A / N: This fanfic is the result of a research that I did for nearly two months at my workplace. After meeting people with schizophrenia with my own two eyes, I felt I had to write this fanfic, because in my country, there are still many people who despise schizophrenia sufferers and see them as a 'madmen' or even 'attention seekers'.
And this story is also dedicated to the nice people who sent various nice messages, when I was feeling so down. Sorry I can't reply to all those messages one by one, I just can say thanks because with reading all your messages, it encouraged me and gave me the spirit to write again.
I hope you will enjoy this story.
Big shoutout and big thanks to my lovely friend JordanPhoenix for being my proofreader and fix my grammatical error. Huuuugssss :D
When she'd accepted his proposal and married Miles Edgeworth, Kay Faraday had felt she was the luckiest woman in the world, living in a fairy tale. Why not? Miles Edgeworth, the Chief Prosecutor, a very handsome and wealthy man, with thousands of female fans, had choosen her among countless women who want to be his wife. She could not hold back the tears of joy when Edgeworth had kneeled in front of her, and asked, "will you marry me?" in his distinctive deep voice, while simultaneously making his fan girls cry heartbroken tears.
Their marriage was very happy and practically perfect. Just one year after their marriage, Edgeworth and Kay had cute twin boys. They named their children Bryan and Gregory. Besides being very cute, the boys were also very clever and intelligent. Almost everyone envied the harmony in their marriage. Never once did the neighbors hear Mr and Mrs. Edgeworth fight with each other, or scold their children.
Until one day, an illness that attacked Edgeworth changed their perfect life, 180 degrees, and into a miserable life, full of temptation.
-Flash Forward-
Edgeworth and his family took a walk to the amusement park, to celebrate his wedding with Kay 12th anniversary. They were having fun with their kids, laughing happily, eat ice cream, hot dogs, and barbeque. Kay did not cease to thank God for giving her a happy and perfect little family. For a moment, everything seemed to be fine, until Kay realized there was something wrong with her husband.
Edgeworth raised his eyebrows almost all the time, scratched his nose incessantly, and was walking on tiptoe.
"Why do you walk on tiptoe like that, Miles?"
"I'm walking tiptoed?" Edgeworth himself looks confused. "You are mistaken, Kay. I walking normally, not walking on tiptoe. See." Edgeworth paced back and forth in front of Kay. Kay frowned. How could Edgeworth did not realize he was walking on tiptoe like that?
"Miles, are you feeling tired?"
"Uh, yes. I'm so sleepy, actually, but Bryan and Gregory still seem to want to have fun longer, so…"
Oh, so that was the cause. He's just very sleepy. It made Kay relieved. She then went to Bryan and Gregory, who were still busy playing boom-boom car.
"Come on, Bryan, Gregory. We're going home. Daddy's very tired and sleepy. "
-Flash Forward-
Edgeworth and Kay had just finished their dinner. Gregory and Bryan had gone to bed already.
"Let me wash the plate, honey."
Kay smiled. "No, Miles. I'm your wife, it's my duty to do household chores…" Edgeworth cut her by giving a small kiss on the lips.
"I insist."
"Well ... all right, then. If you insist."
Edgeworth took their plates, and began to wash them. When he finished washing the dishes, he approached Kay again. Her forehead wrinkled. She saw him wrap both of his hands with a napkin.
"Miles, was there a plate which broke when you washed it? Why did you wrap your hands with a napkin like that? Are your hands hurt?"
"No. I just wanted to make my hands remain hygienic."
"Hygienic?" Kay asked, puzzled. "What do you mean, Miles?"
"Well, the leftovers from that food may contains a germ which can contaminate my hands, right?" Kay laughed and pinched Edgeworth's cheeks with exasperation.
"You're like a little boy."
Edgeworth smiled.
He still looked fine, and Kay did not feel any suspicion.
-Flash Forward-
Kay knocked on Edgeworth's study door.
"Come in."
"Here, honey, tea for you. " Kay's words were interrupted when she saw her husband standing in front of his study room window, with his arms folded. Kay swallowed. Edgeworth really frightened her lately. Five hours ago, when she'd come into his study room, he'd stood in that position. And five hours later, he still did not change his standing position! Or maybe he had time to sit down while Kay made the tea?
"Thank you, honey. Put it on the table."
"You've remained standing like that for 5 hours, Miles?"
"Mhmm-hmm." Edgeworth nodded.
