Author's Notes: This story comes from a weird place. I have a tendency to make jokes about Long Haul being Devastator's crotch because, let's be honest, the idea of a Transformer turning into a pelvis in a kid's show is pretty funny! Well, that joke is pretty played out, but then I began to think about this aspect of Devastator as a serious plot point, and this story happened. This will be the first time I've ever had Long Haul as a co-star in one of my fics, and this will be the second fic to co-star Huffer. Please review to let me know what you think, and please follow this story to see where this craziness goes :)
Chapter 1
Devastated
It had been a trap. Prowl cursed himself for not realizing sooner that this had all been a set-up. Now their leader might very well bite the dust.
The Autobots had received a call from the mayor of Los Angeles saying the Decepticons had kidnaped his daughter and would kill her if the Autobots didn't deliver 40 cubes of energon to the desert to save her. Optimus Prime told them that they would deliver 40 cubes of purple paint, grab the girl, and get her to safety before fighting back the Decepticons. Of course, nothing is ever that simple when dealing with a being as evil and calculating as Megatron.
As it turned out there was no kidnapped girl. There wasn't even a mayor! It was merely a hologram, and the Decepticons had lured them into an ambush! Megatron's main goal was obtaining the matrix of leadership; which he learned was stored in Optimus Prime's chest compartment. He fired on Optimus with a super-powered version of one of Starscream's null rays, and while the red and blue Autobot leader was paralyzed Megatron started tearing his chassis open to search for the Autobot matrix.
The other Autobots tried to get to Optimus to aid him, but the other Deceptions swarmed them like angry gadflies. The seekers flew and fired all around them. Soundwave and his cassettes cornered Hound and Trailbreaker. The Constructicons mercilessly attacked the minibots. The triple changers were pounding Ironhide and Wheeljack into scrap metal, and the Stunticons harassed the Aerialbots until both had transformed into their gestalt forms and started attacking each other!
The battle was intense, but then a battle cry rang out that put most of the Autobots into a state of alarm.
"Constructicons!" Scrapper called out, "Merge into Devastator! Stage one!"
The Constructicons all turned into their vehicle modes.
"Stage two!" Scrapper ordered.
The Constructicons all connected to each other in a fluid motion that produced the hulking green and purple form of the oldest living combiner mecha; Devastator.
The target of the evil giant's wrath had not changed. The minibots looked up at that monster and knew it was coming for them. Bumblebee fired at the giant's head, but at this angle he could barely hit the thing's chassis. Devastator nearly kicked Bumblebee into the next county, but Gears pushed him away just in time. Powerglide tried to swoop down to help his minibot brothers, but he was pinned in the air between Thrust and Dirge and therefore couldn't get to them.
"Whoa mech, not cool!" Beachcomber yelled up at Devastator, "Come on, let's talk this out! We don't have to fight!"
"Oh for crying out- Get the BLAM out of the way!" Warpath hollered at Beachcomber as he aimed his cannon at the behemoth.
Warpath fired off 4 shots, but it didn't even seem to phase the gestalt. Devastator aimed his oversized gun down at Warpath with the expression of one about to spray a pesky insect. Warpath dodged just in time and transformed into tank mode to fire off more shots. Gears got into position to assist Warpath, and together they fired on the joyless green giant. Devastator didn't even stop! Their attacks had no impact at all!
"This ain't working!" Brawn shouted in frustration, "We've got to do this the old fashioned way!"
Brawn then ran up to Devastator and jumped onto his left leg! Everyone was yelling for Brawn to come back, that it was too dangerous, but he wasn't listening. He knew if he could just rip out some of Devastator's plating that the next shot could do some damage. If they could just damage him enough to get him to separate into the Constructicons again…
He made it as far the hip joint before Devastator noticed him, but when he did it was the end of Brawn's plan. Devastator grabbed Brawn in his fist, and then squeezed his fist closed for all he was worth! The others could hear the grinding of metal as Brawn was crunched under Devastator's grip like a wad of paper, and saw as their friend was thrown away like used garbage!
"Brawn! No!" Bumblebee screamed desperately.
He and Beachcomber ran together to check on Brawn and bring him back to the others. His body was mangled, and he was barely recognizable as a Cybertronian, but Beachcomber could still detect a spark with his advanced scanners. It was weak, but if they could just get Brawn to Ratchet quickly he still had a chance.
"We need someone to transport Brawn to Autobot Headquarters!" Bumblebee yelled as they got close to their team, "Where's Huffer? He has a flatbed in his subspace!"
Huffer heard them from where he was, hiding behind a rock, and immediately transformed and drove out to collect Brawn. He scanned for Devastator, but the big galoot was already fighting Superion, who had come to their aid after defeating Menasor.
"About time you got here!" Gears groused, "Hurry up and get him to HQ pronto! He doesn't have long..."
