A/N: I was gonna put something here about the bullshit that is that video of James eating cupcakes but I've decided not to. Only to now realize that I have done it anyway. Fuck.
Um, yeah, anyway! :D So this kinda came to me during my whole "Star Wars" marathon watching thing I did over the weekend. Really bad rip-off/parody/whatever you wanna call it. It's not a straight-up copy of the original-although a good ninety-nine percent of the dialogue is word for word- since I changed some of the situations, but you pretty much get the gist of what's happening here.
"Star Wars" and all its characters/scenes/dialogue is property of LucasFilm, Twentieth Century Fox, and Disney, weirdly enough. Kendall, James, Camille, Dak, Logan, Carlos, Katie, and Gustavo are all property of "Big Time Rush" and Nickelodeon, I just made horrible "Star Wars" versions of them. Also, I have my reasons for not making it "Logie-Wan Kenobi"-starting with "I don't wanna" and ending with "I still don't wanna"-so please don't question me.
Kendall couldn't contain all his emotions as he sat on the transport that was driving around the hangar on the moon of Yavin. He was excited, nervous, anxious, apprehensive, stoked, overjoyed, a million feelings that he couldn't fully get a grasp on or name. All he knew was that it was finally happening, he was finally doing what he had wanted to do for practically his entire life. He was getting ready to fly a fighter jet and battle the Empire.
Ever since he could remember, all he dreamt about was leaving that forsaken desert planet he'd called home, to get away from the moisture farm he was raised on, to actually do something with his life other than fix droids or help his uncle with the harvest. He wanted to fight alongside the Rebellion, to help take down the Empire, to do some good in his life. He wasn't born to be kept down, to be a worker, to just sit around watching his life pass him by, day in and day out. He was slowly dying under those two suns, watching all his friends leave and join the academy, Kendall stuck amongst the dunes, never to escape.
But he had. He'd gotten out. Granted it wasn't exactly the way he'd hope it would happen. He'd much rather have his aunt and uncle still living, still thriving, still working that moisture farm. He'd rather have run away in a fit of his own rebellion, instead of leaving because the only remaining members of his family had been killed, leaving him with nothing to stick around for. It was a strange feeling really. He'd always known he was an orphan in all technicalities, but after losing the two people who had raised him, it finally sank in. He truly was parent-less, without a family, all alone.
Okay, maybe not all alone. He was surrounded by a couple hundred Rebel pilots, not to mention the new family he'd made with Princess Camille, James Solo, Carbacca, Loge-3PO, and R2Katie2, the two droids who'd started this whole adventure. Plus Obi-Dak Kenobi.
Dak.
His heart hurt as he remembered the mentor he'd lost mere hours ago, the man who'd told him the truth about his father and his role in the Clone Wars, how he truly died, the man who'd introduced him to the Force, taught him to trust his instincts, search his feelings, to let the Force flow and guide him. Kendall had no idea what he was gonna do now that his Master was gone. Who was gonna finish teaching him? Who was gonna help guide him through everything? Who was gonna impart their wisdom on him?
He ran a hand through his messy dirty blond hair, letting out a sigh as he hung his head. He had no time for worrying about that shit. Soon enough he'd be in an X-Wing, flying in space, on an incredibly important yet dangerous mission to try and blow up a battle station the size of a small planet. He needed to focus, to concentrate, to not let anything distract him, or he'd end up as one of the thousands of nameless Rebels who'd lost their lives during these many battles.
Lifting his head, he looked around, seeing he was near his ship. The transport kept moving, so he hopped off, landing with a slight thud as his boots hit the hard cement ground. He tucked his helmet under his right arm, keeping a tight grip on it as he adjusted the white vest that lay over the orange jumpsuit he'd been provided with, standard Rebel pilot uniforms. He almost couldn't believe he was actually wearing one, couldn't believe someone had actually just handed it over to him. He'd allowed himself a moment when he first put it on, let himself get overwhelmed with pride and disbelief and ecstasy, the moment he'd dreamt of so close to actually happening, the orange jumpsuit further providing proof of it.
He'd quickly snapped out of it though, knowing they were in a rush and needed to get going as soon as possible. They knew the Death Star would find the Rebel Base, that more than likely, the Empire had put a tracking device inside the Millenium Falcon as it made its escape after rescuing Princess Camille. It was only a matter of time before it reached Yavin and the moon on the far side where the base was located, leaving the Rebellion completely susceptible to a devastating attack, one that could actually end it. They'd already seen what the Death Star was capable of when it destroyed the Princess' home planet of Alderaan. There was no one arguing that it could blow up Yavin's moon as well.
