Chapter One: L's Love
I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE!
SETTING: Takes place in the building headquarters that L had built, it skips from time to time back to the hotel rooms and other parts of the story line. This chapter takes place in the hotel room with the cameras.
WARNING: This story involves, unrequited love, self harm, suicidal thoughts, sexual thoughts, EXTREME sexual fantasies (Sometimes, it goes from not to bad to extreme, and can be normal.), binge eating, bulimia, self hate, stalker-like tendencies and behavior along with actions, swearing, sexual stores, sex toys, masturbation, and (sometimes) explicit sex scenes. If you do not like stories like these then please don't read.
HOW TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT:
'Normal Text' means it's a thought.
'Italics' mean that it's a fantasy.
Italics means that it's a flashback
Bold means it's an author's note.
Summary: L is in love with someone he knows will never return his feelings, and even though he doesn't want to feel this way, he just can't help it.
…..
L knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it.
His entire life L has always had a good grip on his emotions, he never let his emotions get in the way of a case, and he never got close to someone who was either working on the case with him, or anyone involved in the case.
But that all changed when L started working on the Kira case.
At first L didn't think much of the Task Force members when they introduced themselves, but as he got to know them, he started to like them.
He had different feelings towards each Task Force member, some good, some bad.
But there was one member of the Task Force that made him have feelings he had never felt before, one member that made him smile on the inside, one member that haunted his dreams, one member that infested his mind, and that member, was Aizawa.
At first L couldn't identify what exactly it was that he felt for Aizawa, he had never felt this way about anyone he knew, but the name of the emotion he felt for him and what it meant was something he just couldn't figure out.
When L first met Aizawa, he knew that he was going to be a very good member for the investigation.
As time went by, this feeling he had only grew more and more, and he still couldn't decipher what the feeling was.
But then, something happened that made L realize what it was he felt for Aizawa.
One night, when the headquarters was still just a hotel room, after all the Task Force members had left, L had laid down on the bed in the hotels bedroom.
It was a big bed because he always had Watari book a suite, so the rooms were always big so there was always space for all the case files, the Task Force members, and his sweets.
The room was dimly lit by a lamp on the nightstand next to the bed, making half of L's face look even paler than it did before.
Before he left to get more ingredients for L's dessert buffet that he had everyday, Watari had told him he needed to rest since it had been eight days since the last time he slept, so he decided he would at least try to sleep.
He was under the covers, only his head peaking out.
He tried to relax himself so he could get tired, so he gently rubbed his thigh.
At first it was just a nice relaxing feeling, but then it started to feel a different kind of good.
L knew this feeling, he was starting to get aroused.
It had been a while since the last time he had touched himself, and it would relieve some of his stress, so why not?
He ran one hand underneath his shirt and tweaked his right nipple.
"Ah…!" He quietly gasped, oh it had far been too long he thought, he needed to do this more often, it made him feel human.
He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them along with his boxers off and lazily threw them to the floor.
He moved his hand over to his left nipple, taking the hard nub and rolling it side to side between his forefinger and thumb.
He lightly cupped his erection, softly squeezing it before curling his nimble fingers around the shaft, stroking lightly but quickly.
He took the hand he had used to play with his nipples and put his index, middle, and ring finger in his mouth.
He closed his eyes as he thoroughly coated them, imagining that he was sucking off no one in particular, but when he looked up at the man in his fantasy, he saw the last person he ever expected to suddenly in his fantasies… Aizawa.
He choked on his fingers, and stopped his strokes, he blushed in embarrassment.
Why had he imagined Aizawa!?
L calmed himself again and tried to reason with himself.
'Aizawa is an attractive man, it's only natural that I would fantasize about a man like him. Besides, this is my sexual fantasy, and no one has to know about it.' He thought to himself. He once again began to stroke himself just as he had before, and slowly slid his fingers back into his mouth, sucking them like he had before.
He closed his eyes and returned to his fantasy, but wasn't surprised this time when he saw that the man he was sucking was Aizawa.
'They were in the hotel room that they used for as headquarters, and L and Aizawa were both on the couch where the camera surveillance for the Yagami household was set up. Aizawa was sitting on the couch normally, but L was between his legs, sucking him lovingly. Aizawa was big and thick, just the way L liked it. L sucked harder, making the man groan as he pushed L's head further down his shaft, making him choke slightly.
L continued to suck until Aizawa grabbed his head and pulled his mouth off forcefully, making him look up at him, a string of saliva still connecting from L's mouth to Aizawa's cock.
L's mouth was still open because of Aizawa's strong grip on his jaw, making him unable to close it.
"Bend over." Aizawa huskily ordered.
L took his pants off and got on the couch and rested his head on the arm, raising his ass as an offering for Aizawa.'