Gears said that last part with uncharacteristic softness and sorrow. Huffer knew this was serious if even Gears was willing to put away the grumpy act and genuinely lament over something.
The group loaded Brawn carefully onto Huffer's flatbed, and the little orange cargo truck took off at over a hundred and fifty miles per hour!
Huffer cursed himself and everything that brought him to this planet as he drove away from the conflict. He had been hiding while his friends fought. He was a lot of things, but he normally wasn't a coward. It had been Devastator though. Huffer was deathly afraid of Devastator. That unholy science experiment had killed tens of thousands of Autobots, including some of Huffer's friends from back on Cybertron. That thing could even match Omega Supreme's power! How could a bunch of minibots stand up to something so incredibly powerful?
Still, Huffer knew he made the wrong choice when he caught a glimpse of Brawn's battered body in his rear view mirror. Brawn knew what they were facing too, but he still fought for his friends and for their future. Beachcomber wouldn't actually fight to amount to anything, but at least he had a reason not to. Beachcomber was a pacifist and didn't believe in violence. Huffer was just a coward.
The battle had not gone well. They managed to keep the matrix out of Megatron's grasp, but at a high cost. Optimus Prime was in intensive care, Wheeljack had to have part of his helm rebuilt, and Powerglide lost both his wings. Besides Optimus Prime though, the worst injuries belonged to Brawn. Ratchet had his spark and processor on life support, but he would have to rebuild the mech's entire body from scratch. There was nothing left to salvage, and they weren't even sure the brave minibot would survive.
Many mechs had visited the injured 'Bots. Brawn had his fair share of visitors, even if he didn't know they were there. While most of his visitors felt sadness and grief, Huffer felt an intense sense of guilt over not doing anything to defend his friends. He could've helped Brawn, maybe provided cover fire or a distraction, but he didn't. He did nothing, and it was eating him up inside.
/Attention Autobots,/ Prowl intoned over the public comm frequency, /there will be a meeting of all available Autobots in the conference room in one hour. Repeat, there will be a meeting of all available Autobots in the conference room in one hour. That is all./
"Well Brawn, I guess I've gotta go get ready for the stupid staff meetin'," Huffer said to the stasis-locked spark being held in a clear container, "I'll see you soon, pal. Get some rest. Well, I mean, if you can rest for all these stupid beepin' noises. Don't you just hate the medbay? I do. I don't know why Gears is always here. He must be nuts. Listen...you did good out there. I mean sure, you failed miserably and probably won't make it, but at least you tried. Oh, I didn't mean that! Of course you're gonna make it! You're Brawn! Everybody knows how tough you are. You're not gonna get bumped off by a bunch of plows and backhoes, right? Right. Well, see ya."
Huffer then left to go to the wash racks and clean up before the conference. With his luck he was sure there would be a long line and he would be late because he had to wait in line to wash off the desert dust. Oh well, it wasn't like he could do anything about it.
Prowl sat at the end of the table in the conference room and surveyed the gathered Autobots. It was the place where Optimus Prime usually sat, and Prowl didn't like having to assume this responsibility; at least not under these circumstances. He, like everyone else, only hoped their leader would pull through.
"Gentlemechs, we face a grave danger now that Megatron knows the matrix is here on earth," Prowl said without preamble, "For vorns we have been in an arms race with the Decepticons. They build a gestalt, we build a gestalt. They build a death ray, we build a disintegration ray. They build a greater gestalt from earth vehicles, we build a greater gestalt from Cybertronian air craft. I trust you are seeing the troubling pattern with our current situation."
Sideswipe actually raised his hand at that one, and Prowl sighed before allowing him to speak.
"Um...The pattern is...They're winning?" Siodeswipe ventured uncertainly.
"Not exactly," Prowl replied, "The problem is that the Decepticons always initiate the next phase of escalation. On Cybertron they took control of our energon supply while we scavenged for their scraps. On earth they make leaps and bounds in technology while we struggle to clean up the aftermath of the ongoing conflicts. In order to defeat Megatron we must take the fight to them, and we must start with their most dangerous weapon; the gestalts."
"Whoa, hold on!" Jazz interjected, "We've already got that covered. We have Superion and Defensor on our side."
"Yes Jazz," Prowl said dryly, "Meanwhile Megatron has Devastator, Bruticus, and Menasor. Not to mention Defensor is exactly that, a defense. The Protectobots aren't designed for heavy combat, and First Aid is a pacifist. The Decepticons have three bloodthirsty combiners, and we have two skilled yet inexperienced combiners. This cannot go on."
"Well, what do you suggest, Prowl?" Ironhide asked.
"In order to reduce casualties on both sides, we must kill one member of a combiner team to remove the combiner from play," Prowl explained.
"That will never work!" Red Alert exclaimed caustically, "Combiners are designed to be interchangeable! If you kill a member of a gestalt, then Megatron could just have one of his other troops reformatted to fit the combiner! It's a foolish plan!"