Looking to both sides, Kendall started walking forward, avoiding other pilots as they made their way to their own ships. The entire hangar was bustling with activity, people heading to their X- or Y-Wings, people fueling them and doing final preparations, R2 and R5 units being placed in them. But one pair was out of place, one pair who weren't preparing a fighter jet or a droid or anything like that.
To the far right, Kendall spied James and Carbacca, the two of them moving metal boxes from a transport onto a small cart they'd more than likely use to put the boxes into James' ship, the Millenium Falcon. The blond let out a snort of disbelief, rolling his green eyes, knowing what was most likely in those boxes: reward money that James thought he deserved for aiding in the Princess' escape.
Adjusting his helmet under his arm, Kendall turned and made his way over, fire in his eyes, anger fueling his motions. He stopped in front of the brunet, eyes going back and forth between the boxes and the male himself, a myriad of emotions swarming inside him, replacing the storm that had been there before.
"So," he started, looking at the other male. "You got your reward and you're just leaving then?"
James didn't pause as he turned back to the blond, gripping the handle of another box. "That's right, yeah. I've got some old debts I gotta pay off with this stuff." He lifted the box, hazel eyes meeting Kendall's green ones. "And even if I didn't, you don't think I'd be fool enough to stick around here, do ya?" Box in hand, he turned around to place it on the cart with the others.
Kendall shook his head in disbelief, although he wasn't entirely sure if it was at James for leaving, or at himself for actually thinking the elder male would stick around, help fight, join the cause. He may have helped the Rebellion by freeing a key piece from the clutches of the Empire, thus helping bring the technical read-outs of the Death Star to the group of freedom fighters and allowing them to find a way to bring it down, but he hadn't changed at all. He was still in it solely for the money, his actions fueled by gold rather than a need to do what was right in the galaxy. He was still a pirate through and through.
James turned back to the slightly shorter male, small smirk on his face as he reached out to him. His fingers wrapped around the blond's upper arm, sending a jolt of electricity through the younger male, his body heating up at both the contact and the memories it brought with it. "Why don't you come with us?" he suggested lowly, that smirk still there, his eyes flashing a million promises of dark deeds in dark corners of the galaxy. "You're pretty good in a fight. I could use you." The last sentence was meant to imply needing a back-up in a fist fight, but to both of them, it went so much deeper than that, the blond knowing he'd be used in an entirely different way for an entirely different reason.
The Rebel pilot yanked his arm away, anger coming back full force. His eyes narrowed at the pirate, jaw clenched as he spoke out his frustration. "Come on! Why don't you take a look around?!" He held his arms out to the side, helmet in hand, emphasizing his point as he looked around himself. Once he felt he'd made himself clear, he dropped his arms, helmet tucked under his arm again. "You know what's about to happen, what they're up against. They could use a good pilot like you." His eyes were pleading, hoping that the few brief moments they'd shared together meant something to the other male, that the blond himself meant something, to the point where the brunet would actually do something solely because the younger male had asked him to.
But that wasn't the case.
James just snorted, rolling his eyes. "What good's a reward if you ain't around to use it?" he questioned, grabbing hold of another box. "Besides, attacking that battle station ain't my idea of courage. More like-" He paused, lifting the box up. "Suicide." With that, he turned around and put it on the cart.
Kendall grit his teeth, chin sticking out, head shaking as his vision got blurry. No way, no fucking way was he about to get upset over this asshole. He should've seen this coming, should've known this pirate would bail as soon as he got what he wanted. After all, it's what his kind did really.
But still, it hurt to know that those moments they'd shared meant nothing. That the kiss they had in the Death Star was easily shoved aside, that the heat they'd both felt as they were squished together in the trash compactor was one-sided, that the sheer exuberance and joy that was felt as they hugged after shooting down those four TIE fighters was just adrenaline at their victory and not because they were once again body-to-body.
The blond felt another crack form in his heart, joining the ones that had formed earlier that day after the deaths of his aunt, uncle, and Obi-Dak. Man, had it only been a day? It felt like a lifetime. He'd been through so much and in so short a time. His first ride in space, first time being shot at, first time using the Force and a lightsaber, his first time rescuing someone, and now, his first broken heart.
He'd have time to deal with it all later. At that moment, he didn't have a second to spare. He was about to partake in yet another first: his first space battle with the Empire. He could do this. He could pilot that X-wing and help his fellow Rebels defeat the Empire and destroy the Death Star. He didn't need James fucking Solo or anyone else.