"Uh, honey, you don't feel tired? Standing in the same position for 5 long hours like that?"
"Certainly not. 5 hours equal to 5 minutes, isn't it? That means I stood like this only in a few minutes."
"Miles?" Kay was at a loss for words. She wanted to show her concern, but for some reason, she couldn't. And she finally convinced herself that her husband was fine, he was probably just stressed with his work pressure as Chief Prosecutor.
She kissed Edgeworth's lips, and stepped out.
There's nothing wrong with Miles. Miles is fine. He is very fine.
That's what she believed, and she wanted to believe, even though the reality was otherwise.
-Flash Forward-
Edgeworth woke up early in the morning. Frantically, he threw the blanket, and looked back at the clock. It's 11:00 ! He'd be late to court!
Frantically, he opened the wardrobe and started to get dressed. As he combed his hair, he heard Kay's sleepy voice.
"Where are you going , Miles?"
"To Tony Stark's trial, of course! It's already 11! I'm an hour late!"
Kay's brow furrowed. "Miles ... honey? What are you talking about? Tony Stark's trial? Tony Stark is a fictional character from the Marvel comic..."
Edgeworth turned around. "Fictional character? No, I remember someone told me to take Tony Stark's case, he said I must prosecute him, because if I managed to put him in prison, he will give us a luxurious private island, the island is located in Antarctica ..."
"Miles, what are you babbling about? There is no man named Tony Stark, and no cases involving Tony Stark!"
Kay concerned grew when she saw the clothes that Edgeworth wore.
"Miles ... why are you wearing a Bayern Munich soccer jersey with tight jeans like that?"
"So what? I used to wear these clothes when I'm in court. "
Kay's concern now turns to cringe. For this latest weeks, Edgeworth's behavior had been strange… what was' going on with him?
-Flash Forward-
"You're useless, Miles Edgeworth. You had an innocent man sentenced to death. This is all your fault. Your fault. You're a murderer. Murderer! You're rubbish. You got Joe Darke executed, even though he did not kill Neil Marshall. Why are you still in this world, Miles Edgeworth?"
"But I didn't…. I didn't know the evidence was fake! I just used it! I didn't do anything wrong! It's not my fault! I'm innocent! I'm not guilty!"
"You're still guilty, Miles Edgeworth. You can find out beforehand about the authenticity of the evidence. Why didn't you do it? Why? And now you live happily with your wife and children? If you live longer, many more innocent people will be sentenced to death because of you. Why don't you take a gun and shoot yourself in the head? The world is better off without you, Miles Edgeworth."
He wanted to not believe what he was hearing. Is that true? The world is better off without him? That seemed to be true. He had gotten Joe Darke sentenced to death for a crime he did not commit. What if all the defendants who had been prosecuted by him, and he had thrown into prison, were actually innocent?
I don't deserve to be in this world. That voice was right.
He walked slowly, his eyes unfocused, and undirected. He kept walking, wanting to find a gun. It seemed he'd never reach his destination. The voice that keep whispering in his head led him into a labyrinth. He looked around, feeling so scared. Where am I? Why am I suddenly stuck in this labyrinth? Am I lost? Where did I must go? He kept asking inwardly, until finally a pair of hands were gently holding his waist.
"Miles, honey? Are you okay?"
Edgeworth turned around and saw Kay, who looked very worried. He blinked slowly, and suddenly the labyrinth in front of him disappeared, and he was in his house.
"Who is speaking? Where's that labyrinth? Did you make the labyrinth go away, Kay?"
"No one spoke, Miles. Labyrinth? What are you talking about?"
"Someone talked about Joe Darke and brought me into a labyrinth," said Edgeworth.
Kay's brow furrowed, and stared deeply at her beloved husband. Edgeworth's face looked flat, but filled with a cold sweat. Oh, maybe he just had a bad dream. He looks healthy and fine.
"I think ... you're just having a bad dream, Miles. Come on, honey, we'll go back to bed, "she whispered as she took his hands and guided him walked back to their room. He followed her, very sure he's not having a nightmare because the voice sounded very real.
But, if Kay can't hear the voice, it's certainly nothing more than a nightmare, isn't it?
Feeling slightly relieved, Edgeworth closed his eyes and managed to sleep soundly.
-Flash Forward-
Edgeworth, Kay, and their two sons gathered in the television room. The four of them watched The Smurfs and My Little Pony Tail cartoons, laughing together, when suddenly Edgeworth heard strange voices again.
