had all helped in nursing her back to health, who had shown her kindness she had never deserved to receive, that she realized she had never had to say goodbye before.
She ran away from her parents without a goodbye. Ketsu abandoned her without a goodbye.
"Do you have everything?" Hera asked looking her up and down as if accessing one more time whether or not she was well enough to be leaving.
Sabine looked down at her armor, almost completely faded now, the explosion that almost killed her had also completely ruined her paint job. But at least she still had it and her holster with her two blasters. That was all. Everything that had been on her when the bomb exploded was all she had now.
She nodded.
"Okay. Then this is goodbye." Hera stated almost sadly.
"Take care of yourself." Kanan nodded at her.
"Right back at you, ponytail." Sabine remarked. Her lips twitched when Kanan rolled his eyes at her nickname for him.
She looked out at the open ramp behind her, then back to the crew.
"Thank you again. For everything." She was stalling now. Because she didn't want to be on her own again. She didn't want to be alone.
"Don't mention it." Zeb said gruffly, but there was warmth behind his words.
"We were happy to help." Hera added.
There was an awkward silence then. Sabine thought Hera wanted to hug her, but was being held back by something between them. So Sabine held back a sigh and turned away.
She was about halfway down the ramp when she froze. It was freezing outside. And dark. And there was a bar a few miles away. She could hear the sound of the drunkards even from where she stood. She turned back to them.
"I know you don't now me very well, but I studied for five years at the Imperial Academy. I'm far from Imperial though! I know who you guys are and what you guys do. And I want to do it too. I want to help others like you helped me." They all looked equally shocked.
Of course. What was she thinking? She had to prove herself. To show them she was strong enough to join them.
"Like I said, I studied five years at the Academy! I was top of my class, and I even made it to Level Five. I can speak fifteen different languages. I know just about everything there is to mechanics. I can fly almost any ship. I'm not bad with these blasters, and if you give me the right equipment I can make-"
Hera cut off her desperate rambling."Sabine! You don't have anything to prove! We know you're skilled and we could use your help. In fact, we even debated about asking you to join our cause. But eventually decided we would leave that up to you." Hera admitted, sharing a glance with Kanan.
"What? You-really?" Sabine stuttered.
Hera smiled. "If you want to, we would love for you to become Specter 5." Hera offered holding out her hand.
Sabine blinked.
Sabine had never been given a choice before. Her mother forced her to go to the Academy. With Ketsu, sure Ketsu had offered, but Sabine didn't have any other choice. She was too young to take care of herself and needed help.
But now, she could walk away and survive on her own. She just didn't want to.
She stepped forward and firmly shook Hera's hand.
"Welcome to the family, Sabine."
Sabine knew Hera was teasing, but she held tight to that word. Family.
She smiled at the gruff Lasat, who smiled back. And quickly glanced at Kanan who gave her a proud nod. And then back the the Twi'liek in front of her, who was looking at her warmly. Warmer than anyone had ever looked at Sabine in her life.
Hera was everything her mother wasn't.
Hera loved her like family.