Helmet in hand, he nodded, resolution firmly planted on his face. "All right. Well, take care of yourself, James. Guess that's what you're best at, isn't it?" His final words spat out in anger, he turned and walked away, heading towards his ship.
"Hey, Kendall!"
The other male's voice had him stopping in his tracks, but he refused to turn around, refused to acknowledge him, refused to let the brunet see how badly his departure was affecting the blond.
"May the Force be with you."
Okay, that had Kendall turning around, but only because James was so anti-Force. Pretty much since Dak had mentioned the word, the brunet had been scoffing and rolling his eyes and calling it a bunch of hocus pocus, saying it wasn't real, refusing to believe in the concept. So to hear him say that was both shocking and confusing, both emotions clearly etched on the blond's face.
James winked at Kendall, that smirk on his face, butterflies forming in the younger male's stomach at the sight. Because despite the pirate's leaving, despite his refusal to act upon or talk about anything that had happened between the two of them, despite the heart that was already breaking in the blond's chest, he knew he was still falling for the brunet.
With a small wave and a smile of his own, he said a silent goodbye to the pirate, deciding to deal with the mess of feelings he had towards the brunet later on. He had to focus, he had to get ready. Turning back around, he headed to his ship, seeing his R2 unit being placed in the back of the X-Wing, as well as Princess Camille standing below it.
The brunette immediately could tell there was something wrong with the blond, concern quickly washing over her face as she laid a sympathetic hand on his arm. "What's wrong?"
Kendall let out a humorless laugh as he placed a hand on his ship, leaning on it, helmet still tucked under his right arm. Turning his head to the right, he stared off in the direction the Millenium Falcon was located at, unable to fully see it due to the Y-Wing in the way. "It's James," he stated, not looking at Camille. "I dunno. I was really hoping he'd change his mind."
The small smile she wore was one of empathy, seeming to fully understand what he meant, even picking up on what he didn't say. "He's got to follow his own path. No one can choose it for him."
He nodded, tilting his head down, seeing the scuffed white boots covering his feet and the dark gray ground they stood on. "I only wish Dak were here." The words were low, barely a whisper, but he knew she still heard them.
Taking a step forward, Camille kissed his cheek, brown eyes full of understanding and sorrow, an unspoken wish that the Jedi Master were there, too. She stroked his cheek once, giving one final smile before turning and walking off, her own duties calling.
Kendall let out a harsh sigh, feeling a million things and nothing all at the same time. Knowing there was nothing he could do about any of it at that moment, he grabbed hold of the yellow ladder hanging from his ship and pulled himself up. The Empire wasn't gonna wait until he had his shit together before firing at them. He shouldn't wait either.
The battle was more than he expected it to be. They'd all known that there were laser cannons on the Death Star itself, but their ships were too fast to be hit by the slow moving guns. But the TIE fighters were a factor they hadn't considered, several of them flying out the battle station and engaging the Rebels in a shooting match, one that saw many on both sides lose their lives.
Kendall had nearly lost his on a couple occasions. When he'd nosedived to shoot at the Death Star, a cannon had misfired, causing a huge fireball on the surface of the battle station. He'd been unable to see anything but smoke and fire and nearly couldn't pull up, almost crashing into the Imperial base and adding to the flames. Then after blowing up a TIE fighter that had been chasing Biggs, he'd managed to get one on his own tail, the Imperial fighter locking onto him and firing, hitting him a few times, but nothing too major. He couldn't shake the guy though, but was saved when Wedge and another pilot showed up, blasting the TIE fighter to pieces.
But the worst came when he was in the trench, full throttle as he headed towards the exhaust port where the target was. His first wing-man, Wedge, was hit, meaning he had to leave and get to safety before he crashed. His second wing-man, Biggs, was blown up, leaving Kendall as the last fighter pilot left. Just him, the Death Star, and three TIE fighters on his tail, one of which was driven by Darth Rocque himself.
But he couldn't worry about any of that. He had to focus on his targeting computer, had to line this shot up perfectly to have the proton torpedoes go through the small two-meter hole and blast the Death Star into pieces, had to-
"Use the Force, Kendall."
Oh, hey, cool. He was going insane, hearing Dak's voice in his head. Perfect. Add that to his shit storm of a day.
Shaking it off, he focused back on the targeting device once more, only to hear Dak's voice a second time.
"Let go, Kendall."
He wanted to, so very bad. He wanted to let go of everything: of the pain over the deaths of loved ones, of the sorrow and hopelessness he felt in watching Dak being cut down, of the heartache caused by a pirate who never loved him and probably used him for his own selfish reasons. And he could do it, dammit! He was a fully grown man, even more so after this day of hell he'd survived. He could do this. He could fucking do this!