"You killed your father, Miles Edgeworth. Can you imagine? When you were only 9 year old, you became a murderer and killed your own father. Then you become a prosecutor when you grew up? You are a disgusting human being and a hypocrite, Miles Edgeworth. You become a prosecutor to catch criminals? You're really funny! While you're a criminal yourself!"
"I did not kill my father! Von Karma killed my dad!"
"How can you be so sure?"
"Wright proved it in the court! With that evidence! That bullet!"
"How can you be sure that evidence isn't fake? Remember, your friend was even declared guilty of falsifying evidence, wasn't he? Until he lost his attorney badge? Am I right?"
"I did not kill my father!"
"Just kill yourself, Miles Edgeworth. You're a disgusting human being and you're useless! Useless! Do it now! Suicide! Kill yourself!"
"Okaaay! Okaaaayyyy! I'm going to kill myself! I'll take the knife! But stop bothering me!"
Edgeworth covered his ears with his hands, closed his eyes and sobbed, screaming loudly. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Kay and their two sons looking at him worriedly.
"Where is he?" asked Edgeworth.
"Who is 'he', Miles?"
"That man! Who constantly told me I was a killer!"
"M-miles," Kay stammered, "There are only four of us in the TV room. You, me, Bryan, and Gregory. Look, no one else is here, right?" She stroked Edgeworth's cheeks gently. He looked around. Kay was right. There was no one else in the TV room. Just four of them. Then, who's voice was that? Why was it only him who could hear that voice? Was this house haunted?
Edgeworth heaved a deep breath, and nodded slowly.
"Daddy, you're okay, aren't you?" asked Bryan and Gregory simultaneously. "Daddy, why did you suddenly burst into tears and shout loudly like that? We thought you were possessed, Daddy... "
"Daddy seems just too tired because of his job," said Kay. "It's time to sleep, boys. Now, go into your room, and do not forget to turn off the lights."
"Okay. Good night, Mommy, Daddy, "said Bryan and Gregory while giving a good night kiss on Kay's cheeks. As Gregory and Bryan were about to kiss Edgeworth's cheek goodnight as well, suddenly, his children's faces turned into Von Karma and Blaise Debeste's faces. Edgeworth felt very shocked. He then swung his arms, and slapped both of his children's face, hard. And repeatedly.
"MILES!" shouted Kay. "What the hell are you doing?! Why are you suddenly slapping our children?!"
"They're not my children! They're Von Karma and Blaise Debeste!"
"Miles! What are you talking about? Von Karma and Mr. Blaise were executed years ago! Take a good look!" said Kay again. She then held Edgeworth's head and forcibly directing his head towards Bryan and Gregory, who were glued in place.
Again, Kay was right. Von Karma and Blaise Debeste's faces, which had appeared before him earlier, were not there. It was really his children.
Is he hallucinating?
"Daddy, you really scared us."
"I…. I… Please forgive Daddy. Good night, Bryan, Gregory."
"Good night, Daddy. We love you."
Kay escorted Bryan and Gregory to their rooms, and decided tomorrow she must bring Edgeworth to a doctor. Her husband isn't fine. There is something wrong with him. And she must know why.
-Flash Forward-
Schizophrenia. It turns out that's the verdict the doctor gave to Edgeworth. Kay had only heard of the disease once, without knowing at all what exactly it was. She, just knew the disease was some sort of a 'psychiatric disorder'. Some said that schizophrenia is a disease where the sufferer can not distinguish between their fantasy and reality. The doctor also said that high patience was needed to deal with schizophrenia sufferers. He also warned Kay that Edgeworth could get mad and rage of a sudden. He then gave her various kinds of pills, sedatives, and wrote on a paper about what she'd need to do if Edgeworth had a recurrence.
Kay tried to accept all of this. Accept that her beloved handsome, hardworking, and very kind husband was, having psychiatric disorders. She had to be strong for Edgeworth, and especially for their children. Although the beautiful fairy tale life she had before, was turning into hell.
-Flash Forward-
People in his office and his subordinates began to worry about the change in his attitude and Edgeworth's behavior, as he very easily got mad lately. Almost every day, he made his subordinates tremble with fear, and sometimes, he made brought some to tears with spit out swearing and harsh words. But, no more than 10 minutes later, he returned to being kind-and-friendly-to-his-subordinates Miles Edgeworth. The employees started to whisper and began talking behind his back. They gossiped that the Chief Prosecutor had gone insane. Some of them also thought his marriage with Kay was actually unhappy, and his behavior was the cause from that.