"In most cases you are correct, Red Alert," Prowl told him, "However, I believe I have discovered an achilles heel for their senior gestalt; Devastator. You see, Shockwave built Devastator as the first ever combiner team. While the effort was solid and holds up to this day, combiners in the modern era are built differently. The biggest change to the original design is that where there used to have to be six members, modern combiners only need five. Devastator's model is obsolete, and if we kill their sixth component then they will be unable to replace him. The other five Constructicons will not have to die, Devastator will never be able to harm anyone ever again, and we will have an advantage on the battlefield. It is the soundest goal I could devise, and I have calculated 17 plans with a good chance for success."
"So all we have ta do is kill a Constructicon?" Ironhide asked for clarification.
"Not just any Constructicon," Prowl elaborated, "It must be Long Haul."
"Why Long Haul?" Bumblebee asked.
"Because according to this diagram," Prowl said as he pulled down a picture of Devastator's separated parts, "Long Haul is a lower central component. This piece is no longer used in gestalts, and therefore cannot be replaced once eliminated."
"Wait a minute!" Gears piped up, "You mean Long Haul is Devastator's crotch?"
"Yes, the lower central component," Prowl replied in clipped tones; annoyed that Gears wasn't taking this more seriously, "Assassinating Long Haul should be rather simple, actually. Long Haul is a matter transport unit, so he often has to leave the ship to deliver items from one location to the other."
"You mean he's a garbage truck!" Gears exclaimed; amused despite the oppressive atmosphere, "So just to clarify, Long Haul has no face in his robot mode, he's a dump truck in his vehicle mode, and Devastator's junk in his combiner mode. Seriously, forget Long Haul! They should call this guy Stinky! He's gotta be the worst smelling 'Con on the Nemesis!"
"Yeah, and the Decepticons are trapped underwater with him in a confined space for days at a time!" Windcharger pointed out; laughing out loud.
Prowl could sense he was losing control of the room as the crowd started laughing at Gears' and Windcharger's antics. He tried to remain calm since yelling would only make things worse in this situation. He still wished they would take the potential sniping of a Decepticon more seriously than this though.
"Ahem!" Prowl finally coughed loudly to get the attention of the room back, and they all fell silent at his hard glare as he pressed his palms flat against the table, "Thank you. Now, I need two volunteers to go on the mission. One will serve as a distraction for Long Haul, and the other will shoot him in the spark. I want this to be clean and quick. There is no reason for Long Haul to suffer."
"Yeah, I think he's suffered enough," Gears said with a mischievous grin.
"Yeah…*snerk* Stinky!" Smokescreen snickered with all the maturity of a five vorn old.
Prowl rubbed the bridge of his nose cone and tried to put the disruptive influences out of his mind. If only he could force Gears to volunteer to be the bait…
"I volunteer to take the shot, sir," Bluestreak said resolutely.
"Are you certain you can handle this being on your conscience?" Prowl asked him somberly.
"It has to be me, Prowl," Bluestreak replied; his gaze never wavering, "I'm the best marksman we have right now, and if I shoot Long Haul he won't even know what hit him. I'll make sure to practice diligently with whatever weapon I'm given. I'll admit, I wish we didn't have to do this, but if we do have to then I don't want him to be in pain. I'll take care of it, sir."
"Very well, then," Prowl nodded, "Now as for the distraction, I believe-"
"I wanna do it!"
Everyone turned around and stared at Huffer, who had spoken, with a look that said they all thought he was glitched.
"Huffer...Are you certain you want to do this?" Prowl asked; still in shock, "I mean, it's normally not in your nature to volunteer for things."
"Are you callin' me lazy?" Huffer asked; affronted, "I'll have you know I pull my weight around here as good as anyone else!"
"I never said you didn't," Prowl replied drolly, "It just doesn't seem to be in your nature to assist us unless you are first asked to. Why would you want to go on such a dangerous mission?"
"I have to," Huffer replied firmly, "It's my duty as an Autobot to keep us and this lousy stinkin' planet safe from Decepticons. Optimus would do the same thing. So would Brawn. I'm doin' this for them."
The hard look on Huffer's normally melancholy face plate told them he was serious. Prowl, not knowing what else to do, nodded his consent to the little truck-former. The meeting was dismissed, and Huffer and Bluestreak followed Prowl out of the room to go over the details of the plan.
Huffer sighed to himself in resignation. The hardest part about this assignment was probably going to be listening to Bluestreak's inane road trip conversation. Huffer wasn't exactly the most patient mech, and Bluestreak tested his patience every time they spoke to one another since the grey and red Praxian never seemed to shut up.
He also thought about Brawn's critical condition. Huffer choked under pressure, and it cost his teammates dearly. By facing Long Haul, he was in a sense facing Devastator. He would not fail again.