"Kendall, trust me."
And he did. Kendall did trust Dak, trusted him enough to leave Tatooine and follow him around the galaxy to try and save Princess Camille, try to save life on all planets. He trusted the elder male to believe what he said about the younger's father, to believe in the Force, to follow his teaching methods, no matter how insane or out there they may seem.
Keeping one hand on the steering controls, he reached his second one over, hitting the button to retract his targeting device.
A staticy voice buzzed through his helmet, this voice belonging to a corporal person back at the base in the war room. "His computer's off. Kendall, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?"
Many things were wrong, but none that contributed to his decision to switch the device off, so he gave them a "Nothing, I'm all right", continuing on his way down the trench towards the exhaust port.
More shots were fired at his X-wing, these taking his R2 unit out, leaving him more alone than he had ever been. He had no family, no Jedi Master, no fellow pilots, no James, and now, no R2Katie2. He was by himself, doomed to his fate, no matter what it was.
Shots were fired, but not at him. Instead, one of Rocque's wing-men were hit, causing them to spin out and crash into the wall of the trench, exploding upon impact. Kendall looked out the windows of the cockpit, trying to find the ship that had hit the TIE fighter, trying to locate where the shots had come from, trying to figure out who was helping him out.
"Yaaahoooo!"
A smile broke out on Kendall's face at the familiar voice coming over the radio. James. James had returned! James had come back! James had—put his ship on a collision course with the two remaining TIE fighters.
"No." The syllable was breathed out, panic flooding the blond as he realized what was about to happen. The brunet was gonna crash into the two Imperial ships, possibly killing himself and Carbacca, all to make sure Kendall was safe and could fire his shot at the exhaust port. The crazy bastard!
But before the anxiety or anger or any other emotion could fully set in, Rocque's second wing-man flew into the Sith Lord's ship on its own. The wing-man crashed into the opposite wall as Darth's TIE fighter spun out of the trench and into open space, rolling in circles, its damaged wing rendering it unable to fly straight. Or fly back to the Death Star.
"You're all clear, Kid," James stated through the radio, the smile evident on his voice as he righted the Falcon in the trench, following the X-wing. "Now let's blow this thing and go home!"
The huge smirk remained on Kendall's face as he turned to face out his front window, feeling completely at ease. He had back-up. Beyond that, James had changed his mind, had decided to do the right thing, had returned. All seemed right in the galaxy.
Mind clear, the blond focused on his job, locating the exhaust port on the far wall ahead of him. Taking aim, he pressed the button, firing his proton torpedoes. The fiery balls flew out ahead of him, disappearing into the surface of the Death Star, but not exploding. Meaning they had gone in the port and were on their way to the main reactor.
Kendall let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, his head slumping back against his seat in relief. He'd done it. He'd actually done it. He'd fired the shot that was gonna take down the Death Star and put a huge dent in the Empire. And he'd done it with the help of the male he was falling for.
Turning hard on his controls, he pulled out of the trench, the Millenium Falcon following, both ships racing back to the moon and away from the battle station that was set to explode at any moment.
And it did, bursting into a supernova, creating a spectacular display that the blond was more than glad to see. Better than any fireworks display or dying star or TIE fighter blowing up from a shot from his own gun. The Death Star was no more.
"Great shot, Kid!" James praised him over the radio. "That was one in a million."
His smile grew at the compliment, his heart fluttering and his stomach twisting in knots at the other male's words. His eyes slowly closed as everything finally set in, the relief, the gratefulness, the slight fatigue at being so emotionally drained from the whole thing.
"Remember," Dak's voice rang out in his head once again. "The Force will be with you. Always."
The smile stayed there as he knew it was true, that he wasn't crazy for hearing a dead guy's voice in his head. Dak was one with the Force, floating out there, guiding him. Kendall hadn't been left alone, hadn't been abandoned by his Master. The elder man was still watching him, still helping him, just from a far greater distance.
Reopening his eyes, he caught sight of the ship flying on his left, seeing into its cockpit at the Wookie and the human as the exchanged high fives. Yeah, he definitely wasn't alone anymore.
The celebratory cheers started as soon as Kendall landed his X-Wing in the hanger. A throng of pilots and officials had crowded around, all with their hands up, yells of victory being called out.
A huge grin was on the blond's face as he opened the hatch, joyous laughter leaving him as he climbed out, carefully making his way down the ladder. Several people jostled him with hard pats on the back, his hair being ruffed up, countless "way to go"s and "good job"s and "fuck yeah"s being shouted around him. But the one face he really wanted to see wasn't there yet.