Most people sympathized with him and understand that he was sick. Half of the others thought, thought he was' just an attention whore.
Sometimes, he wore strange clothes when he went to the office. Like his pink Steel Samurai T-Shirt and maroon pajama pants. Sometimes, he didn't know how to wear his cravat or tie his shoelaces properly. Sometimes, his subordinates heard he sang various children's songs in his office.
Sometimes, he could hear people talking behind him clearly, as if they spoke in his head, even though actually they talked on the office ground floor. Sometimes, he heard a voice in his head describing what he was doing with details. If he was eating or drinking tea, the voice would whisper, said he was eating bacon and Earl Grey tea, complete with amount of peppers, sauce, or sugar that he used.
He didn't know who that voice belonged to. What he wanted, was the voice to stop bothering him and whispering in his ear. He ordered his subordinates to shoo the man who always bothered him, and followed him wherever he went. And of course, his subordinates were very confused because they never saw any male figure who followed their boss.
If the voice reappeared and whispered something in his head, Edgeworth would shout, scolding his subordinate, yelling at them about how foolish they are, because they couldn't even make one man stop bothering him. He punched his office wall, and worst of all, he banged his head into the office wall. Luckily, Detective Gumshoe heard the noise from his office and managed to make him stop in time.
-Flash Forward-
The employees at the Prosecutor's Office and his subordinates began to feel disturbed by Edgeworth's attitude, which was always anger and rage without reason or cause, or slamming his cup of tea, case files, as well as books in his office. They suggested Kay to bring Edgeworth into an asylum, or tie him in the bed to prevent him from harming anyone.
Kay could only be silent and try to accept fate while crying every day. Day by day, she very rarely smiled. Bryan and Gregory preferred to spend their time at school or stay at their friend's house because they couldn't bear to always hear their daddy yelling and swearing at their mom every day.
Kay did not have the heart to bring Edgeworth to an asylum. No. Miles is sick.He's suffering schizophrenia and he's not crazy!He is not crazy! Kay constantly reassured herself.
-Flash Forward-
Edgeworth had just returned from work. He was very hungry and tired. He put his briefcase on the couch in the living room, and rushed off to the kitchen. In the kitchen, Kay was washing stacked up plates. Edgeworth approached her, and kissed Kay's lips gently.
"What are you cooking today, honey? I am very hungry."
"Uh ... I have not cooked anything, Miles. Earlier I watched Bryan and Gregory's football match, and after I finished watching their match, I was busy cleaning the house .. You're hungry? What food do you want me to cook for you?"
"So, I work hard like a dog, for almost 24 hours, and my wife won't even prepare food for me?!" Edgeworth shouted loudly, making Kay jump. He then unloaded the kitchen cupboards, pulling out plates and glasses, and throwing the dishes to the floor.
"Empty! There's no food! There aren't even eggs! Where's my tea? Everything is empty! Empty! Empty!" Edgeworth shouted repeatedly as he kept slamming plates and glasses to the floor. "Ungrateful, lazy wife, I work hard to support you, but you even don't want to cook for me! Bitch! Son of a bitch! Slut! Slut! Slut! Whore! Whore! Whore!"
Kay could only cry in silence hearing her husband swearing at her repeatedly and non-stop like that. She knew he was totally unaware when he spit out those curse words to her, but it still couldn't make her grief diminished. With shaking hands, she took a bottle of Edgeworth's tranquilizers medicine and handed him the bottle.
"I'm sorry, Miles. Really. Sorry I haven't cooked anything for you yet, but I promise I'll cook for you after you take this medication. To make you calm first. Okay, Miles?"
Edgeworth glared to Kay, but he accepted the bottle and swallowed the medicine. His body was now relaxed again and his face wasn't filled with anger again. He immediately forgets that just a few minutes ago, he'd scolded his wife with very cruel words.
"Wait, okay Miles? I will cook your favorite salmon steak and I'll make you sweet tea. I'm sorry if it takes long for me to cook, please don't get mad, okay?"
Edgeworth raised his eyebrows. "Really, Kay. How could I be angry just because you cook too long? Don't worry, I'll wait."
Kay smiled weakly, and started cooking. When finished, she called Bryan and Gregory to come eat with them. The four of them ate in peace. Edgeworth and Kay listened to Gregory and Bryan's chatter about their experiences at school today.
