Disclaimer: No, I don't own Trigun, or its characters.
Children will never change; of that I am sure.
"So..how old does that make you? How come you don't look like your old? What's it like? Does it hurt? Do you want to live long?"
I can't help but smile at such innocent questions. Unfortunately, I only respond with a simple answer.
"Very old." No more than that.
"Are you older than Grandpa?"
I nod in response. "I am very old."
"How come you're different?"
Innocence. I smile comfortingly to the boy. "Everyone's different. I just happen to have a curse."
For a moment, I believe he's all out of questions. Children are quite cunning sometimes.
"You leave them behind." Too cunning. That wasn't a question.
Silence.
"Do you miss them?"
Maybe, I shouldn't answer. "Very much." Too late.
"Have all of them gone?"
I wait.
"Yes." No more, no less.
"Will you ever see them again?" Pure Innocence.
"Perhaps..in some grey world." How I long for that day.
"Do you..want to see them again?" Deviously cunning, yet innocent.
Silence.
The sky has never been more beautiful.
"Yes." It is true.
He doesn't speak. Perhaps he is out of questions. I must be leaving soon.
"Mr. Vash.."
I'm obviously wrong.
"Are..you afraid?"
He caught me off guard. Though, there is no reason to lie. I have been truthful thus far.
"Yes." I've never been more serious.
"To die? Or to see them again?" He has never removed his innocent gaze from me.
"I am afraid of many things, but I am not afraid to die." Something inside me begins to ache.
"You're afraid to see them then." Barely a whisper. How could such an innocent child be so wise?
In a sense, yes.
"Why, Mr. Vash? Don't you want to speak to them again?"
I don't want to answer that. I don't deserve such luxury.
Unnerving silence.
"Mr. Vash..did you hurt them?"
The ache within me is worsening.
I don't want to answer. "..I have done many things I regret." I did.
That innocent gaze almost hurts. He repeats the question.
"I..didn't..mean to."
He looks away. Is he sorry for me? I don't know.
"They'll forgive you Mr. Vash."
The ache is uncontrollable. I feel something threatening to reveal itself. "She."
He looks back at me, puzzled. I can't help but smile. "She?"
I nod. For some things, there are no words. My chest feels as if it's going to explode from pain.
"Oh..I'm sure she'll forgive you then."
And if she doesn't? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
He ends the sickening silence. God, bless his innocence.
"Did you like her Mr. Vash?"
Something inside of me screams to be opened.
"Yes." I've been truthful thus far.
He smiles at me. "Did you like her a lot?" Children.
I smile back. "Yes." Simple enough. It barely describes the emotion begging to be heard.
Now he is grinning. That burning curiosity has never left him. "Did she like you back?"
My smile fades. The ache is back in full force. I feel..guilt? I deserve it. "She told me once."
His grin fades. The eyes soften. He knows something's wrong with me. Amazing how a mere child is so wise and observant. "Did you..love her?.. Mr. Vash?" Barely a whisper. I almost couldn't hear it.
I want to say what needs to be said. "I left." Wrong. That's not what I intended. Something's wrong with me.
He waits.
"Why?"
A simple question. One I can't answer. My throat burns at the very thought of answering. Could I describe it? "I didn't want..to hurt her." My lungs are going to burst. It hurts to simply think.
"Did you ever..tell her Mr. Vash?"
Funny. No one has ever hurt me as much as this child has. His questions piece my soul. Something inside me burns. Is that..my heart? I've forgotten..what it's like. To feel it. I promised never to let myself feel. I'm breaking that promise.
"I..wanted. I should have." Something is blurring my vision. My glasses? No. I'm crying. My tears.
"Why didn't you..Mr. Vash?"
"..To keep her safe." I never imagined that speaking would ache so much, that it burns my throat.
He doesn't speak. The boy must not want to hurt me anymore. Pure innocence.
The sky is slowly fading into a timid darkness. The day is gone. The stars slowly make their appearance.
"I..wanted so bad. I needed..to stay with her. I would have, but..to keep her safe. I loved her too much to put her..danger." My vocabulary is slowly diminishing. It's so hard to speak. Especially through tears.
"Mr. Vash. I..what was her name?"
Silence. Why couldn't I speak?
"She..might forgive you Mr. Vash. She might still be waiting for you to come back. She might still love you."
No..I don't deserve that. For her to forgive..I must have hurt her. I know I hurt myself..beyond words.
The little boy lifts himself up off of the ground. I suddenly come to my senses and realize his mother is calling for him. I don't move from my spot. "Mommy wants me to come home Mr. Vash. Bye." He waves, and then runs off. An innocent child. A wise child.
"Would she really forgive me?" I'm talking to myself now. I notice that my vision is absolutely horrible. I have yet to clear away the tears. My heart aches terribly. My throat burns. My lungs are going to burst. I feel like I'm going to die of misery.
"Would you forgive me? Would you?"
"Her name..Her name, was..Meryl." I had forgotten that the boy was gone.
Note: What do you think? Am I completely horrible for coming up with such a evil fic? Should I have been a little nicer on Vash? Lol. This means reviews make me very happy.