L flipped himself over on his stomach under the covers, raising his ass up in the air as if Aizawa was really there to fuck him.
'Aizawa chuckled, and then slapped L's ass.
"Ah!" L exclaimed, not knowing Aizawa was going to do that, but liking it.
Aizawa it did again and again, and then when he was finished he squeezed L's ass cheek in his big left hand and admired the red hand marks he had left.
Aizawa got closer behind him and positioned himself at L's entrance.
He roughly went inside with one thrust.
"Ah!" L cried, not expecting Aizawa to be so rough, but not complaining.'
"Ah!" L cried as he forcefully shoved all three fingers inside himself.
' "Shut up, I know you like it." Aizawa hissed as he started to feel pleasure.
Aizawa was thrusting into L roughly, but gently at the same time, making it passionate and loving, but rough and hard at the same time.
"Aah.. Ah Aizawa... Faster..." L moaned.
Aizawa went faster, thrusting harder than he had before.
He grabbed L by the hair and pulled his head back, making him look him in the eyes.
Before L could say anything, Aizawa kissed him, shoving his tongue into his mouth.
L groaned from Aizawa's thrusts, and from the passionate kiss he and Aizawa were engaged in.
And then, Aizawa hit the spot inside him that always brought L great pleasure; his prostate.
"Oooh!~" L moaned loudly, breaking the kiss to say,
"More! Please Aizawa I need more!"
Aizawa grabbed L's hips and drove himself even harder into him, hitting L's prostate with every thrust.
L rest his head on the armrest again, moaning wantonly as Aizawa pounded him into the sofa. Tears ran down L's face from the pleasure that Aizawa gave him, making him grip the armrest even tighter than before.
"Oooh, yes… Ugh, yes~" L moaned, not caring about anything else.
Aizawa groaned, digging his nails into L's hips.
L rolled his hips back in time with Aizawa's thrusts, making him go even deeper inside than before.
L bit down on the sofa, trying to stifle his whimpers as Aizawa made passionate love to him.
L could feel it, his orgasm was approaching fast.
"Aizawa…"
L didn't get a verbal response, but he did get Aizawa speeding his thrusts up to a frighteningly inhuman speed.
L cried from Aizawa's physical response, clutching the sofa harder, rolling his hips as fiercely as he could.
His face was flushed a soft pink, his eyes were scrunched closed with tears leaking out of them, his mouth forced into an "o" shape from the onslaught that was occurring hotly at his hips; delicious pleasure.
L's eyes rolled up behind his closed eyelids, his back arched in pleasured agony, and his mouth opened wide to moan out,
"Aizawa!~"
L's come spilled out onto the sofa, soaking into the cushions.
L moaned when he felt Aizawa fill him with his seed.
L laid there, panting as afterglow washed over him.
He felt Aizawa pull his soft cock out of him, feeling Aizawa's semen drip out of him.
L slowly raised his head to look back, seeing Aizawa smirking at him.
"You were pretty good, see you later Ryuuzaki."
After Aizawa finished putting himself back into his pants, and fastening his belt, he left without another word.
L laid there, unable to say anything, but his mind thought,
'I love you.' '
L opened his eyes, he looked down at his semen covered hand that was still holding his now soft cock.
He then peacefully fell asleep without another thought.
…..
L groaned and opened his eyes, he had just woken up, and even though he knew he needed to get up he was still very tired.
L slowly sat up and looked down at himself.
His entire lower half was naked, and his left hand and cock was covered in his semen, while his top half was only wearing his plain white shirt that he wore everyday.
He looked at his pants and underwear that he had discarded of before falling asleep.
'What happened?' He thought looking at himself.
Then, he remembered.
He had gone to bed before Watari had left to get him more sweets, he tried to make himself relax by rubbing his thigh, but ended up getting aroused instead.
He had decided that he would give into the feeling, and that's how he would relax himself.
He started out imagining his normal fantasy, but then something was very wrong, oh so very wrong.
He had imagined Aizawa.
He had given himself some reason as to why he thought about Aizawa that way, and that it was fine.
He gave in, had an amazing orgasm, and thought to himself… oh no.
"I love you." L said out loud, his eyes widening in realization.
'In my fantasy I thought "I love you" about Aizawa.'
L brought his hand to his heart, no, he hadn't, he really hadn't, there was no way he had let this happen.
"I'm in love with Aizawa…" L whispered out loud, making so quiet that only he could hear it.
"Oh fuck…" He said with his head in his hands, ashamed of himself.
He looked at the clock, and then himself.
His semen had dried on him, and it would be very uncomfortable for him to just pull his pants over it and work with the Task Force members, plus, he would smell bad.
L went over to the closet in the room and picked out the same exact outfit he had worn before. He took his pants from last night and put them in the hamper for Watari to wash.