He heard a female repeatedly call his name, looking to see Camille making her way through the crowd, pushing men a foot taller away from her, huge grin on her face.
Kendall didn't hesitate to scoop her up in his arms, hers flying around his neck, before spinning them both around in a circle. He kissed her on the cheek then set her back on her feet, watching as her eyes drifted over to his right. But before he could turn and look, someone else had spun him around.
James pulled the blond hard against him, slamming their bodies together, before his arms wrapped around the slightly shorter male. Kendall didn't even need to think about it before he hugged back, his own arms around a muscular torso, a million emotions racing through him once again. But the main one that stood out was how fucking glad he was that James was back and how great it felt to be in the other male's arms.
"I knew you'd come back," the blond stated with a laugh, gripping the pirate's black vest in his hands. "I just knew it."
"Well, I wasn't gonna let you get all the credit and take all the reward."
Kendall pulled back slightly, eyebrow raised as he looked at the elder male in disbelief. The brunet may have done the right thing and returned, but not for the right reasons it seemed. Once a pirate...
"Aaand," the smuggler continued, looking the Rebel pilot straight in the eye, serious expression on his face. "I might've missed you and decided it was worth risking my life, if it meant I was by your side."
A bigger smile than any he'd ever worn spread across the blond's face, almost hurting his cheeks and jaw. James wanted him, had come back for him, was feeling the same way he was. Kendall wanted to drag him off to a private hallway and kiss him so hard he'd see some stars of his own creation.
But that was put on hold as Camille snaked her way in, both males' arms slung over her shoulder as she turned their hug into a threeway one. She was sporting a grin of her own as she looked up at James, pride on her face. "I knew there was more to you than money."
He smiled back at her, letting out a laugh. "Yeah," he replied before turning and meeting Kendall's eyes, his hazel orbs saying a million things that his mouth couldn't. "Way more."
The blond felt a rush of heat wash over him, his body hardening, and suddenly a dark hallway wasn't good enough. He needed a bedroom with a locked door and several days of free time.
The joy was put on a pause for a brief moment as the mechanic pulled the fried R2 unit from the back of Kendall's X-Wing, a frantic Loge-3PO demanding that R2Katie2 be repaired and fully fixed, even offering up his own parts. Once the translating droid was settled down, the blond male joined his two friends, the three of them leaving the hangar and heading to a hallway.
Camille took charge, taking them towards the dorms, a sadness washing over Kendall as he realized a lot of these beds would be unoccupied that night. But he wiped that away as yet another emotion he'd deal with later as they stopped in front of a door, the lone female opening it and revealing an empty room with remade bunks before she turned to the two males.
"I'll let you guys get cleaned up," she stated with a sly smirk, slowly walking backwards down the hall they'd just come down. "I'm sure you'll need a minute to get your heads together. Or an hour." She shrugged, a knowing light sparkling in her eye. "Whatever." With a wink, she fully spun around on her heel and left them alone.
Kendall and James exchanged looks before entering the room, the blond first, the brunet closing the door behind them. The younger male stood in the middle of the room, facing the elder as he remained by the door, hand still on the knob.
"So," he started, hand going through his messy hair, feeling the sweat that had formed from the helmet, the hot cockpit, the adrenaline, and the admitted fear and panic. "You really mean what you said? About missing me and wanting to be by my side?"
James clicked the lock into place before sauntering over, blaster bouncing on his thigh with his movements, before he drew to a stop an inch away from the other male. His face was serious, eyes dark, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. "You name the galaxy, I'll be there."
"I wanna fight for the Rebellion," the blond stated, making sure there was no mistaking anything. "I wanna keep up my Jedi training and help take down Rocque and the Empire."
"And I wanna be there when all that happens."
"Even if it means going on suicide missions like this one?"
The brunet's hands went to the blond's hip, resting lightly there, but with a firm grip, as he rested his forehead against the other male's. "Suicide would be trying to live without you, because trust me, even if it was for five minutes, I learned that not having you there is not living at all."
Kendall felt his heart swell, nearly bursting in his chest, as his stomach did a million flips, heat rushing all over. Wasting no more time, he put a hand on the back of James' neck, pulling the elder male's head closer and crashing their lips together.
The explosion of their kiss was bigger than the one of the Death Star. And Kendall wanted to keep feeling the destruction and devastation for as long as he was allowed to live. His dream may have started out as wanting to help the Rebellion, but now it was to have James by his side for all of time.