"Today I got an A in math, Mommy, Daddy," said Bryan.
"And I got an A + for painting lessons." Gregory added.
"Good, both of you are indeed Mommy and Daddy's son. Both of you are so smart just like us!" Kay grinned, and Edgeworth smirked. "What did you paint for the painting lesson, Gregory?" Kay asked proudly.
"I painted the four of us, Mommy! Daddy, Me, and Bryan. I also wrote 'Happy Family, Always Together Forever' under my painting, Mommy." Gregory replied, as he held up his fork.
Edgeworth squinted, and he saw Gregory had a gun in his left hand, which was actually the boy was holding a fork.
BRAK!
Edgeworth banged the table loudly, make the sauce and pepper scatter. Kay, Gregory, and Bryan jumped up.
"Gregory Byrne Edgeworth. Put that terrible thing down now! How could you hold that thing? How dare you!" Edgeworth shouted, pointing his finger to the fork held by Gregory.
"Terrible thing? What kind of terrible thing, Daddy? It's just a fork!"
"Daddy says, put it down! Throw it into a trash! You dare point a gun at your own father? Bastard! Ungrateful child!" Edgeworth rose from his chair and swung his arms, ready to slap Gregory. Kay stood up quickly. Gripping his shoulders tightly, she then crammed another tranquilizer into Edgeworth's mouth.
With his eyes moistened by tears, Gregory got up from his chair.
"I'm embarrassed to have a crazy father like you, Daddy!" Cried Gregory.
"Gregory! Don't talk to your father like that! He's not crazy! Now, apologize to your father!" shouted Kay.
"But indeed he is!" Gregory shouted back. "You know what, Mommy? All my friends won't play again with me or Bryan, they said, they must stay away from the boys who had crazy father like him, because an insane father absolutely will have insane children as well! They often laugh at me and Bryan! Everyone in this city knows about Daddy's behavior at the office! Swearing to his subordinates, banging his head to the wall, slamming tea cups, talking to himself,what else do you call that, other than crazy?!"
"GREGORY BRYNE EDGEWORTH! Stop talking now!"
"Alright, I'll go! I wish you never married with him, Mommy!" Gregory threw his napkin, and ran out from the kitchen. Bryan then got up from his chair too, before he left the kitchen, he whispered to his mother.
"Mommy, Daddy should be sent to an asylum."
Edgeworth sank back in his chair, very shocked by what he had just heard.
His own son, his own flesh and blood, called him crazy.
Had he really had lost his sanity?
The strange voice appeared and whispered to him again.
"Did you hear what are your children saying? You are crazy. You're worthless in their eyes. They are ashamed to have a father like you. What are you waiting for, Miles Edgeworth? Take a knife. Stab your stomach with a knife. That way, your children won't feel ashamed of you anymore."
Crazy? Yes ... It looks like I'm really crazy ...
"Come sing along with me. I am crazy. I am crazy. I am crazy. I want to die. I should be dead. I have to kill myself. I am useless. No one loves me. Come on, follow me! Sing along with me!"
Edgeworth nodded his head, closed his eyes, then began humming absently, "I'm crazy, crazy, crazy, I want to die, I want to die, I want to die, I have to kill myself. I am useless, I'm rubbish, I'm garbage, no one loves me. "
Kay wiped tears from her eyes and shook Edgeworth's shoulders tightly.
"Stop singing like that, Miles!"
"Crazy, crazy, crazy, die, die, die, commit suicide, I'm useless, rubbish, trash, garbage, no one loves me, I'm crazy, crazy, insane, insane, insane—"
SLAP!
Kay's hands slapped Edgeworth's face hard. He opened his eyes, stared at her. He did not understand why she'd suddenly slapped him.
"Miles Edgeworth, look deeply into my eyes. You're not a garbage. You're not crazy. You have people who love you. I'm your wife, and I'll never stop loving you. Understand?"
With an empty look, and not understanding Kay's words, Edgeworth nodded slowly.
"Nice. Now, follow me. I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Love you ...? Love, love, love, love." Edgeworth was humming again.
Relieved, Kay closed her eyes for a moment, praying silently, asking God to always guided her and give tremendous patience to face Edgeworth.
Maybe Bryan was right. Edgeworth's subordinates probably were right. It might be good for her husband if she brought him into an asylum. Perhaps, if he was treated in an asylum, a miracle would happen.
Maybe.
To be continued..