He walked over to the bathroom in the large bedroom and closed the door behind him, locking it.
He didn't feel like showering, so instead he ran a hot bath.
He set the clothes to the side and got undressed as the hot water filled the tub.
He looked at the water, it was steaming.
Slowly, he got into the bath, sitting down, but instead of his normal crouch, he let his legs spread out and stretch.
The water went up to his shoulders, warming his entire body.
His muscles relaxed and he laid his head back, closing his eyes, letting the water sooth him.
After a few minutes of relaxing, he grabbed the soap.
He ran it up and down his arms, and then washed his lower half.
When he was done he relaxed in the bath again, letting the water take him away from all his worries.
Suddenly, his phone rang.
He reached out of the tub and grabbed it, opening it and putting it to his ear.
"Yes?"
"Oh, good, you're awake."
"Of course, is something wrong?"
"No, I just wanted to make sure you were awake, because remember the last time you went to sleep and I didn't call you?" L remembered, he had went to sleep and hadn't woken up for two days.
"Okay, what time is it?"
"It's 7:37 AM."
'Alright means I have twenty three minutes before the Task Force gets here.'
"Okay, thank you Watari."
"Will you have the usual for breakfast?"
"Yes."
"Alright." And with that L hung up.
L put his phone back down and got out of the tub.
He dried off and got dressed.
H drained the tub and left.
L went over to the nightstand and looked at the alarm clock, 7:41AM.
It had only been a few minutes since Watari called.
L looked at himself in the mirror and examined his eye bags, they looked just like they did before he went to sleep.
He was thin, very thin, and he was sickeningly pale.
'Ugly, I'm so ugly.' L thought, looking away from the mirror in shame of his appearance.
He went out into the room where he and the Task Force would be working and sat down in the big arm chair in his normal crouch.
Watari came out with his breakfast and set it down in front of L on the coffee table.
"Thank you Watari." Watari nodded in response and left.
L admired the big ice cream sundae before grabbing his spoon and taking a big glob of ice cream onto it and shoveling it into his mouth.
He savored the taste, letting himself drift off into his own little world before remembering that he had a case to solve.
He put his spoon down and grabbed his computer, opening it and looking over the most recent murders that Kira committed.
Time passed and eventually he finished his ice cream and was down looking over all the victims, so now what?
They didn't have many leads, the only lead they had in the case was Light Yagami, and nobody believed him.
L looked at the time on his computer, it was 7:59AM.
'They'll be here in one minute, or they're late.'
Just as L finished that thought, he heard a knock at the door.
"Come in." He said.
The door opened to reveal all the Task Force members, they all looked frustrated, (about the case.) except for Matsuda, who was always happy go lucky no matter how serious something was.
L looked them over to see if their body language would show any signs of guilt or any other emotion that may reveal that they know something that he doesn't.
When L's eyes gazed at Aizawa, his eyes widened slightly, and his body tensed.
No matter how much he wanted to forget, he couldn't forget what he imagined him and Aizawa doing last night.
L looked away from Aizawa, he knew that if he looked at Aizawa any longer he would think of last night and he would blush, and the world's top three greatest detectives does not blush, ever.
'It's just a silly little crush, my heart is just playing tricks on me because I'm lonely and even though I hate to admit it, I wish I had a relationship with a man, and Aizawa is just the kind of person I would like.
He challenges me, he has an interesting personality that can be very confusing, so confusing that even I have a hard time understanding it.
He's everything I want, but he's married, to a woman, and has a daughter. Damn my heart.' L thought, but as soon as he heard the chief say something he snapped back to reality.
"What was that?" L asked, not hearing Soichiro the first time.
L didn't really pay attention to what was going on, it was hard, he was distracted by the feeling of his heart clenching in his chest from the pained love he felt for Aizawa.
He ignored it as best as he could, but alas, it pestered throughout the entire work day.
When the day was over and it was late at night, the Task Force members grabbed their coats and said their goodnights to L.
L said goodnight back, but the only one that really got his attention was,
"Goodnight Ryuuzaki, get some sleep, you look tired." Aizawa said as he was about to walk out the door, but waiting for L to respond.
"Goodnight Aizawa, will do." And with that, Aizawa left.
L's heart caught in his throat, did Aizawa care about him?
'No, don't think like that.' L thought, scolding himself for thinking about Aizawa like that again, and even thinking about the possible feelings he could have towards L.
L sighed holding his head in his hands as he blushed from frustration, and from what Aizawa said to him.
"Watari, I'm going to bed." L said, shocking the old man.
"Okay, do you need anything before you sleep?"
"No thank you, I'll be fine Watari." And with that, L walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
…..
I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "Unrequited Love". The second chapter will be out as soon as possible.
-Ally